Agent Umber, wearing a curly gray wig, big brown-rimmed glasses, a pretty blue-flower-patterned dress, a light green overcoat, and a sensible purse and shoes, stepped slowly down the back stairs.

Agent Hot Magenta, in a man’s charcoal gray suit and tie, long black winter coat, and black wing tips, with her hair tucked under a black fedora, pressed her mustache against her top lip and followed sweet-old-lady Agent Umber.

“I still think we should have used my idea for disguises,” said Umber.

“The idea is to not draw attention to ourselves,” said Agent Hot Magenta. “And I don’t think we would do that as Princess Leia and Chewbacca. Every AAA agent in the world is looking for you.”

“I could have been a stormtrooper,” said Agent Umber. He slammed open the door to the back alley like a stormtrooper.

The door smacked a man who had been standing on the other side, knocking him right into a trash can.

“Oops, sorry, dearie,” said Agent Umber in his best old-lady voice.

Hot Magenta went to help the man out of the garbage can, then noticed he was dressed as a cat burglar. She used the lid to slam him deeper into the can and hustled Agent Umber out to the sidewalk.

“Good shot. That was Agent Black.”

Umber and Hot Magenta blended into the morning-rush-hour crowd of people headed for the subway.

“We have to be ready for anything,” said the mustached man to the sweet old lady.

“Right,” said the sweet old lady. “I knew that.”

A newspaper guy at the entrance to the subway handed the sweet old lady a paper . . . then made a grab for his wrist.

Mustached Magenta sidestepped in, grabbed the guy’s pinkie finger in a pressure point hold, walked him over to his van, and threw him into the back without anyone noticing. She jammed a broomstick through the door handles, locking him inside.

“Agent Radical Red,” said mustached Magenta.

“Oh, look,” said sweet-old-lady Umber, reading the free paper, “the Christmas sale on tree decorations starts today.”

Hot Magenta guided Umber down to the subway platform, scanning everyone and everything.

The subway train pulled into the station. The doors opened, and what looked like a small boy ran out straight for Umber.

Old-lady Umber, still reading the paper, turned to mustached Magenta. “And all Christmas lights are fifty percent off!” As Umber turned, his purse spun and whacked the boy in the eye. The kid went down in a heap.

Hot Magenta hustled Umber onto the subway. The doors closed, and she got a closer look at the “boy.”

“Agent Wild Watermelon.”

“What?” said Umber.

“We have to find these good Spaceheadz and this kid before anyone else does,” said Hot Magenta. “Are you sure you know where they are?”

A polite gentleman stood to give old-lady Umber his seat. Umber sat down. The train stopped at the next station. The polite gentleman tried to slip a pair of handcuffs on Umber. Hot Magenta spun him around, slapped his own handcuffs on him, and shoved him out the door onto the platform.

“Magic Mint.”

“I’m pretty sure I know,” said Umber, using his old-lady voice, and starting to like it. “I saw their stickers when the chief first put me on the case. I saw their signs down on the avenue. I almost had them at that school play. It has to be them. And the chief said it himself. Me and the kid are the only two details who can stop his evil plan.”

The subway screeched to a stop at their station.

The doors opened. Hot Magenta karate-chopped a large guy in plumber’s coveralls back into his seat. Umber stomped a Chinese lady’s foot with an accidental heel that left her hopping as the doors closed.

“I sure hope you’re right,” said Hot Magenta. “Mountain Meadow and Jungle Green.”

Umber and Hot Magenta left the subway station without incident. But on the short walk from the subway to Fifth Avenue, Umber and Hot Magenta

1. dodged Agent Almond dropping from a tree

2. crashed Agent Purple Pizzazz, trying to mow them down with a bus

3. wrapped Agent Mauvelous in her own swinging tinsel shot

4. dropped Agent Piggy Pink into his tiger trap

5. and completely tangled the net drop/shaving cream/stink bomb attack of Agents Copper, Violet, and Neon Carrot

Agent Hot Magenta and Agent Umber stood in front of a wooden door, just down the street from a neon sign blinking JACKIE’S 5TH AMENDMENT, covered with stickers that read SPHDZ . . . BE SPHDZ  . . . SPHDZ = GOOD.

“Agent Umber,” said Agent Hot Magenta, fixing her mustache. “I didn’t think you had it in you. But you are a real AAA agent.”

Agent Hot Magenta knocked on the Spaceheadz’ door.

Little-old-lady Umber smiled and felt the best he had ever felt. He saw hearts and rainbows. He heard Agent Hot Magenta talking to a girl who answered the door. He thought he heard angels singing. . . .

The angels singing turned out to be the little girl in the Spaceheadz’ doorway screaming, “AAA agents! Run! Run for your lives!”