Follow Your Path
Success surely doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey that encounters many obstacles, mistakes, and even some wounds. Whether it is finding your soul mate, a fulfilling relationship, or a satisfying job, you don’t wake up one day with knowledge of exactly what you want out of life and find yourself saying, “If only … ”
Among the array of reasons one doesn’t succeed, the main one is fear. Fear of failure (or sometimes fear of success) creates a chaos of overthinking and overanalyzing, which roots the vibration into what I call the bottom-feeder pond. This creates even more craziness and can affect every aspect of your life. Not a fun place to be.
So, what can you do to find your path? First, set your intentions according to your passion. Is it a new relationship? A new car? A better job? More money? As simple or complex your wishes are, you can achieve them by taking action. Setting intentions is the first piece of the puzzle. Gauge how you feel like when you ponder what you want. Do you feel that flutter of fear or a flutter of excitement?
I read for a young man who dreamt of being a professional ballroom dancer. He had taken lessons since he was a small child and was now, in his mid-twenties, respected in the industry for his talent and optimism. He loved to teach and inspire others, yet he wasn’t following his path. Instead, he worked full time in an office—an office that lacked the creativity that he craved. He said that every morning when he got up, all he saw was black and a piece of him died inside—until he got on the dance floor and something inside of him stirred enough to get by until the next time. When asked why he wasn’t teaching or dancing professionally, his response was rife with excuses. A wife who really wanted him to have a “regular job.” A father who always wanted him to follow in his footsteps. Two babies to take care of. Now, the babies were a priority, I was with him on that, but as we continued the session, I could tell that while he was trying to please everybody else, he was losing himself. In the end, it would destroy his marriage, his family, and possibly his relationship with his father. We worked out a plan during that forty-five minutes, and I have to say that I held my breath to see if he would email me his family’s reaction. Two days later, I received an appointment request from a young lady with the same last name of the dancer and met her the next morning. Instead of being upset with me, she burst into tears of relief. She stated that she could feel the excitement in her husband’s voice and the rush of passion not only for the future, but in their relationship—something that had felt blocked for years—and that she wanted help with her life path, too.
Our paths do change over time depending upon responsibilities, but our dreams never should.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best when he was quoted as saying, “Always do what you are afraid to do.” Sometimes coming out of your comfort zone is enough to get the ball rolling. And if you feel as if you have lost your path, stop and reset your GPS for another destination. This is a journey, not a race, and sometimes when you think you are lost, you may actually have some wonderful experiences.
One day I came home from work stressed and sad. A client was dealing with cancer, and I was helping her overcome some of her fears, but I could see the apprehension in her eyes and her soul as we spoke. The more we talked about the crossing-over process, a man in spirit stepped closer until I could make out his features and could give her full details of who it was. He clearly said “dad.” She began to cry as I relayed messages from the person she validated as her father, who had passed away over ten years earlier. He told her that he had been there to help her into the world and would be there just the same to help her on to the Other Side. We both sobbed during the reading, and as we said our goodbyes, I asked her to send me a sign when she was settled in over in heaven.
Now, my dad and I live together and it isn’t always the best of times. Not the worst, either, but he is a traditional male. Think Archie Bunker, only not so grumpy. As long as dinner (and it has to be meat and potatoes and dessert) is on the table by five o’clock, life is okay. With my crazy work schedule, that hasn’t always been the case, and although my family adjusts fine, he doesn’t. I wasn’t even in the door when he began to nag me about being hungry and how he wanted dinner. He had also been looking all over for a sponge for the mop and wondered where I put it. I normally walk away quietly, but this time the stress of the day had gotten to me, and I had a temper tantrum—I yelled, screamed, and cried. Instead of Dad reacting with my heightened emotion as he usually does, he grabbed my hand, gave me a hug, and told me that I needed a break. That made me laugh, because it was his nagging that took me to the breaking point. My dad isn’t ever quick to say he is sorry, a problem my mom had for years (“Your father always has to be right!”), but I knew that simple hug was his way of apologizing, and I called it good enough.
Often we get caught up in petty arguments and silly grudges. Instead of holding on to all of those emotions (which is the easy thing to do), let go. Release it all because each grudge only holds us back from progressing in life. Think of it as weights in your shoes. Shrug off the weight and walk freely. I was so happy that I did that with my dad.