Chapter Twenty-Four

I WAITED UNTIL Pastor Grind had moved away from J.C. McGerber. I went to him slowly hoping he’d clue me in if he was going to throttle me before I got too close.

“I’m sorry I blamed you for hurting Addie.” I never imagined myself apologizing to McGerber for anything. “Petey’s Addie’s boyfriend. It was wrong for him to have sex with Addie, and it was also wrong that it was allowed to happen right under your nose.”

He glanced at me and looked away again without speaking, nodding. He slowly digested my words.

“Mister McGerber, it was wrong of me to assume you hurt Addie. I hope you can find it in your heart to…forgive me.”

He looked at me then. He gazed at me saying the sort of thing he expected of people including himself.

“You were wrong, Miss Tyler, but I can see how you could’ve made the mistake.”

“Mister McGerber, I’m sorry you lost your brother. I’m sorry for my part in it.”

“It’s so strange. I just called my brother before Allister told me what had happened. Warren didn’t pick up, of course. I left him a message that the boy couldn’t remember his attackers. I was certain he’d want to know. He’s interested in this community.”

Yeah, he was interested all right. It’s all self-interest. “I can’t say I have any love for him given all he did, but I’m sorry for your loss. I know what that’s like.”

“I know you do, child. Thank you.” He looked away as he wiped his eyes. “I think you and I both wanted to help our family find a better path. We are joined together in our mutual failure.”

“I’m just curious. Why’d you help Ricky? I thought you were against queers like us.”

“That pastor there. He convicted my heart and told me what he understood to be God’s way. He said, ‘we should never lose a chance to show mercy so that we too will be shown mercy.’ Lord, have mercy on us all.”

I wasn’t ready to pronounce anything a success or failure. Thankfully, Ricky was alive and safe. Next, I went to say my piece to Pastor Grind, but before I got to him somebody pounded on the church door, yelling to get in.

Dad unlocked the door and peered out. There’s no peephole in church doors. The yeller pushed the door open.

Who in the heck is…wait a minute?

The man strode in adjusting his suit at the lapels as he brushed his silver hair back with his hand.

J.C. McGerber stepped up to him. “Warren?”

“My brother in the Lord. Good to see you, J.C.” The man dwarfed J.C. McGerber a bit, but even a casual observer could see the resemblance.

Warren McGerber? I recognized his voice. He had been the man I heard talking to Grind that day. I obviously hadn’t shot him. Who had I shot?

“Warren, you’re alive.” McGerber touched his brother’s arm.

“Of course, I’m alive.” He slapped J.C. McGerber on the shoulder. “There’s too much work to be done for the Godly to tarry.”

“Warren, did you beat this boy?” Grind stumbled forward, obviously shaken having seen someone raised from the dead.

“Did he say I beat him?” Warren looked from Grind to Ricky.

Ricky shook his head no.

“Ricky states he doesn’t remember, but Lorraine said you came after Ricky at their farm and she had to shoot you.” Pastor Grind lost all color in his face like he’d seen a ghost.

“Do I look like I have been shot? I tell you, gentlemen and ladies, I have come to restore Bend and communities like it to good, family values. I have no reason to soil my hands with violence or sloth.” Warren moved among us like we were part of a rally he’d organized to support his campaign. He was schilling for votes and searching for a baby to kiss.

“Who beat Ricky after those college boys pulled him from the car?” Dad stayed on point.

“Perhaps it was an act of God.” Warren peered into heaven I guess.

“That’s what Lewis said.” I whispered to Dad.

J.C. McGerber turned to me. “Lorraine, how could you make me think Warren was dead and that he had committed such an act?”

“I thought…”

I didn’t get to finish. Momma came over to me. “Why’d you tell us a tale about shooting that man, Lorraine?”

“It’s not a tale. It’s the truth. Look at the blood on my shirt. I thought it had to be Warren McGerber.” I looked into her eyes. “There was someone else involved in this and they either orchestrated it or did the beating or both. Ricky doesn’t remember because there was ketamine in his system.”

“What did you say, Lorraine?” Momma’s brow furrowed enough to hold loose change.

“Whoever did this had access to ketamine. It wasn’t me and it wasn’t Twitch. The man knew that drug would impede Ricky’s memory.”

“Ketamine? Oh no, Lorraine.” Momma covered her mouth with her hand. “I’ll call dispatch to see if the sheriff and ambulance have made it to the farm.”

“Momma, do you know who I shot?”

“I think I do.” She hugged me. “I’m glad you’re safe. It’s going to be okay. I’ve got to call the sheriff myself.”

I went over to Ricky. I hugged him. “I’m sorry I’ve been pushing you to tell us who hurt you. I understand better now why it was hard.”

“What about Warren? Do you still believe he is involved? He flirted with me, Lorraine.” Ricky and I watched the McGerber men and Pastor Grind talk about signs and flyers McGerber wanted distributed.

“I don’t have any proof unless Lewis and Petey or the guy at the farm know something and will testify. If Lewis and Petey are smart they’re nowhere near here. I don’t know if the guy at the farm is in any shape to talk even if he were willing.”

Ricky stared into my eyes. Tears dripped down his face. He swallowed hard. Through a tender, aching mouth he said, “Lorraine, you look awful. Don’t you at least try to brush your hair? Your skin’s so dry.”

“I told you I can’t wait for you to give me a facial and work on my hair.” Ricky was healing.

Warren and J.C. McGerber were leaving. “Come on, brother. I need your help. My signs came in. I have them in the truck.” J.C. scowled at me but didn’t say anything. Warren smiled in my direction. The feeling of vomit came back.

Grind came over to where Ricky and I talked.

I didn’t know what he had to say to me after Warren McGerber’s grand entrance and speech. Still, he had tried to help Ricky by giving him sanctuary in the church while Twitch cut the wires. The cost of it for him was not lost on me.

“Thanks for opening the church, Pastor Grind.”

“Thank you, Pastor,” Ricky said.

I couldn’t help myself. Grind had been such a pain in the ass to me. After all his condemnations of queers I still couldn’t get my head around him having saved Ricky. “Why’d you do it, Pastor Grind? After all you said…”

“I went to see Ricky earlier in the day, see him for myself.” Grind had tears in his eyes. “I don’t know what I expected. Horns, maybe? Certainly not what I found. He was so small and broken and bruised. All I could think of…” He broke off. I heard the choking in his throat as he spoke. “All I could think about was my Charity—that someone could think it was God’s will to beat her, hurt her. I’m ashamed. Isn’t it something that I never thought what it would look like to strike out literally against sin?”

I got teary again.

“There’s a New Testament story in Acts chapter ten. Peter, a devout Jew, is invited to the home of a Gentile.”

“Yeah, Cornelius, the soldier.” I sat down because it sounded like Grind was going to be windy.

“You know the story, Lorraine?”

“Of course, I know it. I’ve been at Sunday school since I was little. You know, Pastor Grind, I believe in God. I just don’t believe God would make me as I am, queer, and condemn me for the same thing.”

Grind smiled. “Have you meditated on the story of Peter and Cornelius?”

“I don’t know that I’ve meditated on it, but I know the story. Peter was hungry. He had a vision of this big sheet with all these animals that weren’t on the Jewish menu for approved foods. A voice said, ‘Kill and eat.’ Peter objected because the animals were unclean. The voice said, ‘Don’t call anything impure that God has made clean.’ This happens like three times. Then Peter gets invited to the home of Cornelius, a Gentile. Jews weren’t supposed to go to the homes of Gentiles, but Peter goes. Peter understood the visions as a message from God that God decides what is clean and unclean, what is pure and impure, and God doesn’t show favoritism. God accepts people from all nations who fear God and do what is right.”

Grind smiled. “For that time period, there were four-footed animals, reptiles, and birds on the sheet that God reclassified from unclean to clean to show Peter the spirit of the Gospel. I wonder what would be on the sheet in our modern times?”

“You think there’d be queers, Pastor? Hopefully, the voice doesn’t say, ‘Kill and eat.’”

“I believe, I have always believed it my duty to drive evil out of the church, out of this world, and I had learned that homosexuality was a type of evil. But when I beheld the boy, Ricky, I thought of Charity or you for that matter, and I can’t call you evil. I don’t understand why God made you like you are, but I don’t doubt you were made by God.” Grind’s voice squeaked. “My heart was convicted; and I came to understand that hate and violence are clearly the worst evil. This church”—he surveyed the stained-glass windows, the banners, the cross above the altar—“this church will be used for sanctuary for as long as I’m here to offer it. God will judge what and whomever are pure or impure.”

“That’s a good thing,” I said. I was crying and so was Ricky. “What about what I said about Warren McGerber? Do you believe me?”

“I think Warren McGerber requires closer scrutiny. I will fight against him if he is peddling fear and hatred in the name of God. I will not let that stand. Which is the long way of saying I believe you, Lorraine.”

I suppose it was the shock of him helping Ricky and believing me, but I kept talking. “I think Charity and I broke up.”

“Am I understanding you correctly?”

“Yes sir. I suppose you’re relieved about that?”

“Maybe. I’m not so positive about what I am any more when it comes to the details of all these things.” He put his hand on my shoulder gently and leaned in a bit. “I do know long-distance relationships are difficult.” He took his hand away. “Charity says she’s going to Europe. Also, you should know that Jolene will be home this weekend and she’s bringing a boyfriend along.”

“Wow, have you met him?”

“This will be the first time.” Grind raised his eyebrows and sighed. “If you aren’t too busy I know she’d like to see her old friend and I’d like to hear what you think of this boyfriend. I admit I’m not too objective.”

“I’m probably not too objective either.”

“I’m counting on it, Lorraine.” Then Pastor Grind smiled warmly at me and touched Ricky’s shoulder before he walked to the front of the church and began tidying the communion table.