Chapter Twenty-Eight

MUMBLE AND SHUFFLE made quick work of the crime scene, which had once just been our farmhouse. They left only a few minutes after the sheriff. Immediately, Dad, Twitch, and I commenced cleaning. Our intentions were solid but seeing the living room in proper lighting showed the futility of our first idea. Ceiling plaster mixed with blood and water on the hardwood floor creating a sticky mauve paste that had to be mopped and scrubbed. Without speaking, Dad opened the side door of the house and he and Twitch dragged Ricky’s blood-sodden makeshift couch bed outside. They let it roll down the hill on its metal castors until it crashed into the side of the burn barrel. While Dad retrieved some gasoline from the fuel barrel and then doused the couch I gathered up the blood-stained throw rug, the curtains, and the quilt Grandma had made.

Dad handed a box of wooden matches to me. “Would you like to do the honors?”

I struck a match and threw it onto the pile Dad had made soggy with gasoline. Whoosh! The curtains flared up for only a few seconds and were gone. The rugs burned more slowly giving off blue smoke and an acrid, chemical smell. Grandma’s quilt seemed to dissolve. It wasn’t long before the couch caught fire too and was reduced to a charred mass indistinguishable from what it had been. Dad tended the fire and soaked the ground around it with water from the garden hose. He wasn’t about to let the fires of hell spread to anything unintended.

“Hold off on letting the dogs out of the barn,” Dad said. “I don’t want them getting into that blood. If you watch the fire, Twitch and I will take some Lysol to the walls and floors before we let them in the house.”

Twitch poked his head out of the door and called to me. “I fixed the wires on the landline and there’s a signal. I’m afraid I had to sweep up your cell phone and throw it in the bin. There was no resurrecting it.”

I nodded. The smoke billowed away from me, so I took deep breaths and tried to send those memories and the stress of the day out of my body. By the time Dad joined me again the couch had burned down to its skeleton. I had no feeling for it. It’s just a couch. It has never been alive or part of my heart like Becky.

“I sent Twitch home.” Dad took the garden hose and extinguished the fire. He drenched the surrounding ground again for good measure. “Your momma called and said they’re all still at Big Will’s Diner and about to order pie.”

“Still? It’s been hours. Are you going?”

“I never say no to pie,” he said. “You coming?”

“I will, but I’ll drive myself.”

“Don’t take too long. She said Ricky’s parents are there and his dad wants to meet you.”

I smiled at Dad. He winked back at me. He got in his truck and drove toward the diner.

I opened the barn door. Pants, Sniff, and Satan went berserk jumping on me and racing to smell things. They circled the remnants of the fire and then raced to the house. I opened the door for them and they canvased the crime scene probably still detecting things Mumble and Shuffle had missed, and Dad and Twitch’s cleaning couldn’t eradicate. Dad had replaced the light bulb in the kitchen. When the dogs had enough sniffing, they settled at my feet while I sat at the kitchen table. I petted them a while and told them what had happened. They looked at me pensively—especially Satan. “It’s going to be okay.” To prove it I filled their bowls up with dog food and topped it off with Momma’s famous meatloaf leftover from supper earlier in the week. Then, I drove to the diner.

 

MOMMA HAD COMMANDEERED the biggest table Big Will had and it appeared she planned to use the place until Big Will kicked her out. She sat with Dad on one side of her and Ricky’s mom, Maria, on the other side. The blond-haired man next to Maria had to be Ricky’s dad. Ricky sat next to him. Ricky’s dad had his hand on Ricky’s back between his shoulder blades. To my surprise Russ was seated next to Ricky. Kenny sat between Allan and Ramona. Allan’s laugh rose in the air like the high notes on a piano as he played a game with Ramona.

I watched for a while and saw what had Allan giggling. Ramona took Allan’s face in her hands and pretended she was about to kiss his messy, rosebud lips, but as she just about got to his lips she veered off in another direction and kissed his nose or eye or ear. You’d think Ramona’s misdirection was the funniest thing Allan had ever seen and maybe it was. Then Allan did the same thing to Kenny. More giggles.

There was an open chair by Dad. I’m sure it was meant for me, but I couldn’t take it. I was on the outside looking in, but it was okay. I’m okay. Well, I’m good enough. Without them seeing me I left the diner and drove back to the farm.

The papers from the college and the student loan application were anchored to the table by the hen and rooster salt and pepper shakers. I started with the college paperwork. They had demanded a final answer about when I would enroll. I warned them I would be there next semester. I wrote a check that emptied my bank account. I stuck it in the envelope, sealed and stamped it before I had a chance to reconsider.

Next, I completed the student loan papers. I was old enough to sign them myself and I was willing to incur some debt to finally finish my degree and practice as a vet for real. I stuffed those forms in an envelope, sealed and stamped it. I slapped the envelopes against the table as I contemplated the next more dangerous task.

Charity answered after a couple of rings but sounded irritable. “Lorraine, I said I’d call you when I knew what I wanted to do. I need more time.”

“It’s okay, Charity. You don’t have to agonize over any decision. I’m half of this equation and I made my own decisions. I love you and would love to keep loving you, but I don’t want to hang on to that while you’re across the ocean. Of course, you should take this opportunity and I don’t even care that you have it with Kelly—okay, that’s a lie, but the point is I get it.” I paced in the kitchen as I spoke. The dogs watched me like they were taking in a slow tennis match. The phone cord of Momma’s harvest gold wall phone twisted in knots. “You want to be an artist and you’ll risk whatever to make the best art you can. I’ve felt the same way about taking care of Little Man this past year. Little Man, I mean Allan is going to be okay. Momma and Dad are here, and Kenny met a really nice woman who seems to be good for him. And Allan. I can leave him now.”

Charity was silent on the other end of the line.

“Are you there?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m leaving for school next semester. I want to be the best, most well-trained vet I can be.”

“Lorraine, are you breaking up with me?”

Did she laugh? “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“I didn’t see that coming.”

Tell me about it. “Neither did I actually. Maybe since Ricky is finally safe and Allan has two parents, I can think more clearly about my own life and future.”

“Wait, what happened with Ricky? Did they figure out who beat him? I hope they tore their heads off.”

I didn’t tell her I’d nearly accomplished just that with Dad’s shotgun. “Yeah, it’s been sorted as best as it can be for now. You need to ask your dad about it. He’s quite a hero in the whole thing. I think you’d be proud of how he provided sanctuary for Ricky.”

I gave Charity time to take that in.

“Charity, I put in my paperwork for college. I start next semester. Maybe you can call or write me to tell me how your travels and artwork are going and I could tell you about school?”

She didn’t say anything right away. I hoped the pause was because she wondered if she would miss me. I knew I’d miss her, and I knew I would get through it. I’d survived worse.

“Talk to you later?” Charity said.

“You bet.” My heart didn’t shatter.

I’d been carrying two identical business cards in my pocket but hadn’t used the number. The crest for Jewitt County Social Services was nearly rubbed off and the sheen was totally gone from both cards, but I could read the number. I dialed.

Marin answered.

“Oh, I expected to get your voicemail,” I said.

“Sorry to disappoint you, should I hang up?”

“No, don’t hang up.”

“I’m kidding, Lorraine. I’m glad you called. Sheriff Scrogrum called me and told me you were very courageous and instrumental in saving Ricky again. No surprise there. He’s asked for help from Mumble and Shuffle to launch further investigation.”

“I wish I could believe they’ll make short work of it. I do want to talk to you sometime about what happened, but that isn’t the reason I called.” I needed to take a big breath and hope I sucked in courage along with that oxygen.

“Lorraine? Are you still there?”

“Yes, I am.” I took another deep breath and let it out with everything I felt in my heart right then. “I wanted to tell you…I want someone to be sweet to me too. It may sound weird, but I don’t know if that’s you exactly. I just know I like the way I feel being with you. I like how you treat me. I like the way you help people. I’m ready for your sweetness and I’m also ready to get on with college and become a real vet. It means I’ll be away.”

Marin didn’t say anything, but she didn’t just hang up either.

I kept going. “I’m going away to college next semester. I’ll come back. I’ll come back a lot because I will have a hard time being away from Allan, but I’m going to finish what I set out to do instead of waiting on anybody else to be ready. There’ll always be something that could use my time and energy. I want to keep doing my work.” I took another big breath. “If you can live with that I’d sure like to see you again.”

I waited.

I worried my long speech had put her off or to sleep.

“You, Lorraine Tyler, are really sweet on me.”

I know I blushed from head to toe. She was so sure of herself and listened to every word I said. We made a plan to meet again the next evening at her place for an indoor picnic. No horses. She told me it would be casual, clothes were optional.