I’ve got a cousin named Tony. Tony’s a fireplug, barely five feet tall and well over 200 pounds, but everyone loves him. I mean everyone. Anywhere we travel together, there is always someone there who knows him and is ready to buy him a drink. Beautiful women flock to him. Tony is not rich, not particularly good-looking. Tony’s gift is confidence.
Confidence is not something we’re born with. It’s more a habit than a hardwired personal quality. It is not bestowed like a gift. And for most of us, it’s not easy.
I was shy most of my life. As a kid, I was told by authorities that I was shy, so I assumed that position. Not until I became a professional did I realize that my shyness was not a trait that would serve me well. I frequently find myself onstage or in front of a camera and have to play someone who is comfortable being there. Years of practice have lessened my fears, but I still have to summon the courage to walk confidently to the podium. My confidence is not something I walk around in all the time, but I can call upon it in short bursts when necessary. Confidence is one of those ambiguous traits, like willpower or intuition, that can be practiced, exercised, and strengthened like a muscle.
My definition of confidence is “being there.” This means being in the moment and acting with intention, not distracted by second thoughts or being “in your head.” It means just moving forward—confidently. It means accepting the self-doubt and fear that tend to run (and ruin) our lives.
Confidence comes from a mind-set of abundance and wealth and gives us the freedom to ask for help, to ask for more, and to ask for what we deserve. Confidence makes us attractive to friends and clients. It gains trust and even inspires confidence in others. Confidence is damn sexy.