Religion played a large role in my youth. Catholic school, altar boy, catechism, the works. During Sunday church service, there was a hymn that I was particularly fond of and would sing loudly: “Seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall open, ask and it shall be given.” Being an imaginative kid, I would act out this possibility in my head; I would find a big door in the clouds and knock, and from behind the door angels would appear with gifts—like a heavenly trick or treat.
Despite this invitation from god, asking for help has always been difficult for me. I was raised to be strong and independent, never in need of any assistance. Asking for help meant I was weak, stupid, or ignorant. It’s taken me a few years to learn that my thinking was wrong and even backward. Asking questions is the path to knowledge, and asking for help is how you progress.
No one goes it alone. You have no archenemies planning your demise. The world wants you to be happy and to succeed. Ask for help. There are people who have made the journey before you. Reach out to them. Like angels with gifts, they want to share their knowledge and help.