Admit it, you’re a caretaker. You say yes to solving other people’s problems for a number of reasons;
Most of us feel that saying no at work will initiate a sequence of events starting with losing our job and not getting paid, and ending with social banishment, cat food on crackers, and eventually a lonely death in a trailer park. And heaven forbid saying no to family—they’ll stop loving us forever.
So, we say yes when we mean no.
The cost of all this yes is that we begin to lose ourselves. We slowly lose our personal time and even our self-respect. We end up angry and resentful of our job or loved ones, all because of one lousy habit of saying yes.
The gentle art of saying no isn’t about shirking work, friends, or society, but about becoming a better contributor, a more worthy, equal, and happy partner. Bragging about how much time you spend at work shows a complete lack of commitment to your life. Saying no lets others know that you have boundaries and standards. It means taking a stand for yourself.
I am a happy designer because over the years I have crafted creative ways to say no to my clients. We are both better for it. I understand what they want, but if I don’t agree with their demands of me or my time, I am free to offer alternative creative solutions. If I feel that our relationship isn’t respected, I am also completely free to fire them and walk away happy. The result is that I no longer feel like a victim, constantly on the losing end of compromise. When you say no, you hold the line for your self-respect.
Stop putting up with others’ crap that doesn’t serve you or propel you to a higher calling. Draw a line—and hold that line for yourself and as an example for others.
