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Caroline’s fever slowly subsided, and she was able to sit up and eat gruel and beef broth. Hugh was there every day. Caroline could not believe it. A man like him had to have more important business to attend to, but she did not dare ask him why he stayed. The expenses he had incurred on her behalf had to far surpass anything that she would be able to pay back by giving him her body.
She tried not to think about it when he would watch her eat or read to her from the newspaper. She would watch him in those situations and know that she would not mind having to bed him. She remembered the tingling sensation that his fingers between her thighs had created, and each time she thought of it, she could not help but blush and think how she wanted his fingers there again when she was better.
“Caroline, I know it’s none of my business, but what happened to your family?” Hugh asked one day as he was watching her eat.
The doctor insisted on beef broth only, but Hugh had sneaked a couple of buttered rolls onto her plate as well. He said that since she needed to gain weight as well, there could be no harm, and Caroline devoured the rolls.
Now, as he asked his question, she looked at him with a half-eaten roll in her hand. His gaze was earnest, his brown eyes that seemed to always hold a grain of mirth or compassion were sterner now.
“Why do you want to know?” she could not help but ask. He was the strangest man that she had met. No one could care so much for a stranger as he had done. Anyone else would have left her here at the inn, having to deal with her financial problems and her illness on her own.
Hugh shrugged, to buy time before he answered, she supposed. Caroline felt certain that he knew why he asked.
“As I told you before, it is clear that you come from a more privileged background, yet now I find you penniless and without a family to protect you and care for you.”
Caroline looked at the roll in her hand instead of at him.
“They all died,” she finally said, then looked up again.
“Yes, you told me,” Hugh said and leaned forward a bit, resting his elbows on his knees. “But what happened to them?”
Caroline had not told anyone about her family for the past two years. Her employers seemed to be satisfied when she told them that her parents were dead and that she had to take care of herself now. But she had always missed having someone she could talk to about them.
She looked at Hugh, who met her gaze with his dark brown eyes full of compassion and questions. He was not simply asking because he wanted to know where to send the bill or where to ship her when she was able to travel. He wanted to know because he cared about her. By some miraculous stroke of luck, she had managed to pick the only man in the public room of the inn who would not simply take advantage of her body, but actually cared that she was a human being.
Their eyes locked again in the way she remembered from the first night. A way that made her feel that they were touching each other. She looked down and smiled slightly. She could tell him; she knew that now.
“My mother died ten years ago, giving birth to my baby brother,” she said, nipping a small bite of the roll with her fingers and putting in it her mouth.
“So, you have a brother?” Hugh asked.
Caroline shook her head. She looked straight ahead at the crackling fire in the fireplace.
“No, he died too. Five years ago. There was an accident.” She could hear her voice shake and looked at the roll in her lap until she was able to control it. She wanted to be able to tell this without crying.
“There was a small pond on my father’s estate,” she said as she looked straight at Hugh. “My brothers used to go down there and play. I had three younger brothers: Tommy, who was ten, Eddie, who was seven, and Freddie, who was five. They would be at the pond all day, fishing or swimming or rowing in an old rowboat my father did not use anymore. Sometimes my sister, Emma, and I would be there with them, or their nanny would, but often they would play on their own. . .”
She had not realized that the tears had started to stream from her eyes before Hugh reached inside his coat and retrieved a handkerchief that he handed to her without a word. Caroline dabbed her eyes before she went on.
“One day, they did not come home for supper. I went down there to fetch them. I was quite angry with them because I had to get them. I was preparing quite a lecture for them in my mind.” She smiled with quivering lips at Hugh, as she dabbed her eyes again.
“When I reached the pond, I found the boat turned upside down in the middle of it. I went into the water without thinking, finding Tommy’s body trapped underneath the boat. I hauled him to shore, then went in to try and find the other two. I found Eddie floating in the water, face down. . .”
A sob erupted from her, almost like a hiccup, and the sensation made her cough. Hugh was sitting on the bed beside her now, gently stroking her back. When she was done coughing, he remained on the bed, sitting beside her with an arm around her. Caroline enjoyed the warmth of his body, the gentleness in being touched in a comforting manner.
“And Freddie?” he asked after a long while.
“They had to drag the pond. They found him two days later, tangled in an old fishing net,” Caroline said in a clipped tone, trying not to cry again.
“I’m so sorry, Caroline; it must have been terrible for all of you. But I can only assume that this is not the end of your story, since by your account, you still had both a sister and a father by this time.”
Caroline nodded and rested her head on his shoulder.
“My sister Emma. . . she was my best friend. There was only a year between us. She became ill three years ago, cancer. My father did everything he could. He could not lose another child. He sought out every doctor, every cure, spared no expense, let his estate crumble around him in order to save Emma. . .” Caroline sniffled.
“But he couldn’t,” Hugh finished her sentence for her.
Caroline shook her head. Where it had been a shock losing her three brothers all at once, it had been prolonged agony to watch Emma slowly fade away. In the end, Caroline had often thought that it would be a relief for both her and Emma when she finally died.
“No, she died after a year’s illness. My father could not cope with losing another child. He died just two months after her.”
Hugh was stroking her shoulder, where his hand rested. His other hand reached for hers, still holding half a roll.
“I’m so sorry,” he said and kissed her lightly on the hair.
Caroline nodded, but did not say anything for a while. Then a horrible thought occurred to her. The way she had phrased it. . . She quickly lifted her head from Hugh’s shoulder to look at him attentively.
“He did not kill himself,” she said. “You mustn’t think that of him. He didn’t kill himself.”
“I didn’t think that,” Hugh said gently.
“It’s just. . . when you stop eating and sleeping because of the grief, there really is no other way,” Caroline said as she leaned against the headboard again. She did not dare put her head on Hugh’s shoulder again for some reason.
“What happened then?” Hugh asked gently, “You mentioned that your father owned an estate.”
“He did. He was a gentleman farmer,” Caroline said.
“A gentleman,” Hugh repeated. Caroline could not make out from his tone of voice what he meant by it.
“My cousin inherited the estate,” Caroline said tonelessly. Thinking of Stephen and the way he had treated her always hurt.
“Why couldn’t you stay?” Hugh simply asked. Something in her tone of voice had to have given her away.
Caroline took a deep breath, then looked at him tentatively.
“Why do you want to know?” she asked.
“You have to have realized by now that I care about you, Caroline,” Hugh said gently, stroking a tendril of hair from her face.
Caroline looked away, trying to digest what he had just said. He cared about her. She looked at him briefly and caught him smiling at her before she looked away again. He cared about her, she repeated to herself. She supposed that she cared about him too. At least the version of him that she had built in her head.
“But you don’t know anything about me,” was all she could muster as a response.
“No, that’s why I’m asking you. Because I want to know you,” Hugh stated.
“I don’t know anything about you,” she said as she looked back at him.
“Well, all you have to do is ask,” Hugh declared.
“Do your parents live?” Caroline asked.
“My mother does; my father died last year.”
“I’m sorry about that,” Caroline said.
“Thank you, but it was expected. He had been sick for several years. Cancer, like your sister.”
“I’m still sorry,” Caroline told him. “You cared about him a lot,” she said as she saw the distant look in his eyes.
Hugh sighed and looked at her, smiling bleakly.
“I did,” he mumbled and then, after a pause, added a bit curt: “Next question.”
Caroline recognized an evasion when she saw one.
“Any siblings?” she inquired.
“Three brothers, also younger, just like yours. One of them was actually called Eddie as well, when he was a child, although I think he would murder me if I called him that now,” Hugh said with a smile. She could see from his eyes that he was not with her in the room in that moment, but somewhere far away in his childhood, with his own brother Eddie.
“What does he do now? Eddie?” she asked to bring him back to the moment.
“Edward is at Oxford, along with my other brother James. Oliver, the second oldest, is in the Navy.”
A wealthy family, just like Caroline had thought.
“And you, what about you?” she asked, even though it was highly impertinent, but then again, their whole encounter was.
Hugh seemed to hesitate for a moment, avoiding looking at her.
“My father owned an estate, as well,” he then said. “I inherited it last year.”
Caroline nodded.
“Do you think you know enough about me to answer my question?” he asked with the gleam of mirth in his eyes.
“What was your question?” Caroline asked and smiled at him.
“What happened to you when your cousin took over your father’s estate?” Hugh said.
“Oh.” Caroline could feel the smile disappear from her face. “That question.”
She paused for a moment, trying to find the right words.
“My parents married for love,” she then began. “My mother did not come from a wealthy background; there was no dowry. But they were very happy together.”
She paused for a moment, thinking of how she and Emma had a joke that they should always make a noise before entering a room, to ensure that they did not find their parents hugging or kissing in there.
“My uncle and aunt, my father’s younger siblings, were against the match,” she said and glanced at Hugh.
“Why? Didn’t they want to see their brother happy?” he asked.
“Not as much, as they wanted him to take a wealthy bride that could have helped them achieve their goals in life. They felt certain that my father could have made a better match, if he had not fixated on my mother.” Caroline paused for a moment. “Perhaps he could have,” she then said.
“I can see why your uncle would be angry, since he ended up being the heir to your father’s estate, or rather, his son did, but what about your aunt?” Hugh said.
“She felt certain that she could have married better if she had had a larger dowry. As it was, she married a doctor and they moved to Bath. I’ve never met her, but I’m on my way there to see her. . .” Caroline let her voice trail off. Her aunt was her only chance by now. If she did not want to take her in, Caroline had no idea where she would go.
“That still does not explain why your cousin kicked you out,” Hugh said.
“He didn’t exactly. But he felt that, since my father had made a poor match with my mother, managed the estate poorly since she died, and spent all liquid assets on trying to cure my sister’s illness, it would only be fair that I worked if I was to remain in the house. For free of course. I told him that I would rather work for other people, receiving wages, than work in the house where I was born and grew up.”
“It sounds humiliating, indeed,” Hugh said.
“I managed to secure a position as a governess and was there for a year before the family, it was a military family, was stationed in the Caribbean. They wanted a governess that spoke Spanish and thus hired a new one. But they were very kind and helped me secure another position.”
Caroline paused thinking of Colonel and Mrs. Higgins’s three young girls. She had adored all three of them and they her and were sorry to have to let her go. The next family, the Weatherly’s, had not been as kind, but she had gone on well enough. Until their eldest son returned from university for the summer and felt that one of Caroline’s duties, of course, should also be to warm his bed.
“I had to give up that position after six months. I had to leave rather abruptly and without a reference. It is very difficult obtaining a position if you don’t have one, and I had to take a position with a seamstress when I reached London.”
The time spent unemployed, hoping, and waiting for a new position as a governess, had nearly wiped out her savings. At the same time, she had struggled to find another position. When she applied to be a maid, they all felt that she would not suit, giving her fine speech and manners. Caroline had tried to argue that it would only be an asset, but had been turned away every time.
The work with the seamstress had been tough, working twelve hours a day at least, often sitting in uncomfortable positions as they sewed the fine dresses for the ladies of the ton. But Caroline had managed, saving whatever she could from her meagre wages.
“What happened, since you’re not there anymore?” Hugh asked.
“I stayed in the basement under the shop, along with the other girls. It was not a nice room, but it was cheap. It was where I had all my belongings. Three days ago, we were awoken by Madame LaRue, who owned the shop. There was a fire and we needed to leave. I feel so foolish — I just grabbed my clothes, but took no time to retrieve my other belongings, including my savings,” Caroline said.
Caroline looked at her hands. She had felt so silly. Two of the other girls had remembered to take their belongings, even Madame had taken a small bag and several rolls of the finest silk before she left the shop. Caroline had been left with her dress, her cloak, and the few coins that she was fortunate enough to have left in her pocket.
“At any rate, that’s how I ended up here, without a penny to my name,” she said in a light tone of voice to disguise how dire her situation was.