“So, she’s hot?” asked Cam.
“Totally,” I said.
“If she’s so hot, why would she like you, dude?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Cam let out a huge watery burp. Right into the phone. He’d always been a classy guy. “Sounds like she’s totally out of your league—Get him! Aw, crap!”
Cam’s Xbox was blipping and bleeping in the background. I could hear the click of the controller. He was probably sucking at Grand Theft Auto, as usual.
“Yeah, but—”
“I so had him! Mike, you should have seen the move I just made. Man! Oh, come on...Hey, guy, I gotta go.”
It was another of our two-minute conversations.
Why would she like you, dude? Why was I friends with Cam anyway? He was probably sitting in his basement, his gut hanging out, playing video games all day.
I went to my room and flopped on my bed with a groan. Cam was such a jerk. He didn’t know that Lisa laughed at my jokes and looked me in the eye. She actually seemed to like being around me. Knowing that I’d see Lisa at Explore every day kind of kept me going.
But maybe she was too hot for a loser like me. She likes you. No, she doesn’t. She likes you. No, she doesn’t. I should have been pulling petals off a daisy or something.
No, this was the new Mike. The new Mike had the guts to ask out the girl of his dreams.
It took a couple days. There were always so many people around. I came close to getting her alone a few times, but someone else would always barge in. Finally I had my chance. Friday before our morning run, I saw Lisa sitting on the grass, lacing up her sneakers. Alone.
Okay, Mike, go for it. She likes you. For some unknown reason, she likes you. I felt sweat drip down my back and into my shorts. Ugh.
I tried to act casual. “Hey, Lisa.”
“Yo, Longridge! What’s shakin’?”
“Well, uh, I was wondering if you, if you...” What an idiot. I hadn’t even thought of where I wanted to ask her to go. I knew I’d say something dumb.
Lisa smiled. “What’s up?”
“Uh, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Green Room for coffee after school.”
She pulled her lace tight with a swift tug. “Today? Oh, I have volleyball.”
Volleyball? She spends all week in Explore, hiking up mountains and learning outdoor survival skills, and she still goes to volleyball on Friday nights?
“Uh, maybe tomorrow?”
“We’ve got the big game this weekend. You should come!”
This girl was a crazy, type-A Wonder Woman. Most weekends I slept until two in the afternoon and then watched TV all day.
“Yeah, um, okay. Well, how about Monday? For coffee.”
“Monday?” She looked up for a minute. “Monday...cool! I’ll invite Kayla and Jen.” She turned to the rest of the group over by the tree stump and started to call them over. “Hey, Kayla—”
This was not going as I had planned. “No! Lisa!” She looked up at me, a little stunned. I sat down on the grass next to her. I was doing this. “Actually, I was hoping that maybe it could just be you and me.”
“Just you and me,” she repeated. Lisa’s forehead wrinkled up for a second. That was so cute. “Oh. Oh.”
Lisa looked away, fiddling with the laces on her sneakers. Then she stood up quickly. So did I. “Um...actually, I might have something on Monday night. I’ll have to check my schedule and let you know. I just get so booked up. Sorry, Mike.”
Mike. She never called me Mike.
Oh crap, what did I say wrong? Or maybe she did have to check her schedule.
Lisa took off, racing to catch up with Kayla.
“So Mr. Longridge. Here we are again.” There were those teeth again too. Unfortunately, right after the run I had my meeting with Lardface. At least she always had candy on her desk. Jolly Ranchers, my favorite. “How was the white-water trip last week?”
“Pretty good.”
“Maggie mentioned that you flipped your kayak. Did you get the hang of it after that?”
“Uh, I guess.”
“And Rick said that you’re really coming along in orienteering. Can be tricky to read those compasses, can’t it?”
What, do Rick and Maggie call Lardface every night and give her a blow-by-blow account of Mike Longridge’s Day at Explore? And then he had lunch...it was a stale peanut butter sandwich. And then Mike went to the bathroom. He crumples rather than folds his toilet paper. And then he...
I wouldn’t be surprised.
“I hear you’ve been hanging out with Tim. He’s a good guy. Helps out at the pancake breakfast every year.”
I nodded. Jeez, these people do know everything about everyone. I bet she also knew that I slept with a teddy bear named Tiggy when I was three.
“Maggie also said that you spend a lot of time with a certain”—Lardface looked down at her notepad—”Lisa Park. How’s that going, Mike?”
I didn’t say anything. There were some things authority figures didn’t need to know. Also, I was feeling kind of tortured about the whole Lisa-checking-her-schedule thing.
When I got back to the Explore site, it was our third day of archery practice. I’d come close to a bull’s-eye a couple of times.
Lisa was standing with Kayla and Jen. They didn’t see me. I ducked behind a tree and pretended to tie my boot.
“Seriously?” Jen’s squeaky voice.
“So what did you say?” Kayla. Her voice wasn’t quite so squeaky.
“I just told him I had to check my schedule.”
“Hmmm.”
“Well, I had to think fast after I realized he wanted it to be just me and him.”
“What was he thinking?” Kayla said. “I mean, you’re so totally out of his league. You could have any guy in the whole school.”
“Well, I mean, I like him as a friend.” Lisa buried her face in her hands. “Oh my god, you guys, I’m such an idiot! I led him on, completely.”
Jen put her arm around Lisa’s shoulders. “Lis, sometimes you’re just way too nice.”
“I know. My mom says I like to help out the injured birds.”
“Yeah,” Jen said, “but you don’t realize that when a girl like you talks to a boy like him, of course he’s going to like you as more than a friend.”
“Why don’t you just tell him you have a boyfriend?”
“Kay, I don’t want to lie.”
“Well, that’s the easiest way out of it,” said Kayla.
“No, I’ll think of something else.”
They walked away, down the path. Their voices got lost in the trees.
God. I was such an idiot. She didn’t like me at all. I was just her latest charity case— an injured bird, a complete and utter loser.
A boy like him. Out of his league. Those girls were worse than Cam.
My heel dug into the soggy ground. I kicked up a huge hunk of grass, then another. Sometimes destruction could be so satisfying. Worms dangled out the bottom of the dirt chunks. I bet worms don’t have to worry about rejection.
“Hey, Mike, you coming? We’re heading over to the field.” Tim and Rick walked by with bags full of arrows slung over their shoulders.
I never wanted to show my face to Lisa or Kayla or Tim or anyone in Explore ever again. But I blindly put one foot in front of the other and made it over to the archery field. I hauled a bunch of arrows out of the bag and grabbed a bow, slamming it into my knee as I yanked at it.
“Mike, you okay?” Tim asked. “You seem a little out of it.”
“Yup.”
Shoot. Try again. Shoot. Try again. Every time, my arrows sailed past the target. They didn’t even come close.
So Lisa didn’t like me after all. Just as a friend. That’s the worst phrase ever invented.
I squinted at the target. Pretend the target is every guy that can have Lisa, the quarterback and the track star and all those taller, smarter, cooler guys than me. I hated them all.
Bull’s-eye.