James had felt fine when he’d pulled up at Lucy’s on the morning of New Year’s Eve. He was going to tell her, he decided. He’d just splurge it all out and that would be that. But now, as she welcomed him in and poured him a coffee, his mouth was dry and his heart was hammering against his ribs. He took a seat and Lucy sat opposite him.
‘So, are you looking forward to tonight?’ she asked. There was a New Year’s Eve gathering in the village hall and she knew he planned to drop by with his father.
‘Yeah, I guess so, are you?’
Lucy nodded. ‘I’ve promised the kids they can stay until the bells. It’s their first time. They’re pretty thrilled about that.’ A pause settled over them. James could sense Lucy studying his face, as if she knew something was coming, and that he hadn’t just dropped by for a casual chat. ‘So, your Christmas went pretty well?’
‘Yeah.’ He nodded. ‘Better than I could have hoped for, really.’ He looked at her and smiled. ‘I’ve missed you lately.’
Well, he hadn’t planned to say that. Lucy smiled, cupping her coffee mug with both hands.
‘I’ve missed you too. Thanks so much for what you did – with the shed and Sam’s museum exhibits … it was so kind of you.’
‘That’s okay,’ he murmured. He inhaled and sipped his coffee, trying to muster the courage to say what he’d come to say. He looked at her. ‘Lucy,’ he started, ‘I want to say … I’m sorry.’
She frowned. ‘What on earth for?’
‘Um … look, I lied about something pretty major a long time ago. Not just to you,’ he added quickly. ‘I lied to everyone. Even the Linton kids – all my friends. It wasn’t just you.’
She met his gaze, as if waiting for him to go on. ‘What did you lie about?’
He cleared his throat, aware of Marnie and Sam chatting upstairs. He willed them to stay up there just a few minutes longer. ‘D’you remember,’ he started, ‘how I said my mum had died when I was six?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘Well, she didn’t. She left us because she’d fallen in love with someone else. But Dad was so distraught and humiliated, he said that was what we had to tell everyone, and we did. Rod and I stuck to the lie. It seemed so important to him.’
For a moment, Lucy just looked at him. There had been another flurry of snow overnight and everything was still and white and perfect. ‘So …’ Lucy hesitated. ‘She never tried to contact you or your brother?’
‘Not that I know of,’ he replied. ‘Even if she did, she obviously didn’t try very hard.’
‘And you’ve never thought of trying to contact her?’
James shrugged. ‘I’m starting to think I might do that. You know when we were talking about you sorting through Ivan’s things – and you said maybe you would, when the time was right?’
Lucy nodded. James could feel the thud of his heart. ‘Well, maybe it’s that time now for me.’
‘Maybe it is,’ she murmured. Then they were no longer sitting opposite each other across her kitchen table. She was up on her feet, and so was he, and she was hugging him. ‘Oh, James. I wish you’d told me. Why didn’t you say?’
He stood back and looked at her, stuck for words for a moment. Why hadn’t he said? ‘I didn’t know how,’ he replied, knowing how ridiculous that sounded.
‘You just had to say it,’ she said, squeezing his hand.
James nodded. And I needed to find the right person to tell, he reflected, turning to the doorway as Sam wandered in, saying a bleary hello to James and asking if pancakes might be possible.
It was the following Saturday when James arrived to pick up Lucy, Marnie and Sam. Lucy had been puzzled when he’d called the previous day, suggesting ‘a drive’, if they were free. ‘But where to?’ she’d asked.
‘It’s a kind of surprise,’ James had replied.
‘Can’t you give me a hint?’ She’d laughed.
‘Nope. No hints! You’ll just have to wait and see …’
Now he was drinking coffee in her kitchen while the children got ready upstairs.
Of course, Marnie and Sam wouldn’t settle for that, and now, in the back seat of James’s rather battered old car, they asked repeatedly where they were heading to – until Lucy had to ask them, firmly, to be patient.
‘We’re just going for a drive,’ James said, which made her smile. It sounded like something her mother would do or, more likely, demand to be taken on. But gradually, as they left the village behind, her curiosity started to niggle.
‘You can give me a clue, if you like,’ she said, throwing James a quick glance.
‘Sorry. No clues.’ James looked back at Lucy, and something stirred in her. She remembered clearly the first day she’d seen him, when they were nine years old. Suddenly, Burley Bridge had seemed full of promise.
They all fell silent now as he drove out into open countryside. ‘I was thinking,’ she murmured a few minutes later, ‘I would like you to help me to clear out the attic sometime, if it’s not too much trouble?’
‘Of course it’s not,’ he said. ‘I’d love to help. Just say when it suits you and we can get started.’ He indicated and made a turn off the main road.
Lucy frowned. ‘James … why are we going this way?’
‘I just want to show you something,’ he replied.
‘But …’ A small chill ran through her. There was nothing to see, and nowhere to visit on this road – just two hamlets, with no reason to go this way unless you lived here.
It was the road where Ivan had crashed. The one there was no reason for her husband to be on at all, unless …
James had slowed down now and switched on the radio, which did nothing to soothe Lucy’s growing anxiety. ‘James—’
‘Here we are,’ he said quickly. He indicated and turned into a gravelled area in front of a large, fairly modern detached house.
‘What are we doing here?’ Sam demanded as they all climbed out of the car.
‘Wait and see.’ James smiled, and now Lucy registered the sound of dogs barking. Lots of dogs.
‘What is this place?’ she asked.
James pointed at a sign next to the front door: Candy Bank Dogs Rescue Centre.
‘A dog rescue centre?’ She stared at him and grinned.
‘Are you getting a dog, James?’ Marnie exclaimed.
‘Not exactly, Marnie.’
‘James …’ Lucy started. ‘Please tell me what’s going on …’
He cleared his throat and indicated the neat side garden with its swing and rabbit hutch. ‘Marnie, Sam,’ he said, ‘could you guys play there, just for a couple of minutes while I talk to your mum?’
‘Okay,’ Marnie said, somehow managing to rein in her curiosity. ‘C’mon, Sam.’
As the two of them strolled over to investigate the hutch, James turned back to Lucy. ‘I’m sorry,’ he started. ‘Maybe I should have said. It’s just – Phyllida called me yesterday. She seems to know everything that goes on around here, and she told me about a new development that’s just been finished along the road here. It’s retirement flats. Well, sheltered housing, really – lovely apartments, with a resident warden and a garden. Just four of them, and one’s still vacant. I’m thinking about showing it to Dad.’
‘Oh … that’s fantastic,’ she said. ‘So, d’you think he might agree to sell up?’
‘We’ll need to figure it out,’ he said. ‘I hope he’ll be persuadable. He’d be a lot safer somewhere like this. Spike might be a bit disappointed that he won’t get to camp in his granddad’s garden, but—’
‘He could camp in ours,’ she said quickly. ‘He’s always welcome to do that, and my kids would love it.’
‘I’ll tell him that.’ He smiled.
‘I still don’t understand why we’re here,’ she added, feeling confused now.
James grinned and laughed. ‘This is going to sound crazy. I called the manager yesterday – I hope you don’t mind. It’s just, when I drove past on the way to those new flats, I saw this place and something just registered with me. About you, I mean. You and Ivan.’
She was about to ask why when the door opened and an older woman with long silvery hair, fringeless with a Seventies-style ponytail, stepped outside. ‘James?’ she said. ‘Come on in.’ She smiled broadly.
‘This is Lucy,’ he added.
‘Ah, Lucy Scott. I’m Melanie.’ A hint of something flickered in her eyes. Lucy was good at picking up signs like that, like when her guests wondered why she was running a B&B alone, but didn’t like to ask. She had become very perceptive.
‘How d’you know my surname?’ she asked as Melanie led them inside, through a neat waiting room and into a small office. The walls were adorned with posters of dogs; all the different breeds, and a map of the world to denote where they originated from. There were glass jars of dog treats on shelves, and a bunch of leads hanging from a hook on the door.
‘Lucy,’ Melanie said, indicating for them to sit down at the desk, ‘your husband came here, just over two years ago.’ She opened a red leather-bound diary on the desk and flipped through the pages. ‘Here we are. Ivan Scott, 8pm, 20th December.’
Lucy felt as if her heart had stopped. ‘What d’you mean? Why was he here?’
She looked around the room, then back at Melanie who was smiling now.
‘Well, he’d been here before he made this appointment,’ she said tapping the page, ‘and he’d chosen a dog he thought you’d all love. A little cocker spaniel called Bob. He was planning to come that evening to pick him up and take him to his new home.’
They went to get the children then, and Melanie led them all round to the back of the house where a low-rise building housed kennels, and dogs of all different breeds were lounging in baskets and on sofas or pottering around. ‘Are we getting a dog?’ Marnie exclaimed, tears springing instantly to her eyes. Lucy’s eyes were moist too as she looked at James.
‘I’m afraid Bob has been adopted,’ Melanie explained. ‘When Ivan didn’t turn up that night, I assumed he’d just changed his mind. People do that. They have second thoughts, a change of heart.’
‘Yes of course,’ Lucy said quickly. She gazed around. There were dogs of every imaginable colour and breed and she didn’t even know where to begin.
‘I’ll give you some time to get to know them,’ Melanie said. ‘All the dogs here are fine with children and very friendly. Ivan filled in all the questionnaires and forms, so unless your circumstances have changed—’
‘No, they haven’t changed at all,’ Lucy said quickly.
‘Then you’re already an approved adopter,’ Melanie said. Lucy grinned, lost for words. ‘I’ll be in the office if you need me, but do take your time.’
‘Thank you,’ Lucy said, turning to James when Melanie had disappeared through the back door. ‘And thank you. I can’t believe you thought of this, and made that connection!’
‘Hey, that’s okay.’ He smiled, looking around now as Marnie and Sam just stood and stared in wonderment, as if they couldn’t believe they were here. His hand brushed against Lucy’s, and she turned and looked at him.
James Halsall, the boy she had been in love with before she had known what love was, and who had lifted her heart again. She would never stop missing Ivan, but maybe she had found a different kind of love.
Maybe. Time would tell, and they had all the time in the world.
‘Mum?’ Marnie’s voice cut into her thoughts.
She turned and looked at her children. Even on Christmas morning, they hadn’t looked as happy as this.
‘Are we really getting a dog?’ Sam asked, staring up at her in delight.
Lucy smiled, catching James’s gaze again briefly as she answered, ‘Yes, darling, it looks as if we are.’