After practice that afternoon I went directly to the Magic Bean. I knew Ryan was working, and now that I had my prom tickets, I was dying to see his face. Dying to get another chance at that kiss so I could actually kiss him back. The last time I had completely frozen up in shock.
That was not going to happen again.
I walked in right behind Tracy Walkow and Donna Dumakis. They were so engrossed in their conversation, they didn’t see me, which was good. The last thing I wanted to do right now was get sucked into a wrist-corsage versus pin-on debate. I had bigger things on my mind.
“What? Like he’s not gonna get me a corsage at all?” Donna was saying with a laugh. “He’d better.”
I stepped around them and saw Ryan standing behind the counter chatting with Mitch. One look at him and I almost melted. I couldn’t believe that after all this time I actually had a shot with Ryan Corcoran. If he still wanted me, of course. That kiss had been days ago already. What if he regretted it?
Why would he regret it, moron? He kissed you, remember? I had to get a grip.
I snuck up from behind, so Ryan blocked Mitch’s view of me.
“Thank God I’m out of high school,” Ryan muttered to Mitch under his breath, glancing toward Donna and Tracy. “I hated all that superficial crap.”
My heart slammed into my shoes.
“Please. I didn’t even go to my prom,” Mitch said.
“Me either. No interest,” Ryan replied. “It was probably so lame.”
He picked up a bottle of water from the counter and turned around, lifting it toward his mouth. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me standing there. I must have looked stunned, because realization overcame his face, and he blushed.
“Noelle,” he said, lowering the water bottle.
Oh, God. I couldn’t believe I had been seconds away from asking him to my prom. How stupid was I? He was in college. He was in a band. Couldn’t I have figured out that he would have “no interest” in going with me? That he would think it was “so lame”?
At least I had stopped myself in time. If I had asked him and he had laughed in my face, I might have crumbled.
“Hi,” I said casually. I felt sick to my stomach. I grabbed his water bottle from him and chugged half of it down.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make fun of your prom,” he said quickly. “I know you’re probably going, and—”
“Nice one, genius,” Mitch sang behind him.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, waving him off. “Proms can be totally lame.”
Ryan looked a bit confused but managed to smile. “Yeah. So…what’re you doing here?” he asked. “You’re not on the schedule.”
Right. Good point. What was I going to do now?
“I know. I just…listen, I…I wanted to ask you something,” I said, my stomach twisting into nervous knots.
“What’s that?” Ryan asked. He smoothed his hair back with both hands, then crossed his arms over his chest. Totally smooth, confident, and sexy. How was it possible he actually wanted me?
Tracy and Donna finally approached the register. Mitch shoved us aside and went to help them, clearly sensing there was a matter of great importance going on over here.
“Uh, I wanted to see if you wanted to go out with me sometime,” I said in a rush. “To—I don’t know—dinner or something?”
My voice squeaked on the last word. I’d never asked out a guy before. I held my breath and waited.
“Yeah?” Ryan asked. His entire face lit up.
“Yeah,” I said, feeling as if I might collapse.
“Definitely,” he replied with a huge nod. “All right. Definitely.”
I had to laugh. Never in my life had I been so glad to have been completely misled about something. Ryan was not gay. We were going to go out on a date. I was going on a date with this beautiful, older, artistic, sweet guy.
Life could not be any better.
Trent was hanging out with his usual posse—all of them wearing serious expressions and even more serious message T-shirts—before the first bell the following morning. I took a deep breath as Aurora and I approached him from the parking lot. It was a totally gorgeous spring day, and the lawn was packed with people enjoying the sun as long as possible before getting cooped up in class all day. I, however, could not revel in the weather, knowing what I was about to do.
“Just let him down easy,” Aurora whispered to me as a light breeze tossed her short hair around.
“What do you think I’m gonna do? Go over there and tear his head off? I actually like the guy,” I told her.
“Then why are you doing this again?” she asked, eyebrows raised.
“Uh, hello? Ryan Corcoran?” I said.
“Oh, right. Say no more! Girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.” She glanced at Trent, who grinned the moment he saw me. “But I do not have to watch,” she added, distressed. She patted me on the shoulder for strength, then rushed inside, her long skirt swishing behind her.
“Traitor,” I muttered under my breath. I walked up to Trent, and he kissed me quickly on the cheek.
“Good morning!” he said, slipping an arm around me.
Could he lay on the guilt any thicker? Not that he knew he was doing it. I glanced around at his friends, who were chatting while another guy strummed his guitar.
“Trent? Could I talk to you for a sec?” I said, tilting my head. “Over here?”
“Sure,” he said, completely clueless. “Be right back, you guys.”
I walked toward the trees that lined the front path and paused. Trent smiled at me. I took a deep breath and ignored the nervous pounding of my heart. Better to get this over with. After all, I was going to have to do it a second time today. No need to drag out the drama.
“So, listen, I don’t think this is going to work out,” I told him.
Trent’s eyes narrowed. “What?”
“This,” I said, staring at him. “Us.”
He lifted his head slightly, surprised. “Oh.”
“I just…don’t think we’re that compatible,” I told him. “You’re all into your causes and old movies and everything, and I’m…not.”
“Oh. Right,” Trent said, blinking a few times as he took this in. He stared past me for a moment, then looked me in the eye. “Well, that’s okay. It’s actually probably better.”
“Better?” I asked.
Maybe I was breaking up with him, but was it wrong that his comment kind of offended me? Where was the heartbreak here? You’re the one who didn’t want drama, a little voice in my head reminded me.
“Yeah. I have a lot going on right now with the forest rally coming up and everything,” Trent told me. “I should probably focus on that. And, hey, if you don’t feel it, you don’t feel it, right?”
Oh, I’d felt it. Every time I kissed him I’d felt it. But that wasn’t enough to base a relationship on.
“Thanks for understanding,” I said with a smile.
“No problem,” he said. “I guess I should get back to my friends.”
“Yeah,” I said.
“Yeah.”
He nodded once, then turned and loped off. I took a deep breath and blew it out. One down, one to—
“You broke up with him.”
Oh, crap.
I turned around to find Zach standing right behind me, a cocky grin on his face. He stared at me knowingly, triumphantly.
“So, we’re going to the prom,” he stated.
I swallowed. Oh, man. This was not going to be pretty.
“Actually…” I said, wincing.
Zach’s eyebrows came together, but the smile didn’t falter. The idea of rejection was that foreign to him.
“Zach, I don’t think we should get back together,” I told him softly.
“What? But you just dumped the sop,” he said, gesturing at Trent and his friends over my shoulder.
“Shh! Don’t call him that!” I said through my teeth. Luckily Trent was too engrossed in conversation to notice.
Zach huffed a sigh. “Noelle, I don’t understand. Why did you break up with him if we’re not getting back together?”
Because that guy you were paranoid about who I told you was gay is not gay, and I think he might actually be the most perfect guy on earth?
Yeah. That would go over well.
“Because,” I said, struggling for words. “Because he’s not right for me either.”
Zach stared at me. “Oh. So I’m not right for you all of a sudden.”
My guts twisted at the hurt in his voice, but I couldn’t backtrack now. I’d made a decision, and I had to stick to it. “I’m sorry, Zach,” I said honestly.
“Fine.” His hazel eyes darkened, full of betrayal and shock as he backed away. “Have a nice…whatever.” He turned and stalked off.
I watched him go and felt a flicker of uncertainty in my stomach. Had I really just said no to Zach? The supposed love of my life?
God, I hoped I was doing the right thing.
But then I thought of Ryan and instantly, automatically, smiled. I trusted Ryan. I knew that he would never hurt me—at least not on purpose. Whatever the future held with Ryan, it had to be better than constantly arguing with Zach and feeling suspicious of him and Melanie.
I had to concentrate on myself right now. And that meant concentrating on Ryan.
A couple of nights later I was studying at my desk when my cell phone rang. I checked the caller ID, and when I saw Ryan’s number, my pulse raced. I grinned giddily and picked up.
“Hey,” I said, leaning back in my chair.
“Hi there.”
It was still so cool just to hear his voice on the other end of the line—something that never used to happen unless he was calling about work. I glanced out the window at the full moon in the sky and sighed as my heart pitter-pattered away. So this was what a relationship felt like at the beginning—warm and fuzzy and exciting and nervous. I had forgotten all about it.
“What’re you up to?” I asked.
“Not much. Listen, we said we were going to go out this Saturday, right?” he asked tentatively.
Something about his tone made my spirits droop, and I sat up a bit straighter. My fingers clutched the phone.
“Yeah?”
“Crap. That’s what I thought,” he said under his breath. In the background I heard a guitar wail and the screech of feedback.
“What’s going on?” I asked, my throat suddenly dry.
“Me and the guys just found out we made the semi-finals for the Showdown,” he said quickly. His voice dropped, and I could tell he was trying not to be overheard.
“The Showdown?” I asked.
“Yeah. It’s this competition they hold every year in the city,” Ryan told me. A door closed, and suddenly the background noise was gone. “It’s kind of a big deal. Actually, it’s a huge deal. Whoever wins is guaranteed a contract with a record label.”
“That’s amazing! Ryan, that’s really so great,” I said, trying my best to sound enthused. In fact, my heart was pretty much coughing and sputtering. “So, you want to cancel?”
“No!” Ryan said vehemently—so vehemently I almost jumped.
“No?”
“No. Definitely not. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to go out with you?” he asked.
Now I was full-on grinning. I was glad he couldn’t see me. “Okay, so…”
“So what do you think about coming into Chicago with me and the band?” he suggested. “You can watch the show, and then we’ll—I don’t know—grab a late-night snack or coffee or something. And then, hey! Maybe I can come to one of your matches next week.”
“One of my matches?” I asked.
“Yeah. I’ve been kind of wondering why you’ve never invited me to one. I’d love to see you in action.”
Okay. Now I was dizzy. How perfect was this guy?
“Right. We’ll have to, uh, do that. Your gig, I mean. And coffee. Cuz we currently don’t drink enough coffee,” I joked.
“Good point. Ice cream. We’ll get ice cream. Or pie!” he exclaimed.
He really was psyched to go on a date with me.
“I don’t care. We can get whatever,” I said with a laugh.
“So you’ll come?” he asked.
“Absolutely. Hey! It’ll be the first time I see you play!” I said.
“Sweet. It has definitely been too long,” he replied. “So I’ll pick you up at seven or so?”
“Sounds good,” I said.
We hung up, and I sat back in my chair, feeling completely content. A concert and a late-night something-or-other in the city? It sounded better than good. It sounded amazing.
I spun around on my chair and faced my closet door. Now for the details. What, exactly, did the date of the drummer in the band wear to his gig? I was drawing a total blank.
“Faith!” I shouted. “I need you!”
This was a decision that called for reinforcements.