The next morning was a painful wakeup. Not just because she’d had marathon sex with Aubrey for close to twenty-four hours straight, but the empty bed also reminded her that all of it had come to an end.
Cass rapped on her door. “We’ve got to be out of here by noon. You all ready?”
“Just grabbing my bags,” Selina said, finishing tidying up the room, like the time she’d spent in bed with Aubrey was some distant dream. In fact, with the bright sunlight streaming through the windows and the sounds of her roommates bustling around downstairs, that’s what it felt like.
Selina tossed on comfy clothes for the short drive back, choosing a pair of black shorts and a lacy gray tank top. She grabbed her suitcase and the red duffel bag she’d packed, skimming over the room in case she’d missed anything. The sheets were pin straight and the comforter smoothed down. The bed looked so different from the mess she and Aubrey had made of it while covered in sweat and panting. Every inch of this room now held memories of the woman, ones that would be hard to forget.
Selina should be mad at herself for the hurt and heartbreak sure to follow, but she couldn’t regret the time they’d spent together.
After Kat, she’d shut herself off from so much, hesitant to put herself out there for fear of adding more slices to her already bleeding heart. With Aubrey, the eventual separation would hurt, but she dove in anyway. That had been the push Selina needed to get back out there, forcing her to realize that even if she crash-landed, she’d survive.
Selina placed her palm on the brass knob and turned, exiting her room. She could hear Cass and Steph bickering in the kitchen, arguing about leftover pizza from Sal’s. A grin cracked Selina’s face. She might not have spent as much time with the girls as normal, but she couldn’t say she’d missed out on this vacation. The experiences with Aubrey were ones she’d carry with her for a long time to come.
Selina thumped down the steps and headed for the door. “I’m going to pack my car,” she called back. “I’ll be in to help with the rest.”
“Fine,” Steph called out, “but if you try to lay claim on these pizza leftovers, I’ll end you, Beckett.”
Selina snorted. “Not even a blip on my radar. Have at it, guys.” She headed out to the wicker-furniture-covered front porch, her throat squeezing tight. All she could see was the dozens of times Aubrey had made some excuse to interrupt her while she was reading. She’d been blind not to realize the banter between them would erupt in a fiery conclusion.
She strode down the steps toward her green Subaru and popped the trunk. Selina loaded the suitcases in one at a time, trying to stave off fears about the future, of the first time Aubrey tried to pick up someone in her bar and she’d be the bystander as always. She couldn’t keep clinging to fear as an excuse to hide away from the world though.
She heaved a sigh as she slammed the trunk down. Selina leaned against the back of her car and pulled out a cigarette, lighting the end. The first blissful drag of nicotine coursed through her.
A grunt sounded from the house next door. Kyle stepped into view, hauling a duffel bag over her shoulder as she brought it to rest on the back of a car. The redhead’s chin-length hair obscured her face from view a moment, but based on the slick of sweat along her arms, she’d been toting luggage for a bit.
Kyle glanced at her and grinned. “Last one.” She hooked her fingers through the belt loops of her jean shorts and sauntered over.
Selina sucked in another drag of her cigarette and let the smoke pour out, aiming it away from Kyle. The woman halted in front of her.
“So,” Kyle said, glancing at her feet. “You and Aubrey?”
Selina swallowed hard. Damn, this would be harder than she thought. “Yeah, for the trip only.”
Kyle let out a low swear. “That woman, I swear, I’m going to wring her neck. You’re the first person I’ve seen her open up to besides me and Sky, and the only one she’s expressed any romantic interest in.” Kyle glanced at her with an apologetic wince. “I’m sorry. I’m rubbing salt in the wound here, right?”
Selina shook her head, letting out another stream of smoke, as if she stood a chance at steadying her nerves. “I set the limit, not her. The situation with her mom had her in such a tailspin that I knew I’d never get the answer I wanted.” She shrugged. “I’m a big girl. I know how to pick up my own pieces.” Even as she said that, her heart throbbed with a choking intensity. The week she’d spent with Aubrey had illustrated everything she’d wanted in a relationship—the comfort of knowing how to respond, the constant teasing, and the genuine connection she’d searched ages for.
Of course she fell for the woman who could never commit.
“She never actually called it quits?” Kyle asked, her tone sharpening.
“None of the meddling shit,” Selina responded, arching a brow. “I set the limit to keep from being hurt more, not so I could linger on false hopes.”
“Right, right,” Kyle said, spearing her fingers through her strands. “She said her goodbyes last night before she darted home.”
“She was going to visit her mom in the hospital this morning,” Selina murmured. Even though they’d ended things, she couldn’t help worrying about Aubrey right now. The woman tried to toss on a tough exterior for everyone else, but it’d been clear to Selina from the first day of this vacation that Aubrey’d been hurting for a long while.
Kyle’s brows drew together. “Her mom? I thought she was out of the hospital.”
“Went back in again a few days ago,” Selina responded. Aubrey might not want them to know, but if Selina couldn’t be there, she could at least ensure her closest would be.
“Christ, I’m going to kill that woman,” Kyle muttered, scrubbing her face. “No wonder she’s been acting dodgy the past few days. There’s no way we’re leaving her to deal with that by her lonesome.” Kyle glanced at her. “Thanks, Selina. If I could ever get my best friend’s head out of her ass, I wouldn’t want to see her with anyone but you.”
Selina nodded, trying to ignore the shaky wave of emotion that crashed through her. She took a final drag from her cigarette and crushed it under foot. “Good luck, Kyle. I’ll see you next time you’re at Renegades.”
Kyle saluted her and jogged off toward her rental. Selina sucked in a breath of the salt air, wishing it could cleanse all the worries and doubts away. She knew she’d survive—she had to. But even now, her heart ached at the thought of Aubrey.
She’d never planned on falling, but somewhere between the first walk on the beach and the way Aubrey cracked her past wide open last night, it had happened.
She headed back up the steps to the porch, returning to help with the rest of the cleanup. Her heart ached, not with regret, but the loss of something so beautiful and powerful that she doubted she’d ever glimpse it again. With a swallow, she settled her hand on the doorknob.
Vacation had come to a close. Time to return to reality.