It is midmorning, Libya and Weegee are sitting at the kitchen table. Weegee is painting a birdhouse that Libya helped him build, using plans in a book he got out of the library. Libya is looking at his bird book.
“Tell me about those dogs who went to Texas, LeRon and JJ,” Weegee said, applying green paint to the roof of the birdhouse.
“LeRon and JJ? They got stopped by the Highway Patrol.”
“What happened?”
“LeRon was speeding. JJ said he should slow down, but LeRon thought he was already a bad dog gangsta. He told JJ, ‘Relax, you’ll live longer.’ And that’s when a Highway Patrol car pulled them over.”
“It’s a stolen car! You shouldn’t drive fast in a stolen car!” Weegee said.
She nodded. “LeRon doesn’t know anything but his front yard and watching TV. He just about peed on the seat covers when a big dumb highway patrolman walked up to the driver’s window—his hand on his gun, ready to shoot somebody like they always are—and told him, ‘Would you please step out of your veh-hickle. Sir.’”
“Oh no,” Weegee said, putting down the paintbrush.
“LeRon was so scared he almost jumped out the other window and ran off into a bunch of skinny pine trees.”
“He would of got shot for sure if he ran,” Weegee said, “and the highway patrolman would have said he saw him reach for a gun, then dropped a gun next to him.”
“But JJ growled at LeRon, real quiet, to shut him up, and bit his ear so quick that cop didn’t even see it, to calm him down. Then JJ says to that highway patrolman, real polite, but like he was scared too, ‘Officer, we sure glad to see you.’
“That highway patrolman looked at him like he was crazy and told him to put his paws on the dashboard where he could see them, and JJ did, right away, but he kept talking too, said, ‘Officer, my friend Spot here, he was driving fast because he was scared.’
“‘He’d better step out of the vehicle and do it now,’ the highway patrolman said.
“‘Officer,’ JJ said, ‘we just a couple of old working dogs, go to work every day and obey the law. And respect police officers too. Back at that last rest stop, we were in the pet area, when a man, I mean two men—I’m so scared I can’t hardly even talk—came out of the men’s room, and they both had guns. When they saw us doing our business in the designated pet area they laughed, and the one with the shotgun said to the other one, ‘Hey, ese, check out these mariposa little perros,’ then he laughed in a real bad way and yelled, ‘You ugly little perritos better find another place to pee.’ They both had gang tattoos all around their necks and down their arms, crosses and daggers and skulls.’
“‘And teardrop tattoos under their eyes,’ LeRon managed to add, ‘and the Virgin of Guadalupe on their chests.’
“JJ kicked him when he said that.
“‘The one with the shotgun had a pistol and holster just like yours, Officer. On his belt. I forgot to tell you,’ JJ said, making himself shiver, ‘they scared me so bad. And before they saw us the one with the pistol said something in Spanish and the other one said, ‘Fuck a bunch of cops. We already killed one cop,’ and slapped his hand on that pistol, just like yours, like the police carry to protect us, and said, ‘So a couple of perros won’t make any difference,’ and he pulled his gun and said, ‘You better run faster than that cop did.’
“LeRon got so excited at JJ’s story that he started barking,” Libya told Weegee, who started laughing too.
“‘And we got in our car and Spot here drove away as fast as he could. And that’s why we were speeding, Officer.’
“‘Back at that Red Rock Rest Stop?’ the highway patrolman growled at them.
“‘Yes, sir,’ JJ said, ‘and they might still be there.’
“So that highway patrolman ran back to his car, drove across a ditch, breaking off his muffler, and went roaring and backfiring the other way, lights and siren and everything else turned on, headed for the rest stop.”
“And JJ just made it all up!” Weegee said.
“He’s an ugly dog with those pop eyes and scrunched up little face, but he’s smart,” she said. “Then he told LeRon to head for Nevada, but drive the speed limit, and before long they were in Reno playing the nickel slot machines.”