CHAPTER 7 Savoring the “Hush”

These are the days in between. The liminal space that hovers beyond the festivities and before the fresh New Year. A time of long walks, hot coffees, languid lounging with leftover chocolates, adding birthday dates to the new diary, telephone catch-ups, old memories, new plans, making time, telling stories, everything on pause.

WRAPPING YOURSELF IN THE CLOAK OF LATE DECEMBER

Have you noticed that something very special happens between Christmas and New Year? For a few days, a portal to another world opens up. Everything is quieter, less rushed, gentler in this secret place. Peering through the doorway, I always imagine there will be snow, although the sky usually offers knitted fog and dull winter sunshine. Nevertheless, calm descends as we catch a glimpse of a slower life away from all the deadlines and to-do lists. I call this time the “Hush,” and I encourage you to savor it.

The hard work of Christmas is over for another year. There are no more cards to write or presents to wrap. New Year’s Eve is a few days away, and many people are still off work.

If you have the luxury of some time off, you can eat leftover Christmas pudding for breakfast. You can leave emails unanswered in your inbox and spend hours playing board games. You can go for a long walk through muddy fields, then sit in a country pub all evening telling stories. You can go to bed early, or stay up late and sleep in till noon. You can answer the door at three in the afternoon in your pajamas. You can spend all day in the kitchen, cooking up vats of leek-and-potato soup and hearty casseroles, allowing your mind to wander as you stir slowly. You can take a stroll by the sea and eat an ice cream on an empty beach. You can clean your house from top to bottom or ignore the mess. You can putter in your garden, meditating on the winter silhouettes. Or you can dream and scheme, plot and plan for the year ahead.

The Hush is a precious time. We face so much change in the course of an average year, in the wider world and in our own lives. We endure a barrage of headlines, political turmoil, social injustice, deadlines, hirings and firings, career shifts, health scares, births, marriages, deaths and breakups, house moves, and fluctuating friendship dynamics. It’s one thing after another, all coming at us with barely a moment to process any of it. Then we fling ourselves into festivities. It’s no wonder everything tends to catch up with us over the holidays, so it’s crucial to give ourselves the time and space to wind down, switch off, and relax.

Starting on December 26, there is a fleeting pause when time bends and magic hovers between the bookends of the season. The Norwegians call it romjul, from the old Norse, meaning “half-holy.”1 My friend Ingrid told me how much of Norway grinds to a halt between Christmas and New Year. She explained, “The shops are closed. There are days when you can’t buy booze. It’s all about friends and family. On our island, we go from house to house sharing buffets.” It’s not only half-holy but half-paced. “We must…” and “We should…” are abandoned in favor of “Shall we… ?” and “We could…” Spontaneity and softness become the order of the day.

If we keep the activity and volume levels high all the way to New Year, hosting a houseful of guests without a break, hunting out bargains in packed shopping malls or rushing back to work too soon, we miss a vital but rare opportunity to reflect and learn, honor and grieve, rest and recuperate.

Before marriage and children, I would often spend these days in an almost empty office, getting plenty done but feeling robbed of precious time. Now I take a complete break between Christmas and New Year, and encourage everyone on my team to do the same. No meetings or online classes are scheduled, and there is very little social media posting. It’s good for everyone.

January will be here before we know it, after all. So, instead of rushing towards it, let’s meander for a few days, giving our minds and hearts a chance to assimilate and process all that’s happened over the past twelve months. This is a wonderful time to nurture your own energy, marvel at nature, and recharge.

There are practical things you can do—and avoid—to make the most of these magical few days.

CARVE OUT TIME FOR YOURSELF

The Hush is one of my favorite times of the year. I set aside a day for myself, away from commercial noise and work pressure, so my brain can rest and my imagination run free. It’s both an escape from the real world and a glimpse of what that world can be.

There’s no right or wrong way to go about this, but you might want to try one of the following suggestions to enjoy some time for yourself.

A DAY IN NATURE

Although catching up on sleep can be beneficial, too much can have a jetlag effect when the time comes to resume your normal routine. So pause and rest by all means, but try to maintain a regular sleep pattern and get some exercise. A restorative, refreshing day in nature can work wonders in terms of brushing away the cobwebs and brightening your spirit.

There is a particular stillness in nature at the end of December—a stripped-back beauty that may seem bleak but actually conceals the first stirrings of new life. It can be deeply comforting to contemplate the circle of life and gain an understanding of the value of this pause for nurturing fresh growth in the spring.

According to Callum Saunders, features editor of Creative Countryside magazine:

The countryside is a wily and wonderful teacher, if only we make the time to stop and listen to its rhythms. To linger is to submit fully to the moment, free of distraction: an immersion that draws you beneath the surface of the obvious and breathes new life into your understanding of place, space and time.2

A DIGITAL DETOX DAY

Switching off your phone for twenty-four hours (or longer) can transform your state of mind.3 Try taking a break from emails, social media, and even phone calls, podcasts, and music, and notice the difference when you spend time being really present, paying attention to real-life conversations, and using all your senses as you move through the day.

If you find it difficult to keep your phone switched off, give yourself something to do. Go for a run. Do yoga. Bake bread. Read cookbooks. Take a bath. Drink a pot of warming tea. Sketch instead of taking photos. Write in your journal instead of keying notes into your tablet. When you feel a pull to check a device, observe the feeling, then let it go. Don’t succumb to it. After a while, the urge will fade and you will feel more closely connected to all that is going on around you, with a renewed sense of control over the pace of your day.

Combining this with time in nature will amplify your sense of well-being.

A DREAMING DAY

Visit a favorite café, journal in hand, for a day of dreaming. Watch the steam as it rises from your latte while rain drums on the window and you settle into the cozy room. Think of it as a safe place to be with your thoughts about all that is and all that might be.

Dream alone or with whoever shares your life. Let your mind run free on the page or have long, juicy conversations about what you love about your life right now… and what you’d like to change.

A CREATIVE DAY

I love to write during this time of year. In fact, I tend to start writing my books between Christmas and New Year. Set aside a day for something creative: painting, crafting, poetry, journaling, making music, calligraphy, cooking. Or you could sketch out a new garden design, draft a book proposal, or create a vision board. Try anything that allows you to use your creativity, and access the quiet place that lies beyond your noisy mind.

A SORT-OUT-MY-LIFE DAY

Since my early twenties, I have taken a full day near the end of each year to get on top of all the admin that gets in the way of everything else. I call it a sort-out-my-life day. It usually involves reams of paper spread all over the floor, endless cups of tea, a fair few sighs, some boring paperwork, and, ultimately, a tremendous sense of accomplishment.

Clearing the decks of all those annoying little jobs that you usually put off allows you to focus on more important—or enjoyable—matters as you enter the New Year.

A helpful by-product of this process is that you will often find ways to save money—or claim some back—which is always a blessing after Christmas.

The Hush is a great time to:

A SORT-OUT-MY-HOUSE DAY

Which camp are you in: the “every decoration must come down the day after Christmas” camp, or the “everything stays up until Twelfth Night (or longer)” camp? I veer between the two from year to year, depending on how early the decorations went up and how much I feel like I need a fresh start.

Either way, a sort-out-my-house day can be a wonderful way to declutter both your space and your mind. Here are some suggestions:

HOT CHOCOLATE AND HIBERNATION

It’s December 28 and I’m sitting in a low leather armchair at the local café. I am here to write and don’t mean to eavesdrop, but the coffee shop is tiny and the greetings warm and loud.

A ham sandwich on soft brown bread is my excuse for hanging around. French mustard and winter lettuce leaves from a local farm make the sandwich special, and I enjoy it with a pot of steaming tea. Later, perhaps I’ll treat myself to a mug of coffee, so I can linger a while longer.

There are seasonal hugs between the owners and the customers, ear rubs for damp dogs, handmade treats in brown paper bags tied with a Christmas ribbon and discreetly handed to the most loyal clients.

I overhear old friends sharing details of what they ate on Christmas Day—ham with figs, homemade stollen, roast parsnips to die for, and the best sloe gin you’ve ever tasted, apparently. Then a torrent of generous questions:

“I was thinking of you cooking turkey for fifteen. How did it go?”

“Did Elsie appreciate that wonderful photo album you made her?”

“Dinner tomorrow at our place?”

Closing time comes, but no one wants to head into the cold, so there’s a coffee shop lock-in. The laughter builds behind the steamed-up windows. The world is on hold.

This can be a wonderful time to connect with family and friends in a relaxed atmosphere, far away from the heightened expectations of Christmas. Here are a few ideas:

A MINI-BREAK

If winter is getting you down, a short break might be just the tonic you need. If this is appealing, consider departing from a small local airport and packing light to minimize stress.

If you love the idea but can’t afford to go, or don’t want the hassle of a long journey, try rediscovering your local area. Rent an Airbnb for a night or two and choose where to roam on a whim: pick a random place name or head for green space on the map. Take bikes, outdoor clothes and boots, and a notebook. Leave your alarm clock and to-do list at home.

How to Minimize Stress Between Christmas and New Year   Images

Where possible…

MULLED APPLE AND MEMORIES

This is the perfect time to reflect on Christmas. Taking stock while the festivities are fresh in your mind—either alone or with your loved ones—will give you a clear, accurate picture of what actually took place, so you can make any changes well in advance next year.

CALM CONTEMPLATION: REFLECTING ON CHRISTMAS

Either answer the following questions directly or use them as prompts to help your thoughts flow freely. Be specific and totally honest.