CHAPTER NINE

Jordon walked over to my house one afternoon, when I wasn’t expecting him. I’d had an exciting day planned, reading, and maybe taking a nap. I was glad to see him.

“I brought you some flowers,” he said, handing me a bouquet of daisies and dandelions.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Any plans?” he asked.

“None,” I said, smiling.

“How about going to the city?” he asked.

“Fine,” I said, and hollered to Marion that I wouldn’t be home for supper. Jordon and I got into my car. I still didn’t like the driving, but I wasn’t even sure Jordon knew how. It was one of those topics I didn’t bring up, because I didn’t want to know what the answer was going to be. It’s about a two-hour drive to the city, and most of it is superhighways. Traffic was light, and the radio was on, and I could think of worse ways to spend a weekday afternoon.

“We going any place in particular?” I asked about halfway in.

“To see some friends of mine,” Jordon said. “Just drop in on them. Then have supper.”

“You paying?” I asked.

“I’ll pay,” he said. “If you pay for gas and tolls.”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Sure,” he said. “I pay for gas and tolls and you pay for supper. Limited finances, my dear. I’ve explained it to you.”

“You certainly have,” I said. Jordon was limited to what he’d take from Jonny, which wasn’t much, and what he could steal from his mother’s pocketbook. Even I didn’t regard that as stealing, but there was only so much he could take without being suspected. That was the one thing I really respected about his parents. They were so united in their efforts against Jordon. Neither one of them was the least bit more softhearted. If his mother found out he was pilfering, she’d be just as angry as his father, and that would mean, if he was lucky, staying in for a week or two or a month. If he wasn’t lucky … but Jordon never finished that sentence.

“Pay for supper,” I said. “It’s my car.”

“Fair enough,” he said. “You are a just person, Paula.”

“Thank you,” I said. Love hadn’t entered into our conversations lately. I missed it. I wanted Jordon to say he loved me. I wasn’t sure why. I didn’t think I would do anything differently if he said it, but I couldn’t help wishing for it. Since he wasn’t bringing it up, neither was I, although I knew I loved Jordon.

“My birthday’s coming soon,” he said.

“Really?” I said. “When?”

“In a couple of weeks.”

“That’s nice.”

“No, not really,” he said. “But it means I’ll be getting some money. My grandmother always gives me money for my birthday.”

“That’s nice,” I said. “My grandmothers always give me clothes.”

“I like that. It shows they care enough to shop.”

“Handkerchiefs,” I said. “Until I was fourteen, and after that underwear. Fancy bra and panty sets.”

“You don’t wear a bra,” Jordon said.

“No kidding. I have the only grandparents in the world who give me propaganda for my birthday.”

“They want you to be straight and respectable?”

“It’s their ambition,” I said. “Funny, considering my parents. I mean they’re respectable, but not the way my grandparents would want.”

“How come your father got all the money and not his mother?”

“My father’s parents were divorced,” I said. “So my grandfather left Dad everything. Grandma doesn’t need it anyway. How much will your grandmother send you?”

“Twenty-five dollars probably. Enough for the movies a couple of times and maybe even dinner out.”

“I’m dazzled.”

“You should be,” he said. “It’s the only good thing about my birthday.”

“You don’t like them?”

“I hate them,” he said. “Who needs an anniversary of a disaster.”

“You’re not a disaster,” I said, and I would have kissed him except I was going sixty. “We’ll do something nice for your birthday.”

“I’d like that,” he said. “If my grandmother didn’t send me money, I wouldn’t even remember it, but she does, so I do, and I get very depressed. I’d like a birthday when I wasn’t depressed.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” I said.

“Thanks,” he said.

We drove for a while in silence, and then I said “What friends?”

“What?” Jordon asked. He was looking out the side of the window. It always bothered me when he did that. He looked like he was figuring the odds of jumping out and escaping.

“Who are we going to see today?”

“Oh,” he said. “A girl I know. Evie. And whoever else is around there.”

“You know her from school?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I think you’ll like her. You have a lot in common.”

“Like what?” I asked, because as far as I knew, Jordon didn’t know anything about me. I kept meaning to do something about that, giving him an indoctrination course in the life and times of Paula Ann Rickarts, but somehow the subject never came up. That was another reason why I knew I loved him. With anyone else I would have been furious.

“I don’t know,” he said. “It was a foolish thing to say.”

“All right,” I said.

“She’s very nice,” he said after a pause. “And her hair is brown.”

I laughed. “We’re bound to hit it off,” I said. “With all that in common.”

“Have I thanked you for this summer?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Recently?”

“Yesterday.”

“I just wanted to make sure,” he said, and resumed looking out the window. I started singing along with the radio.

“Don’t do that,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Singing. I like that song, and you can’t sing.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t realize I was doing it.”

“You were, and you ruined the song.”

“It’ll be on again,” I said. “They’ve played it four times in the past hour.”

“And I liked listening to it all four times,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” I said again.

“All right,” he said. “No point making a fuss over it.”

“There certainly isn’t,” I said.

“I like the song,” he said defensively.

“I gathered that.”

“And there isn’t that much in the world I like that I want it spoiled.”

“How often do I have to apologize?” I said. “I promise never to sing again.”

“You don’t sing very well.”

“I never said I did.”

“Evie has a nice voice.”

“Great,” I said. “When we get there, we’ll ask her to sing.”

“I was just trying to tell you something about her. I thought you wanted to know about her before we got there.”

“Jordon,” I said, but there was no point trying to explain. “You’re right. I do want to know. Evie sings. Does she dance too?”

“No,” he said. “Does she have to?”

“Of course,” I said. “It’s compulsory.”

“You made it sound like it was.”

“Some people who can sing can dance too,” I said. “And then they go into show business and become stars.”

“Shut up,” he said.

We drove the rest of the way in silence. I hated Evie before I even met her.

Meeting her didn’t make me feel better. Jordon was right about her brown hair, but his description had stopped there. Evie was one of those beautiful people that I will never feel comfortable with. She just stood there, staring at Jordon and me, and radiated beauty. I felt like a country cousin beside her, even though we were wearing practically identical shirts and jeans. There was something more sophisticated about the way she wore hers. It wasn’t a friendly beauty either. It was a very imposing beauty and it scared me.

“Jordon,” she said, and from the way she said it and looked at him, then me, I realized she was no old friend Jordon just felt like seeing.

“Hi Evie,” he said, and he gave her one of his smiles. I tried smiling but my mouth was in no mood to cooperate.

“Come in,” she said, and I decided entirely on my own that the invitation included me. From the way it looked, Jordon and Evie had no intention of introducing me, so I decided to myself.

“Hello,” I said. “My name is Paula Rickarts. I drove Jordon in.”

“I’m Evie Small,” she said.

“I wanted to see you,” Jordon said.

“Great,” she said. “Why didn’t you take a train?”

“I couldn’t afford one,” he said and I giggled, out of nervousness. Evie smiled then, and I felt better. At least Jordon was as cheap with his old girl friends as he was with his new ones.

“Sit down,” she said. “Would you like something to drink?”

“No thank you,” I said, and chose what looked like the least comfortable chair. I knew I wasn’t going to be comfortable there, anyway, and maybe if my body hurt too I’d get us out faster.

“Jordon?” she asked.

“No thanks, Evie,” he said. “How are you?”

“I’m all right,” she said. “How’s your summer been?”

“Not bad,” he said. I scowled. “I’ve been home.”

“Yes I know,” she said. “I thought you might call.”

“I can’t,” he said. “My parents check the long-distance calls.”

“Your parents would,” she said.

“Have you met them?” I asked. I hadn’t yet, and I was dying of curiosity.

“No,” she said. “Jordon doesn’t display them.”

“They’d only fit at a freak show,” he said.

About the last thing I wanted to do with Jordon and his old girl friend was sit around and discuss his family, so I looked for a different topic.

“I like your apartment,” I said.

“Thank you,” she said. “I’ve been here a couple of years now.”

“You must be older than Jordon,” I said.

“And you must be younger,” she said.

I decided to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the day.

“I had to see you,” Jordon said. “I’ve been missing you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” she said.

I looked at the apartment. We were in the living room. It consisted mostly of scatter pillows and loose records, but it had a comfortable feeling to it, I suspected. Right then I was too miserable to respond to it. There was a small hallway and I decided there was a kitchen there, and possibly a bedroom. There was no bed in the living room. I was tempted to explore. I was also tempted to leave, and let Jordon hitch home. I sat still.

“What have you been doing?” Jordon asked.

He was a whole different person, I thought, when he was with Evie. He never asked me what I was doing.

“Nothing much,” she said. “Taking a couple of classes.”

“See much of anybody?”

“As much as I want to see.”

“Well,” I said, because even my voice was better than silence, “I suppose you could talk better if I wasn’t here, so I guess I’ll go.”

“No,” Evie said. I wished Jordon had said it.

“Stay,” Jordon said. “We can talk in front of you.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I’ve always wanted to be talked in front of.”

“Jordon’s not much for manners,” Evie said.

“He certainly isn’t,” I said, right at her. “His brother Jonny’s much nicer that way.”

“You’ve met Jonny then,” Evie said.

“Yes,” I said. “I met Jordon through Jonny.”

“I envy you,” she said. “I’ve heard so much about him, I hardly believed he existed. I guess he does though.”

“Oh he’s real, all right,” I said. “Very nice person. Quite attractive.”

“I pictured him that way,” Evie said. “Quiet but strong.”

“He’s quiet,” I said. I wasn’t sure about the strong. “Very agreeable though. One of the nicest people I’ve ever met.”

“Stop it,” Jordon said.

“Jordon,” Evie said. “You bring a stranger to my house and we finally find something to talk about and then you tell us to stop.”

“No,” I said, because much as I wanted to hurt Jordon, I didn’t want to do it with Evie. “Jordon’s right. There must be better things to talk about.”

“I suppose,” Evie said. “Hot enough for you?”

“It’s hot,” I agreed.

“Evie, cut the crap,” Jordon said. “Paula, why don’t you go for a walk?”

“Because I don’t want her to,” Evie said. “Paula, why don’t we go into the kitchen and see what we can do for supper.”

“Paula and I are having dinner out,” Jordon said.

“That sounds lovely,” Evie said. “Am I invited?”

I wanted for Jordon to say no. Instead he said, “I don’t know. What do you say, Paula?”

“No,” I said. “I’m sorry,” I said, and gave Evie my best smile. “But you know how he is. If he has to pay for all of us, we’ll end up washing the dishes.”

“You’re right,” Evie said. “He never has enough money.”

“Evie,” Jordon said, and there was so much in that “Evie” that even though I wanted to kill him, I felt sorry for him.

“I’m sorry, Jordon,” Evie said. “But you can’t pull this on me.”

“But I had to see you.”

“I don’t mind that,” she said. “There are times I feel I have to see you too. But not like this. Not with some new girl sitting here.”

“I’ll leave,” I whispered, but they were beyond hearing me.

“There was no other way,” Jordon said.

“Of course there was another way,” Evie said. “You probably don’t realize it though. There are an awful lot of things you don’t realize, Jordon. That’s always been a problem.”

“I love you, Evie,” he said.

“Not now,” she said. “It’s not fair.”

“I’ll go then,” he said. “Come on, Paula.”

I got up, feeling like a fool. “It’s been nice meeting you,” I said.

“Yes,” Evie said. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” I said. “Maybe we could have lunch sometimes, and swap notes.”

She smiled, and I felt better. “I’d like that,” she said, and even though I knew we never would, at least I didn’t feel so young and stupid. “Good-bye, Jordon.”

“Evie,” he said and left. I followed him out.

“Well,” he said, as we stood outside. “That was one wasted afternoon.”

“You didn’t have anything better to do,” I said.

“Did you like her?”

“Of all the irrelevant questions,” I said.

“It’s not irrelevant,” he said. “I want to know if you like her.”

“What difference does it make?” I asked. “What difference does anything make?”

“I thought you’d like her.”

“And that’s why you made me drive you here, I suppose. To introduce two people who might like each other.”

“It was a factor,” he said.

“I liked her,” I said. “Meeting her brightened my entire week. I can hardly wait to go home and tell everyone about her. As a matter of fact I’m so eager I’m going to get into my car right now and drive home just so I can tell everybody about my exciting afternoon. You can take a train back. You have the money.”

“No, I don’t,” he said.

“What about the money for our supper?”

“I didn’t have it,” he said. “I figured you’d pay for it.”

“And what if I didn’t have the money either?”

“Oh come on, Paula,” he said. “You always carry money.”

“I hate you,” I said.

“Drive me home,” he said. Not knowing what else to do, I did.