CHAPTER FOUR

 

 

Ethan looked up as soon as he felt the shudder of hoofbeats heading his way.

“Rob’s coming,” Jamie said. “Looks like he’s got Cab with him.”

Ethan turned his back on the approaching horsemen and returned to resetting a fallen fencepost in its hole. He welcomed the chore today as a chance to get out into open country and think about his situation. He didn’t need Rob around to taunt him, as well.

“Get any sleep?” Rob hollered as he rode up on his chestnut quarter horse, Monty.

Ethan didn’t answer. He hoped Rob would get the message and keep on riding, but Rob being Rob, it didn’t happen that way.

“Did you sleep at all? I bet the springs in that mattress of yours got quite a workout.” He made creaking noises until Ethan stood up and fixed him with a glare. Cab kept quiet, but he could tell he was working hard to suppress a smile.

“Stow it.”

“Come on, admit it – we picked you a good wife, didn’t we? So, you gonna keep her or are you putting her back on that plane?”

“I’m putting her back on the plane.”

Rob scratched his neck and made a show of looking around. “This don’t look like no airport, buddy. She’s going to miss her flight.”

“She’s not leaving today.” Suddenly he found it hard to look Rob in the eye. Jamie stood up from where he’d been running a new wire, and came closer.

Cab cocked his head. “She’s leaving but she’s not leaving?”

“Let me get this straight,” Rob drawled. “You dumped her, and she decided to stick around for a visit?” He felt Rob’s assessing look. “Oh, I get it. You haven’t told her yet, have you? You figure you’ll keep her around for a few days, bang her a few more times, and then let her down easy. Real smooth, cowboy.”

“That’s not how it is at all.” Damn it, couldn’t a man get a moment to think things through before people came poking around and telling him what’s what? Jamie had the good sense to keep his mouth shut all morning – too bad Rob couldn’t be like him. “I’m not going to keep banging her.” Shit. That didn’t come out right.

All three men laughed. “I knew you’d had a good roll in the hay last night,” Rob said. “Hell, the two of you were practically hitting home base in the truck. So, how was it?”

“Get the hell outta here.”

“No. I’m not done with you yet. Look, you like Autumn. She’s hot, she likes you, she wants everything you have to offer. Why the hell would you send her home?”

“Seems kind of stupid to me,” Jamie put in. Even Cab was nodding.

He stifled the urge to kick the fence post. No sense having to do the job over twice. “I’m not sending her home right away.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I’m going to slow this down. I’m going to try to get to know her like normal people do before I jump back into the sack with her.”

Rob cocked his head. “Get to know her? Buddy, I think you got to know her pretty good last night. Just how do you plan to get to know her better?”

Ethan turned back to his work. “I don’t know. Move her into the spare room, set some ground rules.”

More laughter all around.

Rob urged his horse forward. “You think you can put her in the spare room and pretend you two just met? Ain’t going to work. I bet you ten to one you’re back in the saddle with her tonight. Hell, probably before lunch. Don’t forget, you two are getting married in 29 days. I’ve already booked the chapel.”

“What do you mean, you booked…”

Cab leaned over his saddle. “We got lucky. Some out of town couple canceled for June 21st. Hell of a coincidence, eh?”

“Coincidence, my ass,” Ethan said. He couldn’t believe Rob had persuaded the normally sane sheriff to be a part of this farce. “Don’t you all think this joke has gone too far?” He looked from one to another of his friends’ much too cheerful faces.

“You saying you want us to take her to the airport today?” Jamie said slowly. “Because if you’re that sick of her I’m more than willing to take her off of your hands.”

Just like that, Ethan saw red. He took a step forward. “You stay away from her!”

They were laughing at him again before he even managed to spit the words out.

“Admit it, Ethan – you’re hooked on her,” Rob howled.

Ethan shook his head and went back to work.

 

 

* * * * *

Autumn hoped like hell she was pulling the weeds and not the vegetables. Regardless of what she’d said in her video, she’d never really gardened, unless you called repotting a begonia now and then on her apartment’s balcony gardening. Luckily, it was far enough into the growing season that the plants looked like plants. She’d already gotten through two rows of the large kitchen garden and was partway through a third when hoofbeats pounded up behind her and she scrambled to her feet.

Brushing the dirt from her knees, she shaded her eyes and was surprised at the dip of disappointment in her stomach when she realized it wasn’t Ethan, but one of his friends – Rob.

“Howdy!” he said, pulling up a few feet from the garden.

“Howdy? Do people really say that?”

“Yes, Ma’am, they do.” Most women would call Rob handsome, but something about him set her teeth on edge . When he and Ethan talked, tension ran between them like an electric fence. Something was wrong between them, so the fact he’d come to visit when Ethan was out put up her guard. He slid from the saddle and tossed the horse’s reins to the ground.

“Won’t he run off?”

“No, Ma’am, not Monty.” Rob smiled and came closer. “Just talked to Ethan. Sounds like you two had a hell of a night.”

She felt the heat rise in her cheeks. Ethan had been bragging to Rob? Just what had he said?

“Oh, he didn’t share the details,” Rob said as if reading her mind. “I inferred them from the glazed look in his eye and a certain hitch in his step.”

Now she was really blushing. Damn it, who was this cowboy to stand here and talk to her like this? “Is there anything I can do for you?” She hoped the chill in her voice would back him off. She was enjoying her time in the garden and didn’t really appreciate the interruption. She’d spent several hours wandering in ever-widening circles around the grounds and taken dozens of photographs with her digital camera of the landscape, the distant river and mountains, and the various buildings on the property – especially the pretty big log house that sat on a rise of land just a few hundred feet away. Ethan’s real home, she assumed. The one he’d lived in before his parents died.

“Nah, this is just a social call. We westerners are mighty social, you know. It gets lonely working on these big spreads, so we like to mix things up. Visit each other. Ask each other in for a drink of lemonade and a slice of cake.” He trailed off, obviously waiting for his invitation.

Well, he wasn’t getting one. Regardless of his over-friendly tone – actually, because of it – she had the feeling Rob was looking for trouble. Probably thought she was easy, coming out here and hooking up with a stranger her first night in town. Maybe he thought he could get lucky, too. Or maybe he somehow sensed her scam, she thought with a sudden chill. Maybe he was here to investigate.

“Look. I don’t know you from Adam and I’m not inviting you inside for a piece of…cake. Why don’t ride on into the sunset and let me get back to work.”

“Whoa, honey, I think you’ve misunderstood my intentions. I’m just trying to help things between you and Ethan along. I think the two of you are a match made in heaven. I’m not trying to rustle his cattle.”

She didn’t know what part of that declaration to take offense at first. “Okay, first of all, I’m not a cow. I’m a woman, in case you haven’t noticed. Second, what do you mean you’re trying to help things along? What exactly needs helping here? He put out a video, I answered it. Here I am. Here I’m staying. We’ll be married in a month.” She put her hands on her hips and tried to look like an aggrieved fiancée.

“Slow down. I never called you a cow. I am definitely aware you are a woman. I think every man in the county is aware of that.” He smiled in a way that made her squirm. “As for you and Ethan, you’re exactly right; he put out an ad and you answered it. Heck, we’ve even booked the chapel for the 21st. But whether you actually get married is up to you, isn’t it? Ethan’s got 29 days to change his mind. If I were you, I’d put some thought into how to keep him on track, and while tending the garden is all well and good, I’d spend some time tending…Ethan…if you know what I mean.”

They’d booked the chapel? She only spared a moment on that unsettling tidbit before moving on to the next thing Rob said. Tending Ethan? Ethan changing his mind? “What did he say?” The thread of fear in her voice was no act. If Ethan was losing interest, she had no story. She needed the whole shebang – the back story, the courtship, the ring, wedding preparations…

“He likes you, honey. He really does. But he thinks you want to take things slow. He said he got the impression you wanted to move into the guest room and go back to holding hands until you get to know each other better. And that’s not what he asked for in his video, is it? He asked for a wife. You don’t win a man like Ethan through conversation. You win him through his stomach and his…well, you know. Food and sex. That’s what counts.”

He climbed back into the saddle and turned Monty around. “He’s in the south pasture. Take the truck – keys are in the ignition – and follow that track.” He pointed. “Head out a couple of miles. You can’t miss it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Food and sex!” Rob hollered back at her as he urged Monty into a gallop. “You’ll figure it out!”

 

 

* * * * *

Ethan was gathering his tools up when he heard the sound of a truck’s engine. A familiar engine. What the hell? That was his Ford F-250 inching its way along the track toward him. A sudden lurch of fear had his heart beating double-time. Was something wrong with Autumn? Was she hurt?

Did she want to leave?

He forced himself to wait while the truck slowed to a halt and the engine died. Jamie had returned to the barn to care for the horses, Cab needed to get to work and he assumed Rob had gone to work with his father and brothers on his own spread, though he hadn’t said anything specific. The door opened and one long, bare leg appeared, then another. Autumn slid to the ground and smoothed her form-fitting flowered cotton sundress down. “I brought a picnic,” she called, and hauled a basket down from the truck heavy enough to nearly unbalance her. She held it with two hands and made her way over to him.

He couldn’t take his eyes off the button between her breasts or the expanse of skin above it. Was she wearing anything under that dress? It didn’t look like it.

“Where should we eat?” She planted her feet in front of him and leaned back to counterbalance the weight of the basket, looking at him expectantly.

“Uh…” Damn it, man, pull yourself together. He pointed to an pine tree that offered some shade from the heat of the midday sun. “How about over there?” He had the presence of mind to take the basket from her - hell, what was in there – bricks? – and led the way. She caught up with him after a couple of steps and slid her hand into his.

That one small gesture nearly undid him. He found his own fingers tightening around hers and a smile creeping across his face that he quickly squashed. They were supposed to be slowing things down – getting to know each other like normal people.

Normal people held hands, didn’t they?

Sure, but his reaction to her touch was anything but innocent.

When they reached the tree, Autumn took the basket back, set it down and opened the lid. Ethan felt like he’d entered a dream as she spread out a blanket and pulled out dish after dish. She set two places with a couple of chipped china plates, and cloth napkins she’d found who knew where. She’d brought fried chicken, sandwiches, pickles, chips, hard boiled eggs, potato salad, even a homemade peach cobbler. She poured a glass of lemonade and handed it to him.

“I thought you might be starving out here.”

“Thanks.” Was that his voice? He was starving, all right, but it wasn’t food he needed.

He sat down just the same and ate his fill, noticing she was watching him from under her lashes. She seemed nervous, plying him with food every time there was room on his plate, refilling his glass before he could empty it. She barely ate or drank a thing.

“What’s wrong?” he asked finally. She was making him nervous, too. What if this was some kind of last supper – a little treat before she dumped him and asked for cab fare back to the airport?

“Nothing, I just…Ethan, are you happy I’m here?”

He placed a chicken leg back on the plate. “Yes. Why?”

“It’s just…I don’t know. I came all the way here, and we had a good time last night, and then you just left…I didn’t know if you’d gotten sick of me already.”

“Sick of you?” He shook his head. “No. Of course not. This is a ranch, honey – the work here doesn’t take a holiday.” He wished it would. Lord knew, he could spend all day exploring Autumn’s body, making sweet love to her until…

She hesitated, her fingers in her lap worrying each other until he wanted to reach across and take both of them in his. “You’re sure you’re not sick of me?”

“No. Definitely not.”

She took a breath, looked up at him and said, “Prove it.”

Ethan’s eyebrows shot for his hairline. “Prove it?” Damn, stop repeating what she says, you sound like an ass! “How?”

He held his breath. Here’s where her true motivations would show themselves. Maybe she was like his mother, all wrapped up in material possessions. Watch, she’d ask him to buy her that ring he’d promised her and when he took her to town she’d pick the biggest rock in the place.

“Make love to me.”

At first he didn’t understand her words. He’d been so prepared for disappointment he was already forming the phrases to let her know he couldn’t be bribed with peach cobbler to buy her with jewelry, and Autumn’s simple plea didn’t even register. She said it again.

“Ethan, please make love to me.”

With a growl of pure, primordial desire, he swept away the dishes, swooped her into his arms and laid her down on the blanket. He had to stop for a moment and take in the vision of this beautiful woman flushed with wanting him, waiting for his kiss, his touch. She’d cooked all morning and come out here to find him with the sole objective of seducing him, he realized. He felt like the cares of the world had been lifted off of his shoulders. She wasn’t anything like Lacey, or his mother. She wasn’t hiding anything, she didn’t have any ulterior motives. She wanted him for him and she wouldn’t make him seek or beg or wait for her love. She would give it to him freely – more than he’d ever hoped for.

“Autumn.” It was all he could say. Then he was kissing her, the fire between them scorching his lips. He felt her arms slide around his shoulders and her breasts pressing against his chest and his ardor heightened, until he had to get closer.

She must have felt the same, because she slid a palm up his chest and broke their kiss. “Wait.” She gently pushed him back, then slowly, ever so slowly, began to undo the buttons of her dress.

As he’d suspected, she wore nothing beneath it. She spread the panels of fabric, exposing the beauty of her body to him, and he couldn’t help but worship it. First with his hands, running them up and down, from her breasts, to her hips, to the warmth between her legs, then with his mouth, tracing passages up and down her curves and dips, landing finally where it could do the most good.

She arched in pleasure as he found her secret folds and teased and stroked her to heights that had her moaning aloud. Then, when he couldn’t stand it anymore, he pushed himself into position above her and waited for her assent.

“Wait – just a second.” She reached out blindly, patted her cast off dress until she found a pocket and pulled out a small packet. A condom.

Of course. Good thing one of them was thinking straight today. They barely knew each other – certainly not well enough to have unprotected sex, no matter what they’d gotten up to last night. He had the package open and the condom on in a matter of moments, and she pulled him close again, guiding him into her, opening herself to him and crying aloud as he thrust himself inside her and joined them as one.

 

* * * * *

With a cry of animal desire that shocked her as much as it thrilled her, she gripped Ethan’s hips and urged him inside her. When he answered with a powerful thrust it was all she could do not to give herself up to oblivion right then.

She wanted more, though – much more. She didn’t think she’d ever get enough of this man who filled her and set her on fire. If she’d known sex could be like this she’d have been combing Montana years ago, searching for her cowboy. New York would never be the same when she went back.

All thoughts rushed from her mind as Ethan’s strokes brought her closer and closer to the edge. The male scent of sweat and leather, the softness of the blanket and hard, lumpy ground beneath her skin, blue sky and sunshine peeking between far overhead boughs all merged together in a blinding flash of heat and light as she swept over the edge of desire and into the abyss of ecstacy.

As they lay panting, entwined, Autumn’s senses came back to her with a snap and with them came uncertainty. What kind of a person was she, using sex to secure a story? Maybe Ethan wasn’t handing over cash, but she depended on her writing for a living, so in a way she was still trading sex for money as if she were a prostitute.

Although, if she was truthful, the story was the last thing on her mind right now. She tried to take a mental step back. What if there was no job on the line, what if she’d just met Ethan through friends or at a bar or party? Would she still be here, making love to him under the sun?

Yes. Oh, hell yes.

The answer came as clear as day, and with it an even greater sorrow. Because she couldn’t have feelings for Ethan. He was nothing but a story to her, and in less than a month she had to get on a plane and leave for good. Once the story was published, there was no going back. He wouldn’t want her then.

Ethan rolled off her and spooned her into an embrace. “Autumn, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He nuzzled her neck and breathed a contented sigh. For a few moments there was silence between them as they both gazed up at the blue sky winking in and out between the boughs of the pine. Then he whispered, “Autumn. Will you be my wife?”

She held her breath. Oh my God, was that a real proposal? In a flash she saw the month ahead, the ring, the congratulations, the parties, the preparations, the dress, the wedding…

No, not the wedding. She would leave before the wedding.

He was offering her everything she needed for this story – all the details she could use to write the kind of attention-getting, sexy, catty, zinging expose CityPretty demanded for its feature articles. As soon as she saw Ethan’s video want ad for a bride, she knew she could use it as the basis for a scathing editorial on the lengths men would go to get exactly what they wanted.

So why was she hesitating? What had her boss told her time and time again? You can’t be a journalist and have feelings – not when you work for a magazine like CityPretty. You have to go for the jugular, do what it takes to get the killer headline. Be ruthless! Feelings are for social workers.

“Autumn? Will you marry me?” Ethan asked again.

She took a breath.

“Yes.”

 

* * * * *

Ethan waited while Autumn finished snapping photos of the partially weeded garden, the picnic basket sitting on the back steps – she fussed a little about not having any shots of his proposal, but agreed with him it was for the best since they were both in their birthday suits – and the mess she’d left in the kitchen when she’d raced off to find him. Together they washed up and straightened the kitchen and then he took her hand.

“Ready to go pick out that ring?”

She nodded hesitantly.

“You don’t look so sure. Changed your mind already?” A stab of fear pierced his heart. He hoped she hadn’t.

A small smile touched her lips. “It’s not that, it’s just…it feels weird, you spending money on me. It doesn’t seem right. You hardly know me.”

“I know I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you.” A new thought struck him. “You know that, right? Marriage for me is forever. I don’t do divorce.”

Her eyebrows rose, delicate swoops of brown he longed to kiss. “I know. I feel that way, too. It’s just…I don’t want you to feel like you have to…buy things for me.”

Her discomfort was plain to see and he wondered what had happened in the past to make her so hesitant to take a gift from a man. “Sweetheart, it’s my job to take care of you now. I’m going to be your husband. I will spend the rest of my days making sure you have a roof over your head, food in your stomach and pretty clothes and jewelry to wear. There may be hard times now and then, and I may not be able to give you everything you want, but I will do my damnedest to see you right.”

Her mouth fell open a little, and he was torn by the desire to kiss those soft lips and tear the man limb from limb who made this woman so shocked that someone might want to lighten her load.

“Come on, we’re going to get you the prettiest ring you ever saw. Nothing but the best for my girl.” He pulled her along out to the truck and had a sudden flash of understanding about his own parents. No wonder his father had put up with his mother’s spending without a fight. He’d loved her to distraction – he’d wanted her happy, and so he did whatever it took to make sure she stayed that way, even if it meant mortgaging the ranch to the hilt.

Speaking of which.

Ethan realized in a rush of panic that he didn’t have the money to buy a fancy engagement ring. What the hell was he thinking? As Autumn strapped herself into the passenger seat of the truck, he walked around to the driver’s side slowly, cursing the amnesia that seemed to hit every time he was within five feet of her. Hell, he’d dug himself a good hole, hadn’t he? He opened the door, climbed in, stuck the key in the ignition, and tried to breathe.

His credit cards were maxed out. He had barely enough cash to pay the bills until the next cattle sales went through. All his high-falutin’ words about caring for Autumn and keeping her in house and health swirled in his mind. Empty promises. He was one flat tire away from going bankrupt himself.

What the hell was he going to do?

“Forget something?” Autumn said when he didn’t start the truck.

“What? Yeah…yeah, I did. Hold on.” He grabbed the excuse she handed him gratefully, hopped back out of the truck and retraced his steps to the house. Back inside the kitchen he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Rob.

“Rob. I need five thousand dollars. Now. For the ring, you rich sonofabitch. Move the money into my account. You have half an hour. Don’t give me that – you’re the one who booked the chapel, remember? Now I have to buy Autumn a ring. Yeah, so what if I like her; it’s still your fault.”

He hung up, knowing that for all Rob’s intrinsic pain-in-the-assness, he was a friend he could count on in a pinch.

He tried to stifle the thought that he’d just dug his hole a little deeper. Worse, he was planning to enter the state of matrimony with a lie the size of Montana on his mind.

 

* * * * *

“That one.” Autumn pointed to a thin silver ring dotted with the tiniest diamond chip she’d ever seen.

The salesgirl, whom Ethan had addressed as Rose, looked at them with a frown. “Really? You want to try that one?”

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” she asked Ethan innocently. She was not going to allow this man to spend a lot of money on her, story or no story, and when she secured her contract she would pay him back for the ring, just as soon as she could afford it… which unfortunately wouldn’t be anytime soon.

Ethan looked at the ring and frowned. In fact, he hadn’t looked comfortable since they’d climbed into the truck. Maybe he was having second thoughts. He glanced at his watch for what seemed like the fifth time in the past two minutes. “I think we need to take our time. I want you to try on every ring in the place until we find the right one.”

“Why don’t you tell me your price range,” Rose said, “so I can help you stay under budget. That way your bride-to-be doesn’t have to try so hard to spare your pocket.” She winked at Autumn.

Ethan hesitated, and for the first time Autumn realized he must actually be on a budget. Maybe that was the real reason he’d left the Big House and moved into the bunkhouse. Maybe the Big House cost too much to keep up. Was the ranch losing money? She found that hard to believe – it looked prosperous enough. Although what did she know about cattle? She made a mental note to do some more research on the internet when she got home. She’d been too busy learning about horses and Montana to focus on the financials of running a ranch.

“Five thousand,” he said, after a long moment.

Five thousand? It wasn’t a huge budget, but it was nothing to sneeze at. Sure, lots of women spent more – way more – on their rings, but five grand certainly bought more than a diamond chip. Did he think she was such a princess she would look down on him for keeping to that amount? What kind of women lived out here in Montana if $5,000 was regarded as cheap? He caught her eye and she thought she detected a faint reddening to the skin on his neck and cheeks. Ethan was blushing? Over five thousand dollars?

“That’s way too much,” she said, shaking her head.

“What’s way too much?” The door slammed shut behind her, making her jump, and in an instant Rob was next to her at the counter, examining the rings in the glass cabinet as if he was the groom instead of Ethan.

“Hey, Rob,” Rose said. “Ethan was just telling us his budget for the ring was five thousand dollars.”

“Five thousand! Don’t be a cheapskate, Ethan – buy the girl a real ring!”

“Rob,” Ethan growled. “Get out of here.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not staying. Just wanted to say hi to my best girl, Rose.” He leaned over the counter, and gave the petite brunette a resounding smack, “and to let your fiancée here know that you can afford to pay ten thousand dollars for a ring. Ten thousand. Got that, buddy? Rose, what do you think about these two? A match made in heaven?” He grinned, cocking an eyebrow.

“They’ll do just fine,” she said.

“Hear that, buddy?” he said to Ethan. “You’re golden! Rose knows these things.”

“Rob.” Ethan grabbed him and hustled him toward the door. Autumn watched him haul the man out to the sidewalk.

“What’s that all about?” she said.

Rose grinned. “Oh, Ethan and Rob have been friends all their lives. You’d think they could just give each other a man hug once in a while, but not them; they torment each other.”

“What do you mean?”

“They play practical jokes all the time. If you ask me, though, Rob deserves some tormenting. If Ethan says five thousand, I’d stick to five thousand.” She shrugged.

“Why does Rob deserve tormenting?”

Rose glanced around the store and leaned closer over the cabinet. “My friend Stacey heard from her friend Ella that her cousin was in town and met Rob at a bar. They were drinking and dancing all night and she went home with him.” She lowered her voice even more. “Normally, I’d say a girl like that got what’s coming to her, but no one deserves what Rob had planned. When they got to his bedroom he had a video camera set up – like, on a tripod! He’d hung a backdrop on one wall – painted like a barn with horses all around it and he had these lights set up. He wanted her to make a movie with him! A sex movie!”

Rose hissed the last words and Autumn’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. So she’d been right about Rob – he was sleazy. Good thing she hadn’t invited him inside this morning.

“What did he mean that you know things?”

Rose blushed. “Oh, don’t mind him. It’s just…” she fussed with some brochures near the register, “I get a feeling sometimes. About people. Couples. Whether they’ll make it or not.”

“Really?” Autumn did her best, but she was sure her face reflected her skepticism.

“It’s nothing, really.” Rose glanced at the door, as if eager for Ethan to return.

“And you think we’ll make it? Ethan and I?”

After a moment, she nodded. “Yeah. You’ll make it.”

Some psychic, Autumn thought, her lips twisting. She opened her mouth to question Rose further when the door banged open again and Ethan walked in, alone. “Sorry about that, ladies, just needed to take out the trash.” He looked from one to the other. “What’re you two talking about?”

“Nothing,” she said.

“All right, no more distractions. Let’s pick out a ring.”

She felt in her handbag for her camera and drew it out. “Mind if I take a few pictures?”

 

 

* * * * *

That evening, Autumn sat at a desk in the spare bedroom, staring at the blank page on her laptop. She’d taken photos of the jewelry store, Rose holding a display of rings, and her own hand with the delicate, new engagement ring sparkling on her finger. Now she needed to write.

Ethan helped her move her bags into this room, although they agreed she’d share his bed when it came time for sleeping. Neither one of them could pretend anymore they were going to take it slow. He gallantly suggested she needed a place to herself to get away to sometimes.

She told Ethan she was an avid diarist, as well as scrapbooker, and she wanted to write down the events of the last 24 hours while they were still fresh – and that she greatly appreciated having her own room in which do so. In reality, she needed to begin her article, so that by the time she flew back to New York it would be ready to turn in.

Once they’d returned from shopping, they’d eaten a quiet dinner made from her picnic lunch leftovers, then sat for a time on the back porch watching the sunset. They’d kissed a little and snuggled a lot, all of which made her long to kick her laptop to the curb and head for bed with Ethan, but she had to remember this was just a story. The diamond on her finger wasn’t hers. Her fiancé wasn’t a fiancé, he was just some guy she was lying to for the worst of reasons.

Money.

Is this what her mother meant by taking care of herself and being independent? Somehow she didn’t think so. Sure, she would advocate doing what was necessary to survive, but was this necessary?

I won’t have a job if I don’t write this article, and in order to write this article I have to stay and play this out.

Was that true? Or could she somehow make a killer story out of what little material she already had? She grabbed her camera and clicked back through the photographs she’d saved.

No. She might have enough for a filler piece – two or three paragraphs, at most – but it wouldn’t make a feature story. For that she needed the whole shebang – a hook, the backstory – a complete picture of a lonely cowboy looking for a real cowboy wife.

While she was at it, she’d better make some notes about the questions she still needed answers to. Why did he run the YouTube ad? Why not look for love in his own home town? Why be a rancher at all? Why not join the 21st century and get a real job?

And did he really want kids?

When she realized she’d dropped her hand to her belly, she snatched it up like she’d touched hot coals.

Don’t even think it, Autumn – you can’t be pregnant. And you certainly can’t know that you are.

But she did know. She was as sure of it as she was of her own name. The thought made her hot with longing and cold with shame and fear all at the same time. What was she going to do? What would her mother and sister say when she came home pregnant?

A single mother, just like her own mom. Would she be able to rise to the challenge? Could she work all day at whatever came to hand, and go back to school to get her Masters so she could teach like her mother always said she should? Her baby in daycare from morning to night.

That last thought made her arms ache. She wouldn’t get to raise her own baby; not like she wanted to, anyway. She wouldn’t be there to hold her, play with her, keep her safe. Bake her cookies, play house, teach her to garden…

She bowed her head in frustration. After she became an ob-gyn, her own mother claimed she’d always felt stifled as a stay-at-home mom, but although she never said so, Autumn remembered things differently. She remembered many happy times with her mother and sister. Teresa used to set the timer on the oven and all three of them would race to finish their chores on summer mornings so they could spend the remainder of the day at a local pool. When they visited museums and art galleries, they had passionate arguments over which painting or sculpture they liked best. Her mother read aloud to them every night before bed. And then there were Sundays, and the noisy, fabulous feasts she missed so much.

She couldn’t believe Teresa hated those days. Instead, she thought her mother had decided to hate them, so the fact she’d lost them when her husband left wouldn’t be so devastating.

That didn’t mean Autumn couldn’t have days like those.

The ring on her finger glinted.

She could stay here, marry Ethan, be his wife. He wanted a stay-at-home kind of woman, someone to run the house, do the errands, raise the garden and the kids, and help with the ranch. They could make each other’s dreams come true.

Lord knew, it wouldn’t be a hardship to go to bed with him every night.

No.

She found herself shaking her head, her mother’s constant lectures echoing in her mind. That meant financial dependence on a man, and that was something she could not, would not, do. When you depended on a man you left your life open to earth-shattering changes – the kind that tore your heart out and stomped on it for good measure. She couldn’t raise a daughter with that kind of example. Marriage was a trap laid for women by men. A financial trap. And she wouldn’t be a party to it.

Write, she told herself. Earn your money and secure the future, for yourself and your baby.