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Dorothy took a couple of deep breaths and made a stalwart attempt to calm her shattered nerves. She was reeling at the news that a house Simone considered perfect for her and the boy-child had recently become available on Boomerang Beach. Her friend was in a state of high excitement.
The latest text reported she was desperately trying to negotiate the price down a little, since Australian real estate was at a ridiculous high. Dorothy sighed despondently. Even if Donal was inclined to be a little pompous and bossy at times, at least Amy was living with an adult.
From: Dottie8888@chatulike.ie
To: SRedmond@chatchat.com; ANorris@talkalot.com
Date: July 15th, 2011
SUBJECT: OTTER AND RACING
Hi Girls,
I am still in Killarney because I stayed to attend the races. We had a fabulous time. It also gave me a chance to catch up with the plans for the hotel. Bea and Jools want to completely remodel all the common areas before they even look at the bedrooms. That will be their focus for the next couple of months.
I had to look at lots of pics of kitchens and bars. Tbh, it was worse than a meeting with Saul. Not that I’m complaining because they are doing a fantastic job. It’s just I am feeling overwhelmed with all this design business.
I am grateful for Otter because it’s so simple. The first items of furniture have started to arrive, and Eddie and Elaine are like a couple of over-excited teenagers on their first weekend away from home. They are doing so much cleaning and organising, I am worried they might overdo things and tire Eddie out.
Elaine assures me he is thriving on the experience, and begged me not to say a word to him. I sent their details off to Gordon so he can add them to the payroll. They are skint, so I gave them a few quid to tide them over. I intend to return in August for a proper visit, and hopefully lots more shopping for the house. Eddie says he will have no trouble maintaining the hot tubs because the previous owners left the manuals for me. Good news!
I took some fabulous pics of the whole area and had them printed out in Killarney. I wouldn’t usually bother, but I can’t email them to Horace because he doesn’t have an account, and even if he did, he doesn’t own a computer or a phone. I put the best twelve pics in an envelope with a note and stuck them in the post to him. You know how outdoorsy he is. I am sure he will love Otter.
Btw, I drank a little too much at the races. Jools invited his gorgeous friend, Ronan, along and I kept flirting with him! You would not have recognised me. It must be a skill you can learn at any time of life, because I know I was crap at flirting when I was younger. Bel wants me to meet up with her and Gerald and some of their cronies at the Galway races at the end of the month, but I am so shattered I can’t get my head around that at the moment. It may be weeks before I can drive again. Love Dot xxx
By the time Dorothy reached the sanctuary of Falcon on Sunday evening, she felt as if she would need at least a fortnight of bedrest. Having texted everybody who mattered to let them know she was home safely from the Kingdom (for such was Kerry fondly known) and she was taking to her bed for an extended time-out, she put her phone on silent and slept for the better part of a day.
Depending on her mood at the time, she periodically coaxed her exhausted body into an upright position long enough to fetch a fresh bottle of water, go to the toilet, or check her phone. On these occasions, her courage and stamina began to pall after walking around the apartment for five minutes. Each time this occurred, she fully acknowledged she was a total wuss, then moaned melodramatically and once again surrendered to the bliss of her duvet.
By Tuesday, she was feeling better and managed to migrate to the living room couch where she spent the day in front of the television watching every piece of crap she and Jamie had recorded during the previous three months.
On Wednesday morning, she decided she was rested enough to once again face the world and possibly even her parents. Feeling incredibly brave and self-righteous, she set about making herself presentable. An hour later she had showered and applied suitable cosmetics.
In honour of her newly restored energy levels, she dressed in one of her favourite Ralph Lauren outfits and transferred her belongings to a small Chanel bag. She was soon poised to leave the apartment, and began to speculate as to the possible whereabouts of Jamie, and what motive he might have for neglecting her so dreadfully, when she overheard a conversation on the radio.
It transpired she had either driven, or slept, or possibly even drank and flirted her way through the news that Darren Clarke-the longshot-had won the British Open Golf Championship. Feeling numb with shock, she dropped her Chanel bag on top of the piano and lunged for her laptop. All thoughts of a familial visit were banished from her mind as she perused the multitude of emails.
Having learned from her previous experiences with gambling, Dorothy had limited each of her bets to ten thousand this time. Feeling almost expert enough to hit Vegas, she had spread her ninety thousand euro ‘flutter’ across the twelve best-known Irish and British bookmakers.
Sadly for the bookies, Dorothy collected more than ten million in winnings that week. Unbeknownst to her, Darren had been given odds of 125-1 by everybody who mattered. She was certain she would forthwith be blacklisted and never be able to place a bet again. When she called Georgie, her voiced was strained from shock.
‘Dorothy!’ he exclaimed, delighted to hear from her. ‘Did you put a bet on me oul pal Darren in the end?’
‘Georgie, do you have any children at college?’ was her neutral response.
‘Davy, our eldest. He’ll be getting his Leaving Certificate results in August. We’re expecting him to be offered a place studying medicine at Trinity College.’
‘Wow, you must be very proud.’
‘We certainly are. Why do you ask?’
‘Third level education can be an expensive business, Georgie. Especially if they live away from home. Perhaps you would do me the honour of allowing me to pay for Davy’s education for the next five or six years, or however long it takes to become a doctor. I don’t claim to be an expert on such matters.’
‘Dorothy Lyle,’ Georgie whispered, ‘exactly how much moola did you win, woman?’
She chortled merrily. ‘Go home and tell your wife to spend the money she has been desperately saving for the registration fee on something nice for the family. I’ll need your bank details, but I’ll get those off you in a few days. And tell Davy to start looking in the rental section for a nice little apartment. Ideally a two-bed so he can share with a friend. It’s not good for men to live alone. They get all bear-like and weird. Talk soon, Georgie. Bye.’
This time, Dorothy opened a long-term savings account for each twin and deposited one million euro in each. She broke the good news over lunch but without mentioning the source of the funds. She warned them the accounts had been created in such a way she would have to countersign any withdrawals for the next four years.
‘You can deposit any sums you like,’ she smiled. ‘It’s only the withdrawals that require my signature.’
She also informed them the new accounts were merely the start of the process. Over the next couple of years, she planned to create a portfolio of investments for each of them. Claudia had been most impressed with their ideas for buying up half of London. The guru had even gone so far as to say she hoped her own children would be so savvy when they were a little older.
The twins were gratified by this compliment. They told their mother the portfolio and cash were all well and good for the future, but right now could they please have another ten grand each. They wanted to spend at least a month away during the summer holidays. If their friends were to accompany them, the twins would have to pick up the bills for the more expensive purchases.
Dorothy agreed to transfer twenty thousand to each of their bank accounts. She gave them strict orders to make the cash last until Christmas, and on no account to use it to buy drugs, or engage in any other illegal or dangerous activity.
Once she was satisfied her children genuinely wanted the money for a vacation, and had not been sucked into the drug culture by virtue of the fact they could afford it, Dorothy took herself off home and went online. She was disappointed to discover there was no official register of charities, and had to use an unofficial website to download a list of all the organisations with a charitable number.
She printed it off and highlighted twenty familiar sounding and four others she had never heard of. Then she went to ask Jamie if he would assist her with some paperwork.
‘I want to split two million euro between these twenty-four charities,’ she told him, ‘but I’ll be here all day if I do it alone.’
Putting their heads together, they created a little spreadsheet, and quickly allocated the money between the different organisations. They did not have any specific criteria, so used a combination of gut instinct and common sense to arrive at a number for each one.
As Jamie wrote out the cheques, Dorothy typed up a letter. Using it as her basic template, she soon had one printed off for each organisation. By the time she was done, Jamie had completed the cheques. As she signed them, he clipped them to the letter and popped them into window envelopes.
The entire process was completed within two hours, and the duo patted each other on the back for a job well done. Dorothy handed her assistant one thousand in cash and told him to go have fun with his boyfriend, and on no account to come home pregnant. As Jamie skipped off like a ballerina, Dorothy was certain it would be a few days before she saw him again.
That still left six million from the proceeds of her latest flutter. Should she distribute cash gifts as she had before, or perhaps transfer a sum into everybody’s bank account? Would that arouse suspicion? There was no way on this earth she was going to admit she had cleaned up on the golf, once again because of the number 111.
They would very likely throttle her, and she would hardly blame them. Would they believe the investment story again? It was undoubtedly too soon to be spinning the same yarn. After all, it had been scarcely a month since she had given them a percentage of the winnings on the U.S. open. They would think Claudia was involved in a Ponzi scheme or something equally criminal. Would it be better to do nothing for the moment, and later in the year give them all a nice gift?
That’s what I’ll do. When everybody is back from their summer holidays and feeling fed up, I’ll surprise them with something that will cheer them up. Except for Bel. I’ll give her ten thousand now, because I know she would love some new clothes.
When Bel was presented with the cash, she graciously accepted it and thanked Dorothy with a hug and kiss. She said that, so far, it had been an expensive summer, although she was really looking forward to the Galway races because Gerald’s firm always put on a social. Taking this to mean she would be expected to attend a function with lots of lawyers, Dorothy went out and shopped. She knew the fashion stakes would be high at the races, especially on ladies’ day.
As she was shopping anyway, she took the decision to hit the high street. In preparation for the time she intended to spend at Otter in August, she purchased a range of what could only be described as good value items. She was thrilled to find the perfect straw hat with a wide brim to protect her face. After that, she purchased a variety of different flip-flops, canvas shoes, sleeveless tops, T-shirts and sarongs.
She even felt confident enough with her weight loss to buy two pairs of shorts and matching bikini tops. Lastly, she purchased three pairs of wedges, and four maxi dresses in a variety of shades and prints. It had not gone unnoticed by Dorothy that a degree of controversy abounded throughout the world of fashion regarding the wearing of maxi dresses by petite ladies.
Some experts were of the view that anybody could wear one, regardless of shortness of stature, while others held to the opinion that unless you were a minimum of five six, they were best avoided. Dorothy adored them, but was not confident enough to wear one around Dublin. At Otter, nobody would see her in her guiltily long frock, with the hem possibly even sweeping the ground as she strolled across the hardwood floors of her country retreat.
While cruising the high street, she also threw in any bits and pieces she thought Elaine might like because her size was easy enough to gauge. Being male, Eddie was trickier. Using Josh as her guide, she found a number of shirts and sweaters that were bound to fit. Dorothy did not exactly hide her ‘Otterwear’ from Jamie. Instead, she stored it discreetly at the back of her wardrobe, ready to be packed into her Louis upon her return from the Galway races.
Satisfied she was fairly organised, she abandoned retail and instead spent the week catching up with all of her commitments. These included Saul, Ryanna, Helen, Patrick, her parents, sisters, Nicholas, and of course, the financial guru who must never be neglected. Claudia was extremely concerned over the stability of the dollar, due to the inability of the Americans to make a decision about their financial future.
Apparently it did not matter whether you were a small island or a very large one - your economy could still be jeopardised by the fuckwits in government. Claudia told Dorothy she would be taking steps to protect her client’s interests. Whatever that meant.
Once again, Dorothy listened carefully to all of Claudia’s advice on diversity and purchasing real assets, both of which were crucial for a solid portfolio. A combination of not only stocks, but also bonds and gilts and art and gold and commodities and property and equity funds, and so on and so forth, until she thought her head would explode with it all.
She was more than happy to let Claudia advise her, although Gordon warned his sister-in-law not to grow too complacent. He gave it as his opinion the more knowledge she accumulated about the world of investments, the safer she would be.
In the long-term, he said, she would be less likely to fall into any traps, or be taken advantage of. Taking his words to heart, Dorothy listened when Claudia spoke, and tried hard to learn more, not only about the language of the financial adviser, but also about the world they inhabited.
It seemed to Dorothy that rich folks lived in a special place called Planet Money. Now she was wealthy, she was resigned to the fact she would periodically have to visit this planet, or alternatively remain dependent upon others for the rest of her life.
Before setting off for Galway, she contacted Georgie in order to discuss the Irish Open. It was due to be held in Killarney, but would be over by the time she got there. Georgie was refusing to call the victor, and with good reason. He was not one hundred percent certain an Irishman would win because the pressure on them would be immense. At the same time, it went against the grain with him to bet against his compatriots.
‘I know exactly what you mean,’ Dorothy told him cheerfully. ‘It’s almost impossible to make a decision. I think I might bet two thousand on the best looking one. I’ll have to check out photos of the contestants before I decide.’
‘Paddy Power will love you,’ the pro chortled.
‘I seriously doubt that, Georgie,’ she replied ruefully. ‘Ever since the Darren Clarke win, I’m surprised nothing truly bad has happened to me because the bookies must be sending me so much negativity.’
They were still laughing over this witticism when they disconnected. Without as much as a flicker of foreboding, Dorothy returned to her packing, while Georgie went back to his latest client, a promising young lady from Greystones with an excellent swing for one so young.
All things considered, Dorothy felt she was pretty organised for the races. This was mainly due to Jamie doing most of her packing and booking her in for her usual treatments. She had allowed her hair to grow and now had it regularly coloured a shade of honey blonde, with a few highlights thrown in for good measure. It hung below her shoulders in golden waves, a new look she liked very much.
Despite Joan’s initial reservations about her blonde hair being resistant to laser treatment, her sessions were progressing well, and she was gratified to see how hair-free she was. The couple of dark hairs on her neck were officially a thing of the past, and her legs were becoming as smooth as silk.
Her non-surgical facials were also doing the trick. It was hard to judge merely by examining her own reflection, although Sharon had been full of compliments on the subject of Dorothy’s skin when her client attended the salon for a manicure. Hoping she would not disgrace either herself or the Kinsellas, Dorothy made sure she had plenty of cash in her wallet, stood idly by and watched Jamie pack her luggage into the Merc yet again, kissed him goodbye and set off for Galway.
