| |
‘Fuck them, the dirty bastards!’ Dorothy raged at her own reflection in the mirror. She had slept heavily and awoken feeling groggy and cranky. As she was finding it therapeutic, she shouted and swore a bit more. After a few minutes, her throat began to feel scratchy, and the novelty of shouting wore off.
She left the bedroom and wandered into the kitchen instead. There was no sign of Glenda so she dragged the necessary ingredients out of the fridge and made herself a strawberry and yoghurt smoothie. As an afterthought, she also threw in a handful of wheat germ and cereal, hoping the carbs would perk her up. She poured the finished product into a tall glass and carried it to the study so she could mail Simone.
From: Dottie8888@chatulike.ie
To: SRedmond@chatchat.com
Date: December 6th, 2011
SUBJECT: IT’S LIFE, JIM, BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT.
Hi Simone,
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before...please don’t be mad. I appear to have some sort of stalker. I am beginning to feel seriously annoyed about it all. The whole thing started with a few nasty texts and emails, and even though it wasn’t very nice, we were not hugely concerned. Then a few days ago, the little creep tampered with the brakes on my Mercedes. That was very worrying as you can imagine, but I was still trying not to get too freaked out over it all.
Yesterday I took my old Focus to the shops because the two new cars were in the garage being thoroughly inspected for sabotage. Guess what? It was firebombed while I was in the shopping centre with Mum and the twins. We got a terrible shock when we came out. I keep thinking about what would have happened if the twins had been in it at the time. Josh says nobody would have gone near the car if somebody was actually inside, but that doesn’t stop me imagining the horrible possibilities.
Diane took some pics of the firefighters hosing it down which I am attaching to this mail. They are all very handsome and rugged as you can see. It’s a shame I didn’t take more notice of them at the time. I was too busy being a wuss. There were two units at the scene, which means I shall no doubt be receiving an enormous bill for their services. There’s something very unjust in that don’t you think?
I fully appreciate why somebody might be jealous of me. Didn’t I win over one hundred and thirty-eight million yo yos during the worst recession the nation has arguably ever experienced? But that doesn’t give anybody the right to judge me, or burn out my cars, or tamper with their brakes or any of that crap. This behaviour bears all the hallmarks of irrationality. In other words, a random nutcase cannot abide the notion that somebody else has lots of money, simply by virtue of winning it.
I went online and did some research on stalking. Of course, all of the slebs have them, and a mighty unpleasant business it is for the poor wee critters, and no mistake. It often takes the form of psychological abuse. Well I lived with Declan O’Keefe for the better part of five years and then Victor Hines for one more, hence I am familiar with the concept. I have no intention of taking this lying down, either now or any time in the future.
My research tells me stalkers feed on fear and the majority of victims are ordinary people, not slebs. Most victims are women (what a shocker). Stalkers crave attention (D’oh). Being stalked is a life-changing experience and can cause traumatic psychological damage to the victim. (No shit, Sherlock). I found a few good tips, which I have listed below because it helped me get it straight in my head:
Never try to engage directly with your stalker.
Stalkers often select a person based on their looks, like a small woman.
Keep a log of all incidents, including emails and phone calls.
Try to obtain a restraining order if you know who it is.
It’s better to appear unconcerned, as they might get bored.
Do not play detective on your own, hire a private investigator.
So far, nobody has tried to make contact with me; ergo I have no clue who is responsible for any of this. The research did give me a few good ideas, and I am going to speak to Rosa about hiring a detective to find this creep. How 21st Century am I?
I am off to do some packing for the move and also email Amy and Jamie with this latest news. Bel, Amanda, Horace and Viv know all about it, but I still have to break the news to other friends. I am dreading telling Patrick and Helen. I was trying to keep it a secret because I didn’t want everybody freaking out. After everything that has gone on during these past few weeks, I can’t take that attitude any longer.
Sorry again for not saying something sooner. My parents are supremely unhappy as you can imagine, although so far they are bearing up. The new house is very secure. If I can survive until the move, I might be okay. I will be in touch soon. Hi to Charlie. Love Dot xx
When Rosa arrived at Falcon, she found Glenda in the kitchen tackling a pile of ironing, and Dorothy behind her desk, gazing contemplatively at her list of stalker do’s and don’ts.
‘Boss, how are you feeling this morning?’ she enquired gently.
‘I’m grand thanks, Rose. Just doing a bit of research on stalking. What would you say to the idea of hiring a private investigator to find this emotionally repressed and unstable moron?’
Rosa moved to her own desk and slowly sat down. ‘I’m not against the idea,’ she said carefully, ‘but I can’t help feeling it wouldn’t go far enough. What if it took the PI weeks to find the Sick Puppy, and in the meantime he got to your car again? I was thinking more of a professional CPPO.’
Dorothy stared at her assistant, wondering if CPPO was a new type of spray. Like mace, but legal.
‘And what exactly is one of those when it’s at home?’ she enquired almost fearfully.
‘A close personal protection officer,’ Rosa replied steadily.
Dorothy looked down at her desk, then moved her eyes to the floor and contemplated it with avid interest. She transferred her gaze to the far wall and lingered there for a while. Finally, she eyeballed her assistant in disbelief.
‘Rosa Barnett, are you seriously suggesting I hire a bodyguard?’ She sounded outraged by the notion.
‘More than one, Boss. You’d need a couple at least. You couldn’t expect one guy to guard you 24/7.’ Rosa returned the look without flinching.
‘So now I’m Whitney Houston looking for Kevin Costner?’ Dorothy almost shouted. ‘I do not believe this is happening. I have to call Bel. I need to talk to her about this.’
With that, she jumped up and took off to the drawing room on her short legs. After pushing the speed dial button with shaking hands, she quickly updated her friend with Rosa’s suggestion.
‘Gerald and I were discussing it last night,’ Bel said, after Dorothy had talked herself out. ‘Gerald even called his cousin, Liam, who’s working over in Hampshire in the UK at the moment. You might remember him from our wedding.’
‘No, Bel, I do not remember meeting him sixteen years ago, and I’m sure I wasn’t that drunk. Why would Gerald call him anyway? Is Liam a policeman?’
‘No, Dottie, he’s one of those CPPOs Rosa was talking about. He’s been working for a rich English family for the past three years. To be perfectly honest with you, he’s a tad fed up over there and wouldn’t mind coming home. He’d be glad to fly over for an interview on his day off, if you’d be interested in taking him on. He acts as the driver for the husband, and generally takes care of things there. Wouldn’t it be great if you had a chauffeur like that? Somebody in the business?’
Dorothy agreed it would be some measure of relief to have a chauffeur who was used to ‘taking care of things’ and told her friend as much. Bel was relieved she had not given offence, and volunteered to text Liam’s details to Rosa as soon as possible.
‘There’s something else, Dottie. I know you’re under terrible strain right now, but Gerald is insisting I mention it to you,’ Bel sounded positively nervous at the other end of the line.
‘What is it? Go ahead and say it. It can’t be that bad surely,’ Dorothy replied encouragingly.
‘Gerald doesn’t want to say a word against Nicholas Kerrigan. They’ve known each other for years so this is by no means a personal attack. It’s just Gerald is shocked because Nick hasn’t finalised your will. If anything were to happen to you, Dottie, the possible consequences don’t bear thinking about. You told me yourself the old one isn’t sufficient anymore.’
‘It’s not all Nick’s fault,’ Dorothy admitted sheepishly. ‘I haven’t devoted the time to him I should have done during these past six months. It’s not only because of the house either. It’s because I’ve been having too much fun. Does Gerald have a suggestion?’
‘Yes!’ Bel was once again relieved she had not given offence. ‘He says you don’t have to put pressure on Nick to rush things if you’re worried about the tax planning. He’ll bring home one of the standard will packs his firm uses. He says you’re to come to dinner at our house tomorrow night and we’ll fill it in together. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy.
‘You only need a list of personal bequests and everything else will go the twins. He thinks you should appoint Gemma and Orla as your executors, and request they distribute your clothes and jewellery and stuff like that as they see fit. It will literally take us an hour to do the whole thing. I’ll type it myself if I have to and I’ll be the witness. You won’t be able to put us down as beneficiaries if I act as a witness, so make sure you leave us off the list.’
‘I can’t leave you off the list of beneficiaries,’ Dorothy exclaimed hotly. ‘You’re my oldest friend for fuck sake. What would people think of me?’
‘Dottie, this is only a short-term solution until you get the real will finalised and signed,’ Bel replied patiently. ‘Tell Nick to get his act together and get it done and dusted. Try to keep things in perspective, and don’t be worrying about Gerald and me. Focus on staying safe, that’s all we ask.’
‘What would I do without you?’ Dorothy replied with a sob in her voice. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Bel, and thank you.’
When Dorothy returned to the study, she was looking soulful. She told Rosa what Bel had said about Liam. ‘If I had a few of those CPPOs, they’d probably catch this moron before too long. What do you think?’ she asked in a small voice.
‘Totally, Boss. They’re bound to. They’re professionals after all,’ Rosa was quick to agree.
‘What do you think of this idea of Bel’s?’ Dorothy asked quietly.
‘I think you need to start someplace, and that place could be with this Liam guy,’ Rosa sounded sure. ‘You should invite him over for an interview ASAP. He’s probably on a month’s notice, and the holidays are coming. You’ll be lucky to have him here by mid-January. That’s assuming you like the look of the guy.’
Dorothy noticed her assistant was frowning. ‘What’s on your mind, Rose?’
‘I think you should consider setting up a limited company if you’re planning to employ security staff. It would be better to have them on a company payroll.’
‘Do you mean because of liability insurance?’ Dorothy tiredly brushed a strand of hair off her forehead.
‘Partly that, and partly for tax reasons, and partly to keep the accounting straight.’
‘Okay, let’s do it. Let’s set up a company even if we never use it. Better to be safe than sorry.’
Satisfied with this, Rosa nodded and promised to get right on it. She also undertook to make the necessary arrangements with Gerald’s cousin. Wasting no time, Liam McCormack was duly contacted. Rosa assured him if he provided receipts, his travel expenses would be reimbursed.
Liam was pleased and relieved to get the call, and agreed to fly to Dublin for an interview on the following Sunday. In the meantime, Dorothy went online and finished the bulk of her Christmas shopping. She also had a couple of very interesting meetings with Sharon and Cara about beauty and cakes respectively.
Saul and Ryanna were still pushing hard to get the mansion finished, but Ryanna did not feel it would be right for her client to move to the new house until her bedroom suite was complete and the waterbed in situ. Dorothy was inclined to agree there was no point in moving without her new bed.
Two rooms and a bathroom on the first floor had been joined together to make a housekeeper’s suite. When Dorothy asked Glenda if, despite the recent madness, she would be interested in staying on and moving with her to the palace, the Dutch woman agreed with alacrity.
‘Don’t worry, Boss,’ she said, ‘this crazy man will be caught soon enough and life will go back to normal.’
As she spoke the words, the housekeeper genuinely believed what she was saying, but of course Glenda was mistaken. Very much so.
