CHAPTER 3

How To Observe— Fundamental Principles

Your work is to discover your work

And then with all your heart

To give yourself to it.

(Buddha. Dhammapada, 62)

The practice of self observation includes the practice of “finding yourself,” locating yourself in time and space, in the body but not as the body, and then managing the body: this is known as self remembering. Self observation and self remembering go together like left and right; they are one thing. Self observation is a practice and is part of a system of practices which taken together have traditionally been called “The Work.” That is, these practices are the rightful, lawful work given to the soul in order to develop itself in the Earth school. We are given the human opportunity in order to learn how to work in a way which develops and matures us as souls and is therefore useful to our Creator and to Its creation. Mature souls know how to work and they do their work. Buddha calls this “The way of perfection” (Dhammapada, 96). Self observation is, therefore, a lawful practice and a way of power, so it must be practiced according to its laws. Bad habits multiply and lead to trouble, whereas the careful and honest practitioner will find oneself always having a source of inner help in one’s difficulties and struggles. The four fundamental principles of self observation are as follows:

1) Without judgment: This is the most difficult principle to understand. The mind is the judge, constantly judging every person, event, and thing which occurs in my life. It judges in order to file/store information. It does so by establishing two large generalized categories into which it files all people, events and things which occur in my life: like//dislike (or good//bad—etc.). Then by association (comparison and contrast) it judges every single thing in my life, constantly, in order that it might label and file everything. It also judges every one of my actions in order to create the illusion of separation between myself and the action: I speak cruel words, then I judge those words as wrong and in so doing, I create the illusion that I am separate from the action being judged. The moment there is blame, there is separation from what is blamed. In this way, I prevent myself from seeing and feeling my behavior and taking full responsibility for it, owning my behavior. Judgment keeps me blind to myself. And I believe in this judgment process totally, either by accepting or rejecting what it tells me. Either way, I am “identified” (= “I am that”) with the process of judgment. It rules, I obey without question.

Thus, to observe without judgment means to hold the attention steadily on bodily-sensation,* stay steady and unmoved in the body, relax the body, and allow the process to dissolve. When the intellectual-emotional complex triggers any movement not called for by the situation at hand, let that movement of thought and/ or emotion remind me to steady and stabilize the attention on bodily sensation—be present in the body without grabbing hold of (“identifying with”) the thought or emotion: find myself, manage the body. Then see what happens to the energy of thought/ emotion when I do not follow it or allow it to capture the attention. Like a doe hidden in tall grass when the hunter is stalking, let the attention remain absolutely motionless, steady, stable and unmoving in the midst of the intellectual-emotional-complex searching for the attention, in order to capture & consume it for its own habitual, well-established purposes: to restore and/or maintain its patterns.

The law of maintenance: What goes unfed weakens; what gets fed grows stronger. Either the intellectual-emotional-complex feeds on the attention and grows stronger, while the attention grows weaker, is caught by every easy breeze, easily distracted and taken by every stray thought//emotion; or the attention feeds on the intellectual-emotional-complex and grows stronger, more stable, able to hold steady for longer periods of time, able to avoid distraction, able to remain free and stable in the midst of the fiercest intellectual//emotional storms. The aim* for the mature soul is a free and stable attention even at the moment of the body’s death. The soul is attention; It does not pay attention, it is attention (consciousness). I am attention.

2) Without changing what is observed: This is also difficult to understand because the urge to change what I observe in my behavior is a trap which keeps me enslaved in an unending cycle of guilt and blame. It is the judge which tries to change what is observed—this command judgment to change behavior immediately captures the attention and throws it into a state of “identification” with what is observed. The attention is no longer free and stable, but captured and consumed by the judgmental mind, which by association (comparison and contrast) is labeling and filing the behavior in its vast warehouse of “like//dislike” or “good//bad”—etc. The moment I am taken by the labeling of behavior as “bad” then I cease to observe. Now I am that which judges and the attention is consumed by that. I can no longer give free attention to the inner functions of the body, but attention is caught by the judgment. Since I am now identified with the behavior, and the behavior is judged “bad” then the command is to change myself, as in: “I’ve got to stop smoking. Smoking is bad.” In itself this may be true, but with identification, the message is “I am bad and I’ve got to change.” The judgment feeds upon attention; habit must be fed to stay alive and grow.

But, when the attention remains stable and steady, fixed upon bodily sensation and keeping the body relaxed then the judge has nowhere to go except to feed the stable and steady attention. Thought and emotion = energy in the body. The first law of matter (Newtonian physics) is: matter (which is energy) is neither created nor destroyed, only transformed. Thus, when there is an influx of energy into the body (which is constant: “Give us this day our daily bread” as the Gospels language it) this energy is captured (stolen) by the intellectual-emotional-complex and used to enact its psycho-dramas. The energy has to go somewhere, by law, so if it is not consumed by the intellectual-emotional-complex as psycho-drama, then it must be transformed into food for the attention according to law. The psycho-drama is as follows: struggle to change myself, based on the judgment “I’m no good/bad/wrong” = a lifetime of drama to change what I am. The alternative is to observe without “identification” with the judgmental process, accepting whatsoever I see, allowing it to be in the body, and not doing anything about it at all—simply observing, relaxing, accepting, allowing—neither for nor against. In the ancient spiritual schools this practice was called “neti-neti” = “not this-not that.” In the shamanic schools, this practice was known as “not-doing.” It was also called “stopping the world.” It is a mature soul who understands and follows the law of attention. One who does not follow the law is a prisoner, a slave, enslaved by “identification” to a lifetime of doing exactly as one is told by the judge, without question, unwavering suffering and sorrow. This constant identification with the judgment process is known as “contamination.’“*

3) With attention on bodily sensation and a relaxed body: No observation without sensation is another way of putting this principle. This is called in some traditions “self remembering.” That is, it is the first and initial stage of self remembering: I find myself. Self observation alone is not enough, if I do not also remember myself—that is, when I observe, first I must find myself, I must locate myself in time and space, in the body, in the present. At the same time as I am observing, I keep part of my attention focused on bodily sensation. There is always sensation in the body; it can be experienced from inside the body and from outside it observing it, both ways. But unless I can ground the observation by keeping attention on bodily sensation (the sensation of energy moving in the body, the sensation of thought moving, the sensation of emotion moving, the sensation of physical tension in the musculature, the sensation of relaxation, of sleepiness, the sensations coming into the machine via the five senses: sight, smell, taste, touch, sound—all of this is what is meant by “sensation”) then the observation is from intellectual center only. Therefore, it is not grounded and simply adds to the insanity. It leads to imagination such as: look at me, I am “working” now; or: look at me, I am in “the Work” and I “work” all the time. Like that. The mind will lie. It will imagine Work is taking place when none is. Thus the first three laws of self observation:

1) Self observation without judgment.

2) Don’t change what is observed.

3) No observation without sensation.

The attention must remain grounded = present, focused on what is right in front of me. What better way than to focus on the body, through which all “impressions” flow. The body is always and only in the present; the body is a present-phenomenon only. The mind wanders out of the present, the rest of the body does not. Sensation is always a present-phenomenon only. I must remember that “I am here now” in this place, in this moment. Otherwise it is merely imagination, pretending, all from the intellect and without real grounding or presence. There is always sensation in the body. Feel the limbs (try to sense the right big toe without looking at it), sense the body’s weight and mass. Another good practice for sensing the body is to keep both feet on the ground and keep the spine straight and in a good, relaxed posture. This is called “the practice of bodily sensation,” because it will a) immediately return the attention (which is what I am) to the body, it will ground it, it will place the attention in its ground which is the body; b) it will focus the attention upon the body and its sensations; c) it will shift the focus of the attention away from mind and mood, and place it in the present, from where I have the possibility of freedom to choose instead of the present mood choosing for me, speaking for me, and acting for me.

In other words, I may at that moment be a human being, and not a robotic, habitual machine on automatic pilot. The effort is always and in everything to free the attention (which is what I am) so that it is not captured and consumed by the body’s force of habits, but is free to choose from aim, not mood. Most human beings’ attitude is determined by their mood, thus they are slaves to mood. It is mood which thinks for them, speaks for them, and acts for them. Mood is like the weather—a cloud in the sky is not my concern, nor can I do anything about it but merely observe it; likewise, mood is the inner weather, a cloud which is passing through the inner sky. It is not me, it does not need to affect me in any way, and just like the cloud, it is not any of my business or concern. Thus, for the mature soul, mood does not decide attitude. I am free to choose my attitude at any moment, regardless of circumstances internal or external. Any time I am in emotional conflict of any kind, there is the practice of bodily sensation to help me not identify: turn attention to sensing the body inside and out. This is self observation with self remembering.

4) Ruthless self honesty (from Mister Lee Lozowick’s teaching) also means: tell the truth about myself, no matter how bad it makes me look. This kind of honesty is crucial in self observation. Without it, we join the mass of humanity, whose main concern is looking good in front of others. So this “ruthless self honesty” can be called the fourth law of self observation because it keeps me honest and in the process produces a beautiful byproduct which is humility. Humility is a gift, it is grace, and it comes to one who works on self in an honest way. It is easy for me to lie to myself and I do it all the time. I have an image of self which sees self as righteous, fine, noble, all of the admirable virtues; or it may be that the image is bad, ugly, as in “I’m no good.” Both are false, because both are partial, not complete. I pretend to be this in front of others as well. And I am blind inside to my own contradictions. It is these habits of behavior which contradict this self-image which my lying prevents me from seeing and suffering. When I practice “ruthless self honesty” I will learn what voluntary suffering* means, because I will begin to see my contradictions without lies or judgment, simply as they are in me. And I will suffer. The Work asks me to stand in this pain, doing nothing, trying to change nothing, judging nothing, simply feeling the pain totally without judging it good or bad, right or wrong. Simply stand in the pain and allow it to be sensed throughout the body. Emotional or psychological pain is energy in the body. Nothing else. The body knows what to do with the energy but only when I do not interfere. But my habits interfere: I think about the pain, I react to the pain, I judge the pain, I fight the pain, I try to “fix” the pain, it goes on and on. By my habitual behavior, I interfere. Thus, the pain gets worse; it gets magnified. But if I simply stand in the pain, not doing, sensing the body and the pain, then the body transforms the energy. By identification I feed the pain; by observing without judgment and standing in the pain, sensing it in the body, it feeds me: this is a meta-physical equation. In Newtonian physics, the first law of motion states: “An object in motion [pain] tends to stay in motion, unless an outside force [self observation without judgment] acts upon it.”

Mister E.J. Gold has said, “The human biological machine is a transformational apparatus.” It knows what to do with the energy if I do not interfere. See this one time and you will never have the same relationship with your emotional pain again, cannot. Because clarity will have entered into the equation, and once clarity enters, even one time, I cannot be the same again. It does not mean the habits cease. Of course not. But my relationship to the habit is different. This makes all the difference in the world.

Honesty

If you want to see what real honesty is

look no further than the dog.

The dog doesn’t give a damn for looking good

but will hunch the leg of the Queen’s mother

if it feels like it. The dog

doesn’t care what the hell you think, it will

lick its balls in the presence of the Pope

if that is what it has a mind to do.

The dog does not stand on position, power,

wealth or fame of any kind. He will

bite the rump of the Emperor if he

tries to pick up the dog’s food; the dog

will lift its leg on the whitewall tire

of the Prime Minister’s limousine or

shit on the Dalai Lama’s prayer rug

because he is a dog and that

is what dogs do and

in some secret uncorrupted part of the self

we admire this honesty in dogs, because

we see it is absent in ourselves and

we know that such honesty

comes with a terrible price in this world.

(Red Hawk. Wreckage With A Beating Heart, 190)