CHAPTER 16

Being-Shock

When the intensity is such that you cannot deny the death of the neurotic mind and the life and freedom of the Work mind, then you are in a position in which you can make a step . . .

We really do not recognize the fact that we have no choice. We are totally enslaved by the neurotic mind: every breath, every word out of our mouths, every gesture. We couldn’t be free if our lives, if our children’s lives, depended upon it. We could not. We have no options—we can’t be free. We can’t make the conscious choice. We can’t make a free gesture. When we get that, the horror and disgust is so overwhelming that we will be forced to choose the Work mind.

We’re forced to see how absolutely, completely choiceless we are when we are dominated by our psychology, and the shock of that is what propels us into choosing the Work mind . . .

(Lee Lozowick. In: Young, As It Is, 156)

Only a great shock will penetrate to the level of the being. And this shock must be cumulative, the result of years of honest self observation without judgment. Look after look accumulate like water dripping on stone. It is this homeopathic accumulation of information which leads to the realization at last that there is more to me than this continual display of intellectual, emotional, and physical habits. More is possible than this fear-based life. Once the being learns how to learn, through simple and steady observation, it finds a source of real food in this practice which satisfies its deep hunger for truth. It longs for truth and can only be nourished and grow by being fed a steady diet of what is true. And the contrast between what is true and what I am being told by the intellectual-emotional-complex and manifesting in my daily behavior is the source of real suffering. Direct experience becomes my teacher, not the accumulation of belief systems, borrowed knowledge, and the experience of others which are stored in the memory as the self, which I believe in, and which I have given my life to without question.

The contrast between what memory, the thinker, and direct experience tell me leads me eventually to question all authority, especially the authority of the intellectual-emotional-complex. Slowly, I begin to trust the reality I observe more than the reality being fed to me by the intellectual-emotional-complex, which denies my basic goodness and creates a world of fear, all to support the illusion of security and control.

Anyone who practices self observation faithfully, without judgment or changing what is observed, with ruthless self-honesty and a relaxed body, will sooner or later come to the point of horror. It is guaranteed. It is the law. It is my experience. This is what I am calling “being-shock” and it is overwhelming. I see that I am a total, helpless slave to my psychology and that it will never change. The only thing that can ever change is my relationship to what is observed: without identification.

The habits, the patterns enacted over and over again since childhood, go on ruthlessly in me without regard for the effect they have on my life, my relationships, and my well being. They will never end; they will never change; they will never stop. It is not their place to stop; something else must stop in me. To see this truthfully is horror. And it is this horror which awakens the being from its unconscious paralysis, which it has been in since life overwhelmed it as a small child. As a child I was compelled to comply with a definition of reality which was in direct contradiction to my feelings, my senses, and what I intuitively understood. Failure to comply meant loss of love. Now, after years of self observation, I realize at this crucial, life-changing point that if I do not take responsibility for my life, my thoughts, my emotions, my habits, and the functions of the human biological instrument, then I will go to my death enslaved and identified with my madness. I will live a mammal’s life and die a dog’s death. Something has to stop. It is now clear that the intellectual-emotional-complex will not stop. The only possibility is that my identification with it cease, “cold turkey” as Mister E.J. Gold has called it.

The habits are a tape-loop which runs endlessly in the intellectual-emotional-complex. This loop is used by the labyrinth (= the intellectual-emotional-complex) to capture and consume attention, upon which it feeds to maintain its life and its cycle. Without my identification, the labyrinth cannot maintain its continuous tape-loop. It cannot enact its programs. Memory, the thinker, the left hemisphere of the brain, is an electrochemical computer complex programmed to repeat its patterns. Simple. Its whole existence is built around this single aim: to maintain, preserve, and repeat its patterns. The only thing which can change in this cycle is my relationship to it = non-identification with its patterns and with my blind spot = self-hatred. Identification can stop. This is a conscious being-choice. The only “progress” is seeing and feeling the pattern as it takes place = self observation without judgment or identification. When I have seen it enough, I begin to understand that it is not ever going to change, it will go to the grave repeating its programs and consuming attention. When I understand this not just intellectually but also in the emotional center, when I not only see it, but feel it deeply—the horror and the shock of the horror—then there can happen what is called “being-shock” in which the inner sleeping, unconscious being steps forward to take its rightful place in the human biological instrument and assumes responsibility for its learning and its life. As long as the being is not conscious of itself, it cannot see what is consuming it. If I see it, I don’t have to be it. But first I have to see it 10,000 times or more before I understand that I am not the patterns I am observing: this is the awakening of intelligence.

Being-shock is not simple change, it is a move to another level of existence, another reality; it is a change in being in which the Work becomes the active principle and the psychology and the functions of the body, most importantly including the intellectual-emotional-complex, become passive, waiting to serve. When the Work is the active principle, basic goodness emerges. Virtues arise. The being assumes responsibility for taming and training the mammal, a function which before this has been performed by the master, the teacher. Being-shock only happens when both intelligence and conscience have been awakened in the being. When intelligence has been awakened, I see clearly what is needed and wanted and I understand the implications of what I am seeing. I make intelligent choices. When conscience is awakened, I can feel the shock of horror deeply because I have become sensitized by conscience into feeling suffering. I am no longer numb. When the suffering of conscience reaches critical mass then the shock of horror has the effect of awakening the being. This is transformative. I become consistent and reliable when this happens, because I am no longer driven by habit but by attention to what is needed and wanted in the present moment. I begin to behave appropriately, no longer manifesting inappropriate emotions. Now, mastery of mood and of the body’s functions is possible because the intellectual-emotional-complex has been transformed from master to willing servant. Unnecessary thinking no longer dominates the head-brain. This is called “stopping the world” in the ancient shamanic traditions.

The beauty of this transformative being-shock is that the being which emerges from its hiding is simple, not complicated. It is not cunning or devious. It is not divided, it is a single entity. It trusts reality because it is real. It does not endlessly repeat the same worn and tired, non-functional, unworkable patterns or habits. It is a presence and it operates in the present efficiently. It is a human being. It is sane.

The Simple Life, No Call-Waiting

No cell phone, no caller id, no call-waiting, no

cable, no Tivo, no computer, no Ipod, no

blueberry, no notepad, no laptop, no

riding mower, no leaf blower, no weed eater,

no digital clock, no air conditioner, no new car;

I live in another country, a different century.

I ride my 3-speed bike to work, because

it helps the Earth and eases the body more gracefully

into its dying; it makes the body work hard and

it likes to work, likes to do sweat-labor despite

the avalanche of labor-saving technology whose function

is to drain us of our life force.

I write by hand in a notebook because

I like to see where I’ve been, follow my tracks back

through the snow to where I started, see how things

work out on the page, where I went wrong,

how to begin again, nothing deleted.

I don’t want to know who’s calling or

who has called. I’ve lived 65 years and I have

never gotten a phone call that made a difference.

If you reach me, that’s fine but if you don’t

nothing is lost.

Most people are slaves.

That’s the way they like it.

After all the years of heartbreak and disappointment,

of treachery and betrayal, are you so far gone

that you believe the next phone call will be the one

that saves you? When Death comes for you,

you can’t say, Would you mind holding?

I’ve got a life on the other line.

(Red Hawk)