AND THE RECORD REPEATS

Chet’la Sebree

 

There’s dust, a scratch in a groove,

and here we are repeating

the same two seconds of “Strange Fruit.”

It’s the same sound from the 78 rpm

to the vintage vinyl to which we listen

in our apartments, where we return

bruised and bloodied and beaten,

unrecognizable in our mothers’ arms,

if we find the right path back to them.

All our lives we’ve cried a rallying cry,

from the river, from the water wanting

baptism, a rebirth to an earth

where it wasn’t dangerous to be

young and gifted and us—slinging

school bags over shoulders—where

we could go to church and

little Black girls could remain

little Black girls

not only in memoriam.

Through a liturgy, no,

a litany, we learned to pray.

Warriors taught us

to dance through minefields—

pirouette and grand jeté a revelation

in the face of annihilation,

bouquets blossoming

between cracks in concrete.

In pressed page

and in song

and on stage,

we felt the weight

of sun and rainbows and shade,

patient tenderness and pennilessness,

felt a rhapsody reverberate our ribcages.

The good Lorde told us

we weren’t meant to survive,

but we’ve always been good

at going about our lives

in factories and on our knees

in houses we cleaned

with tables at which

we would never eat.

But still we fell in line,

took to boot, tank, and sky.

In Busan, in Ardennes, in Hue,

young men threw themselves

over booby trap and grenade

never to return to an ostensible parade.

Strangers in a homeland

still no man’s—

the barbed lancets of a bee.

But, still, there was honey.

There were arias and

Chisholm-chiseled sightlines

as the tale of our roots writhed.

So we broke step

as we dreamed dreams

deferred again and again,

as we congregated

over hot buttered toast,

took our seats at the table,

called on our mothers

to grease and braid hair of babes,

as we curled close together

in Harlem and Trenton

on nights alight with our injuries.

To the disquieting phrasing

of Black bodies swinging,

we still curl close

to loved ones

in different cities,

teach our children

their ABCs and 123s,

how to pas de bourrées

and kick-ball-change,

as we work to lift

our fists, the needle,

put on a new record to play.