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WHILE SERVING BREAKFAST to their growing family, Gregory observed a long mass of high-quality carriages lined up before Xavier and Vic’s place of business. He let them know at once.
Xavier stared out the kitchen window and pondered why these five Cretans had come to his place. “This looks like trouble. Vic grab a gun, but keep it hidden. Same goes with you, Tubs. If you have to shoot them, shoot to kill. These are not men you want to piss off.”
With that disturbing warning, Vic and Tubs followed Xavier across the street into their presently over-crowded office.”
One of the men turned to face Xavier. “This doesn’t concern you, Xavier. Take the boy and your thug and go away.”
“You have some nerve,” Xavier laughed. “You stand in my business and attempt to send me and my staff off?”
“This has nothing to do with you,” the man snapped.
“I beg to differ. You five appear intent on annoying my excellent employee, and I do not wish him to be annoyed.”
Stone rose in anger. “You have my answer! Now get on with you! Tubs, escort these men out if they do not remove themselves in the next five seconds.”
Wishing to be helpful, Vic started a countdown. “Five, four, three, two, one.” At one, she slammed the door closed, causing the last man to almost take a tumble.
Xavier let out a long sigh. “Vic, what did I say?”
“Were you serious about letting me kill them? I’ll happily shoot them all.”
“As would I,” Stone admitted. “However, Xavier was correct in scolding you, Victor. Those are the five worst parliament members that we have.”
“I thought we got rid of the worst three.”
“No, you got rid of the worst three Russian spies. Those five are all Englishmen.”
“Are you positive? It turns out to be easy to fool whoever is letting people become parliament members.”
“I can assure you they are Englishmen. I actually attended school with three of them earlier in my life.”
“What about the other two?” Vic challenged.
“They went to Eaton, but they are all English monsters,” Stone replied. “They were horrible children, and they are horrible adults. And unfortunately, they get wealthier every year because stealing comes natural to them. And please do not share that with anyone, for they are very clever in their thefts and will sue anyone who attacks their fine names.
“Does Barns know they are stealing?”
“Last year, you brought it to his attention when Xavier’s mother’s account was losing money.”
“Yes, and I believe he shut their clever scheme down. Are you saying none of those men went to jail?”
“The lower level went to jail. However, Barns was warned off from charging these five trolls of any wrongdoing.”
“I expected Barns to be better than that,” Vic stated.
“It was not his choice. The prior Prime Minister told him to leave them alone.”
“Damn it! I always liked the prior Prime Minister,” Vic huffed.
“As do I. I thought his advice to be excellent. These men are too rich, too mean, and too greedy for one young man to take on. Barns is making far more progress than I ever did.”
“Such as what?” Vic asked.
“He’s done so much that I don’t even know where to start. For one, he has improved the process of fingerprinting, so any print we have stored can be located in less than an hour. And given the growing number of fingerprints, that is an amazing accomplishment. Better yet, he has made it so easy to understand, that the young ladies on our staff can match prints in short order.”
“Why did he hire ladies to do this?” Vic asked. She hoped it wasn’t because they were paid less.
Stone smiled. “Honestly, the men weren’t nearly as fast. The ladies seem to see details the men would miss.”
“What else has he done?” Vic asked.
“When was the last time you talked to Barns?” Stone challenged.
Vic huffed. “Yesterday. He threatened to throw me into jail for a few months.”
Her reply shocked him. “Why?”
“He didn’t want me to prove Sanders Quinn was Anton Popov.”
“Well, there was true concern in that matter. The new Prime Minister will protect himself first and foremost. Barns was no doubt concerned that you would attempt a frontal attack, which would have gotten you killed. However, your final plan was exceptionally clever. Which is no doubt why you are not in house-confinement presently.”
“Other than the fingerprints and trying to house-confine me, what else has he done?” Vic demanded.
“Well, he has expanded the reach of Scotland Yard significantly by convincing those above to allow us to connect our phone banks to a great many places in England, including all hospitals, Parliament, the Fire Departments, doctors, not to mention important private citizens who need to be in the know. Now, instead of sending a runner for matters of importance, we can simply make a call to discover what is happening.”
“Anything else?” Vic asked.
“He has completely transformed the way his men think about crimes, but in that matter, he will be the first to give the credit to you and Xavier. However, let me observe, it is a rare man who will give the credit to another.”
“You’re right.” Vic grinned. “What he has achieved far exceeds what he hasn’t achieved, and frankly, if his life would be at risk trying to arrest rich bandits, then I am glad he is focused on improving matters that won’t get him killed.”
“Yes,” Stone stated. “In this situation, Barns is proving to be much smarter than you.”
“What do you mean?” Vic demanded.
“In the matter of survival, you are all too apt to make enemies of dangerous men. And unfortunately, dangerous men never forgive. You have now made enemies of the five most dangerous men in London. We can only hope that your comments are not worth trying to kill Tubs, so they can kill you.”
Vic sighed. “Then I have put Tubs in danger?”
“Yes, you have.”
“Perhaps I should just stay in my house and love my children, because everything I do otherwise just seems to make matters worse.”
“For the present, staying in your house sounds like a very good idea. However, getting you to your house could be a problem. Allow me to call Gregory and ask him to have Casey ready the carriage with Tubs inside ready to shoot any trouble.”
Vic rolled her eyes. “I can run to my house without getting killed.”
“I noticed when the men left, that four carriages drove off, but the fifth carriage belonging to the man you angered only moved a block down the street. I am quite certain the moment you step outside this building you will be shot.”
“I don’t want him shooting Casey!”
“He won’t. He knows you are still over here, and he wants to kill you.”
“So, the best solution is for Tubs to drive by and shoot him,” Stone insisted.
“No!” Vic snapped. “This is my mistake. I will solve it!”
“And how do you plan to do that?” Stone challenged.
“I don’t know. But I do know that Tubs will not die for my foolishness.”
“Then think of a plan,” he ordered.
“Shouldn’t this guy be in Parliament right now?”
“Yes, he should.”
Vic snared his phone and called Barns.
“Barns, do you have anything that the five worst ministers might need to vote upon today?”
“In fact, I do.”
“Can you do it now?”
“No, but I am expected to present it in a half-hour.”
“Excellent! Thank you.” She then hung up and shared Barns reply.
“And how is that going to help you?” Stone asked.
“I expect the weasel will leave soon to make sure he is there to push through a bill. If he decides to remain here, then I’ll go out the back door, sneak up from the backside, and shoot him.”
“Well, let us hope for the first, since your second plan will no doubt get you hung.”
“Good point! What if I dress as a woman, then return through the back and become myself again?”
“Do you have a dress to wear?”
“I do. I keep several in the basement.”
“Then go change.”
The moment Vic was downstairs, Stone rang Gregory’s phone. “Gregory, can you call Tubs to the phone? Vic is about to get himself killed.”
Less than five minutes later, Tubs was on the phone. Upon hearing Vic’s plan, he hung up and hurried to the carriage house where he climbed on the driver’s seat and slowly drove down the road. Locating the man’s carriage was easy, since no one who lived on the street possessed a carriage trimmed in gold. He quickly tied off the reins so Casey’s carriage could easily be retrieved and entered the gold-trimmed carriage, sitting across from the startled, angry man.
“Don’t move, and I won’t kill you. We are just going to have a little talk, and then you can go on your way,” Tubs assured him.
The fellow glared at him. “I have no grief with you, but I will acquire one if you don’t leave now.”
“Excellent idea.” He then ordered the driver to head on to Parliament.
Before the man could resend the order, Tubs pressed his gun to the fellow’s temple. “I don’t want to harm you, but I’ll have no choice if you remain focused on killing Vic. He’s my meal ticket, and I need my meal ticket alive. So, I’m hoping you’ll let his insult slide, because if he dies by anyone’s hands, I’m going to assume you sent them, and I’ll come after you. Are we clear?”
The man nodded in terror.
“Excellent. Then everybody lives. “He then frisked the man and took his gun. “I don’t want you to do anything foolish,” he explained. Then he called the driver to stop and climbed up beside the fellow. “I’ll take the reins from here. You seem to have a nasty cold and should be in bed. So, before I drive him to Parliament, let me take you home so you can feel better. If you don’t take care of yourself, you ain’t gonna live long.”
The man shook his head. “My family is starving. I need the money.”
“How much does he pay you?”
“Two pence.”
“For the entire day? That’s robbery.”
The man sneezed and shrugged his shoulders. Tubs pulled out a pocket of coins and handed it to the fellow.
“I can’t take this.”
“Well, I’m not letting a fellow driver freeze because this rich sop is as cheap as they come. Just tell me where you live, and I’ll drop you off before I take him to Parliament.”
Upon receiving the fellow’s address, he drove him home and gave the man’s wife even more coins, fearing the driver might have a drinking problem. For what sane man would drive someone around for a mere two pence.
Then Tubs headed to Parliament. Instead of parking in the mass of carriages waiting for their owners to leave, Tubs drove to the docks. He parked the carriage with the horses facing the river. He then secured a cabby and went home.
He retrieved Vic from the basement and returned her to their home.
“Did you kill the bad guy?” Vic cheerfully asked.
“No, I did not. I just drove around long enough that he missed the vote on whatever those five wanted to stop.
“That was a very good idea...as long as it worked. What were they voting upon?”
“No idea,” Tubs admitted.
Vic almost complained, but then smiled. “Xavier will know.”
“I imagine so.”
Vic chewed her bottom lip. “Are you angry with me?”
“No, it’s just been a frustrating day. However, I may have scared the man who planned to shoot you sufficiently, that he will leave you alone.”
“How?”
Tubs chuckled. “I told him that you were my meal ticket, and I would kill anyone who killed my meal ticket. That made him reconsider if your slight insult warranted pissing me off. Then I joined the driver up top and took the reins. Upon realizing the driver was very ill, I drove him home. Only after he was settled into bed did I take the fool to Parliament. By that time, all the carriage spaces had been taken, so I drove to the docks nearby instead and secured the horses there. Then I returned home.”
“You walked all the way?”
“No, I took a carriage.
“Well, I see why you didn’t care for much of your day. I’ll ask Gregory to ask the cook if she’ll make an apple pie for you. I know how much you love them.”
“I do, but right now, I think I need a nap.”
Well, that will give the cook time to make your pie,” Vic assured him and gave him a hug.
***
AT SEVEN, WHEN DINNER was called, someone pounded on the door.
“Better put another plate on the table,” Vic suggested.
“Shouldn’t we see who is pounding on our door first? I must assume they are angry, or they would not be so noisy,” Xavier suggested.
“That is true. Gregory, an angry fellow is at the door.”
Xavier frowned at Vic and stood. “I’ll handle the angry person.”
“Sir, opening the front door is my responsibility. Please return to your seat.”
“Tubs you might want to get your gun...just in case they are truly unfriendly,” Vic suggested.
“I suspect it is Barns. He does not approve of me having a gun at all.”
Sure enough, when Gregory answered the door, an angry Barns stood on the other side.
Vic smiled. “Would you like to join us for dinner? Gregory always cooks more than we need to eat.”
“I am here on official business. Tubs, where were you an hour ago?”
“That’s a bit personal,” Tubs grumbled.
“Answer me!”
Tubs studied the young children, all focused on Barns. “Can we send the children to a different room?”
“Just answer the question!” Barns barked.
“Sara!” Tubs yelled. “I need your assistance.”
Soon everyone could hear the pitter-patter of Sara’s shoes. “Is something wrong?” Sara asked.
“No, I just need you to send the kids to the playroom.”
“But we haven’t eaten yet,” Cannon objected. “We are growing boys!”
“And I’m a growing girl,” Maddy declared. “We have to eat, or we’ll stop growing!”
Barns closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. “Tubs, where were you an hour ago?”
Ham laughed and raised his hand. “Mommy and Daddy were playing in their bed.”
Tubs stared at his son. “How do you know that?”
Ham giggled. “I can hear you when you and Mommy play.”
Tubs focused on David. “David, can you thicken the wall, so Ham does not hear us?”
David grinned. “I’ll get to it once we’ve finished dinner.”
“And where were you, Vic?” Barns demanded.
“When exactly?”
“Just go through your day?” Barns demanded.
“Well, let’s see. A whole bunch of rude carriages pulled up in front of our office. It’s a good thing no one wanted our help today. For the jerks who left those carriages had the gall to tell us to leave our office.”
“And who were these men?”
“I’ve no idea what their names were. They didn’t offer their names. As far as I could tell, they just came to bully Stone into doing something he didn’t want to do. Then I got in trouble for being sassy to one of the men.”
“What exactly did you say?” Barns asked.
“I didn’t say anything to him. Tubs warned them to leave in five seconds, so I counted down and kicked the door closed at the count of five.”
Barns looked up at the ceiling. “Tubs, would you like to elaborate?”
“It was the five men who cannot be touched,” Tubs admitted.
Barns rubbed his temple. “What happened?”
“Four of the men left, but the last guy who nearly fell, moved a block down and appeared to be waiting for Vic. So, I entered his carriage and explained to him that Vic was my meal ticket and I would be most upset if I lost my meal ticket. After giving the matter consideration, he agreed that he could let the door incident slide. Then I climbed up by his driver, who was seriously ill, and took the fellow home. Then I dropped the carriage with my passenger at the docks closest to Parliament.”
“Why didn’t you drop him off at the area in front of Parliament?”
“It was plumb full! And to be honest, the man was incoherently drunk by the time I arrived. So, I just left him in his carriage and hailed a cabby.”
“And what time was this?”
“About mid-day, I think.”
“Do you know the name of the cabby who picked you up?”
“In fact, I do. His name is Sammy Tong. He’s Chinese, so if you want to interrogate him, you’ll need to find a translator.”
Barns glared at Tubs, then focused on Gregory.
“Gregory, I expect the total truth out of you. When did Tubs come home?”
Gregory gave the matter great consideration then replied, “It was at 3:02 p.m.”
“And where did he go then?”
“To his bedroom. And if you need further details, may I suggest the two of you find an empty room to discuss this matter. The children do not need to hear about what went on next!”
“I agree!” Vic stated. “Barns, we’ve been very open with you. Can you just tell us why you are so angry with us?”
Barns glared at Vic. “The man who wished to kill you today appears to have run his carriage and horse into the Thames River.”
“Dear God, did the horses die?”
“No, the horses survived, but the fact they did makes me suspect foul play.”
Vic pondered the matter, then smiled. “Because the carriage should have pulled them under, which means someone who loves horses must have jumped into the river and cut them free. If you find out who saved the horses, let me know so I can give them a reward.”
“Vic, do you swear you had nothing to do with this?”
Vic raised her hand. “I swear, I had nothing to do with saving the horses, but had I been there, I would have certainly tried to help save them. And I am serious about the reward.”
Barns sighed in relief. “I am very glad you nor Tubs were anywhere near the dock when this disaster occurred. And I am glad as well that the horses survived.”
“Where did the horses go?” Cannon asked.
“I’ve no idea. I suspect whoever saved them took them. Mind if I check your carriage house?”
“You are very untrusting tonight. In fact, I am close to sending you home without food. However, if you stop being so bad once you check our horses, then you can have our leftovers, if any exist.”
“To hell with it,” Barns muttered and took his seat. “By the time I get home, dinner will be put away, and my butler will be asleep.”
“Then you, sir, need a better butler,” Gregory scolded.
“Well, if you are offering your services, I would gladly accept.”
Everyone at the table, but Barns, objected vociferously.
Finally, Gregory yelled at them to stop their nonsense.
“I’ve a mind to send you home, sir,” he warned.
“So how exactly did this man die?” Vic asked.
“We aren’t sure. Witnesses said the man was highly intoxicated. He also was furious that he had no driver. It appears that he climbed upon the driver’s seat and tried to take the reins, only the horses were confused by his actions. When he grabbed a whip and began slashing at them, they panicked and jumped in the river, with his carriage in tow.”
Vic glared at Barns. “What in that mass of ineptitude did you think we were involved with?”
“I apologize to both of you and Tubs. It’s been a very hard day for me, and I’m clearly not thinking well.”
Vic patted his arm. “I have days like that too, so Tubs and I will forgive you for slandering us with incompetency this time. Just don’t do it again.”
“I give you my word!” Barns assured Vic.