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I shivered and tried to pass off my hysterical tears as ocean water that steadily streamed down my cheeks when Finn unlocked the door to the main floor of his house. My limbs were useless; the adrenaline coursing through my body left me breathless in more ways than the obvious.
Finn was shaken, I could tell, but it was only evidenced by the rapid thrumming of his heart. Other than that, he was Captain Finn – always in charge and never hesitating from a fight. He didn’t set me down, but carried me toward his round bed I’d promised myself I’d never lie in again. His hands dried parts of me as he walked into his bedroom and laid me down. His fingers swept carefully over my convulsing body as too much of the way too much crashed down on me. I was freezing, terrified and knew I’d made the wrong choice in seeking out Finn to take me to Philip. My teeth chattered, and I wasn’t sure if the trembling was from nerves, or the cold that felt deep set in my bones.
When I was dry but still shivering, Finn took off my shoes and socks, kicked his own off and climbed into the bed with me. He pulled the comforter up over us and kissed my eyelids, “You’re safe now. No one can get into my house but me. I told you I’d keep you alive.”
“You d-dropped me in the ocean, you j-jag!”
I couldn’t believe he chuckled at that, but he did. An affectionate smile swept over his features. “I kept you from getting mixed up in the fight. Maugrin’s an elder in the village. You don’t get to live that long without knowing a thing or two about fighting.”
“Your s-soldiers are so a-afraid of you. How come Maugrin wasn’t? Why’d he try and t-take me?”
Finn held my body and rolled onto his back, taking me with the motion so I was lying on top of him, my muscles still locked as fear continued to wash over me. His hands drifted to the backs of my thighs, and he massaged me over my jeans. “Because of these things right here. Legs are a fascination in Dagat. And he wasn’t respectful as he should’ve been because he’s an elder. Makes a man foolhardy to’ve lived that long, escaped death who knows how many times. Makes you feel invincible.” He brought his hand to tap under my chin, tilting it up so he could look into my eyes. “But he went down just as easily as anyone who comes up against me. No one’s invincible, October. Not even you.”
I swallowed hard as we looked into each other’s eyes. I was unable to ignore his words or our solid connection anymore. “I don’t want to die,” I admitted, “but I know it’s a possibility. I know how dangerous it is, what I’m doing. But I also know I can’t live like this. Ollie and Allie didn’t sacrifice everything so I could have a life where I was afraid to go to sleep.”
“And what would they say now if they could see you going off on your own to fight the man who put your sister in a coma?”
I examined the curves of his face, his hard cheekbones that made him look forbidding. I didn’t mean to fixate on his full lips. I touched his short sandy hair that never dared to obscure his handsome face. His green eyes seemed to glow with intensity as he watched me study him. My shivering finally calmed down in his warm embrace under the covers of our own little haven in the middle of the ocean. “Ollie will be mad, but he’d expect nothing less. No one messes with Allie and gets away with it. She’s a good person, and the world doesn’t have enough of those. He’d do the same thing in my position.”
Finn’s adoring expression made me debate between looking away and leaning closer. “It’s your fire that made me fall for you the first time. That very first council meeting where you put us all in our place.”
I glanced around the room I’d spent many nights in, swallowing hard. “I swore I wouldn’t come back here.”
“But you keep coming back to my bed. I admit, I haven’t had much reason to come home. I sleep mostly on the mainland. It’s hard to sleep in my bed without you in it. I don’t like the feel of my house without you to come home to.”
I knew when my mouth opened, I’d choose the wrong words. “I didn’t want to miss you. I try to never think about us at all.” I cleared my throat, my tone sharpening. “But that’s not why I’m here.”
“Whatever the reason, I’m glad you came back.” I wrestled with my two selves until he whispered, “The suns will be up in a couple hours. How about we get a little sleep before we start our journey?”
I shook my head, bracing myself on my hands and knees over his body so I wasn’t laying on him anymore. “No. Pack what you need, and let’s get out of here. If I sleep now, I’ll dreamwalk with either Von or Sama. Sama’s probably pissed I’m taking so long to get to him, and I don’t think I can keep this a secret from Von in our dream space.”
Finn met my eyes, saying too many things that I knew would only be more complicated if he actually opened his mouth. My cheeks felt hot, and I was very aware of how close our bodies were. When he finally spoke, the sultry words were delivered right into the crook of my neck, his lips toying with my body. “You’re not wearing your engagement ring.”
I shouldn’t have shivered, but my neck was my sweet spot, and Finn was playing me like a fiddle. “I didn’t think Sama would be too thrilled about me spending a week with him while still clinging to Von. I took it off so Sama didn’t suspect I wasn’t giving our little trial run a fair shot.”
“Very clever. Let me see the map again.” His fingers were stretching under my nightgown, lifting slowly as I swallowed hard.
Clarity came to me just in time. “No. You already saw it. You don’t need a map to pack a bag, which is what you’re supposed to be doing.” I climbed off of him and stood in the center of his room. “I’m engaged to Von. Ring or not, that’s not going to change. Von’s never done a thing to you. He doesn’t deserve this.”
Finn took his time rising from the bed, puffing out his chest as he towered over me with an unreadable expression. “We both know he’s not enough for you. You’re a conqueror, like me. It’s in our bones. He’s a joker. Utterly useless.”
I narrowed my eyes at Finn and kept my voice deadly quiet. “Do not insult Von in front of me ever again. I’m here for work. Your opinions on my personal life are of no use to me right now. Let me make myself perfectly clear; I don’t care about our past. I don’t care about my engagement. I don’t care about global warming, puppies, kitties, or anything except for killing Philip. All I can think about is putting my knife through his chest. Anything else is white noise.”
Finn stood and returned my glare for a solid five seconds before he backed down, throwing clothes and food into his pack so we could get going. “I’ve got a small boat out back. I could swim myself maybe halfway there, but towing you and our packs, I might not make it even that far. It’ll be slower, but it’s safer this way.”
“Fine. Whatever. Let’s just end him.”