I’ve kissed Adam in many stages of his life. I’ve had his lips as a tentative adolescent, a horny teenage boy, a hesitant virgin, then a sexy man. But this kiss feels new. The slow lick of his tongue along the seam of my lips ignites a shiver down my spine. The groan that rumbles from his throat when I open my mouth strums a beat of thirst between my legs. His tongue strokes mine and I’m lost, feeling as if I’m his favorite dessert and he’s savoring me moment by moment.

I wrap an arm around his neck and press my other hand against his chest. I can’t tell whose heartbeat is faster, his or mine. This kiss is everything I’ve dreamed about since I returned, and my fingers fist his shirt so he doesn’t try to pull away. We’ve been through too much, it’s taken us too long to get here to stop now.

He tears his lips from mine and I groan, but his head falls into the crook of my neck, kissing every inch of my skin as if he’s afraid he’ll miss a spot. “God, you’re fucking delicious.”

“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop,” I beg. My eyes close and my head tilts in whatever direction he dictates. I’m a slave to his touch and his kisses.

“Never. I can’t believe I’ve lasted this long.” He pulls back, his hazel eyes smoldering. Please tell me he isn’t having second thoughts. “Only we would choose the middle of nowhere to start this.”

I jump up and he catches me. “I don’t care, just take me.”

“Here?” He looks around.

There isn’t anyone around for miles, which is the great thing about Alaska. “Yes.”

He grabs my ass and walks me over to the four-wheeler to grab another blanket, then he walks us over to the one already set on the ground. “You’ve always had me tied around your finger.”

“Don’t act like you wanted to go back on that four-wheeler and wait until we get home.”

“I never said that. It’s just you were never a—”

I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and pull him down to me. I don’t want to talk about what the old Lucy liked and didn’t. I want to discover what I like with him now.

We lie down and our hands fiddle with each other’s clothing. I go for the button and zipper on his jeans. He opens my vest and pushes my shirt up and over my head, leaving me in a pale blue bra.

He stares at me for a moment. “Fucking hell, you ruin me every damn time. I’m going to feast on your tits.” His body falls over mine on the blanket, his lips grazing my neck right below my ear. His breath grows heavier in my ear as he grinds his bulge into my core. “We have way too many barriers on.”

He gets up on his knees, unbuttoning my pants and tugging them down my body, but then we realize my boots need to come off first.

“Worst fucking clothes for this,” he mumbles.

He’s cute when he’s flustered and even sexier because he can’t wait to get me naked. I help him by standing, taking off my boots, and shimmying out of my jeans.

“Wait.” He puts up his hand to stop me before I sit back down. “I wish I could snap a picture.”

He reaches behind his head and pulls off his T-shirt, and I’m rewarded with the sight of his hard, muscular chest. Dropping to my knees, I slide my hand down the ridges of his abs, dipping under the elastic waistband of his boxer briefs. His hard, long length weighs heavy in my hands, and he inhales a deep breath and closes his eyes.

Again I’m reminded of all the stages of Adam I’ve been with. The first time I touched his dick, he almost came immediately. I laugh as I remember and ruin the moment between us.

“Why are you laughing while touching my dick?” Even with his question, he’s reaching behind my back and unclasping my bra.

“I was thinking about the first time I touched you.”

“Seriously? Right now you’re having a memory?” He groans, sliding the straps of my bra down my shoulders.

“I can’t control it.”

“You could’ve pretended not to remember when I was a three-pump chump.” His gaze dips to my breasts and he sighs, licking his lips. “I’m remembering the first time I sucked on those. Prepare yourself because I’m going to make up for lost time.”

He gets me on my back, my hand having no choice but to let go of him.

“Get naked first.” I push at his chest. “I want to feel us together.”

“Bossy girl.”

He kisses me one last time, then stands and unties his boots, hops on one leg to get the first one off, then the next. By the time his pants are off, my mouth is watering at the look of him. He’s so… manly. So big everywhere. So muscled. Since the last time I remember being with him was when I was nineteen, it’s like he’s a different person. A very grown-up Adam.

“I think she likes what she sees.” He waggles his eyebrows.

“You’d be right.” I crook my finger and he lies down on top of me, pulling the other blanket over us.

It’s not exactly sunbathing weather out here. Our bare legs slide along one another’s while our naked flesh presses together.

“God, you’re so hard,” I say, not just talking about the bulge pressing against my clit, but his entire body.

“You’re so soft.” His hand runs down my arm and under my ass while grinding against me.

But my pussy needs more. It needs him to fill it, so I widen my legs, hoping he gets the hint that I’m barely hanging on here.

He chuckles and slides down my body, his mouth taking my right breast. Sucking and licking, making good on his promise that he’d spend a good amount of time there. He toys with my nipples, flicking with his tongue, then blowing a light stream of air. My back arches off the ground.

“I don’t need foreplay,” I say, my fingers diving into his hair.

I prop up on my elbows and he looks up at me through those dark eyelashes, a devilish grin in place. “Yeah, we’re not rushing this.”

My head falls back as he kisses down my stomach, nestling between my legs. He masterfully gets my panties off, situating himself so one of my legs is over his shoulder. I’m not going to be able to hold back.

“I should remind you that I haven’t had an orgasm by anyone other than myself in a really long time.”

He doesn’t respond but runs two fingers through my folds before he laps at me. I jolt, my hips unable to control themselves, greedy and begging for more of his attention right where I need it the most.

“Oh god, Adam.”

He blows another hot stream of air over me and shivers run up my spine. As he continues to lick and suck me, I have no control over the noises leaving me. Praises, curses, moans. Nothing has ever felt this fantastic.

“Don’t stop. Ever.”

He releases one hand off my hip then pushes a finger inside me, making my ass catapult off the ground. A deep chuckle vibrates against my pussy, but he doesn’t relent. I grind my clit on his tongue as though I’m starting a fire with two sticks.

And then it comes, that little spark that grows bigger and hotter. I ride it all the way until I’m clenching and crying out, coming so hard I’m way too sensitive for him to continue. I close my legs because all my nerve endings are raw and satisfied now.

He looks up at me through my legs, rising on his knees, and brings his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean. “Just as good as I remember.”

I laugh as he falls over me.

“I have bad news,” he whispers then kisses me. The taste of me on him satisfies a primal need inside me, as though it’s proof that he’s mine.

“What?” I lock my legs around his waist.

“I don’t have a condom with me. I wasn’t thinking this would happen today.”

I stare at him. “What if I told you I have an IUD?”

“I’d probably wonder why, but I’d be happy as fuck right now.” He props up on his elbows and my fingernails scrape along his scalp.

“You know how I’d been on the pill? After the accident, my mom and I decided on an IUD so I wouldn’t have to remember when to take the pill. That’s all. It’s not because I was sexually active with anyone.”

He smooths my hair away from my forehead, and I prepare myself for him to say he doesn’t know if he’s clean. That me breaking him took him down a road of sleeping with numerous women. At the very least he must’ve slept with Alicia.

I hate myself again for ever leaving him and putting us in this awkward situation.

“I haven’t slept with anyone since you,” he says, his eyes locked with mine. “You might not believe me, but I just couldn’t.”

“Alicia?”

He shakes his head. “We never got there. I told you, you destroyed me. I didn’t want anyone. I just wanted you.”

We stay there, gazes fixed on one another’s. How can I be lucky enough to get this guy twice in my lifetime? I must have a kick-ass fairy godmother somewhere.

“Then take me, Adam.”

As though the words are exactly what he was hoping to hear, he pulls down the waistband of his boxer briefs. I help him, and once they’re off, he situates himself between my legs, the tip of his dick right at my opening.

“You sure about this?” he asks.

“Yes.”

He inches in the smallest bit. “Are you okay?”

“I’m not a virgin, remember? You were there.”

A million-dollar smile lands on his face and he thrusts into me so deep and so fast, I gasp.

He grinds into me, circles, and does this thing with his hips that drives the desire right to the forefront, begging to be released. But I clench down, not even close to wanting this to end. I grab his shoulder blades, my nipples scraping along his chest every time he thrusts, sweat beading along his hairline. The blanket slips down to my feet, but my body is heated anyway.

He drives in and out of me, building my climax until I won’t be able to hang on much longer.

“I can’t. I’m going to,” I pant, tightening my thighs and arching my back, my body screaming for the release.

“There’s more to come, let it go,” he says.

Every muscle in my body tenses, my orgasm ripping through my shaking body.

“Fuucck,” he growls.

He fucks me hard and fast without abandon until he gasps and rocks inside me one final time before his body tightens above me and he growls. Once he’s spent himself inside me, he lowers down on top of me, not giving me all his weight. I close my eyes and tilt my head to the side, exhausted even from being on the bottom.

He places his finger on my cheek and forces me to look at him. “You okay?”

I smile and lean up to kiss him, full of joy. “I’m perfect.”

“Me too.” He falls to my side and we lie facing the sun, completely naked.

Although I didn’t want to talk about my memories or anything that came with them today, this is the most progress we’ve made so far. Adam’s resilience amazes me. If only what had happened could disappear, I might finally feel at peace.