A short time later. Barbara still sits at the table, her back to the kitchen door.
From the kitchen comes Richard, followed by his sisters. He is gesturing to them not to make a noise. He is “tiptoeing.” Jane goes around the table so she will be able to see Barbara’s face.
Richard approaches Barbara from behind. As he grabs her shoulder:
RICHARD: I need your vote!!
(Barbara screams.)
BARBARA: What?!! (She is shaken)
JANE (Trying to calm her): It’s Richard.
MARIAN (Over this): Richard’s here early.
BARBARA (Over this, gasping for breath, to Richard, very upset): What? Oh, fuck you! Fuck you, Richard! Jesus Christ.
RICHARD: What did I do?
BARBARA: Don’t you ever do that to me!
MARIAN: I told him you weren’t going to like it.
JANE (To Barbara): I told him too.
RICHARD: I’m sorry. (To Jane) You thought it would be—
BARBARA (To Richard): Fuck you. What the hell are you doing? You scared the hell out of me.
RICHARD: I didn’t mean—
JANE (To Richard): What were you thinking?
RICHARD: I—
BARBARA: For Christ sake! (Calming a little) It’s five in the morning. You’re not supposed to be—
RICHARD: I know. I came early. Was that wrong?
BARBARA (Over the end of this): It’s not time to take Benjamin yet. They’re not ready for him—
MARIAN (Over the end of this): I told him not to. Jane thought it’d be funny.
RICHARD: I didn’t think I’d scare you that much.
BARBARA (Takes a big deep breath): My god . . . Jesus. So—how are you Richard? Welcome home.
RICHARD: I’m fine. Nice to be here. Nice to be welcomed with open arms.
BARBARA: It’s like five in the morning.
RICHARD: I know. I’m sorry, Barbara. Get over it. Nice to see you too.
BARBARA: Now you’re pissed at me?? (To their sisters) That doesn’t seem fair. Does it?
(Neither wants to answer that.)
What are you doing here?
RICHARD: You asked me to come as soon as I got back—
BARBARA: I mean right now. At five in the fucking morning.
RICHARD: Language, Barbara.
JANE (Over this): He said he’s jet-lagged. (To Richard) She’s a little on edge.
BARBARA: I’m not—“on edge.” Let’s start again. Welcome home, Richard. We’ve been waiting for you.
(They hug.
Then:)
RICHARD: By the way, I haven’t had breakfast.
JANE: Who are you saying this to?
MARIAN: There’s the kitchen.
RICHARD: Come on, I’ve been staying in a hotel for two months, I’ve gotten used to someone making me breakfast.
MARIAN: Is he serious?
JANE: And what does your wife say about that?
RICHARD: I haven’t told her yet. (Then) I’m joking. It was a joke.
MARIAN: No, you’re not. He’s not.
RICHARD: I can get my own breakfast. I assume that’s all right? I’ll get it. I’m sorry I’m early, Barbara. And I’m sorry I made a joke. I just woke up. Pamela rolled over and took one look at me and said—go to your sisters. They can’t wait to see you. (Smiling) I guess she was wrong.
(He laughs. No response to that.)
MARIAN (To Jane): It wasn’t a joke.
RICHARD: I’d thought I’d wait in the car. I wasn’t going to wake you. But the lights were on.
BARBARA: Everybody’s up.
RICHARD: I can see that. And why is everyone up?
JANE: I don’t know why I’m doing this—but I’ll get your damn breakfast.
RICHARD: I’m not asking—
BARBARA: There’s a stale bagel in the bread box.
RICHARD: That’s fine. I’m happy with that! Anything stale is fine.
JANE: You are so spoiled, Richard. He always was.
(She “smacks” him on the stomach, he pretends to smack her back—something they did as kids.)
How do you want your eggs?
MARIAN: He likes them scrambled.
JANE: Why did I know that too? (To Richard) Do you know how I like my eggs?
MARIAN (To Richard): Do you?
(No response. Jane starts to go.)
JANE: You still can’t drink grapefruit juice?
RICHARD: I can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t.
(Jane goes off to the kitchen. Awkward pause.)
I am very sorry, Barbara, that I scared you so much.
MARIAN: It’s cold. She’ll get you coffee too. Just like a hotel. Sit down.
(Richard sits. Barbara and Marian begin to straighten up the table.)
BARBARA (Explaining the mess): We’ve been up all night.
MARIAN (Nodding toward where Jane exited): Tim’s in Chicago. (Amazed) He got a part in a play.
RICHARD: He emailed me—
MARIAN: Someone pulled out at the last second.
RICHARD: He sounded excited.
MARIAN (Over half of this): He already knew the part. Jane said he had to pay his own way out there.
RICHARD: Why would he have to do that?—
BARBARA: How was the flight?
RICHARD: Fine.
BARBARA: And the kids? Pamela said they loved getting out of school last week.
RICHARD: I saw them for like two seconds. You said you needed me here the moment I got back, Barbara—
(Benjamin has appeared in yesterday’s clothes, stocking feet; this stops Richard.)
BARBARA: It’s Richard.
BENJAMIN: I know it’s Richard.
RICHARD: Benjamin.
BENJAMIN: How do you do, son?
BARBARA: He’s your nephew.
BENJAMIN: I know.
(Barbara looks at Richard. Benjamin sees this.)
(To Barbara, very insistent) I know it’s Richard!
(Richard is surprised by this. He shares a look with Marian.)
MARIAN: He was just in England for months, Uncle.
RICHARD: Two. Two months.
MARIAN: We haven’t seen him for two months.
(Benjamin looks at Richard, then:)
BARBARA: You worked a lot in England, Benjamin.
BENJAMIN: Did I?
RICHARD: Good to see you, Uncle. Very good to see you. You’re looking well.
(Richard goes to hug Benjamin, but stops, they shake hands, awkward moment. Richard tries to laugh it off.)
MARIAN: Benjamin’s been watching his own movies. It’s been an all-night marathon. Hasn’t it? How many of your movies did you end up watching, Uncle? (To Richard) We gave up after three . . .
Who else wants breakfast? Jane’s making Richard eggs.
BENJAMIN: What about dinner? I’ve been waiting forever for dinner.
BARBARA (A little fed up): We had dinner, Benjamin. It’s five, almost five-thirty, in the morning.
BENJAMIN: I didn’t have any dinner.
(Marian and Richard share a look: “See what it’s been like?” Then:)
MARIAN: We had Chinese food. From your favorite place. China Rose? You went with me to pick it up. (To Richard) We stood on their patio and looked at the river. (To Benjamin) And you had a smoke? (To Richard) Barbara had cooked him a whole dinner—
BARBARA: His favorite.
MARIAN: Then he wanted takeout . . .
BARBARA: I don’t care.
BENJAMIN: Where’s the Chinese food?
MARIAN (To Barbara): Cold?
BARBARA (Shrugs): Cold. (To Benjamin) Okay?
BENJAMIN: It’s from my favorite place?
MARIAN: You want chopsticks, Uncle?
(Marian goes without waiting for an answer, passing Jane, who is returning from the kitchen.)
BARBARA (About the mess): Maybe I should . . . We’ve been up all night.
RICHARD: You said.
(Barbara begins to clear things.)
JANE: What do you want with your eggs, Richard?
RICHARD: I don’t need anything else.
JANE: Barbara has bagels. They’re fresh. And there’s cereal.
(Richard is watching Barbara.)
I’ll get cereal. Barbara has all kinds of cereal.
BARBARA (Correcting her): Barbara and Marian . . .
RICHARD: I don’t care . . .
Shouldn’t we sit down at the table, Uncle?
(Benjamin looks to Barbara.
Jane goes back into the kitchen.)
BARBARA (Touching Benjamin on the shoulder): Sit down with Richard.
(Benjamin shakes her hand off him. Richard watches this. He “sees” the puzzle.)
RICHARD: Who’s been doing a puzzle?
BARBARA: We keep giving up.
RICHARD: You’ve hardly done anything. (Big smile) You need me!
BARBARA: You were never any good at puzzles, Richard.
RICHARD (Ignores her, looks at the box, reads): “The Luncheon of the Boating Party.” I didn’t know you liked puzzles, Uncle.
(Short pause.)
BARBARA (Suddenly, as she goes into the kitchen): I’ll help bring things in . . .
RICHARD: If eggs are a problem—
BARBARA: What about an egg roll?
(She is gone.
Richard and Benjamin are alone.)
RICHARD (To say something): You look good.
BENJAMIN: Thank you.
(Then:)
RICHARD: Rhinebeck seems to have dodged the bullet.
BENJAMIN: A bullet?
RICHARD: The hurricane. I think I saw like one tree down.
BENJAMIN: Uh-huh.
(Then:)
RICHARD: I just got home. Last night about five. (Smiles) Stupidly I turned on the TV. (Smiles, then) All the noise, right? Doesn’t it drive you crazy? You must really be sick of it.
BENJAMIN: Of what?
RICHARD: The noise. The election. I’m really happy I’ve been away for two months.
A lot of lawn signs out in Rhinebeck. I noticed that right away. Even in the dark—There seems to be a guy running up here named “Gibson” with a “B.” And another guy running named “Gipson” with a “P.” (Smiles) I suppose that’s a difference . . .
BENJAMIN (Gestures): Could I have some wine?
RICHARD (Looks toward the kitchen): Is that all right?
(Richard changes the subject, Benjamin just looks at him.)
I don’t think I could vote for Gillibrand even if my life depended upon it. (Smiles) Don’t they trust us to have elections in New York anymore? Thank you, Mr. Schumer.
(Barbara and Marian return with glasses, orange juice, plates, etc.)
Benjamin wants some wine.
(Without hesitating, Barbara reaches and takes the bottle and hands it to Richard.)
BARBARA (As she picks up a glass, to Benjamin): I think this is your glass.
(She sets it on the table, Richard pours.)
(To Richard) Good flight?
RICHARD: You already asked that.
BARBARA (Not listening): I’ll bet Pamela and the kids were happy to see you.
RICHARD (Handing Benjamin his wine): I brought gifts. (Smiles) To make sure.
BARBARA: I’m sure that was the only reason.
RICHARD: That was a joke.
BARBARA: Pamela said on the phone the kids were driving her crazy. What with no school.
(Benjamin has sat down at the table.)
BENJAMIN: Where’s the Chinese food?
MARIAN: It’s coming.
RICHARD (Smiles): I was eager to see all of you.
BARBARA (Setting the table): You going to sit there? We expected you around ten.
RICHARD: Where do you want me to sit?
BARBARA: I don’t care.
RICHARD: I woke up, Barbara . . . You want me to go out, drive around Rhinebeck and come back at ten? I’m sorry.
(Barbara sits down at the card table.
Richard looks at her and at Benjamin. He turns to Marian:)
How’s school? (He watches Benjamin drink his wine)
MARIAN: I’m teaching third grade this year. So I have a lot of the same kids as last year. That’s mostly good.
BARBARA: Marian’s talking about quitting teaching.
RICHARD (To Marian): You’ve talked like that before. What would you do?
(Jane enters with some bagels, cereal, etc.)
JANE: What are we talking about?
(Jane sets out food.)
BARBARA (To say something): Tim’s trying to convince Jane to move to Rhinebeck.
JANE: He is.
RICHARD (To Barbara): She mentioned this in an email. I think she has some concerns about this. Jane’s a city girl, aren’t you?
BARBARA: Tim’s trying to get his daughter full-time. That’s a lot to ask of Jane.
(Marian moves the milk pitcher to Richard.)
MARIAN: This is skim. It’s all we’re allowed to have in the house now.
RICHARD (To Barbara): What do you mean?
MARIAN: Karen’s been up three, four times. She’s a terrific kid. Ten years old. I love that age. All downhill after that. (Smiles) I’ve given her some of Evan’s old toys and books and things. (Smiles)
JANE: And clothes. You kept everything.
RICHARD: I’m sure Karen liked that.
JANE (“Are you crazy? Of course”): She’s ten years old. (To Barbara) You going to have breakfast? It seems like we’re having breakfast. I’ll get you the cold Chinese food, Uncle.
BENJAMIN: Thank you.
(Jane goes. Richard starts to eat.
Marian and Barbara sit and begin to pick at things as:)
BARBARA: Richard, when Benjamin was filming one of his movies . . . (To Benjamin) Right?
BENJAMIN: What—?
BARBARA: We watched it tonight. You told us about this. Sometimes it just comes out of him, Richard. You think he doesn’t remember and then . . .
BENJAMIN: What movie?
(Barbara tries to take Benjamin’s hand. He won’t let her. Richard watches this closely.)
BARBARA: You’re in a big water tank—like a swimming pool. Only much bigger. The Columbus movie, Benjamin.
(Jane returns with the Chinese food, still in the little white takeout containers.)
When you were in Malta. (To the others) He did that whole movie in Malta. (To Benjamin) You were telling us about it tonight. (To Jane) Wasn’t he? (To Benjamin) And . . .? Come on.
MARIAN: Barbara . . .
BARBARA: He knows it. He does.
BENJAMIN: The director?
BARBARA: That’s right! That’s right. (She’s very pleased, too pleased; then to Richard) That’s right. It’s very funny. He has so many amazing stories.
RICHARD: He always did.
BENJAMIN: The director . . .
BARBARA: And . . .? And what? (Prompting him) He’s in a little boat. Remember? With a megaphone. In the big water tank. In Malta!
MARIAN: Barbara—
BARBARA (To Benjamin): And you said he shouts back through his megaphone to all of you actors gathered on the side of the ship. (To Richard) The Santa Maria. He remembered that earlier tonight. He just remembers. A lot more than you think.
BENJAMIN: He says . . .
BARBARA: Go ahead. You remember.
BENJAMIN: Says . . .
BARBARA (Jumps in): “Okay, body in the water. All very sad. All very sad. All very sad.” He’s telling them to act very sad. (She “laughs”)
BENJAMIN: “All very sad.”
BARBARA: Then, what? “Shark! Horrible!” And you’re all supposed to now act “feel horrible.”
(She “laughs.” Richard forces a smile.)
RICHARD: That’s very funny, Uncle.
JANE (To Benjamin, pointing): Moo shu pork. Egg rolls in there. I ate all the vegetarian ones. Sorry. (To Richard) I’ll get your eggs. (She goes)
RICHARD: So that was one of the movies you were just watching? The Columbus movie?
BENJAMIN (Checking out the Chinese food): I don’t know.
(Richard looks to Marian who nods.)
RICHARD: I liked that movie. Didn’t we all see that together? At the Ziegfield, I think.
MARIAN: I saw it in Kingston at the mall. With Adam.
RICHARD: Maybe it was just Jane and her husband.
MARIAN: It wasn’t me.
BARBARA (Another effort to engage Benjamin): He likes to watch them over and over. He seems endlessly fascinated by himself. (She is trying to tease him) Aren’t you? Actors . . .
(She smiles. He ignores her.
Barbara starts to serve Benjamin, putting the food on a plate.
Jane enters with the eggs as:)
BENJAMIN (Pushing Barbara’s hand away, and a bit harsh): I can do it.
(This is noticed by all, especially Richard.)
MARIAN (To Jane): He’s tired.
BARBARA (To Benjamin): Of course you can.
(As she watches Benjamin serve himself, spilling a little on the tablecloth:)
Someone in town asked Uncle if he wanted to be in A Christmas Carol this year. Didn’t they? (About the tablecloth) It’s dirty already. (She moves a box closer to help him) To play the Ghost of Christmas Future. That part doesn’t have any lines. But it’s a good role. Very good. People here in Rhinebeck, they know all he’s done. We even went to one rehearsal. (She is serving him now) You could tell it was a big thing for them. Benjamin Apple being there. Someone even asked for his autograph. And he was—amazing.
RICHARD: I’ll bet.
BARBARA: Incredible. Scared the living daylights out of Scrooge and all of us. Didn’t you? Just by the looks he gave. (Smiles at Benjamin)
RICHARD: I can picture it.
JANE: I forgot the jelly— (She starts to go)
RICHARD: I don’t need—
BARBARA: Then—he wouldn’t go back.
(Jane stops to listen.)
I told him he can still rehearse every weekend. This doesn’t change that. He’s going to be here every weekend. I don’t think he understands that, Richard. Maybe you can help. Maybe he’ll listen to you. I’ve promised to pick him up every Friday after I finish school.
JANE (Gently): Talk to him, Barbara.
BARBARA: I have!
(This stops everyone. Then:)
Beacon’s only forty-five minutes away. Fifty in traffic. And he can spend Friday night, and all day Saturday and most of Sunday. The Rhinebeck theater society was fine with that.
The Ghost of Christmas Future is only in a couple of scenes. (As a joke) And he already knows his lines. (Smiles)
(Benjamin reaches for his glass of wine.)
(As she pushes it away) It’s morning, Uncle. You don’t really want that, do you?
BENJAMIN (Explodes): Will you fucking leave me alone?!!
(Pause.)
RICHARD (Stunned, confused): Benjamin?!
JANE (To Richard): Leave it, Richard.
How was London?
(The lights fade.)