October 19
Twenty-Four Years Ago
11:00 P.M.
Stacey lived in one of the biggest houses Leo had ever seen. From afar, it looked almost like a castle, up on a hill, with a huge circular driveway. Leo had never been in this neighborhood before, and tried not to feel intimidated by the size and scale of the place. The house was surrounded by acres of trees, and she couldn’t imagine what it was like, to have no neighbors on either side, to have all that space, all that land, to yourself and your family. Where she and Mish lived, people were crammed so tightly in a small space, there wasn’t enough room for all of them, their pets, and all their junk. This is what it meant to be rich, to be wealthy, to have so much of everything, even air—it felt like there was more oxygen up here, like the air was cleaner (it was).
Brooks parked the car and they walked toward the house; they could hear the muffled sound of rap music coming from inside. Leo headed toward the front door, but Brooks shook his head. “Party’s out in the guesthouse. Stacey’s not dumb enough to have everyone in their main house; her parents would freak.”
He led them through the side gate, out toward the pool, which was covered for the season. The guesthouse was a smaller version of the main house, but its doors were open to the night, and its porch was filled with popular teens from their school, all the hot seniors, and even a few freshmen. Leo felt as if there was a spotlight on her as everyone craned to see who had arrived.
Mish seemed to know everyone, as she waved and said hello to several people standing in bunches, holding cans of beer, a few of the girls holding bottles of wine coolers. There was a Styrofoam ice chest full of drinks near the door, and Brooks added the remaining beers to the party haul. An entrance fee, or simply an offering to the party gods. A few more soccer players arrived and did the same thing.
Leo hung back, not quite sure where she fit in. She’d wanted so badly to be at this party and now she had no idea where to go. She didn’t belong anywhere, and it would be weird to hang out with the kids from her class when they didn’t hang out at school. She tried to appear nonchalant and casual, but it was hard when everyone was engaged in conversation, or laughing, or playing some kind of drinking game on the Ping-Pong table.
“You made it!”
Leo turned to see Shona Silverstein, grinning widely and holding out her arms for a hug.
“Oh hey!” said Leo.
“I thought you guys weren’t going to stop by?” said Shona.
“Yeah, well, we changed our minds!” said Leo brightly. “Cool party.”
“There she is!” said Mish, running over to give Shona a big bear hug from behind. “We’re here!”
Shona laughed and almost spilled her drink. You’d think from the way she and Mish were acting they’d known each other forever.
“What’s been up? What did you guys do tonight?” asked Shona.
“Not much. We hit the DQ, then Sparkle,” said Mish, sounding a bit smug and as if they went to nightclubs any old day.
Shona was impressed. “You guys got in? Who was playing?”
Leo shrugged; she couldn’t remember.
“Well, welcome, you guys haven’t missed much,” said Shona with a giggle.
“Should we say hi to Stacey?” Leo suggested.
Shona stared at her like it was the dumbest thing she’d ever heard. “Why?”
Leo colored. Her mom had brought her up to say hello to the host. She’d always drilled manners into her daughter’s head. But it was clear she didn’t know the first thing about high school parties.
“Half the people here don’t even know whose party this is,” said Mish.
“Pretty much,” said Shona. “Besides, Stacey’s passed out in the Jacuzzi upstairs. I’m supposed to make sure no one goes in the main house.”
Mish went to see where Brooks had gone, and Leo followed Shona into the guesthouse. Even in miniature, the place was bigger than her own house. It was two stories, with a full kitchen and dining room. In the living room, a few guys were playing video games on the television and Shona led Leo upstairs to the two bedrooms. A strong smell of pot wafted from the first closed door. “Drug room,” explained Shona. “You want?” she asked, so casually that Leo understood there was no right or wrong answer to this question.
Leo shook her head.
“Let’s see what’s happening in here,” her erstwhile host decided, knocking on the next bedroom door. “Hello!” said Shona.
They found a group of kids sitting in a circle with an empty wine cooler bottle in the middle, including Dave Griffin, from earlier at the mall. He looked up when they entered the room but didn’t say hello.
“Oh my god, are you guys serious? What is this, middle school?” said Shona. “You’re playing truth or dare?”
“Shut up, Shona!” yelled one of the girls.
A few of the boys laughed. “I don’t remember Andie flashing her tits in middle school,” said one of them.
“She didn’t have tits in middle school, that’s why,” said Dave.
Andie, who was pulling her shirt down over her bra, stuck her tongue out at them. She crawled to the middle and spun the bottle.
It pointed at Leo.
“Truth or dare?” Andie demanded.
“Oh, I’m not playing,” said Leo.
“Yeah, it’s her birthday,” said Shona. “Leave her alone.”
“It’s your birthday?”
“I thought it was Stacey’s birthday?” someone said.
As if in answer, the door opened just then, and Mish and Brooks walked in. Mish was holding a plate of cupcakes, with a few candles stuck to the middle of one. Leo could see an S on another one. They were leftover birthday cupcakes from someone else’s birthday, but on the other hand, they were the only birthday cupcakes she would get this evening.
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you,” Mish began to sing, and everyone else joined in.
She held the plate out and Leo leaned over.
“Wait!” said Mish. “You have to make a wish!”
Leo thought about it. Would she wish the night was over? Would she wish these were her friends? For another life? Other memories? She made her wish and blew out the candles.
Mish brought out her camera again and asked Shona to take a photo of the three of them. Leo held up her cupcake, Brooks and Mish on either side of her.
“There you go,” said Shona, handing Mish back her camera and handing Leo the photo. “Cute.”
Leo waved it a few times, watching as the picture slowly developed. There they were, the three of them. She grimaced. Was that what she really looked like? She should brush her hair, and she’d thought she looked so cute at the beginning of the night, but now she just looked tired.
“Ew, I look awful,” she said.
Brooks took it from her hand. “I think we look great,” he said, and put it in his pocket.
“Um, what if she wanted that?” Mish scolded.
“You want it?”
“No, you can keep it,” Leo told him. She liked that he wanted to have a picture of her, something to remember her by.