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I'M ON THE EDGE OF a cliff and I'm afraid to breathe.
She's here. She with me. I'm finally touching my woman again, and for the first time in my life, I am fucking scared.
She shifts, and I'm afraid she's going to get up and kick me out. Instead, she straddles me, that moist heat right where I need it most. "You have to be honest with me. From now on. If I can ever learn to trust in you...in myself...again...you can't keep things from me."
Something that feels like sunshine lights up inside my chest. Is she going to give me another chance? "Baby, whatever you want. I promise."
"I don't ever want to feel like that again. I don't want to wonder if you're just acting or doing something because you think it's the honorable thing to do. I want you to want me. Just me."
I open my palm, and she gasps. "Put this fucking ring on and you will never, ever doubt me again. I promise."
She lets out a watery laugh. "That's a pretty romantic proposal."
"You never said you wanted romance."
"You've been holding that since you got here?"
I nod. God. If this doesn't work. I don't think I can go back to a world without her in it. "I know I don't deserve you. If Cam were here..."
"If Cam were here, he would kick your ass. And then he would give you a beer and tell you all the ways you aren't allowed to screw up with me. And then he would give you his blessing because he loved you, Graden. Just like I love you."
"I'm not on the rig anymore. They transferred me to an office job. I kept the condo, but if you'd rather live in a house or a treehouse or a cave, you just tell me and we'll move." I look around. "Maybe not here though."
She laughs. "You do look a little ridiculous with all this lace."
"Put on the fucking ring." I clear my throat. "Please."
"You can be a little domineering, you know."
"A little?" I take her hand and put the ring on it myself. It looks real good. I feel like I can breathe again when she doesn't tear it off. "You like it when I'm domineering." I'm going to remember this moment for the rest of my life. "You like it when I tell you what to do."
"In bed, yes. Try it anywhere else, I dare you."
Adrenaline rushes through me like I've just walked away from an explosion and my hands start to shake. "I came so close to losing you. I don't think I'm man enough to go through that ever again."
I squeeze her hard. Probably too hard. Her curves fit into my hands like they were made to be there. She arches into my hold on her. My goddess. Mine.
"We don't have to go fast. If you want to wait for the wedding. For the babies. I get it. I rushed us last time. I brought condoms. Just in case. I mean, I don't expect you to have sex with me tonight. We can. I just don't want you to think I expect it."
Jesus. I sound like a real idiot.
"I don't want to go slow." She rolls her hips over my erection. "I feel like my life has been on hold until right now. I want it all. I'm ready if you are."
"I changed my mind about going slow. Babe, I need to fuck you." I won't feel right again until I do. Until I'm deep inside her. I can't think straight now. I squeeze her plump ass and groan. "Right now."
She's undoing my jeans and we maneuver enough to get them down to my ankles without unseating that hot pussy. She grinds on me, the friction of the silky panties feels good. But not as good as the vise of her cunt is going to feel.
I grasp one string on her hip and yank, tearing the fabric to her astounded gasp. "I'll buy you new ones."
And then she's sliding up and down my length and I'm lost in her eyes. I know we are both trying to prolong this, but I need inside her. I still her and notch myself at the gates of heaven. "You sure you don't want a condom?"
Please say...
"No condom."
Thank God.
Rebecca slides down my pole slowly, and we both groan. She is so wet and juicy. When she's seated all the way, when my balls are touching her ass, she starts undulating those womanly hips in slow circles. I look down at where we are joined, her sweet lips stretched tight around my girth, and I bite my lip to keep myself from ramming hard. The air is sawing in and out of me like I want my cock in her to be doing.
Nothing has ever felt like this before. Not even our first time. Because there are no secrets between us now. I'm not behind the scenes controlling her life. She chose me. She can survive without me, but she doesn't want to.
She pulls the hem of my shirt up, so I help her get it off me. She leans over and flicks one of my nipples with her tongue, and my hips arch off the couch. "Becks," I warn.
Then she bites it.
"Fuck," I roar, digging my fingers into her hips, I let go of my restraint.
I'm fucking her hard and she's taking it, making this sweet keening sound I feel in my bones. She tilts her head back and holds on to me like she's riding a bull.
And then she surrenders.
She's pulling me deeper inside, milking me. The feminine rhythm is so beautiful and wild. I can't stop myself from joining her, filling her up with the essence of who I am and what I was made to do. Fuck, if we aren't making a baby right now. And the thought brings another pulse from my dick.
She's mine. I smooth my thumb down the column of her throat and feel her erratic pulse there. Her eyes fly open and a secret smile graces her pretty face.
"I love you, Rebecca. I swear you'll never doubt that another day of your life. I know I suck at relationship stuff. But I'll spend the rest of my life trying to get better."
"I love you, Graden. And I don't think you suck as bad as you think you do."
She rolls her hips and I start to harden again. "You think I can get through this whole night without pulling out of you once?"
She reaches back and unties her sweet nightie, pulling it off and showing me that body that's haunted my dreams since she walked away. I latch on to one breast and quit talking for a while.