I awoke, rigid with terror. There was cold bright light everywhere, and I was alone.
Am I hurt?
Am I dead?
“Mary!” I cried out. “Mary!”
There was no answer. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I understood that my sister was gone.
Or maybe I should say that I was gone.
I wasn’t in the baron’s castle anymore. I was in the quiet room on Ward 6.
I didn’t know what time it was, or even what day it was. I only knew that I was lying half on the bare floor and half on a thin, hard mattress.
I sat up and put my hand to my cheek, feeling the unbroken smoothness of my skin. There was no gash, no blood.
It’s because the other world isn’t real, Hannah: that’s what everyone told me.
They were wrong. It was real. It was real and true and I needed to go back. I needed to make sure Mary was okay.
But I couldn’t get there by wishing, no matter how hard I tried. I’d have to wait until the way into that world opened up again.
I just never knew when that would be.
I plugged my ears so I could yell as loud as I could. “Get me out of here!”
Pretty soon I heard footsteps coming down the hall. A few seconds later, the concerned face of the new hospital intern appeared in the window. What was his name again? His black hair tumbled over his forehead, and he pushed it back with the easy grace of habit.
“Are you okay?” His voice was muffled through the door.
Do I look okay? I thought. “I need help,” I said. “I need to get out of here.”
“I talked to Dr. Klein,” the intern said. “She says you’ll see your therapist this afternoon. Do you need PRN meds? I can ask Nurse Amy…”
PRN stood for pro re nata, or “as needed.” In other words, did I want a blast of tranqs or something? The answer was no.
“I don’t want pills and I don’t want to see Dr. N!” I said. “I want to…” I paused. How could I possibly explain it to him?
I closed my eyes. I just wanted to go back to Mary. But I couldn’t make it happen, and I hated feeling so helpless. Tears pricked hot behind my eyelids. When they spilled over, I opened my eyes and wiped them away.
“What’s the matter, Hannah?” the intern asked. He actually sounded concerned. Not like Mitch, who’d just wave to me through the window as he walked by on his rounds, like, Have a nice day, nutjob!
I couldn’t stand being alone in here. So I said, “Come inside and I’ll tell you.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he said.
“Well, the last time I saw you, you were fighting the staff.”
I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “I’m not going to attack you,” I said, “if that’s what you’re worried about.” I held up the first three fingers of my right hand. “Scout’s honor. Anyway, you could totally take me in a fight. You’re a foot and a half taller than I am.”
He gave a nervous smile. “I just… I think you’re supposed to be taking it easy.”
That made me laugh. Take it easy? In the quiet room? A person could go seriously insane in here.
But I could tell my weird sense of humor wasn’t helping my case, so I sat down on the mattress and smiled as reassuringly as I could at him. Was that sympathy I saw in those agate eyes? I hoped so.
“Please come in,” I said. “I need you to understand. I think you might be the only one who can.”