Jacob sat on the floor with Casey, toys scattered across the small living room. The irritating melody of Casey’s stuffed bear was ringing in his ears. She kept pressing its paw every time the racket stopped, making it begin over again. The outdated television in the corner danced with cartoons and music of its own.
How he missed the quiet of home. Rhoda told him last night he needed to stay away because the blogger would be coming and going from the farm over the next few weeks. How could he stand being away that much longer?
He wasn’t sure he could, and that had him rethinking his stance about hiding.
Sandra was home from work and standing at the oven in the adjoining kitchenette, making grilled cheese sandwiches.
“Now you.” Casey passed her toy bear to Jacob, her toothy grin reminding him of Rhoda’s niece Arie. He pressed the bear’s paw, and the melody started up again. Casey’s grin widened, and she bobbed her head back and forth in a clumsy, exuberant dance.
He raised his voice, making sure Sandra could hear him. “I really liked that girl we just interviewed.”
“I guess.” Sandra seemed reluctant to hire anyone, but she needed a backup sitter. She turned her head from the frying pan. “She was okay. But my regular sitter will be well in a few more days. Can’t you just wait?”
He resisted the urge to scream “No!”
“You need a backup sitter, Sandra, and now you have one. Put her to good use. She needs the hours, and I know she’ll be a good one.”
Casey took her bear back and hugged it while staring at the television. Jacob stood and stretched as he walked to the window. It was easy to forget sometimes how lucky he and his family were, but the area surrounding Sandra’s apartment practically screamed at him to go home.
The paint around the windows was thick, caked from years of painting. The chipped spots revealed decades of layers. Should he stay and replace some of the scratched and cracked panes inside the warped frames? The place constantly lost heat, but he wasn’t sure replacing the glass would make any difference. The whole window needed maintenance and winterizing. But what about what he needed—to go home?
The pitiful condition of the window, however, was nothing compared to what lay beyond. The parking lot below was filled with playing children, none of them supervised by parents, and many of them looking hungry or tired. Although currently covered with patches of snow, the asphalt was cracked and pocked with potholes with no noticeable painted lines for parking spaces. Jacob wouldn’t be surprised if it hadn’t been repainted since the complex was built in the late sixties.
He could still hear Rhoda’s soft whisper coming through Sandra’s cell phone: “You need to stay there, Jacob. We’re okay without you. Stay safe and hidden.”
She’d told him that a week ago. He stared out the window, hunting for answers he couldn’t find, not out there. The surrounding town was like many of the three Ts—train track towns—he had seen during his travels. A few old buildings and warehouses with boarded windows made up the majority of the area. In fact, Sandra was lucky to be on the side of the tracks that still had an open pharmacy within a block and a pediatrician’s office run by an older physician just a few blocks farther down.
Despite the prescriptions and round-the-clock care Sandra had received, Jacob had ended up taking Sandra to the emergency room a few days later, and she had been admitted into the hospital with pneumonia. She’d been released in time for Christmas, but she’d spent the day unable to do anything but sleep and sip a little broth.
But now Sandra was back at work, being an in-home care provider for an elderly woman on the richer side of town. Things were more normal, and if Sandra hired the girl to help take care of Casey, she wouldn’t need him. The only thing on his mind was his desperate desire to get back home to Rhoda.
“Okay, baby girl,”—Sandra held up a plate—“come eat.”
Casey toddled over to the small table with mismatched chairs, one of which contained a booster seat. Her mother set her in it and presented her with diagonally cut quarters of a grilled cheese sandwich with the crust removed.
Jacob checked the clock on the stove. It was seventeen minutes fast. He had figured that out as soon as he’d stepped into the place, but he didn’t know how to reset it.
He had been calling Rhoda at night when Casey and Sandra most often slept—around midnight. Even that wasn’t fair to Rhoda, but she hadn’t complained or missed one of his calls.
“Jacob,”—Sandra knocked on the table, grabbing his attention—“stop watching the clock and come eat.”
Could he reach Rhoda if he called now? If she or anyone on the farm was in the barn or near it, maybe on their way in from the orchard to eat lunch, he could catch them. “I was thinking I might try to reach Rhoda.”
“Of course you were.” She grinned and pulled her phone from her pocket.
“She wants me to stay here, said that woman I told you about will be coming in and out over the next couple of weeks.”
Sandra pulled the phone back. “Maybe you shouldn’t call her.”
“Why because that woman is staking out the barn phone just to read your caller ID? Or because she’s capable of tracking your pay-as-you-go cell phone?”
The absurdity of Sandra’s fears grated on his nerves. He and Sandra were sneaking around like murderers or drug runners. Sandra’s needs were as vast as the ocean—the apartment needed weeks of winterizing, she needed steady help with Casey, she needed him to help her hide their every move. That wasn’t living, not for him.
She looked at the plate with the sandwich she’d made for him and shrugged. “Even Rhoda thinks you should stay away.”
“She’s trying to do what’s best for me. You want me to do what’s best for you. But I choose to do what’s best for Rhoda.” He took a deep breath, bracing himself for her reaction to what else was on his mind. “And it’s past time I thought like that every step of the way. Because of that, I’m seriously considering seeing a lawyer, just to talk to him.”
“What?” Sandra gaped at him. “That’s crazy.”
“Maybe it is. I don’t know. I just want to see an end to this thing. And the way we’re doing it, there is no end in sight.”
“But you knew that the night you fought off those men, giving me time to get away with Casey. You knew that when you moved me here less than three months ago. When Blaine disappeared on me, you said we were in this fight together, remember?”
“I’m sick of sneaking around. Sick of constant worrying that the authorities will find out.” What he had told Rhoda about his past had given him the first taste of inner freedom he’d experienced since his time among the Englisch. He craved more. He longed to face the consequences and put everything behind him.
“If you get found out, I do too. Those people I owe money to are still looking for me.” Sandra pointed at Casey. “Jacob, I’m all she has.”
His heart melted as he looked at Casey. He often thought reality would be found by facing a jury or by prison bars slamming shut. But Sandra’s and his reality sat at the kitchen table, prattling to herself while she danced a piece of cheese sandwich across her plate before taking a bite of it.
The desire to protect the little girl outweighed all else. But couldn’t a lawyer actually help them learn the best way to deal with what they had done?
“You could go with me to see the lawyer. Tell what you know. Surely—”
“No.” Sandra moved closer. “You have to continue trusting me, and I’m telling you that’s a horrible idea.”
Jacob focused on Sandra. Since he’d told Rhoda his secrets, he could see things a little clearer. Now he had times of seriously doubting that Sandra had his best interests at heart. Was she like Blaine, hiding information from Jacob in order to control him? If so, what could she possibly be hiding?
He couldn’t imagine anything, but then he was so weary of being away from home that he couldn’t think straight. A little time with Rhoda, their talking and unwinding, and his head would clear. Then maybe he could see something about this situation with Sandra he hadn’t seen before. Maybe he could look into finding a lawyer.
“We can talk about this another time. I’m going home.”