part0026

“What the hell?!” Sam exclaimed as the parrot shot right at his head, forcing him to dive to the side to avoid being hit.

The bird flew right past him, cackling madly as it did so. Sam stared as the parrot continued on, cawing loudly and shouting out obscenities. Slowly getting to his feet, Sam stared at Gordon with wide eyes.

“What the fuck was that?!” he yelled, gesturing wildly at the parrot’s retreating tail feathers.

“I believe that was a parrot, though it did not stay still long enough for me to inspect it properly,” Gordon calmly replied.

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock! I know it’s a fucking parrot! What I don’t know, is why it’s here!”

Gordon’s fur bristled at that, and he turned his nose up at him.

“I may be your guide, but I am not all-knowing. Why do you not try and use that underdeveloped simian brain of yours, and figure it out yourself!” With that said, he turned his back on him and followed the parrot down the tunnel.

Sam stared after the dog, fists clenched at his sides, inwardly seething at the infuriating animal. He knew that he was probably in the wrong. Gordon had only been making an observation, and he couldn’t expect him to know everything.

“Damn dog,” he muttered, debating going after him or not.

He knew he wouldn’t have gone too far, as the boss room was only a little way down the tunnel, but he didn’t want to apologize either. There was a light scuffing of boots over stone, and Sam turned back, staring at the bend in the tunnel.

Another uninvited guest?

A moment later, a girl dashed around the bend, eyes darting around as she presumably searched for something. She had a worried expression on her face, but that changed to one of surprise when her eyes landed on him. She stumbled, only just managing to catch herself, and stopped a few feet away from him.

She was tall, maybe a couple of inches shorter than him, with long, flowing black hair, striking green eyes and red painted lips. Her heart-shaped face was pale and smooth, without so much as a single blemish. Her body was athletic and toned, but that wasn’t to say she was lacking in the chest or hips. She was dressed in a sleeveless leather tunic, a tight-fitting pair of pants, and had a sword sitting on her left hip. In a word, she was one of the prettiest girls Sam had ever seen, and had he not spent the entire previous day with Milly, he would most probably be a stuttering mess.

“Hi,” he said awkwardly.

Just because he could talk didn’t mean he knew what to say.

“Hello,” she answered back, just as awkwardly as him.

He stared at her for a few moments, and she at him, neither sure of what to say. Then there was a loud whooshing sound from behind him, and Sam whirled to see the parrot flying back at him.

“Move, motherfucker! I’m coming through!”

“Shit. Not this again!” Sam yelled, diving to the side as the parrot flew past him, cackling at Sam’s angry expression.

Then it did something completely unexpected. It landed on the girl’s shoulder, tucked in its wings, and let out a loud caw.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!” the girl said as Sam slowly got to his feet, muttering about turning the parrot into a stew.

“What’s with that thing anyway?” Sam asked, glaring at the bird, who very slowly raised one of its feet, then curled in all but one of its toes.

The bird only had four of them, but the message was clear all the same.

The little fucker was flipping him off!

The girl let out a long sigh and shook her head.

“I don’t know. He’s been like this ever since I met him.”

“And why hang around with him if he’s such a dick?” Sam asked, flipping the parrot off in kind.

“Well… That might be a little hard to explain,” she said, turning her head and rolling her eyes, as she saw why Sam was giving her the finger.

“Try me,” Sam said, folding his arms.

The girl opened her mouth to reply, when a light clicking sound echoed down the tunnel, and a moment later Gordon came into view. She stared as the dog stopped next to him, and dropped a stick he’d been clutching between his jaws.

“I have to say, that bird has an even fouler mouth, or should I say beak, than you do,” he said, licking one of his paws. “I met him near the boss room, and tried to strike up a conversation, but the stream of profanity that exited his beak would shock even you.”

“Your dog can talk?!” the girl exclaimed, earning her a sharp look from both Sam and Gordon.

Her eyes widened, and then her lips turned up in a smile.

“I thought I’d never find someone else from back home!” she exclaimed, equally as excited.

Baron Von Tweet took off as she dashed forward, shrieking in protest, but the girl ignored him. Sam was surprised when she grabbed one of his hands in both of hers, squeezing it tightly.

“My name is Emma. I’m not really sure how I got here. One minute I was sitting at a friend’s house, and the next, I was here.”

“I’m Sam,” he replied, surprised at the strength in Emma’s grip. “I got here a little differently than you. I was at a party and may have had a bit too much to drink. I passed out, and the next thing I knew, I’m waking up here,” he laughed embarrassedly, but she just returned the smile.

“Definitely feel you there. It’s happened to me more than once,” she said, releasing his hand and taking a step back. “So, do you know how to get out of here?”

Sam shook his head, and let out a sigh.

“Nope. At least, no way other than killing this Overlord guy.”

“Who is he anyway?” Emma asked, her expression growing annoyed. “And how the hell did he drag us here from Earth?”

“Beats me. I know about as much as you.”

“I say! Get off me! I am not a perch you foul beaked cretin!”

They both turned to see that Baron Von Tweet had landed on Gordon’s back, and was preening himself, while the dog in question was staring back at him with an annoyed look on his face.

“Go fuck yourself, dog!” the bird replied, completely ignoring him.

Sam and Emma shared a look, then they both burst out laughing. The entire situation was just too messed up to elicit any other reaction. Here they were, trapped in a fantasy world, in a dungeon full of monster ants, and their talking animals were having a fight.

“Holy crap!” Sam wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes as he tried to calm himself down.

After a few more seconds, Emma managed to calm down enough to speak.

“Barry, get off the dog. Don’t be such an asshole!”

The bird took off, shrieking his displeasure, then went to perch near the tunnel ceiling. A moment later, a wad of bird poop splattered to the ground and only Gordon’s lightning fast reflexes saved him from the missile.

“How dare you! You… You…!” Gordon was so angry that he was at a loss for words, and Sam figured that he’d better step in before this escalated into a fight.

“Here Gordon, how about you take this and wait for me by the boss room. I’ll be along soon.”

Gordon turned his glare on him, but when he saw the stick waving back and forth through the air, his eyes immediately locked onto it. Sam waved it a few times, then hurled it down the tunnel, prompting Gordon to streak after it with an excited bark.

“Damn. I wish Barry would behave that well,” Emma said, looking up to her bird, who was plucking dead feathers from his back and dropping them to float down to the floor below.

“Trust me. Gordon has some serious issues of his own,” Sam replied. “He’s got a very interesting name, though. How the hell did he get it?”

“Don’t ask me. That’s how he introduced himself. I wasn’t going to call him that every time, so I shortened it.”

“Doesn’t he get mad?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe!”

“Hey,” Sam began, suddenly having a lightbulb moment, “would you be willing to help me take down the boss? My rule for the day is to kill a boss and I really don’t want another divine curse.”

Emma’s expression darkened when he mentioned the divine curse, but she nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, I can help you. I’ve been on the receiving end of those damn curses. Almost died on my first day here because of one.”

“Same,” he replied with a knowing nod. “Yesterday’s was even worse. I got slammed with four different curses. Before I was muted, and couldn’t talk for 12 hours.”

Emma winced when she heard that.

“Is that why your level is so low?”

Sam was surprised for a moment, then shrugged to himself.

“Is my level really low? I just thought that yours was high.”

Emma shook her head.

“Barry told me that if I worked at a good pace, then I should be able to pick up a class in about four days.”

“What class are you gonna pick?” Sam asked, already having a pretty good idea, based on the light leather armor she was wearing and the long sword strapped to her waist.

“Warrior, though I’ll probably pick something a little more suited to fast movement when I get to pick a sub-class.”

“Do you know when we’ll be able to see the sub-class page?”

Sam had been wondering about that. All the abilities he’d learned so far were mana based and had no affinity whatsoever. The only one he’d found that sounded like a fire spell had an unknown requirement.

“They should show up once you pick your class. This way, you’ll have time to decide in which direction you want to go.”

Sam nodded, but then Emma asked him a question.

“I noticed that you’ve got a lot of MP, so I’m guessing you’re going the Mage route. Have you been getting new abilities as you level up, even though you haven’t picked a class yet?”

“I have, actually,” Sam replied, now realizing for the first time that it didn’t make any sense that he had.

He wasn’t a Mage yet, so why was he learning new spells?

“Judging by the look on your face, you have no clue either,” Emma said with a sigh, and Sam nodded.

“Yeah, can’t figure out why though.”

“You think this Overlord guy is fucking with us?”

Emma scowled once more at the mention of the Overlord and her hand tightened around the hilt of her sword.

“I don’t doubt that for a second.”

“Have you fought in this dungeon before?” Sam asked, quickly checking his clock and grimacing.

It was already after 6.

“No. This is my first time here. What does the boss look like?”

“Giant ant with wings. Looks like it could take my head off with one bite.”

“Sounds about right. What do its stats look like?”

Sam listed them out and Emma blew out a soft whistle.

“Sounds like a tough fight, but I think the four of us should be able to handle it.”

“Your bird will fight too?” Sam asked, looking up at the bird in question.

“Yeah. Took a bit of convincing at first, but eventually, he started fighting with me.”

“Sounds a lot like my experience with Gordon,” Sam said with rueful grin.

Emma grinned back, finally relaxing and releasing her grip on her sword.

“We’ll have to talk more once we get out of here, but for now let’s take down that ant!”

Sam nodded, and the two of them headed down the tunnel, hearing the beating of Baron Von Tweet’s wings following them a moment later.