part0033

“Just a few more minutes,” he mumbled, turning to one side and pushing his face into the couch cushions.

“If you don’t get up now, I’ll let Barry do the wakeup call. Let me tell you, it won’t be pleasant.”

Sam cracked a lid open and blearily stared up at Emma, who was standing over him with a smug grin on her face. Yawning widely, Sam checked his clock and saw that it was only 7 AM.

“It’s too fucking early for you to be this chipper,” he groaned, forcing himself into a sitting position.

“Not my fault you decided to stay awake for an hour once we got back. You could have been smart and used that time to sleep!”

Sam glared at her, but she just tossed her long mane of black hair and flashed him another grin.

“We’re leaving to the city in ten minutes, so you best get ready. There’s a barrel of water around back. Don’t ask what it’s doing there because I have no clue. You can go stick your head in it or something, if you want.” With that said, she walked off, heading into a side room and leaving Sam alone.

He sat there for a few minutes, allowing his mind to wake up a bit before forcing himself up off the sofa and heading out the front door. His mouth felt very dry and his head ached terribly. Checking his notifications, he understood why.

Great, more shit I have to deal with, Sam thought as he approached the water barrel. Stopping before it, he stared down at the rippling liquid, which reflected the early morning sun and the vibrant blue sky above. It was still a little brisk out, so he was reluctant to plunge his head in, but after a few more moments of staring, he shrugged.

Sam plunged his head into the icy water, feeling the lingering sleep wash away in an instant. He pulled his head free with a gasp, feeling the icy liquid running from his hair, trailing down his neck and under his shirt.

Cupping both hands, he scooped out some water and drank until he felt satiated, and his headache began to recede. Checking his status, he could indeed see that the thirst debuff had disappeared. Now all he needed was something to eat. And some more sleep.

As he walked back around to the front of the house, Emma, Gordon, and the devil bird came into view.

“Ah, it is good to see you up and about, Sam. How are you this morning?” Gordon asked.

“Tired as shit. You?”

“I myself am doing quite well,” Gordon replied, his stick suddenly appearing from thin air.

That snapped him awake instantly.

His stuff! In all of the excitement, he’d completely forgotten about the things he’d asked Gordon to hold on to.

“Gordon, you fucking miracle dog! I could kiss you right now!” Sam exclaimed, earning him a very odd look from Emma and a wolf-whistle from Baron Von Tweet.

“I beg your pardon,” Gordon said, giving him an aggrieved look. “But whatever are you talking about?”

“Remember yesterday, when I asked you to hold onto some of my things?” Sam prompted.

“Ah, I see,” Gordon said with a nod. “All of your items were stolen. All except for those that you asked me to hold for you. I now understand your excitement.”

“What’s he talking about?” Emma finally asked.

“Apparently, companion animals all have a storage space where they can keep items. I asked Gordon about it yesterday and then got the strangest feeling to ask him to hold onto some of my stuff for me.”

“And then you got robbed just a few minutes later,” Emma finished, eyes going wide.

Sam had told them all his story when they’d gotten back to the small house last night. Barry had laughed, Gordon had been indifferent, and Emma had been sympathetic. She’d even agreed to help him hunt the treacherous dwarf down, to get his items back after they’d finished their business in Shtut.

“I know! What are the odds?” Sam said, remembering the odd sensation pushing him to do so. “I honestly think it had something to do with my high Luck …” Sam trailed off as he said that, looking down at the empty space where his Lucky Rabbit’s Foot had hung just the previous day.

He let out a sigh, knowing that he’d never be able to find a replacement for that in the city and that only good fortune would allow him to get an item like that again.

Emma, noticing his somber mood, quickly changed the subject.

“You ready to head into the city? I’m sure you can find some awesome gear now that you’ve chosen a class!”

Instead of cheering him up, this just made Sam’s mood sour even more. He’d had the perfect gear for his new class in his bag. Then that thieving piece of shit…

“Do calm yourself, Samuel. You did mention a quest that would reward you with some exceptional items, did you not?” Gordon asked as he saw Sam’s expression.

“What did I tell you about using my full name, you damn mutt?” Sam yelled, growling at the dog.

“There is no need to shout,” Gordon said, sticking his nose up in the air with an indignant huff. “I was merely attempting to cheer your sour mood, but seeing as you cannot be civil, I will leave you to your angry mumbling.” With that, Gordon walked away, heading down the road in the direction of the city.

“You really should be nicer to him,” Emma said, giving him a stern look.

Sam felt his anger melt away at that and nodded.

“I know, but everything that happened yesterday is still swimming around my head. This world is seriously fucked up,” he said as they started down the road as well.

“I know what you mean. Talking animals, monsters that wanna kill you, these shitty rules that are ready to screw you three ways at the first opportunity. It’s almost enough to make you wanna scream.”

“It already has. Many, many times,” Sam said, chuckling lightly. “I even feel like this Overlord dude picks out each of our rules personally. For example, my rule for today is to not be someone’s bitch and kill the little gnome bastard who brought me to that underground bunker.”

“Yeah, that sounds pretty bad,” Emma said, doing her best not to laugh. “Mine is also pretty fucked up.”

“Really? What is it?” Sam asked, now curious about the rules that others would be forced to follow.

Emma’s face suddenly reddened, and she looked furtively around before leaning in and lowering her voice.

“I’m pretty sure that this Overlord dude is a total perv, because I need to sleep with three different men today. And they all need to be there at the same time.”

Sam’s eyes went comically wide. She can’t be serious, can she? But when Emma promptly burst out laughing, he knew she’d been fucking with him.

“Oh, ha-ha, very funny,” Sam said, rolling his eyes.

“Your face! You should have seen your face!” Emma said, doubling over and clutching at her stomach.

Despite himself, Sam soon found that he was also smiling. It was hard not to, when someone was laughing like that. When Emma had finally calmed down, which took her at least a full two minutes, she told Sam what her actual rule for the day was.

“I’m not allowed to kill any fish or fish-like creatures.”

“Which means that you’ll probably be running into a fish monster at some point,” Sam said, already knowing how this Overlord played his twisted game.

He made a rule, based on what he knew you would be doing that day. This, if Sam thought about it, was a truly terrifying prospect.

If the Overlord already knew what was going to happen, how was he, or anyone else, supposed to defeat him?

“Yeah, I know what you mean. My rule the first day was to not kill any birds…”

“And then you met Barry,” Sam finished.

“And then I met Barry,” Emma repeated, glaring up at the green and yellow bird flying above them.

As though knowing that they were talking shit about him, Baron Von Tweet suddenly banked hard to the right, and both Sam and Emma were forced to leap out of the way to avoid being hit by the bird crap he’d dumped down toward them. Then he flew off, dodging the spells and insults hurled after him by the both of them.

It only took them another twenty-five minutes to reach the city and by the time they were approaching the gates, the road was already crowded with people. Gordon had allowed them to catch up with him at some point, and Barry was now perched on Emma’s shoulder, which Sam thought was both cocky and brave of the erratic bird.

After all, if it were him, he’d probably take the opportunity to dish out some sweet revenge on Sir Poops-a-lot.

“So, what do you need to take care of in the city?” Sam asked, as they got into the long line before the city gates.

“Need to sell some gear, pick up some supplies, and see if I can get a better sword,” Emma replied as the line lowly inched forward. “How about you?”

“I need to stop by an inn to let someone know I’m okay. She’s probably freaking out by now that I didn’t come back last night. Then I’ll need to replace everything I lost last night, and see if can find any spell scrolls…” Sam trailed off when he noticed that Emma had stopped and he’d been moving forward without her.

She was looking at him and had a wry smirk on her face.

“What?” he asked, as she walked up to him.

“You never told me you had a girlfriend,” she said with a wink. “You’ve only been here what, four days? You move quickly, you dirty dog!”

Sam flushed a deep red, which only made Emma snort with laughter.

“No! It’s not like that,” he quickly said. “I just did a quest for her and she owes me a reward.”

“A reward of an intimate nature, if I am not mistaken,” Gordon said, interceding into their conversation.

“Ooohh! Let me hear the juicy details,” Emma exclaimed, pushing herself up against him and grinning as though she’d just won the lottery or something. “What’s she like? Is she pretty? What’s her name?”

By the time they’d made it past the gate guards, Sam had caught Emma up on all the relevant details about Milly. Suffice it to say, that she was dying to meet the elf girl. Sam, on the other hand, thought that it would be a terrible idea and the last thing he’d want to do. He still wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about Milly or if they would even have any sort of relationship, but he didn’t want to show up after missing the entire night, in the company of another woman.

“Oh alright, fine!” Emma said, rolling her eyes. “I’ll go shopping and meet you there when I’m done.”

“Thank you!” Sam exclaimed, blowing out a relieved breath.

“Better watch out when you’re going around the city,” she called out as she headed off in the direction of the blacksmith. “Those guildies are probably looking for you. Best avoid them until you can solve the mystery of the corrupt noble.”

Sam just rolled his eyes at the horrible pun, but waved her off all the same.

He already knew that he’d need to be careful around the city. He also knew that he still had to get his hands on that gnome before the day was out. That shit bag had already caused him enough trouble and he wasn’t about to let him be the cause of even more.

“Come on, Gordon. Let’s go visit Milly and get something to eat.”

“I thought you would never offer. I am quite famished after all of last night’s excitement. Do you think that The Classy had good bones?”