Selected Extracts From My Diary
ANOTHER BOOTS PAGE-A-DAY diary, oatmeal in colour and hand-decorated with a Joe Orton-style collage under transparent sticky-back plastic for protection. The collage features cut-out members of the almost-ran punk band 999 and their distinctive raffle-ticket logo, Marilyn Monroe, The Elephant Man, Gene Hackman (now officially designated My Favourite Actor) and a Dymo label reading ‘ANDY COLLINS. BLOODY PRIVATE’. I’m not sure it’s sincere – the diary wasn’t exactly secreted away under lock and key. I suspect it’s just the self-consciousness of a 15-year-old.
1980 is a car crash to look at, initially. Punk (still going in Northampton remember) dictates the design style and again, it’s a glorified sketch book, much of it filled with variable-quality cartoons of film stars, punk heroes and my mates (clearly for the reader’s benefit – bloody private indeed). Thankfully, things smarten up as the year progresses and punk subsides. Plus, the entries get longer again around August. No theories as to why.
Meanwhile, in-jokey school catch-phrases take over from Python quotes, and the real swearing begins …
Monday, 7 January
Got my record library order form back, which means I can go and get the Ruts LP I ordered before Christmas. Ace. Went up Craig’s this morning.1 Dad got me the Undertones album. It is really grate. Magic sleeve.
Saw Question Of Sport, Give Us A Clue, Coronation Street, In The Family. Saw Thunderbolt and Lightfoot illegally. Clint film. Norty bits.2
Thursday, 24 January
Got NME. Ace. They had the best group in the world on Nationweird today … yes, the Shadows. No, you ignorant twat, the Undertones. Them. They had live film of ‘Get Over You’.
I made up the numbers in our inter-form rugby. We lost 14–8. Saw Watch This Space. Craig, Pete et me went up de Supacentre. Craig got the Specials EP and I got ‘London Calling’ by the Clash. Plus Smash Shits.
Tuesday, 29 January
Got my two ordered Mad back issues back. No. 179 = ‘Moronic Woman’. No. 182 = ‘The Shootiest’. Ace stuff.
Went up Pete’s tonight. Been trying out our Undertones ‘remix’. Rhythm guitar = Pete. Lead guitar = Pete. Vocals and Undertone knowledge = moi. Drums? = me if poss.
Friday, 1 February
2 much h/w. Went up Pete’s for another nearly-recording session. We’ve ditched copying the Undertones and we’re writing our own stuff. I’ve gotta come up with the lyrix. Pete’s gotta come up with the muzic. I’m on vocals, Pete’s on guitar. Name? Dunno. The Tramps? Alcatraz? The Beakys? The Comatose Villains?
Tuesday, 7 February
What the hell can we call our group (me + Pete)? Got it … Frenzy?
fren’zy n. fury, delirious excitement. – frenzied a.
Yes! Must be. What say Pete? I’ll ask him tomorrow. Did another recording-nearly session. Working on a number ritt by me, ‘Past Tense’. Good I tell you. Frenzy?
Wednesday, 8 February
Pete don’t fully agree with Frenzy. A few we thought up today: The Zips (hmm); The Outlaws (oh dear); Riot Control (like much); The Stereotypes (hmm); Psycho (oh dear); Enforcer (like much); The Bit-Parts (hmm).
2 much homework. Had shitty ‘glamour’ careers video.3 Got Stiff Little Fingers’ new new new release, ‘At The Edge’. Jolly good it is too. Went up Craig’s. Saw Coronation St, Benny Hill (rather norty). Had hare wash. Listening to John Peel, whose wife’s having a baby and Mikey Read is doing de show for him. Clash etc.
Thursday, 7 February
I’m just writing some rather interesting lyrics for a coupla new songs for us … me and Pete. Yes, our actual, agreed-on-for-the-time-being name is D.D.T.
Yes … D.D.T. Well, we like it. Erm … dichloro diphenyl trichloroethane (insecticide).
Craig came roond. A bitov h/w. Specials no. 1. Melissa got ‘Captain Beaky Freaky’. Badminton in games. Pricey and Ager had a great larf scrap. Had hair cut/spike.
Sunday, 10 February
Did my Smash Hits Specials album competition entry. Rather hopeful. Only six winners. Had to design 2-Tone man for record of choice. I did ‘Smash It Up’. You never know …
Saw Airport. Rather good film actually. First two thirds not so good; last third = excito.
Thursday, 14 February
Went to see Invasion of the Bodysnatchers with Paul Garner, Pete and Brian at the Film Society up College of FE.4 Only a quid to get in, not many people, good enough screen, no strict age restrictions – obviously, as it was a very worthy ‘X’. Only made last year. Not an old film at all. Don Sutherland, Brooke Adams, Len Nimoy, Veronica Cartwright etc. Really good’n’gory. Nice pod scenes, rather horrific, creepy and ace. Birds Eye peas, sweet as the moment when the pod went POP!
Tuesday, 26 February
Paul came down.5 We have compiled the 100 Best People in the World. Gene H is friggin’ well in there.
Saturday, 1 March
Yes it’s nearly my birthday. So as a birthday treat Dad paid for me, Craig and Paul to go to the ABC to see Nightwing ‘AA’ with Dave Warner etc. and nasty vampire bats and bitten-up people and blood and big caves and Indian territories and a lady run over by a jeep and great s. effects and blood and teeth and bats squeaking and good. Plus Billion Dollar Threat which was good for a larf.
And Simon is in a real much-sulko mood. He has laid there on his bed since 8.30 and it’s now 9.30. What a queer. Nan and Pap baby-sattedified. Saw Tales of the Unexzzpected about people turning into bees. Zzzzz.
Tuesday, 4 March
Yes it wuz my birthday. For a start I got £8.50 – because Nan’s fiver went towards a book … The Illustrated Encyclopedia of the World’s Great Movie Stars and Their Films (£7.95). Really ace. Melissa got me a great, bolus-shaped rubber and an ace ruler. Si got me the Rocky/Rocky II fotonovel. Too ace for words. And Mum’n’Dad got me an x quid Hitachi radio/cassette avec aerial, cassette player and recorder, FM, bass, treble, volume, four channels, earpiece, mains socket or batteries etc. It is tooo good.
Went up Paul’s. Going to buy blank cassette, Nightwing and Heaven Can Wait fotonovels, a Dickies single, Alien movie book?, two Mad mags.
Wednesday, 5 March
Dad didn’t get home till late last night but I found out dis morning that he had bought me the Dickies single ‘Fan Mail’ yesterday. It’s in red vinyl and with a spesh fold-out free colour 21"×14" poster. The single und the poster are rather goodo.
Still a loada anticlimax-type trouble brewin’ between WFUS, NSB, NSG, Lings, Trinity, Thom A Beckett etc. Everyone gangs up and goes home. But it gets the teachers and cops out. Never anythink happens. Know what I mean?
I tell yoo this radio wot I got too ace. I’m listenin’ to Jonathan Peel now. Had nice supper. Coffee and cow sandwich. Did you know I can’t draw Robert Redford? Jacqueline Bisset is nice enough to put a poster up of her today. I can draw my mate Gene.
Craig come down. Did our intriguing Jane Austen h/w. Who is Jane Austen to inconvenience us?
Friday, 7 March
Went up Creeeegie’s house. He was up the Centre with Andy Bonner.6 I sat and watched TV with his mum till 8.00, then us three had a larf in his room when they came back. Craig bought Smash Hits for me because I have come in the top six in the 2-Tone competition. My entry’s bin printed. It’s really good to see my name in the mag in print. I’ll be getting a Specials album. Goodo. Got Bodysnatchers fotonovel. Ace.
Saturday, 8 March
Paul und me went town. He got a magic M*A*S*H poster and some pencils and I got three black pens, drawing book, blank cassette, Siouxsie and the Banshees LP from r. library.
Chron & Echo sent a coupla blokes down art skool this morning because our classes have got one week to live. Bleedin’ education cuts. Took photos of our class and just me.
Matish Neil lent me lods of Mads inc. French Connection, Cuckoo’s Nest. Watching Tales of the Unexplainable.
Tuesday, 11 March
Craig is still going out wiv Sarah. Paul and me did our mafs h/w. My photo and Dad’s ed cuts letter waz in the Chronic & Eccho. Ace photo of moi. Paul’s Dad got me the original to keep. Ace. Also Tony, Dave and Louis. (Paul, Neil, Jeff, Simon cut off!)
Saw Grollywood about directors. Went oop Paul’s.
Thursday, 13 March
Had some cheese on toast tonight. ‘March 13th and all’s well.’ 10.12 and John Peel is playing ‘You’ by Delta 5. It is so ace, ace, ace. I am listening to John Peel. I did go up Paul’s and we did have a laugh. They are playing ‘Going Underground’ by Jam on John Peel. At this moment in time.
I can’t draw Hackeline Bisset. They are now playing the Slits on JP. I haven’t read Alien completely yet. My old diareary does make Paul crack. Tucker Jenkins is a bottom lip.
Mum n Dad did go to parunts evening tonight. 10.00 and all’s well. I say, this Slits record ‘In The Beginning There Was Rhythm’ is rather goodo. But now JP’s playin’ Flexys Midway Bummers (Dexys Midnight Runners). My toe isn’t swollen. It was last year though. Bed = 10.00-ish. What does ish mean?
Friday, 21 March
Boring day. (Got my biology book wot I paid for at school.) But it waz a gud laugh tonight. I rode up Pete’s. Pete and me rode up Craig’s. Craig, Pete and me nackered ourselves riding up Dave’s. Dave, Craig, Pete and me went round Howkins’.7 Howkins, Dave, Craig, Pete and me then went round Matt’s.8 Later we went round Howkins’ again and ended up back at Dave’s till 9.00. Ace.
Thursday, 3 April
Went up Craig’s s’morning. Went up Craig’s s’afternoon and tonight. Where … did … you … get … that … blank expression … on your face.
Craig, Pete, Andy and me went off to the Girl Guides (don’t let that put you off) + Fanciers FC Disco at the Fanciers Club. It was a real good place. Also went: Cindy, Sarah, Jo Gosling, Lisa … They played mostly good music (Specials, Beat, Madness) but too much disco. But whoo cares. There was no proper slow dance at the end, but I’m probably seeing Lisa again.9 I know her number. We didn’t get the chance to dance, but me and Howkins sat with her for 45% of the night (7.30– 10.30). Craig made it up with Sarah. Howkins really likes me for being slightly luckier with Lisa than him. Shit, I’m sorry Howkins.
Sunday, 6 April
Nan got me my Easter present – a pack of Matchmakers. Pretty appropriate. Lisa came down this afternoon. Great. She came down at 2.30. We went up Craig’s later and I walked her home to the Arbours.
Recorded ‘Gangsters’, UB40, Selecter, ‘Echo Beach’, ‘Poison Ivy’. All ace. God, Lisa is nice. Did some to my Poseidon Adventure picture. What record reminds me of Lisa? ‘Nite Club’? ‘Teenage Kicks’?
Tales of Unexplainable = ‘Fat Chance’.
Saturday, 12 April
Leeds 0–1 to Crystal Palace. Oh bum. Me + Paul rode all the way up Neil’s and Neil wasn’t at Neil’s. So we returned. It killed us that bloody ride.
Last Tiswas: John Peel, Beat, Specials, Bodysnatchers. Led Zep. Rainbow, Al Minter etc.
Lisa’s this afternoon. Got ace photocopy of our ‘Top 100 People’ off Paul. It is so big. And goodo. Lisa, Dave, me, Andy all went round Craig’s tonight. Did a few Smash Hits crosswords and Howkins nearly jumped out of the window. And we listened to records and I walked Lisa home. Romantic Interlude. Got 2 Pentels.
Monday, 14 April
Shit I’ve been spelling Liza’s name wrong for the last 11 days. Disgusting! Liza with a ‘Z’. OK? Seen Liza tonight. Went round Craig’s + Pete + Dave + Andy. Walked Liza home. Romantic Interlude. Saw Liza at school as well. No h/w. Saw Halls of Anger + Jeff Bridges. Blax + whites school movie. Ace. And Film 80 – Tom Horn, Empire Strikes Blecch, Starting Over etc.
Friday, 18 April
Andy 4 Liza. Seen Liza at school. Did self blood tests in biology. Jab. I’m blood group ‘O’. What an average-o kid. And tonight Mr Merrick took 15 of us to Solihull10 ice-skating, inc. me, Liza, Pete, Craig, Mick, Paul Smith etc. It was a really good larf even though me + Liza were not quite ace on skates. The ice got really wet later on. We went in the minibus. Also had chips at 9.45. Got back in the minibus (Romantic Interlude) at 11.35. Ace.
Wednesday, 30 April
I’m writing this at about 12.00 as I’ve just watched a tribute to Sir Alfred Hitchcock (RIP). He died yesterday. Ace film clips were on it. Woshed my hare. Went up Liza’s tonight. Shit this torch is running out. (I’m writing this under the bed covers by the way.) The Undertones are at no. 11 in the charts. Great. Liza 4 Andy.
Saturday, 3 May
Sports Report … Last day of season: Liverpool beat Aston Villa 4–1 (Cohen, Kennedy, Johnson × 2), clinching the League Championship. Man Utd lost to Leeds 2–0 (Hird [pen.] 76th min, Parlane 14th min) – Match Of Day. Ace. So Man Utd are 2nd, Ipswich 3rd. Watford beat Burnley 4–0 (four goals 1st half) and end up two from bottom three in Division 2. Bye bye to Bolton + Derby + somebody else from Div 1. And up come Leicester City from 2 to 1. Grimsby come back up into 2 from 3.
Aberdeen won the Scottish League. Celtic 2nd, St Mirren 3rd. Where were Rangers? Portsmouth beat Cobblers 2–0 here and so the fans left our peaceful little town alone as their win means they rise into Div 3. Liverpool still got one game in hand as well (Middlesboro’).
BBC1 Goal of the Season: (results next Sat.)
My choice:
(You are a witness to the fact that I’m right.) Leeds (no order): Lukic, Hird, Stevenson, Flynn, Greenhoff, Madeley, Parlane, Cherry, Graham, Harris, Connor (sub). No more ‘bring me the head of Jimmy Adamson’.
Saturday, 10 May
AM went down town with Dave, Craig, Andy and Pete. Pete bought ‘Living on an Island’, Andy got some disco 12", Dave and Craig went clothes shopping, I got Smash Hits and got two LPs from the record library, At the Chelsea Nightclub by Members and The Biggest Prize in Sport by 999. That album is really good. 999 are ace. Pete agrees entirely. Me + Pete’ve ordered Separates by 999 from the libry.
This afternoon me and Pete went up Craig’s to watch the greatest Cockney rip-off ie. the 1980 FA Cup Final: Arsenal + West Ham. There was only one fucking goal. Devonshire through Pat Jennings’ big hands, shot by Cross, rebound, and goal by Brooking headed off Pearson’s shot. John Lyle was happy. 1–0.
Shit Celtic beat Rangers 1–0. Craig says that Jimmy Hill talks through his arse.
All of us (eg. moi, Liza, Pete, Craig, Dave, Andy, Howkins, Matt) went to the Colts Preservation Disco at Lodge Farm. Also there: Cindy, Fiona Brown, Liz H, Davenports etc.
Monday, 16 June
Well. Now, for me and Paul it’s ‘crap yourself time’. We’re going on telly live on Friday. On Look East, all about drawing, cartoons, caricatures etc. Dad, Paul’s Dad + us are driving to BBC Norwich on Friday midday. We’ve got to collect loads of drawings together. Live? Worry. Went Paul’s tonight.
Wednesday, 18 June
Worry, shit, crap, nervous, worry, worry. Got four photos of Look East team to caricature, to practise for Friday. Went Paul’s. Finished self-portrait. Had photos took (me and Paul) for Mercury & Herald and Chronic & Echo. Fun!? Worry! Nervous!
Friday, 20 June
No crap brick nervous worry any more. Paul and me got picture in Chronic advertising our Look East appearance. Got home from school at 10.30 and left Northampton at 12.15 in Dad’s car with Paul and Paul’s Dad. Arrived Norwich at 3.15 and went into BHS for a scone and Coke and into WHSmith’s to kill time. Went BBC East studios at 4.00 and met Ian Masters for a chat. Took loads of pictures into the actual recording place and we sort of talked Ian M through a few bits of our work eg. my self-portrait, Paul’s Clint picture, my Psicko front page, Paul’s Ben-Hur. Take 2 worked. Couldn’t use anything white. No white drawings or anything.
Watched our un-live bit at 4.45, and then drew our Tony Scase and Ian Masters caricature pictures up in the drinks room. Drinks, everyone offered us drinks. Spoke to and got autographs off: Ian Masters, Judi Lines, Tony Scase, Bob Bufton and Roger Maynard. It was really fun. Did our live bit at 6.10.
Burned home after burgerish dinner at 7.15. Got back 10.00. Me and Paul got back our Tony and Ian pictures (respectively). Mum and Mrs Garner said that the programme was OK. Gonna see the video of it at Craig’s tomorrow. We get paid you know! Fun!!!!
Friday, 27 June
999: ‘Eyes in the dark become flashing lamps.’
F = fun thing. UF = unfun thing.
F I had all the afternoon off school.
UF Because I had to go to the dentist’s.
UF I had three tooths out.
UF Gas pain!
F It didn’t take long and I didn’t puke or anything.
F I ate loads of food and did some more to my Poseidon spoof.
F Mum made a really fun flan! (eg. flan and real strawberries everywhere + jelly + cream.)
F I had three slices at various times.
F My teef (ex) have stopped bleeding.
F Jon Billingham,11 Dave, Craig and me went up the school to see their production of The Mikado.
F Matty and Liza were in it.
F Saw Cindy on the way home. She wants me to show people round on the English open evening with her. Fun.
F John (next-door) took five photos of me + Paul on TV. Ace prints. He’s given them to me.
F Got £8.00 appearance (BBC Look East) sent to me + £38 expenses for Dad. He’s giving me £15 and Paul £5. FU-UN.
Saturday, 28 June
Money money acting funny anything you gotta do.12
Whole total = £8 + £38 = £46
Whole money for me = £8 + £15 = £23
Money for Paul = £5
Money left for Dad = £46 – (£5 + £23)
= 46 – 28
= £18
Money still left for me to spend
= £23 – (£10 to put in bank + £3.69 999 LP)
= £23 – £13.69
= £9.31, which is equivalent to: two singles, a bottle of ink, Mad.
Tuesday, 15 July
Me and Matty went on the Science Museum trip. It was a good laugh. We went in the Natural History Museum as well. We saw the insects, whale, human biology etc. We both fell asleep on the way back. Fun salad tea. Shower and …
3rd + 4th Year Activity Day Disco in school hall. Went: moi, Craig, Pete, Matt, Dave, Howks, Andy Bonner, Liza, Jo, Cindy, Fiona, Liz H, Spratty, Andy Manton, Jenny, Monroe, Tanya, DD, loads of 3rd year girls. It was fun but there was only one slow record. Mehhhh! as C McK would say. Some exceptional music played: Dead Kennedys, Chords, Police, ‘Jump to the Beat’, Jam, Joy Division.
Saturday, 9 August HOLS
Came to Jersey … Left our house at 7.05 indy morning. We burned off in the car (only three pee stops) for four hours to Weymouth. A port. We drove onto the Seasink ferry (Sealink then, sorry) called the Earl Godwin for some weirdo reason and we had a ‘first time on a ferry for four fifths of us’ – only one throwing up (Dad) – loads of packed-up food – wandering around – nice weather 70% – four hour journey to Guernsey (spellt wrong). We ran into a thick fog bank at 5.00 and had annoying, Melissa-worrying, two-minute-interval foghorn blasts. That’s when Dad released some crisps and grapes from his bowels13 onto ‘B’ deck.
Waited for passenger unloading/loading at Geurnsey (spelt rong) half hour, and the Earl Godwin burned off to Jersey (one and a half hours). Did you know I got sunburnt just lazing on ‘C’ deck in the wind and sun for half hour. God. Who needs nice weather and holidays if you tan in the Channel?
Arrived at Jerz 8.45-ish. Really ace hotel eg. the Merton – first floor, massive dining lounge, late meal on arrival salad/coffee, gigantico swimming pool (residents only – us), ace bar, supa-clean. Love it. Si, Liss and me got our own room (or ‘rum’ as Pete S would say). Goodo beds.
FACT: I will spend and send (postcards) all f’night.
FACT: Dad smelt of puke all day and had to change.
FACT: Paul is not smelling of puke or on a ferry (I think).
God, there was a nice girl on the ferry. (From Parklands no less.)
Sunday, 10 August
The food is goodo in this un-slummish hotel eg. menus:
Brekky = fruit juice, corn flakes, bacon, egg, tea.
Luncheon = Scotch (Craig) broth, veal salad, apple turnover, coff.
Dinner = egg mimosa, tom soup, roast chick, lem sorbet, cheese, biscs, coff.14
Fun food. Dad had a shower. Good. Walked and sat upon Gorey beach. Gorey? What an uncool name for a beach. Went in the ‘residentz only’ pool s’afternoon. It’s big. Massif 15ft diving board (unused by moi), 15ft deep end, 5ft, 3ft, 2ft, slide, deckchairs (not in the pool), pretty warm etc. I got super-red tanned. What a burn. Christ I am burnt. God the itch.
Sat down in the bar after a town-walk tonight for a couple of hours and three beers. Some grannies ballroom danced. There was this really Morris-man-dancing weirdo trying to disco tonight. I want to punch him.
Wednesday, 13 August
Gave my film into the hotel developing service. Be ready by tomoro morn. Fun food: f juice, corn f, boiled eggz, tea. Minestrone, plaice, Bakewell tart. Mushroom soup, Florida cocktail, grilled ham, vanilla slice + cassata denise, c+b, coff.
AM town. Fort Regent – massif sports/leisure etc. complex thing sort of. Became holiday members eg. little photos of us to put on membershit cards. They came out really badly. Dad was looking up; Liss had Dad’s belly in her ear; Si had a curtain on his head; I was leaning over, no expression; Mum just stared into space. Fine …
PM hot. Sat around swimming pool all aftnoon. Tonight: watched Joey Kaye Laughter Show cabaret in ballroom, then watched OAPs dancing. When four fiths of our family disappeared I went down to sit with a load of other kids (five nice girls) from 11.00 till midnight. Disco tomoro.
Saturday, 16 August
Went to a second-hand bookshop and dug out three paperbacks: Alien (16p), Marathon Man (16p), Day of the Locust (10p). Funshop. Food: f juice, c flakes, toast, tea. St Germain soup, ham salad, Madeira sponge + apricot sauce. Soup de jardinier (gardener soup), roast veal + sauté pots, mandarin flan, coff. Really nice food.
Leeds lost to Aston Villa 2–1 (Terry Connors) at home. ‘Adamson out.’
AM town and pool.
PM Corbiere Lighthouse walk. It was pretty shitty considering wot it was sposed to be. Just walking. It was hot tho’. Then sat by the pool till dinner.
Si + me sat with the remainders of yesterday’s lot. Four ninths (but the best two ninths) + Keith + Lorraine. It was just ballrooming etc. I bought three drinks. My God, one wasn’t even for me. It was for Paula. Born 14th March 1966. Castlefield, High Wycombe, Bucks.15
Monday, 18 August
Average day. Went St Ouens PM. Pool AM. Nice wevva. Menus: (see last Monday except for:)
2. Mock turtle soup, cod, blackb tart.
Why are you so worried about what I eat anyway? Went town smorning. My camera wot I dropped in a bloody rock pool Saturday is completely dead according to the Boots expert. They’ll have a go at developing the film that’s in it but I bought another camera (+ flash + film), same as ex-camera which Dad will pay for with insurance claim dough. Good business this insurance game int it?
Also bought Breaking Glass Hazel O’Connor album (£3.00) Boots. Can’t play it but I can look at the cover till 23rd.
Paula and Jackie went out again so moi + Si sat with Lisa and her bloody mate (her Dad bought us two ciders each) who disappeared at 11.00. Danced with two new girls, Karen and a fat one. Not as nice as Paula.
Thursday 21 August
Went Fort Reject (Regent – sorry). Played mini-golf and generally wasted money in amusement arcade. Godknowshowmuch. Went to discover Portelet Bay, some Frenchsoundingbloodyname beach and St Ouens (Owens, Oooens, O.N.s, Wons, Oo-ons, Ouens?) It was nothot. Bit windy but dry.
Menus: see last Thurs except:
2. Celery soup, steak chasseur, steam jam sponge.
Tonight, disco, brilliant music. Danced two slow ones with Lisa. Sat + danced with: Lisa, Deb, Liss, Paula, Jackie, Ashley, Tony in general. ‘Went out with’ Paula from 1.00am–1.34am.
Stayed up (too) bloody late. Had one and a half pts cider, one pt lager (and a packet of crisps please). Got hot and nackered and 1.00–1.34 was the best bit of the holiday.
Saturday, 23 August
Had an early breakfast eg. tea and toast. Set off from the Merton 7.00. Sealink (Caledonian Princess) left St Helier harber (spellt write) 8.00. Ship didn’t hit icebergs or blow up or even turn over. Pity, I might’ve met Gene Hackman. Met the Welsh couple + kidz who came over to Jerz with us, Mr and Mrs Thomas, would you believe?
Ate all the way home till 4.00. Piled into the car and didn’t get lost at Newbury and stopped at a Wimpy. God I love Wimpys. Home at 9.00-ish for more food. Chips and fish cake from chip shop. Got three Film Reviews among the pile of ‘should have been cancelled’ Chronics + bills + school report and Pete n Craig postcards etc.
From that ace hol I’ve gained:
A very experienced food palate, a liking for fish, a H O’Connor LP, Diana Ross single, tan, 8 paperbax, some Dad sick on my Harrington, 64 photos, two Smash Hits, Paula’s address, two sugar lumps, a new camera, 14 diary filled pages.
And lost:
About £14. My virginity.
Friday, 29 August
Dad took me and Pete round somebody-who-put-an-advert-in-Chron’s house. It was Steve Morris and he sold me (£30) snare drum (Hayman skin) on Premier stand, tom tom (Prem skin), cymbal + Prem stand and two stix. I love it. But the neighbours probably don’t. I like drums.
I am a filmgoer. Might go to film – Amityville – if I can grow six inches tonight. Strain.
Friday, 5 September
Shit, I can’t go to Wembley. Shit, I can’t get any good shoes. Shit, I can’t get any new jeans. Shit, I’ve only got a quid spare cash. Shit, Mum n Dad keep going on at me. Shit.
Monday, 8 September
Ha ha Jimmy Adamson has resigned from Leeds. Ha ha. We don’t care, you big-headed pillock with massif ears! Who will bring Leeds back to supreme power? Bremner, Clarke, Hackman, Lorimer, Hoffman or Charlton (Jack not Heston, Paul).
Bet Gene has never heard of Leeds United Football Club.
Wednesday, 1 October
Went to Farm16 disco 7.30–10.45 with Craig and Andy. Pete didn’t turn up. Lots of fun people there: Dawn and Lisa and Kate and Karen and John and Dick and Mick and Mick and Leigh and Andy M. and Tanya and Carly and Zoe, Tracy and Julie and Jo and Terry has had a Jam spike and Neil and a friend of Mick’s and Louise and Cindy and Jane and Toyah and etc. Music was fun. Diana George Jam Whispers etc. there was some ace light-type lights, strobe, flashings, smoke bombs … smoke bombs? Yes. Danced and sweated for 58% (approx) of night and my hair was dripping down my cap-sleeve neck. I left before the end in order to not get garroted by Dad after arriving 11.30 yestday. Everyone (approx) wore baggy trousers eg. Carly a good example. My God! Home at 10.55. No beheading by Dad. I am liquid at the moment. You could drown a hamster with the sweat in my baseball boots. Tired.
Saturday, 4 October
Dave and Paul and Neil came down smorning and Dave bought four singles, one of whom I borrowed eg. ‘Rock And Roll’ by Human League. I’m into it man. I wanna side part my hair and wear thin black ties and button-down collar black shirts and black baggies.17
Wednesday, 29 October
The following things are wrong with me:
I eat too much junk food.
I haven’t done Dad’s office a Xmas card yet.
I have only seen eight Gene films.
I sometimes get spots on my legs.
My teeth are crooked.
I want to go out with a girl from another county.
I laughed at a prison officer on BBC with Paul.18
I can only swim 100 metres.
I played terrible at squash on Tuesday.
I was late for Pressure.19
I missed Covenant With Death (Geno) yonx ago.
I don’t eat enough vegetables.
I am not going out with anyone.
I have forgotten Paula’s phone number.
I pick faults with myself.
Thursday, 20 November
Dad’s birthday. I got him a Mayfair. Good present. Mmmmmmmmm. I have just tasted something as nice as the tastes of malt bread, yogurt, ginger beer, Drifters, dry roasted peanuts all mixed together ie. one of Dad’s sherry liqueurs. Mmmm. I scored in hockey and a ball hit me on the head. Hockey is ace.
Saturday, 22 November
So! It was Kristin who transplanted a square inch of JR with a square inch of lead. Kristin, JR’s sister-in-law, is now JR’s sister-in-Strangeways. Thanx, Chronicle, for letting the secret out at 6pm. Mates. Haha, if you thort it was Sue Ellen.
Monday, 24 November
Why does everyone keep dying on me this year? Alf Hitch, Stevie, Mae West, Hattie Jacques, lead singer of Ruts, L.S. of Joy Division, George Raft, Peter Sellers, Yootha Joyce etc. Saw Film 80. Barry Normal hates The Island and Awakening.
Wednesday, 25 December
Ace stuff: new drum sticks, Python album, Not 9.00 News LP, Holy Grail book, Guinness Film Book, Golden Turkey Awards book, inks + brush, talc, scarf, felt tips, Elephant Man,20 French Connection,21 Graffiti 2, rubber, record box, biros, glue, razors, diary, sweat shirt, Merry Christmas.
1. Craig McKenna, soon-to-be bassist with The Brightest View and Absolute Heroes, was new to school and Northampton, having moved here from Watford (though his family were Scottish). He had almost translucent Gallic skin which reddened frequently, and blond hair eventually swept into an impressive wedge. His parents were the first people to own a new-fangled video recorder – certainly in my orbit, possibly the whole country. They seemed to be well-off – they lived in new cul-de-sac Kestrel Close (where my upwardly mobile parents moved in 1983). They had a dishwasher too! And their garden was full of dogshit, deposited by their three yappy terriers. Craig had an effortless cool about him, despite the redness, and was the first among us to get a legitimate girlfriend: Sarah Wadsworth.
2. My first glimpse of pubic hair in a film.
3. I wish I could see that video today – now that I have a ‘glamour’ career hem-hem.
4. The NCFE Film Club contributed greatly to my expanding mania for cinema. Not only did it show key X-rated American films to a then 15-year-old enthusiast (Invasion of the Bodysnatchers, Godfather Part II, Apocalypse Now, The Warriors), but subtitled ones too: French, Japanese, Hungarian, Cuban, German. My film-going companions were always Paul Garner and aforementioned Nene College cohorts Neil Stuart and David Freak.
5. Paul Garner was perhaps my most important friend in the fourth and fifth year, art buddy and film buddy (he was as obsessed with Charlton Heston as I was with Gene Hackman). Though he existed outside of the cooler orbit of Craig and Pete and the band, our friendship attained a higher plane through all the hours we spent together. We went on telly together, appeared in the paper together, drew published cartoons together. Paul actually went on to forge a career in commercial art, storyboarding and the like, and I bump into him a lot. A fine chap, with creativity coursing through his veins and a mordant sense of humour (he became convinced he was a werewolf during his diploma year at Nene).
6. Mate of Craig’s. Had a lot of disco records.
7. Andy Howkins, later nicknamed Howx, then Honx, because it was a funny word, and he was a funny boy. Stocky, Undertones fan (he actually went to London to see them play) self-effacing to the last and he had a table tennis table in his garage.
8. Matthew/Matt/Matty Allen, with whom I struck up a deep and unexpected kinship in art and history. The first of our lot to get hairs on his chin, obsessive about Monty Python’s ‘Embarrassment’ sketch and the drawings of Mad artist Don Martin (in particular the phonetic sound effect ‘Geeen!’), rode a scooter, played an acoustic guitar and dug Emerson, Lake & Palmer. Great guy. Became a postman.
10. I told you how barren Northampton was in those days. We had to go 50 miles to find an ice rink.
11. The same Jon who showed us a video of Deep Throat when we were in sixth form (and his parents were out). It certainly put Thunderbolt and Lightfoot in the shade.
12. It is, of course, a 999 lyric.
13. Not strictly his bowels, more like his stomach, since that’s where half-digested food comes from.
14. We were knocked out by the hotel experience as you can see. It was a bold, sophisticated new era for us after a lifetime of self-catering in Llithfaen. Looking back on the Merton, it was far from posh – more an oversized, ‘affordable’ establishment for old folks and families whose dining hall was like the world’s biggest canteen, but the idea of waiter service and occasional soups with French names made us feel as if we were at the Hotel Du Cap in Cannes, and we lapped up every minute of it.
15. My first Holiday Romance: a quick snog after hours in the TV room on her last night, which led to furious letter-writing and, in 1981, two visits to Northampton, where Paula and I pretended to be boyfriend and girlfriend. It was ultimately pretty chaste – we were only 15 – indeed, it was the saucy promises she made in her letters about what we would do after her 16th birthday that scared me off. No more letters. No more visits.
16. The Farm was a converted barn up Booth Lane that housed the youth club.
17. The day – for me, not Jon Savage – that punk died. Long live The Human League.
18. The prison officer we laughed at was on the documentary series Strangeways. I don’t know what was so funny.
19. Pressure was a gritty, low-budget 1974 British film about the black community in South London, with particular emphasis on Rastafarianism and sound systems. The Film Club showed it. More education for me (‘There really should have been subtitles,’ I wrote in my diary).
20. Making-of book.
21. The original novel by Robin Moore.