2.
The Human Condition

ge ru-wa nhagi mo choe

(Dzongkha, Bhutan)

the nose doesn’t smell the rotting head

Tightwad

However much we like to think that all those odd-looking, strange-speaking people around the world are different from us, the shocking evidence from language is that we are all too similar. Don’t most of us, whether we live in city, shanty-town or rural bliss, know one of these?

hallab el-namtnleh (Syrian Arabic) a miserly person (literally, ant milker)

krentenkakker (Dutch) one who doesn’t like spending money (literally, someone who shits raisins)

kanjus makkhichus (Hindi) a person so miserly that if a fly falls into his cup of tea, he’ll fish it out and suck it dry before throwing it away

yaalik (Buli, Ghana) sponging, always expecting help or gifts from others without being willing to offer help

False friends

ego (Rapanui, Easter Island) slightly soiled

hiya (Tagalog, Philippines) bashful

incoherent (French) inconsistent

liar (Malay) undomesticated

urn (Bosnian) mind, intellect

slug (Swedish) astute

Big-hearted

Fortunately, those are not the only kind of people on our beautiful and fragile planet:

pagad (Manobo, Philippines) to show consideration for a slow-walking person by also walking slowly, so that he can keep up

manàra-drìmitra (Malagasy, Madagascar) to involve oneself in another’s calamity by seeking to extricate him

elunud (Manobo, Philippines) to go deliberately to someone’s aid and share in his misfortune, regardless of the obviously ill-fated outcome

Ulterior motive

If only people displaying such fine qualities were always pure of heart. But the Italians are not the only ones who understand carita pelosa, generosity with an ulterior motive:

mutakarrim (Persian) one who makes pretensions to generosity

Tantenverführer (German) a young man of excessively good manners whom you suspect of devious motives (literally, aunt seducer)

uunguta (Yamana, Chile) to give much more to one than to others

Obligation

Then again, sometimes the totally sincere can be altogether too much:

Bärendienst (German) an act someone does for you thinking they are doing you a favour, but which you really didn’t want them to do

arigata-meiwaku (Japanese) an act someone does for you thinking they are doing you a favour, but which you really didn’t want them to do; added to which, social convention now requires you to express suitable gratitude in return

Watching the English

In Greek megla (derived from ‘made in England’) denotes elegance and supreme quality and jampa (derived from ‘made in Japan’) means very cheap. Other languages use rather different standards of Englishness in their idioms:

s kliden Angličana (Czech) as calm as an Englishman

ubbriaco come un marinaio inglese (Italian) as drank as an English sailor

filer à l‘anglaise (French) to slip away like the English

Hat over the windmill

Rather than being a sucker who takes consideration for other people’s feelings too far, perhaps it would be better to be one of those enviable individuals who simply doesn’t give a damn?

menefreghista (Italian) a person who has an ‘I don’t care’ attitude

piitaamaton (Finnish) unconcerned about other people’s feelings

i v oos nye doot (Russian) not to give a damn (literally, it doesn’t blow in one’s moustache)

no me importa un pepino (Spanish) I don’t care two hoots (literally, I don’t care a cucumber)

jeter son bonnet par-dessus les moulins (French) to throw caution to the winds (literally, to throw one’s hat over the windmills)

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Number one

On second thoughts, perhaps not. For the line between self-confidence and self-centredness is always horribly thin:

szakbarbár (Hungarian) a crank who can think of nothing but his/her subject

iakićagheća (Dakota, USA) one who is unreasonable in his demands, one who keeps asking for things after he should stop

kverulant (Czech) a chronic complainer, a litigious person

hesomagari (Japanese) perverse or cantankerous (literally, bent belly button)

Warm showerer

The Germans have pinpointed some particularly egotistic types:

Klugscheisser someone who always knows best (literally, smart shitter)

Warmduscher someone who is easy on himself (literally, warm showerer)

Trittbrettfahrer to take advantage of someone else’s efforts without contributing anything (literally, the person who rides on the stepping board of a bus or train without buying a ticket)

Nose in the clouds

And it’s another short step from egotism to conceit:

péter plus haut que son cul (French) to think highly of yourself (literally, to fart higher than your arse)

creerse la ultima Coca-Cola en el desierto (Central American Spanish) to have a very high opinion of oneself (literally, to think one is the last Coca-Cola in the desert)

nosom para oblake (Serbian) he’s conceited, puffed up (literally, he’s ripping clouds with his nose)

khenh khang (Vietnamese) to walk slowly like an important person, to put on airs

cuello duro (Spanish) a snob, stuck-up (literally, hard or stiff neck – from keeping one’s nose in the air)

Impressing

Almost as irritating as the conceited and the pompous are those who fail to see that, as they say in the Kannada language of Southern India, ‘Tumbida koDa tuLukuvudilla’, the pot which is full does not splash:

farolero (Spanish) a show-off (literally, a lantern maker)

m’as-tu-vu (French) a show-off (literally, one who constantly asks other people ‘Did you see me?’)

Spesenritter (German) someone who shows off by paying the bill on the firm’s money (literally, expense knight)

poshlost (Russian) ostentatious bad taste

jor-joran (Indonesian) to compete in showing off one’s wealth

elintasokilpailu (Finnish) keeping up with the Joneses

Sucking up

And yet, despite their obvious failings, both snobs and show-offs are often surrounded by the human equivalent of a benign parasite. As the Spanish say, ‘La lisonja hace amigos, y la verdad enemigos’, flattery makes friends and truth makes enemies:

chupamedias (Chilean Spanish) a sycophant (literally, sock sucker)

banhista (Portuguese) someone who soft-soaps another

digdig (Manobo, Philippines) to praise a person for the quality which he lacks in order to encourage him to develop that quality

jijirika (Chichewa, Malawi) to curry favour by doing more than expected, but not necessarily well

Eejit

Can it get worse? Unfortunately it can:

lū-lū (Hindi) an idiot, nincompoop

gugbe janjou (Tibetan) a stupid person trying to be clever

kaptsn (Yiddish) one who does not amount to anything and never will

eldhus-fifi (Old Icelandic) an idiot who sits all day by the fire

el semaforo de medianoche (Venezuelan Spanish) a person no one respects and of whom everyone takes advantage, a pushover (literally, traffic light at midnight)

Salt in the pumpkin

‘It is foolish to deal with a fool,’ say the practical Japanese, though the Chinese wisely observe that ‘He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.’ Such observations reveal what the Catalans call seny, a canny common sense. Others value such qualities too:

ha sale in zucca (Italian) he has common sense (literally, he’s got salt in the pumpkin)

lapchaty goos (Russian) a sly old fox (literally, a cunning goose)

baser (Arabic) one with great insight or one who is blind

Idiot savant

In Italy you are stupido come l’acqua dei maccheroni, as stupid as macaroni water; in Lithuania, kvailas kaip žasis, as silly as a goose; while in France you can be as stupid as une cruche (a pitcher), un pot (a pot) or un chou (a cabbage). But even idiots are not necessarily all they seem:

adalahendry (Malagasy, Madagascar) a person ignorant yet wise in some things

Spruchkasper (German) a fool full of wise sayings

apo trelo kai apo pedi mathenis tin aletheia (Greek proverb) from a crazy person and from children you learn the truth

Pregnant birds

Although the very young can delight us with their wonderful and surprising remarks, naivety is not, sadly, a state of mind that will work for a lifetime:

creer en pajaritos preñados (Venezuelan Spanish) to be credulous (literally, to believe in pregnant birds)

yelang zida (Chinese) ludicrous conceit stemming from pure ignorance

lolo (Hawaiian Pidgin) someone who would be glad to give you the time of day, if he knew how to read a clock

A piece of bread

How wonderful it is when we meet that rare person who just gets it right all the time:

katundu (Chichewa, Malawi) a person with outstanding positive qualities

Lieblingsstück (German) the favourite item of a collection (said of someone special)

para quitar el hipo (Latin American Spanish) very impressive; astonishing (literally, enough to cure the hiccups)

es un pedazo de pan (Spanish) he/she’s a good person/it’s a good thing (literally, he/she/it is a piece of bread)

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IDIOMS OF THE WORLD

A leopard cannot change its spots

chassez le naturel, il revient au gallop (French) chase away the natural and it returns at a gallop

aus einem Ackergaul kann man kein Rennpferd machen (Swabian German) you cannot turn a farm horse into a racehorse

dhanab al kalb a ’waj walaw hattaytu fi khamsin galib (Arabic) the dog’s tail remains crooked even if it’s put in fifty moulds

vuk dlaku mljenja ali æud nikada (Croatian) a wolf changes his coat but not his attitude

die Katze lässt das Mausen nicht (German) the cat will not abandon its habit of chasing mice

chi nasce quadrate non muore tondo (Italian) if you are born square you don’t die round

karishkirdi kancha baksang dele tokoigo kachat (Kyrgyz) no matter how well you feed a wolf it always looks at the forest

gorbatogo mogila ispravit (Russian) only the grave will cure the hunchback