beware of the goat from its front side, of the horse – from its back side, and the evil man – from any side
Our face is our fortune, they say, but some are undeniably more fortunate than others:
chimmurui no kao (Japanese) a face that would stop a clock
kwabbig (Dutch) flabby pendulous cheeks
orilti (Anywa, Nilo-Saharan) wrinkles on the forehead
papada (Spanish) a double chin
boirg (Gaelic) a small screwed-up mouth
busachd (Gaelic) the deformity of blubber-lips
bemandromba (Malagasy, Madagascar) having a large and ill-looking head
avoir un oeil qui joue au billard et l’autre qui compte les points (French) said of someone who is cross-eyed (literally, to have one eye that’s playing billiards while the other is off counting the points)
ache (Bashgali, India) an eye
bonk (Dutch) bone
flint (Swedish) bald head
glad (Dutch) smooth, sleek
groin (French) snout
honk (Armenian) eyebrow
mute (Latvian) mouth
pea (Estonian) head
pong (Khowar, Pakistan) foot
Of course it’s all too easy to spoil the appearance of what we’ve been given…
vaaye-nokke (Malayalam) to stare at somebody with your mouth open (literally, mouth-see)
gaillseach (Gaelic) a large mouthful which makes the cheeks bulge out
… especially if we’re putting it to good use:
kecomak-kecamik (Indonesian) to move the mouth around when eating something or saying a prayer
fújtat (Hungarian) to pant, puff and blow
menggonggong (Malay) to carry something in your mouth
ayapsun (Dakota, USA) to pull something out by the roots using the mouth
raspakbivat’ varezhky (Russian) to drop one’s jaw in surprise or amazement (literally, to open someone’s mitten)
With the fleshiest part of that useful opening, emotion can easily get the better of appearance:
maiskuttaa (Finnish) to smack one’s lips
bibidia (Swahili) to thrust out and turn down the lower lip as a sign of derision or contempt
In many parts of the world, the tongue is not used just for speaking or eating:
tam-tac (Vietnamese) to smack the tongue as a sign of admiration
mitimiti (Rapa Nui, Easter Island) to click one’s tongue as a sign of disagreement or of annoyance (tsk, tsk)
auau (Bugotu, Solomon Islands) to stick the tongue out
lamz (Persian) rolling the tongue about the mouth to pick the teeth
imel-es (Ik, Nilo-Saharan) to move the tongue in and out like a snake
Americans talk disparagingly of ‘English teeth’, but England is not the only country in the world where dental radiance could be improved:
kasyápa (Sanskrit) having black teeth
kadadat (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) possessing only half of your original teeth
wahdatepa (Dakota, USA) to wear one’s own teeth short
si gwa pau (Cantonese) someone with buck teeth (literally, watermelon shoveller)
The Italians say, ‘Teeth placed before the tongue give good advice’; and whatever your gnashers look like, you can always put them to good use:
gigil (Tagalog, Philippines) the gritting of the teeth when controlling emotion
n’wayin’wayi (Tsonga, South Africa) to smile showing the teeth
ntseka (Tsonga, South Africa) to squirt forcibly through the teeth
ki’it (Manobo, Philippines) to bite off something with the front teeth (as when eating corn on the cob)
yigul-a (Yamana, Chile) to pull out stitches with the teeth
eeti (Rapanui, Easter Island) to strip off bark or hard skin with the teeth
dona (Yamana, Chile) to take out lice from a person’s head and squash them between one’s teeth
dentilegus (Latin) one who picks up his teeth after they have been knocked out
When the French talk of aiming for the impossible, they say they are trying to prendre la lune avec les dents, literally, to seize the moon with one’s teeth; to be very ambitious, likewise, is avoir les dents qui rayent le parquet, to have teeth that scratch the floor. For the Finns, to do something unwillingly is pitkin hampain, with long teeth; while for the Spanish, andar con el diente largo, walking around with long teeth, means to be very hungry.
‘The eyes are the mirror of the soul,’ say the Japanese, echoing an English saying. But often it’s the more mundane aspects of these organs that people worry about:
xitsavatsava (Tsonga, South Africa) the involuntary twitching of an eyelid or eyebrow
bitlisisa (Setswana, Botswana) a sore eye that has been rubbed
kuseng (Manobo, Philippines) to rub one’s eyes with the back of the hand
rabun ayam (Malay) poor eyesight, especially during sunset
As with the teeth, our peepers are at their best when they’re put to use:
gwilgat (Breton, France) to watch from the corner of one’s eye
langut (Malay) to look upwards longingly
pangangalumbabà (Tagalog, Philippines) a pensive look (with the head supported by the palm)
ingikaranawá (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) to wink significantly
vekaveka (Luvale, Zambia) the shiftiness of eyes, looking here and there with madness or evil intent
temuna (Luvale, Zambia) to pull down an eyelid in mockery
embila (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to pretend to be cross-eyed
The French say that ‘a big nose never spoiled a handsome face’, a charitable judgement, perhaps influenced by the many fine probosci to be found in that country. But others have more serious problems than mere size:
khuranásá (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) one having a nose like a horse’s hoof
tapíl (Tagalog, Philippines) flat-nosed
bapp-nose (Scots) a nose threatening to meet the chin
ngongò (Tagalog, Philippines) one who talks with a twang due to a nasal disorder
patināsikā (Pali, India) a false nose
Big or small, flat or sticky-out, our final external organs on the head are also closely observed by our worldwide languages:
anak telinga (Malay) the external gristly portion of the ear
budálu (Telugu, India) the place where the top of the ear meets the head
ukkanna (Pali, India) having the ears erect
n’wii (Tsonga, South Africa) to have buzzing in the ears, as when under water
parece Volkswagen con las puertas abiertas (Latin American Spanish) big-eared (literally, he looks like a Volkswagen with the doors open)
In the Tok Pisin language of Papua New Guinea, they call hair gras bilong het. Such grass may take different forms, quite apart from appearing in all the wrong places:
kesuir (Malay) hairy nostrils
gejigeji-mayuge (Japanese) bushy eyebrows (literally, centipede eyebrows)
giri-giri (Hawaiian Pidgin) the place where two or three hairs stick up no matter what
mas (Hindi) soft hair appearing above a lad’s upper lip, heralding the imminent advent of youth
kapúcchala (Sanskrit) a tuft of hair on the hind part of the head (hanging down like a tail)
pédevádu (Telugu, India) a man upon whose face hair does not grow
For many men age brings a related and inescapable problem:
katok (Russian) a bald patch (literally, a skating rink)
baakoodo hage Japanese) said of a man with receding hair who combs what remains at the sides over the top of his head (literally, barcode bald, due to how it looks viewed from above)
hlohlwe (Tsonga, South Africa) a forehead with corners devoid of hair (applied to a person whose hair is receding)
tako-nyudo (Japanese) a baldy (literally, octopus monk)
The French, in particular, have a fine range of expressions for this challenging condition:
avoir le melon déplumé to have a plucked melon
avoir une boule de billard to have a billiard ball
ne plus avoir de cresson sur la cafetière no longer to have watercress on the coffeepot
ne plus avoir de gazon sur la platebande no longer to have a lawn on the flowerbed
avoir la casquette en peau de fesses to have a cap made out of buck skin
être chauve comme un genou to be as bald as a knee
avoir un vélodrome à mouches to have a velodrome for flies
We have upper and lower arms and elbows, but the Swedes have a word for the opposite side of the arm from the elbow – armveck. Other useful words stress the practical uses of these appendages:
kwapatira (Chichewa, Malawi) to carry something tucked under the arm
cholat (Malay) to dig with the elbow or the hand
athevotho (Bugotu, Solomon Islands) to swing the arms, wave or clear away smoke
In the West, the birthdays that are particularly celebrated are those of coming of age: 18 and 21. In Japan, the older you get the more solemnly your birthday (sanga) is celebrated. The birthdays of especial importance are:
40: shoro, the beginning of old age, since Confucius said: ‘When I was forty I did not wander.’
61: kanreki, the completion of the sixty-year cycle; the celebrant wears a red cap and a red kimono and is congratulated by everybody for having become ‘a newborn baby once more’
70: koki, rare age, so called because the poet Tu Fu said that it was a privilege for a person to reach the age of seventy
77: kiju, long and happy life
88: beiju, the rice birthday
These last two birthdays gain their names from the similarity of the Japanese ideograms for ‘joy’ and ‘rice’ to those for the numbers 77 and 88 respectively.
In the Tsonga language of South Africa they have the expressive word vunyiriri, the stiffness of hands and feet felt on cold wintry mornings; while the Telugu language of India describes kamikili, the hand held with fingers bent and separated. However they’ repositioned, their uses are manifold:
apphoteti (Pali, India) to clap the hands as a sign of pleasure
aupiupiu (Mailu, Papua New Guinea) to flick an insect off the body
ka-cha-to-re (Car, Nicobar Islands) to hang down by one’s hands
duiri (Buli, Ghana) to pass one’s hands over skin so that the hairs stand up
pamamaywáng (Tagalog, Philippines) placing the hands on one’s hips
geu (Bugotu, Solomon Islands) to thrust one’s hand into a bag
And two are even better than one:
raup (Malay) to scoop up with both hands
anjali (Hindi) the cup-shaped hollow formed by joining the two palms together
chal (Car, Nicobar Islands) to lift up something heavy using both hands
kaf faksara (Rotuman, South Pacific) to clap the hands with one finger bent inwards to make a hollow sound
‘Without fingers,’ say the Moroccans, ‘the hand would be a spoon.’ And where indeed would we be without our essential digits?
gamaza (Arabic) to take with the fingertips
gutόl (Tagalog, Philippines) snipping with the fingernails
menonjolkan (Malay) to push one’s fingers into someone’s face
tstumi-oidagana (Yamana, Chile) to offer one’s finger or any part of oneself to be bitten
sena (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) the time that elapses while snapping the thumb and forefinger ten times
In French, starting from the one nearest the thumb, you have index; majeur – biggest finger; annulaire – ring finger; and, last but not least, aurlculaire – literally, the ear finger, because it’s the only one small enough to stick in your ear. But if your digits don’t stop there, you have to go to the Luvale language of Zambia for the sambwilo, the sixth finger or toe.
In the Malay language, they use the space between the fingers for a series of useful measurements:
jengkal the span between thumb and finger
jengkul the span between thumb and index finger
telunjok the span between thumb and the joint of the bent index finger
ketengkeng the span between thumb and little finger
Further down the body, one reaches those parts generally described as private. In Southern Africa, they appear to have thought more than most about keeping it that way:
phindzela (Tsonga, South Africa) to cover one’s private parts carefully
tswi (Tsonga, South Africa) to expose one’s private parts by bending forward
ikokomela (Setswana, Botswana) to look at one’s own private parts
The Japanese have a memorable vocabulary to describe their (male) genitalia:
imo a potato, a penis that is short and fat
tōgarashi a red pepper, a penis that is small and pink
gobō a burdock, a penis that is large and tubular
kenke small, tight testicles (literally pickles)
karakasa a paper parasol, a penis that is unusually top-heavy
French slang uses even more elaborate metaphors. A penis is either une anguille de calecif, an underwear eel, or un cigare à moustache, a cigar with a moustache. In similarly fanciful fashion, breasts are described as une mappemonde, literally, a map of the world (spread across two hemispheres).
Round the back, it seems, we are free to be frank, especially in East Africa and the Philippines:
shuri (Swahili) a person whose buttocks stick out more than those of the average person
tuwad (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to make one’s buttocks project
egklsu-kisu (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to move the buttocks little by little
pinginyika (Swahili) to move the buttocks with a circular motion when walking or dancing
When it comes to the legs, English has no word to describe the back of the knee. Irish Gaelic calls it the ioscaid, the Swedes knäveck, while the Native American Dakota language calls it hunyoka-khmin. Other languages are similarly descriptive about both the appearance and the movement of our lower half:
euischios (Ancient Greek) with beautiful hips
melkflessen (Dutch) bare legs which have not been suntanned (literally, milk bottles)
kerchiholl (Albanian) having thin lower legs
anyula (Tsonga, South Africa) to open one’s legs indecently
hiza ga warau (Japanese) the wobbly feeling you have in your legs after dashing up several flights of stairs (literally, my knees are laughing)
When it comes to the whole package, there are differences of opinion about how substantial you should be. In general, the modern world applauds the skinny, even as our languages hark back to a less prosperous age in their comparisons:
ser magro como um palito (Portuguese) to be as thin as a toothpick
zo mager als een lat zijn (Dutch) to be as thin as a wooden latch
po ru zhu (Mandarin) thin as paper
flaco como un güin (Cuban Spanish) thin as a sugar-cane flower
kostur slab (Macedonian) thin as a skeleton
loksh (Yiddish) a noodle, a tall thin person
While fatties come in for all kinds of criticism:
vuthlkithlki (Tsonga, South Africa) body fat which shakes at every step
juyaku-bara (Japanese) a paunch (literally, company director’s stomach)
tivili (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) a person with three dents in his belly (from fatness)
foca (Spanish) a very fat woman (literally, a seal)
yongzhong (Chinese) too fat and clumsy to move
gordo como una buoya (Cuban Spanish) fat as a buoy
abspecken (German) losing weight (literally, de-baconing)
fai prima a saltargli sopra die girargli intorno (Italian) it’s faster to jump on him than go round him (because he’s so fat)
Not, of course, that you can always judge from appearances:
Sitzriese (German) someone who is actually quite short but looks tall when they’re sitting down (literally, sitting giant)
edtiudan (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to pretend to be lame
rozhdennyj polzat letat ne mozhet (Russian) if you’re born to crawl you can’t fly
on ne peut faire d’une buse unépervier (French) you can’t turn a buzzard into a sparrowhawk
al draagt een aap een gouden ring, het is en blijft een lelijk ding (Dutch) even if the monkey wears a golden ring it remains ugly
fare le nozze con i fichi secchi (Italian) to celebrate a wedding with dried figs