Amy goes all-out for Nowruz dinner: saffron-marinated salmon with sabzi polow, roasted chicken with zereshk polow, a whole platter of Persian sweets ordered direct from a bakery in California.
It’s the one holiday of the year Dad always takes off; he’s in charge of the haft-seen in the living room, and sorting out the sabzi from the little herb garden in the backyard, and picking out presents for me and Jasmine.
To my surprise—and Jasmine’s utter shock—Dad got us both new phones.
“I figured it was time for an upgrade,” he says. “Besides, there was a sale.”
Even the deliciousness of dinner—and zereshk polow is my favorite—can’t stop me from setting up my phone and texting Liam right away.
New phone!!
Happy new years!!
Thanks
How's break?
I miss you
Miss you more
It's okay
Mom wanted to know if I was okay with her “exploring the dating world again”
Awkward
Right?
“What’re you smiling at?” Amy asks.
“Nothing.”
But Amy shakes her head. “I know that smile.”
“Huh?”
“Who is it?”
My face starts burning. Despite what I told Bowie, I still haven’t found the right opening to tell Jasmine about me and Liam. I hoped that maybe, after Nowruz dinner, with her full of tea and sweets and presents, I might be able to tell her without causing an explosion.
But I wasn’t planning on getting interrogated at the dinner table.
“No one,” I say. “Show stuff.”
Amy just shakes her head. “All right, keep your secrets. Tell us when you’re ready.”
“Tell us what?” Dad says, looking up from his own phone.
“Who’s making him smile that way.”
Dad looks at me. “You dating someone, Jackson?”
I must be turning redder than our tablecloth.
Before I can answer, though, Jasmine lets out a laugh. I stare at her.
“What’s so funny?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
“Okay . . .”
But she shrugs. “It’s just. You. Dating someone.”
“What’s wrong with me dating someone?”
“Nothing. But . . .” She waves her hand at me.
“What?”
“You’re like, the most cynical person I know.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask.
“Oh, you know what I mean! You’re not exactly the romantic type. You know?”
“I can be romantic.”
“If you say so.” She smiles. “Hey. When it goes south, I can always help you make a breakup list.”
“It’s not going to go south!”
Jasmine grins. I snap my mouth shut. I’ve all but confirmed it now.
“Come on. So . . . who is it?”
“I’m not talking about this right now!”
“Aww, don’t be embarrassed.”
“You can tell us when you’re ready,” Amy says.
I nod but keep my head down. My ears are on fire.
Jasmine waves.
“Hey.”
“Huh?”
“I’m happy for you.”
Let’s hope she’s still happy when I tell her who it is.
After way too much dinner and way too much dessert—and after FaceTiming our family in St. Louis—I go upstairs only to find Jasmine in my room.
“Uh. Hey?”
“Hey. Where’s your notebook?”
“Huh?”
“Your notebook.”
“Why?”
“I just . . .” She blows out a breath. “I need something.”
“From my notebook?”
“I need Liam’s list. Okay?”
“What?” I shake my head.
What could she need it for now? She hasn’t asked about it in weeks. I thought she was over him.
I thought I could finally tell her about us.
“Sorry,” she says. “But tonight just brought it all back. How much he hurt me.”
“Can’t you just be happy for me? Without making it all about you?”
Jasmine glares at me. “How exactly am I making this about me?”
“It means you always say we’re in this together. That we can always count on each other. But at the end of the day, I’m supposed to be happy for you, but you’re never happy for me.”
Jasmine lets out an ugly laugh. “Have you met yourself? You’re somethingsomething incapable of being happy. You’ve spent your life making lists of people’s faults so you can push them away. You don’t let anyone get close to you because you’re so afraid they’ll leave you.”
“They always do!” I say before I can stop myself.
Jasmine rolls her eyes. “Just because you have abandonment issues, it doesn’t mean the rest of us have to live in your cynical little world.”
“Yeah, I’m so cynical,” I say. “How cynical of me to think that just once, you could be glad that someone actually likes me.”
“Yeah, well, just wait and see how long it lasts. Maybe then you’ll know what it feels like to have your heart broken.”
She stalks out of my room and slams the door shut.
I sink to my bed.
Guess I’m not telling her about me and Liam tonight.