Chapter Six

She’d finally decided on the tattoo. After scrolling through a gazillion websites and spending hours lost down many rabbit holes, the idea of getting a couple of meaningful words tattooed on her skin appealed to her the most. Simple. Straightforward. Significant.

Then, of course she’d have to decide if she wanted a fancy script. Or plain typewriter print. Or something in between. She still wasn’t sure, but she was confident the tattoo artist would be able to suggest the best way to go. Part of it, she imagined, would depend where on her body she wanted her ink. She’d never imagined there were so many choices.

Katie’s first instinct was to put it on her back where she could keep it covered up and maybe no one would ever know it was there. Except her. And her doctor. Oh, and the guys she had flings with.

But that was the coward’s way out. If she was going to the trouble and the cost and the time and the pain of getting a tattoo, it should at least be somewhere she could see it. And she didn’t want to hide it. It wasn’t going to be a secret. It was going to be a statement.

My Time. MY time. MY Time. MY TIME. Which one? Another decision to make.

Katie still hadn’t made up her mind when Carter strolled in the door that afternoon. She slammed shut the notebook where she’d been writing down different versions of the phrase like she were a teenager scribbling her boyfriend’s name on the corner of her homework paper. She clasped her hand on top of the notebook and glanced up innocently from her usual chair at the kitchen table.

Carter had been stopping by almost every afternoon for coffee since Sean started school. He’d often helped Sean with homework if math was giving her son trouble—math was so not her subject. Even when Sean was older and he’d stayed late at school or worked his part-time job at Colburn and Sons, Carter would still stop by after work more often than not. So she should be used to his presence in her kitchen. She was used to him here.

Today he seemed to suck up the air she needed to breathe, pacing up and down the length of the kitchen. Her skin prickled. Maybe from the nervous energy he was giving off. More likely from the memories of that kiss last night. Time to shake that off.

“Hi.” She popped in a pod of the dark roast he liked so well. She was still prickling. She kept her back to him while she waited for the coffee to brew. “How did it go with Worthington?”

“Good.”

He didn’t say anything more, so she couldn’t resist looking over her shoulder. He still stood in the same place, staring at her as if he was trying to decide what to say to her. Maybe he was having trouble breathing, too. Was he thinking about their kiss? Or was he concerned about the fact that they were pretty much stuck pretending to be dating for a while? It would be awkward to pretend to be dating Carter, but she was sure they’d work it out.

And still he hadn’t said anything. “What is it?” she demanded.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

That tone of voice made her bristle. “I’m making you a cup of coffee,” she replied smoothly. “Did you want something else instead?”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Katie turned around slowly and placed the mug of hot coffee carefully on the table. This was a great example of why she’d never get married again. She shouldn’t have to explain herself to anyone. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re talking about then, Carter?”

He must have heard the danger in her voice because he stepped back, bumping into the door. “Hey, I didn’t mean to get you angry, but we need to talk about what we discussed last night. What you think you want to do. What you asked me to help you with.”

She had no problem playing dumb when he couldn’t even come right out and say what he meant. “I thought you wanted to talk about us pretending to be dating.”

He blinked. “No. Well, yes. But not right now. First I want to talk about this crazy idea of yours.” He dropped into his chair and slid the cup in front of him.

Katie couldn’t sit down. She crossed her arms and rested her hip on the edge of the table. “So you want to lecture me about my life choices?”

He ran his hand over his face. “No. Well, yes.”

“You have no right to judge me.”

“I’m not judging you. I just don’t like the sound of it.”

“Have you changed your mind then?” She wasn’t going to beg for his help. “Like I told you, I hadn’t even planned to ask you in the first place. I’ll find someone else to help me. Or the hell with it, I’ll just jump into the deep end and learn as I go. Maybe I’ll hit a bar on the other side of the lake where no one knows me.”

“Kat, think about this.”

She yanked open the fridge and grabbed a handful of the veggies. She had to do something with her frustration. Guess she was making soup tonight. “You don’t know better than me what I want. I’m not a child.”

“I know you’re not, and I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

She dumped the veggies onto a big white cutting board on the counter and pulled a sharp knife out of the drawer. She turned to face him, the knife in her hand. “So what did you want to talk about?”

He held out his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be going out and looking for sex.”

“I see.” She turned her back on him and sliced a carrot with swift sharp strokes. “Isn’t that what you’ve done your whole life?” Other guys did it, too. So did women who were confident in their sexuality.

He came up beside her and pulled a bowl from the upper cabinet. “No…yes, sometimes, but, Katie Kat, it should come naturally.”

She dumped the carrot slices into the bowl Carter had gotten down for her. “But it doesn’t come naturally for me. It’s awkward. And scary.”

“I’m not talking about the flirting. I’m talking about meeting someone you’d trust before you have sex with him. You should meet a guy first and then work up to dating.”

Katie rolled her eyes and cut up a couple of stalks of celery in quick, angry strokes. Carter should have been a father. He could have been giving his teenage daughter this same conversation. “Where? How? If I don’t go out where there are men my age, how am I supposed to meet them to begin with?”

She tipped the cutting board to dump the celery, then grasped the green pepper and quickly sliced it. “I guess I could always sign up for internet dating. There are sites now for people over forty.”

Carter huffed. “Be serious. I’m thinking of your safety here.”

To be honest, the idea made her nervous, but she wasn’t going to let Carter know that. “I know. I’ll get a cat.”

He stared at her. “A cat?”

Katie washed her hands and put the chopped veggies back in the fridge. Then she turned to face Carter. “Yeah, I’m going to get a cat. Then I can take it to the veterinary clinic and get to know Sam Hernandez a little better. Sam is single. And hot.”

Carter sat again and took a sip of his coffee. “I think Sam might have a thing for Ginny.”

“Really? Does she know about it? Because I’ve never heard her mention anything about him.” Katie sat and grabbed her coffee, but it had cooled too much, and she pushed it away.

Carter stared into his cup. “I don’t know, Kat. I don’t think I can do this.”

“This…conversation? This…helping me get my sexual confidence back? Or this…kiss me again?” She shouldn’t want to kiss him again. But she did.

She couldn’t decipher the expression on his face when he looked up at her. “I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t have anything against you meeting a guy. Dating him. Doing whatever you want to do with him. Of course you deserve to be happy. Tim’s been gone for a long time. But this calculated plan of yours to up your flirting skills so you can go to a bar and seduce a guy, it’s…it’s…”

“Too much like what guys do?” she replied wryly.

“I can’t talk to you about this.”

“You’re sounding like an overprotective older brother.” Or a jealous lover. And Carter was neither.

“I’m your friend. I’ll always be your friend.” He rubbed his hand over his face, then pushed away his half-full cup. “Thanks for the coffee. I’m going home.”

She stood with him, trying not to show her disappointment. “You’ve changed your mind? You won’t help me practice?”

“You don’t need my help. You don’t need to pretend anything.”

Katie made a face. “Except I have to keep pretending to be your girlfriend. We can’t forget that.”

“We can get away with breaking up in a couple of weeks.” He sounded tired. “We’ll explain to everyone that we discovered we’re better friends than we are lovers, okay?”

“Okay.” There was a part of her that was sad she’d never get another Carter-kiss. They’d never be lovers. But that wasn’t her goal anyway, she reminded herself. Having sex with Carter had never made her list. “Thanks for hearing me out. Finding my mojo is on my list, so I’m going forward with it. I won’t bother you with any of the details.”

“I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad. This is my life. My time. I was wrong to try to drag you into it.” She cleared her throat. “I’m going to be busy for the next few days, so we’ll have to skip coffee for the rest of the week.”

Carter studied her the way he had when he first came in. She didn’t like the embarrassment that rolled in her stomach. Or the stupid pain of rejection. How could she have begged him to help her seduce another man? Friends didn’t ask friends to do something like that.

…

Carter waved down Sherry, one of the waitresses at Bud’s, and ordered another couple of pitchers of beer. Noah’s bachelor party was well underway. The three Colburn brothers sat around a large round table in the back corner along with some of Noah’s lifelong friends. Since this was a small town, most of the guys were friends of Carter’s and Beck’s, too, including Sam Hernandez, the veterinarian Katie apparently had the hots for.

Carter shouldn’t have been thinking about Katie tonight of all nights. This was the guys’ night out. Why should he still be obsessing about that kiss and the other things she asked him to do? He hadn’t seen her in the past few days, but people kept stopping him on the sidewalk and asking about her. So happy for him and Katie. Where was Katie? Why wasn’t Katie with him? And it hadn’t gotten any better tonight at the local bar and grill. He should have thought things through before they agreed to carry on a pretend relationship. They were lying to friends and family, and he didn’t like it one bit.

“Hey, Carter, it’s about time you and Katie made it official.” Herb McNabb, the retired postmaster, stopped at their table and yelled above the rowdy conversations at the table. “Where is she tonight?”

“It’s a bachelor party, Herb,” Beck shouted back. “She wasn’t invited.”

“Well, hell, of course not.” Herb grabbed an empty chair from a nearby table and pulled it up between Sam and Noah. “I’m a bachelor. I’ll join in.”

Laughter rang around the table. “Always room for one more,” Noah told him.

Herb turned to Carter. “So you and Katie are getting married soon then?”

Carter almost spit out his beer. “No, Herb, this is Noah’s bachelor party.”

“Oh sure. He’s marrying Aggie’s granddaughter. I heard about that.” Herb accepted a glass Carter filled from the closest pitcher. “You know, I used to have a thing for Aggie, but she never gave me the time of day.”

“Shame.” Beck raised his glass. “Here’s to all the women who didn’t know what the hell they were missing.”

A cheer went out around the table. The two pitchers emptied in the blink of an eye. The pizza better get out there pretty soon.

“Glad Katie finally saw what was right in front of her,” Beck told Carter.

The too-much-beer already sloshing in Carter’s stomach made him queasy. He’d wanted to tell his brothers that he and Katie weren’t really dating, but he was afraid somehow Ginny would find out and she’d never been able to keep a secret in her life. “How do you know it wasn’t me who didn’t see what was right in front of me?”

As soon as the lighthearted quip was out of his mouth, Carter’s heart lurched. No. Of course, there wasn’t really any truth to that statement. He knew what Katie was to him. His best friend. He hated that they’d lost that easy way they had together. When he’d come down for soup that night, she’d pressed a container filled with vegetable soup into his hands and sent him away. Next thing he knew, she’d be ignoring his texts and letting his calls go to voicemail.

Beck laughed. “Wouldn’t surprise me at all, bro. Promise me when it’s time for your bachelor party, it can be more exciting than this one.”

“Hey.” Noah drained his mug. “This is plenty exciting.”

Beck grimaced and turned back to Carter. “Just name me as your best man and I’ll plan the whole thing.”

He hated lying to his family. “Way too early to be talking about that.” But for some reason, he didn’t feel that brick wall his mind had thrown up in the past whenever he thought about settling down with one woman. It was just pretend.

“Come on. You two have basically been together for what? Fifteen years? You both raised Sean together, for heaven’s sake. It’s crazy you haven’t gotten married before now.”

“Beck…”

“All I’m saying is that whoever got their head out of their ass first, I’m glad you two finally got together.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Herb called out.

“You’ll drink to anything,” Carter mumbled.

“Damn straight.”

Laughter rang out around the table again, and then Sherry finally came out with the mushroom-and-pepperoni party pizza. Lindsey, the other waitress on duty tonight, followed with the meat lover’s.

“Be right back with a couple more pitchers.” When Sherry talked, her bright-pink lipstick flashed like a neon sign. “Hey, Carter, is your new girlfriend keeping an eye on you tonight or what?”

“Why would you ask that?”

“She’s over at the bar talking with Frank.”

He tried to catch a glimpse of Katie, but the bar was clear across the room, and a narrow wall decorated with sports memorabilia blocked his view of whoever was sitting on the barstools.

Katie’s words came back to him. I’ll just jump into the deep end and learn as I go.

All the other men at the table were craning their necks to try to get a look, too.

“Relax. I don’t think she’s trying to spy on you, boy,” Herb said. Only a guy in his eighties would call him a boy. “She can’t see you, neither.”

Carter started to rise, but Noah put a hand on his arm. “Listen. I’m no expert, but if you don’t give a woman a little space, they get pissed off. And you don’t want a pissed-off woman. That I am an expert on.”

His brother didn’t know what was on Katie’s mind. Carter had told her point-blank he wouldn’t help her. What had he expected her to do? Katie was stubborn. Of course, she’d go out on her own.

It bothered him that she’d lost her confidence. Why had he told her he wouldn’t help her? How often had she helped him in all the years they’d lived side by side? Shit, she’d helped him by being his date to dinner the other night.

He should go over there right now and tell her he’d changed his mind. She was helping him by pretending to be his girlfriend. He’d help her any way she needed.

But what if she didn’t want his help now? Maybe she was holding her own. Of course she was holding her own. And if she didn’t want him barging in, he would have a pissed-off woman on his hands.

The guys were diving into the pizza, and if he didn’t get his slices onto his plate, there wouldn’t be any left. He grabbed one slice of each. He needed food to soak up the beer that must have been softening his brain. Because the thought of some guy at that bar across the room making Katie smile, making her horny, taking her home, well, that just made him crazy.

And he had no right to be crazy.

…

“Hey, I thought you and Carter were a thing,” Bud Krakowski told her from the business side of the bar. Bud’s Bar and Grill was a staple in Lakeside and had been for as long as Katie could remember.

“What? A woman can’t go out and have a drink on her own?” Once the words were out of her mouth, Katie realized she sounded a little defensive, but this was her time, and she didn’t need a man with her to have a drink. And why did everyone have to ask her about Carter? She was getting tired of it. What was wrong with stopping in the local hangout anyway? She’d been too restless to stay home and had needed a distraction.

He held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. Yeah, she’d probably snapped a little too loudly. “Course you can.” He studied her. “Did you two have a fight?”

This nosiness was exactly why she didn’t want to get involved with anyone. What made her think it was a good idea to come in here? She rolled her eyes and ordered a draft, then glanced sidelong down the length of bar on either side of her. Larry and Levon, a couple of guys around her mother’s age, sat shooting the shit down at one end of the bar. On the other side of her was a cozy couple who looked barely legal, hanging all over each other. Where were the people closer to her age?

“Hey, Katie.” A tall, broad guy she’d gone to school with sat down beside her. He had a rocks glass in his hand, so he must have been sitting at one of the pub tables behind her. “Are you alone tonight?”

“Hey, Frank.” She hadn’t expected him to come sit beside her. Her stomach swirled with dive-bombing butterflies. She seemed to remember the electrician and his wife, Lacey, had divorced recently. “How’s things?”

“No complaints.” He stared into his glass for a minute and then tossed back the rest of his drink. “If you’re waiting for Carter, I think you’re going to have a long wait.”

She tried not to let her confusion show on her face. If she and Carter were really dating, she’d have known what he was doing tonight. She knew he wasn’t home but had no idea where he was right now. “No. I’m not waiting for anyone.”

Bud placed her draft in front of her. “They had a fight.”

Thanks, Bud. “Hey, I thought bartenders were like doctors and priests.”

“I never took a vow of confidentiality,” Bud said with a laugh. “People come in here for the gossip as much as for the drinks.”

“Come on in to hear the latest from the greatest!” shouted Larry from the end of the bar. His faded red-gray hair hung to his shoulders. “That’s why I’m here.” He nudged Levon in the ribs. “Right?”

His friend, as dark as Larry was pale, as bald as Larry was not, nodded in agreement.

“Hey, Katie,” Levon called out. “I heard a rich guy bought the Parkhurst place.”

Larry’s huff turned into a guffaw. “He’d have to be rich to buy that property.”

Levon made a face. “That’s not my point. I heard Carter was handling the contract.” He looked over at Katie. “Is that true?”

“Well, you’d have to ask Carter about that, but I think lawyers are in the same category as doctors and priests.”

“Told you.” Larry drained his beer. “Let’s go. Ruby will have my hide if I’m late.”

“Just a minute.” Levon looked at Katie. “If Carter is only going for the big guns, he probably wouldn’t want to help me with a little thing like getting a business permit.”

“Of course he would. A business permit isn’t a little thing. Congrats. Why do you think Carter opened up his office here in Lakeside?” She went on when he shrugged. “So he can help the residents of Lakeside, of course. Call Carter’s office for an appointment. He’ll be happy to help you.”

Bud leaned across the bar. “What kind of business are you opening?”

“Believe me, when I’m ready to advertise, you’ll be the first to know.” He downed the rest of his drink. “I figure then everyone in Lakeside will know within twenty-four hours.” Levon laughed, and then he and Larry left the bar.

Katie glanced at Frank, who still sat beside her. Maybe she could practice a little harmless flirting. “Keeping busy?” She groaned inwardly. Small talk wasn’t flirting, but she couldn’t do any heavy-duty flirting as long as she was supposed to be dating Carter anyway. But now that she was here, sitting on a barstool beside a single guy, she didn’t feel sexy or confident. More like awkward and uneasy.

Frank leaned in and lowered his voice. “Business is good, but it’s mighty lonely at home.”

So that’s what flirting sounded like now? It didn’t do anything for her. “Oh, that’s too bad. I mean, about the lonely, not the business.”

She shifted away from him. There was nothing appealing about his attention. She could always remind him of her fake boyfriend, Carter, if Frank made her too uncomfortable. “Bet you’re lonely, too, with Sean off to college. I always liked you, Katie, and you’re looking real pretty tonight.”

He’d always liked her? She didn’t remember them even speaking more than a “hello” in all the years she’d known him. “Um. Thank you, Frank.”

“Would you like to come home with me and we could be lonely together?” His face turned bright red as soon as he realized what he said.

“Oh, Frank.” Katie tried to stop the laughter, but it burst out of her, and then he joined in good-naturedly.

“Man, I used to be smoother at this, but that was a long time ago.” Frank held out his glass for a refill, and Bud poured him another bourbon.

“I know what you mean.”

“And shit, I was way out of line. You’re with Carter. I know one argument doesn’t mean anything. You didn’t say you’d broken up, did you?”

“Nope.” This time, the lie didn’t bother her at all.

“Didn’t think so. Sorry I propositioned you, Katie. Can I buy you a drink to make it up to you?”

“You don’t have to make anything up to me, but sure, I could use another draft.” Now that the awkwardness had evaporated, she and Frank chatted amiably, catching up on each other’s lives. She understood loneliness. Too bad she didn’t feel even the smallest spark from Frank. When his eyes suddenly widened, she looked over her shoulder to see Carter stalking toward her, a glass of beer in his hand.

“Well, it was nice talking with you.” Frank hopped off his stool. “Hey, Carter.”

“Frank.” Carter barely spared him a glance as he walked by. He climbed up on the stool that Frank had vacated. “Hey.”

She used to be able to read him, but right now she couldn’t figure out his mood. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” he grumbled.

Her hand tightened on her glass, the condensation making her hand slippery. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“I’m in here all the time.”

She lifted her chin. “Well, so am I.”

Carter narrowed his eyes. “Not talking with other guys.”

He had no right to be going there. “Oh, but it’s okay for you to talk to other women?”

“We’re having Noah’s bachelor party in the back. No women allowed.”

“I’m not talking about tonight, and you know it. And you don’t have any business coming over and questioning me like this.” She would have said more, but Bud was hovering, and she didn’t need to let that cat out of the bag.

Carter sighed. “Sorry. You’re right. Of course you can talk to anyone you want to.” His eyes darkened as he looked her over, and her body shivered in a good way, nothing like the way she felt when Frank did it. Carter looked as if he was going to say something else, but then he shook his head.

“It was just Frank. I think he’s getting back out in the dating pool. I was so surprised when he and Lacey got divorced. They’d been together since high school.”

Carter grimaced. “Seems like it happens more often than not anymore.”

“Or maybe you just see it more in your law office?”

“Maybe.” He leaned in until their shoulders touched. “So what did Frank have to say?”

She lowered her voice. “He flirted with me.”

He avoided looking at her. “That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She cleared her throat and pulled out her wallet. “I don’t want to keep you from the party.”

Carter put his hand over hers to stop her from pulling out her money. The tingles ran all the way up her arm. “Stay. It’s breaking up anyway.”

Bud stopped in front of them. “Glad to see you two made up.”

Carter caught her eye.

“I had to admit we’d had an argument. They wanted to know why we weren’t together tonight.”

“You could have told them I was at the bachelor party.”

Katie raised her brows. “I could have if I’d known about it.”

“Right. Sorry. Don’t worry about us, Bud. We can’t stay mad at each other for long.”

“Glad to hear it.” Bud headed down to the end of the bar by the young lovebirds.

Carter’s hand was still on hers. “I’ll help you,” he murmured. “Whatever you need. If you’re going to carry on with your plan, I don’t want you to go it on your own.”

“Really? Thanks.” She leaned over to whisper, and her lips accidentally brushed his ear. “Frank asked me to go home with him.”

“What?” Carter whirled around to glare at Frank, but he’d left. “Didn’t he know we’re dating?”

That flew out of his mouth like it was the truth. “I could use some of those tips you talked about.” Katie kept her voice low. “But you can’t keep freaking out, Carter. I’ve been clear to you from the start what I’m looking for.”

It wasn’t Frank.

And it wasn’t Carter, either.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat. “And I don’t want you freaking out, but I will remind you that my family believes the gossip. Next weekend is Labor Day and the annual Colburn picnic. You usually come anyway, but Mom has invited you specifically and is so excited that you’re officially my girlfriend.”

“Okay. I’m officially freaking out.”