Chapter Eleven

The sun had gone down, and Katie sat cross-legged on her sofa, a glass of wine on the coffee table and a soft pop station playing from her phone. On her lap was a photograph album she’d pulled out of the hope chest in the dining room. After finally talking to Sean, she’d been hit with a wave of nostalgia so strong she could barely catch her breath. She hoped flipping through the baby pics would help her get over it. Or at least give her a reason to get all teary-eyed besides wishing she could keep her son with her forever.

Even though she knew it wouldn’t be good for him. And she really didn’t want him with her forever anyway, but right now thinking about the items on her list didn’t make her feel any better.

She didn’t want to dwell on the roller-coaster ride of maternal emotions. Sometimes they had nothing to do with logic. Katie opened the album cover to reveal the first page. She sucked in a quick gasp at a picture of her and Tim on their first date.

Look at those kids.

It had been years since she’d looked at these old pictures. They’d been at the top of the Ferris wheel at the county fair. It was before selfies, of course, but she’d perfected the technique, knowing exactly the right angle to use when she turned her camera around to face them. She’d loved capturing special moments with her camera since she’d been old enough to hold one. She’d had a feeling at the time that that date could be the start of something big.

There they were. Sixteen. Grinning like fools. Her hair pulled back in a long ponytail. Tim’s arm around her shoulders. A couple of kids with their whole lives ahead of them. They couldn’t know that in only a few years, Marv Ellis would be running late for second shift at the machine shop, blow through a stop sign, and T-bone Tim on his way to pick up Sean from day care.

Tim had never been thrilled when Katie booked occasional photo shoots, even before the baby was born. He’d grown up in a very traditional household and thought she should stay home and take care of the apartment and his every need. And once Sean was born, Tim had been even more insistent. He worked for his dad at his service station, and they lived in an apartment in a house his parents owned. His parents sold everything and moved away after the accident. Their infrequent visits and phone calls to Sean had become even rarer as he got older. Another reason she’d been so grateful for the Colburns.

Tim had made enough to take care of his family. He hated the idea of Katie working, but she hadn’t been able to resist that day. And because she’d been at a friend’s house taking photos of her brand-new baby girl, Tim drove into that intersection and lost his life.

Katie had stopped blaming herself for the accident a long time ago, but on nights like this, she couldn’t help but wonder if she would have ever taken her photography any further than birthday parties and baby pictures if Tim had lived. He’d told her often enough that she was being selfish and her family had to come first. After living with a mother who’d always put her wants ahead of her daughter’s, Katie’d been afraid he was right. She made a promise to herself to always put her son’s needs ahead of her own. That must have been why she’d put off all those things she’d wanted to do.

Except photography, but that became a business out of necessity.

She brushed her finger over a picture she’d taken of Tim standing beside the old Chevy he’d bought after saving up for months. Seventeen, a year younger than Sean was now. Tim’s thick brown hair had always flopped over his forehead. She’d loved to use the excuse to touch him when she pushed it back. Sean’s eyes stared back at her from the photo, so like his father’s. Their smiles were similar, too, and that long-limbed, gangly body. Sean was much more laid back than Tim had been, but there were days when she’d catch a quick glimpse of her son and she’d swear for a second that it was her young husband.

Carter had surprised her when he said he thought she was still pining for Tim. She’d loved him like mad, of course. He was her first love, but he’d also expected her to spend all her time taking care of him and Sean. No wonder her me time was so precious now.

She flipped through the rest of the album. There were a few photographs of Tim and Carter together. And Sean as a baby, tucked in the laundry basket she used to carry him around in until he outgrew it. There were a couple of photos of Tim playing around on the floor with Sean. But soon the pictures were of Sean alone. Or with Carter. As she flipped through the rest of the album, she was surprised how many pictures included Carter. She shouldn’t have been. He’d always been there for Sean.

As her business grew, Katie had taken less family pictures at home. The next album contained the milestones, Sean’s birthdays and holidays, but not so many silly or sweet pictures. And as things had shifted to digital, she’d seldom printed out the pictures she did take. But there on the last page was a full page photograph of Sean in his cap and gown she’d taken only a couple of months ago.

“You’d be so proud of our boy, Tim,” she whispered.

Katie couldn’t help but worry about Sean now. He told her everything was fine, but she didn’t know if she could trust his words. Something about the tone of his voice. Was it mother’s intuition, or was she looking for problems where there were none?

Her phone rang, and Katie glanced at the screen before she answered. “Hi, Mom.”

“Married, Katherine? You’re finally getting married again! Why couldn’t you call and let me know? I shouldn’t have to find out online.”

She rubbed the headache that was forming between her brows. “Who told you I was getting married? Because I’m not.”

Her mother huffed. “But the post on the village page said so, right by that picture of you and Carter.”

Katie barked out a small laugh. “You know what a rumor mill Lakeside is. You can’t believe everything you read on the internet.”

“You’re not getting married to Carter Colburn?”

Didn’t her mother hear her the first time? “No.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t want a man in your life.”

Katie was exhausted. Tired after the roller coaster of emotions she’d been on that day. Tired of having the same conversation with her mother every time they spoke. “I know. You’ve never understood me. I’ve never understood you. I guess that’s just the way it’s going to be.”

“Well, that sounds sad. It’s not that I don’t love you, dear.”

“I know. I love you, too.”

“While I have you on the phone, then, tell Sean we need his help taking in all the patio furniture. Lawrence is getting too old to handle it all by himself.”

“Mom, Sean is in Ohio. He’s in college now, remember?”

“Already? All right, Lawrence will have to ask his grandson then. I can’t believe Sean is so far away. He’ll make a life in Ohio and we’ll never see him again.”

Not that her mother wanted to see him all that much unless he could help them around the house. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“You wait and see. What makes you think you understand him any more than I understand you?”

Her mother was right. She had no idea what Sean was thinking. Katie said goodbye to her mom and looked again at the picture of Sean in his cap and gown. What was going on in that boy’s mind?

Before she thought twice, she dashed out her back door and knocked on Carter’s. She pounded on it a couple of more times before he yanked open the door. His jeans were unbuttoned, and his chest and feet were bare. Her mouth went dry. Her mind went right back to how quickly things had gotten hot and heavy earlier. If Sean’s phone call hadn’t interrupted them, she knew they would have had sex right there in her kitchen. Up against the door. She would have had her hands and her mouth on that bare chest. It was a good thing they’d been interrupted. There were too many emotions involved in having sex with Carter.

He took her shoulders. “What’s the matter, Kat? Are you okay?”

His hands were warm on her skin. She realized she was in a skimpy tank and loose shorts. It wasn’t that late, was it? She swallowed and nodded. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“Fell asleep in the chair, watching TV.” He let go of her and backed up. “Come on in. What’s wrong?”

She stepped into his kitchen. The layout was identical to hers, but his had unique touches like the salvaged metal light fixture over the table and the polished wood island that had started its life in some old factory. Carter gestured to the reclaimed stools that were tucked under one end of the island, but she couldn’t sit right now.

“Did you talk to Sean?”

“Yeah, we had a nice talk.”

Nice? “What did he tell you? Is he having problems? Should I be worried?”

“Whoa. Take it easy. I can tell you’re already worried.” Carter frowned. “Didn’t he tell you he’s okay?”

“Yeah, but there was something in his voice.” She’d heard it before, when Sean had been avoiding a subject he didn’t want to talk about. “I think there might be something wrong, but he doesn’t want me to know.”

“Mother’s intuition?”

“Something like that. Did he say anything to you?”

Carter crossed his arms over that incredible chest. “If Sean had told me he was having a problem, I would have let you know.”

“Even if he made you promise not to tell me?”

“I would never agree to keep something like that from you. You know that. You’re his mother.” He sounded hurt, and Katie couldn’t blame him. Carter had been great with Sean. He was the one who’d taught him how to ride a bicycle, decipher algebraic equations, and handle a stick shift.

“Oh. Okay. I mean, I know you wouldn’t. I’m sorry.” What was wrong with her? “I didn’t realize how hard it would be to let go.” Sean had been her whole life for so many years.

Carter guided her over to the stools at the end of the island, and they sat next to each other at the counter. “When I was about Sean’s age, I told Pop he could stop worrying about me. He told me that he and Mom would worry about me until the day they died and they would never apologize for it. That’s what parents do, he said.”

Katie doubted that her mother had ever worried about her unless it was when she’d get another husband. “Yeah, Pop is a smart man. But I wished I knew if I was worrying about him for nothing.”

“All you can do is hope that you’ve raised Sean well enough that he’ll make the right decisions.”

She rested her head in her hands. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“You’ve been a great mom, and you have raised him right. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong, but if there was, Sean would want to try to handle it on his own.” He tipped her chin with one finger and turned her head. His dark eyes locked on her gaze. “But I know he trusts you enough that he’ll come to you if he needs your help.”

“He trusts you, too.” There wasn’t anyone else Katie trusted more.

“I hope so.”

Katie placed her hand on his. She was getting teary-eyed again and feeling a little gushy. Having a glass of wine while she looked at old photos hadn’t been the best of ideas. “I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for Sean over the years. I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I appreciate it.”

“I don’t need any thanks. Sean’s a great kid.”

“Yeah, thanks to you.”

“Thanks to both of us then.”

Somehow they’d leaned closer to each other, close enough to kiss if either one leaned in a fraction of an inch. Carter murmured her name and cupped her jaw.

She jerked away before she could give into temptation. They had to stay friends, nothing more. “I can’t.” She scrambled off the stool and stumbled back. “I just can’t. Good night, Carter.”

He nodded and turned away. Katie hurried home and dumped the rest of the glass of wine down the sink. She needed a clear head. It would have been so easy to give in and take comfort and pleasure from Carter. But she couldn’t allow her life to get tangled up with his any more than it already was. God, he was even talking about a family. Children. She couldn’t even think about it.

Katie pulled out her notebook. Going through the pages of the things she’d always wanted to do reminded her why this was her time. She wasn’t going to put them off any longer. She glanced at the tattoo on her arm. Another reminder. My Time.

She opened up to the first item on the first page of her notebook. Read Pride and Prejudice. She’d never had time during all those treadmill years to read more than a magazine article all the way through. She got up and grabbed the yellowed paperback of the Jane Austen classic from the small bookcase in the corner. She’d bought the book shortly after Sean was born, but she was never able to get into it because she had to keep putting it down. She’d started keeping track of items in the notebook around that time so she wouldn’t forget all the things, big and small, that she’d wanted to do…sometime. To remember to pick Pride and Prejudice back up when she had the time.

She stretched out on the sofa and opened the book. She nodded off before she hit page three.

…

Damn nails.

Carter’s hands had been wrapped around the stupid crowbar for what felt like hours, and the damn wood still wouldn’t let go. The gorgeous moldings around the doorways in the old library must have been nailed down a gazillion times, to use Katie’s terminology. It was a sign of the quality of the workmanship that went into these old buildings.

Broken moldings wouldn’t be worth anything, so he tried to keep a grasp on his patience. Noah could take all the time in the world to coax a salvage piece from its original home. Beckett lost patience almost immediately, so he was usually put on the hammers and saws. Carter’s patience level was somewhere in the middle, but at the moment, it was slipping dangerously toward Beck’s.

Carter eased the crowbar a little farther down the beaded wood, and he felt it finally loosen. With a sigh of relief, he continued to work the nail out of the plaster and lath wall. Once the first one released its hold, the rest of it came out quickly. One down, twenty more to go.

They often salvaged the vintage fixtures in the bathrooms in old buildings, but those had been all updated at some point, so they weren’t going to bother unless they had time and space in the trucks. It didn’t look like there would be time. Or space.

Jake and Phil were working on removing the leaded glass windows this morning. Mike and Todd were taking down the brass light fixtures. This afternoon would be the mantels and tiles around the fireplaces in each room. Tomorrow they’d be working on taking out the cherry bookshelves in the reading room in the oldest section of the library, at least as many as they could salvage before they headed home. Demolition on the building itself started next week.

“It’s a shame they’re tearing this place down.”

Carter looked up when Mike came into the room. The brawny man with salt-and-pepper hair had worked for Colburn and Sons longer than Carter had. He stood up to stretch. The groan escaped before he could stifle it. “My body complains a lot more than it used to.”

Mike chuckled. “Tell me about it.” He looked over his shoulder where Todd strode up with three bottles of water. “We’re done with the wall fixtures and started on the ceiling fixtures.”

“Going smoothly so far?” Carter accepted a cold water from Todd, their newest crew member. He’d love to get the kid working on the moldings, because he had younger knees. But when he discussed it with his brothers, they decided to wait a little longer to make sure they could trust him to take it easy on the crowbar. They’d have to test his patience level first.

“Smooth as glass, boss,” Todd replied. “Hey, I heard you’re going out with Katie Dixon. She’s pretty hot for her age.”

“For her age?” Mike frowned. “You never say that to a woman.”

“Damn right,” Carter said. “Age has nothing to do with it.”

“How’s Sean doing?” Mike asked. Sean had worked part-time for Colburn and Sons for the past couple of summers.

“Good, I guess. Off at college. Katie misses him.” Carter took a deep drink of water. “To be honest, I miss him, too.”

“Of course you do. I miss my kids, and I’m only going to be away for a couple of days.”

Sometimes Carter almost forgot Sean wasn’t his son. He had so much history with the kid, so many memories of watching him grow up, hugs they’d shared, outings they took together. Carter didn’t think he could miss Sean any less than Mike or any other dad would. Except Carter wasn’t Sean’s dad. Still missed him like hell.

Mike pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. “Miss my wife, too. Don’t tell me you don’t miss seeing Katie.”

“Sure I do.” There were few days when he and Katie didn’t exchange at least a few words or a smile. “Miss talking to her, too.”

“Hell, that’s what phones are for.”

Yeah, phones were for communicating. For catching up and touching base. But Katie hadn’t even answered his Hey there text from last night. “This is a crazy week for her.” It was a good week for him to be away, except that they hadn’t settled things between them. He felt anything but settled. “She’ll be too busy to answer.”

“So leave her a voice message telling her you miss her,” Mike suggested. “Then she’ll know you’re thinking about her.”

“A hot text would be even better,” Todd chimed in. “Send her a sexy one. Chicks like sexting.”

Mike turned on him. “Katie Dixon is not a chick. You show some respect.”

Todd looked at Mike as if he were crazy. “Hey, nothing disrespectful about chick.”

“Nothing respectful about it, either. Grab your lunch now and then we’ll get the rest of the lights down.” Mike took his phone and stepped into the other room. Carter heard him talking softly to Maria, his wife.

“See you in a few, boss.” Todd grabbed a sandwich out of the cooler. “Text her,” he called over his shoulder and then strolled outside.

But before he could send Katie another text, Lucy phoned him. “Malcolm Worthington wants you to call him back ASAP.”

Carter winced. “Was his one of the appointments you had to reschedule?”

“Yes. And he’s not very happy about it.”

“I’ll call him right now.” With a couple of pushes of buttons, Carter had Worthington on the line. “Malcolm, this is Carter Colburn returning your call.”

“My time is valuable, and I don’t like having to rearrange my schedule to accommodate a change in yours.”

Deep breath. “As I’m sure Lucy explained to you, I had to go out of town for a few days unexpectedly with the family business.”

“I explained in our first conversation that I expect commitment in my attorney.”

One more deep breath. “I understand that, but I also was clear with you up front that I have responsibilities to my family’s business. There was a sudden change in plans, and my family needed me. Surely you can appreciate the loyalty I have to my family. I trusted that all my clients would understand.”

Then he stopped talking and waited for Worthington to say whatever he’d say. Carter understood how his client felt. He wasn’t exactly happy that he couldn’t dedicate more time as an attorney, either. But this was his life, and this was his family. If Worthington couldn’t understand, then he’d have to take his business elsewhere. Carter’s gut clenched at the thought, but that was the way it had to be.

Worthington cleared his throat. “Yes, of course. I apologize. I blame my impatience on my eagerness to discuss with you a new business opportunity I’m considering.”

Carter held back the sigh of relief. “I see. Are the circumstances urgent then? Will you lose the opportunity if I won’t be available until next week?”

“No.”

Worthington’s wife had called Carter privately to share her fears that her husband had begun jumping impulsively into new business ventures as a way to avoid the realities of growing older. While Carter couldn’t blame the man if he had the time, money, and energy, he understood Evelyn’s concerns. “Good. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you to use this time to go over the pros and cons of this new opportunity, and then we can discuss it as soon as I get back to town. Did you reschedule with my office?”

Worthington cleared his throat again. “No. I’ll call your secretary right now and do that. I’m sorry to have ranted to you. My wife is after me to slow down, but I’m not ready to do that yet.”

“I understand.”

“By the way, Evelyn would also like us to dine with you and Katie again. Perhaps after you return from this family emergency.”

“Of course. We’d love to.” At least, he hoped Katie would still love to. The way they left things the other night still bothered him. After disconnecting with Worthington, Carter stared at his phone, at the last unanswered text he’d sent to Katie. It wouldn’t hurt to send another.

Thinking about you.

Carter paused before he sent it. Would she want to hear that he missed her like hell and wanted to hear her voice? If they hadn’t had sex, would he be sending her these texts? It bugged him that he would even think twice. He never used to second-guess what he said to Katie. He didn’t want to start now.

He hit send.