Chapter Twelve
After she got home, Katie popped a hazelnut pod in the coffeemaker as she read Carter’s text. Yeah, she’d been thinking about him all day, too. And yesterday and last night. He’d sent her another text the previous evening, but how was she supposed to respond to Hey there? There wasn’t anything she wanted to talk to him about that should be said with a text.
She’d come home from another crazy day at the studio. Senior photo week should have tired her out, but the kids were such fun to work with. They had so much energy that somehow she was able to absorb some, and she found herself bouncing on her heels. She wished Carter were here. They’d talk and laugh, and she’d tell him about the wild kids and he’d tell her about his day, too.
They hadn’t talked at all yesterday. He’d been on the road with the crew going to Albany, and she’d met Ginny at Bud’s for dinner. The Hey there text came when she was already in bed, so she’d ignored it, but then she had a dream about him.
He’d been sitting on his sofa with his feet up on the coffee table, yelling at her to fix him a sandwich and couldn’t she get that baby to stop his crying. Her stomach twisted into a knot, and she couldn’t do a thing because she was running on a treadmill and there was no stop button on the dashboard.
Katie had shot up in bed, her heart pounding as if she were still running. The room was dark; not even a sliver of a moon shone through the window. She’d been awake enough to recognize what that dream was about. It had begun with a memory of her life with Tim, and she’d projected Carter into the picture. Then it devolved into the out-of-control feelings she’d lived with for years.
She finally had control of her life. No more treadmills.
My time.
The coffee had finished brewing. Katie grabbed the cup and sat at the table. The kitchen looked empty, felt empty, without Carter sitting across from her. Funny how she never resented the time she spent with him every afternoon. She picked up the phone and texted him.
The phone rang almost immediately. Katie found herself grinning when she answered. “Hey.”
“How was your day?” His smooth voice washed over her, quenching her thirst more than the coffee in her mug.
“Crazy but fun. How about you?”
“Good. Filled up one whole truck and there’s plenty to load in the other tomorrow.”
“Good.”
Then there was silence. Carter cleared his throat. She did, too. What did they find to talk about every afternoon?
“Um, how’s the weather over there?”
Carter chuckled softly, almost sadly. They’d been reduced to talking about the weather. “They’re calling for rain, but we should get out of here in time.”
“Oh. Good.” Katie couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t be something like I’ve missed the sound of your voice and the scent of your skin and the taste of your lips. Or I want your hands on me and your body pushing me into the mattress. Or I miss you. She reached for the candy dish and found it empty. “Damn.”
“What’s the matter?”
“Candy’s gone.”
“Your sweet tooth been working overtime?”
“Something like that.”
She heard a knock on the door on Carter’s end. He must have opened the door, because she could hear male voices in the background. “The guys are here. We’re going to go grab dinner.”
“Good. Have a good evening.”
“You, too.”
He hung up before she could say goodbye. It was just as well. She’d reached the limit on the use of the word “good” in one stilted conversation.
But now that her call with Carter was finished, she still felt as up in the air as she had before she talked with him. Maybe even more so. She paced the kitchen. Tossed out the coffee because she really didn’t need any more caffeine.
It was as if she was waiting for her life to start, and that didn’t make any sense. Carter wasn’t going to be in it, at least not except on the sidelines. They were friends and always would be. But if she was going to move ahead with the rest of her life, she had to do it herself. This was her time. The only one holding her back was herself.
She dashed up the stairs and tore through her closet, searching for something to wear. It was time to put her plan into action. Real action, not wimping out by going to the neighborhood bar where everyone knew her. On the other side of the lake where no one knew she was in a fake relationship.
The Bullfrog was supposed to be the best place to meet up with other singles looking to meet up. Hook up. Whatever it was being called nowadays. Hopefully the guys there wouldn’t all be in their twenties. The last thing she wanted to be accused of was being a cougar. The term always sounded desperate to her. Be a desperate cougar had never been on her list.
It took less than half an hour to drive to the bar. Before Katie knew it, she’d pulled into the crowded parking lot at one side of the long green building. A gigantic frog with his long tongue sticking out decorated the sign on the roof. A man and woman walked out the front door, their arms around each other’s waists. It wasn’t even dark yet, but by the way they were holding each other up, it appeared they’d been drinking for a while. She hoped they weren’t heading to a car, but as she watched, they stumbled around the back of the building. She heard the woman giggling.
Katie’s stomach twisted. She supposed it was normal to be nervous. This would be the first time she’d really be putting her sexual confidence to the test. No more practice. This was the real thing. A truck pulled into the spot next to her, and two guys, who were probably in their late twenties, hopped out and headed for the door. One of them must have noticed her sitting there and stopped.
“Are you okay?” he called out.
She nodded and held up her phone as if she were texting. He gave her a thumbs-up, and he and his buddy disappeared into the building.
She couldn’t stay in her car all night long. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life waiting for Carter. Holy cow, where had that thought come from? She wasn’t waiting around for anyone. She’d had her night with him, which was amazing and emotional and primed her for action. But she wasn’t looking for one certain man. Not looking for a relationship.
If she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life celibate, if she wanted to get out and live her life and check things off her list, she needed to get out of the damn car. No more hiding. No more putting things off.
Katie stuffed her phone back in her purse. She could do this. Nothing to it. She reminded herself that she could have gone home with Frank the other night if she’d wanted to. She could walk right into that bar and pick up a guy. She took a fortifying breath and stepped out of the car.
It was time to check another item off her list.
…
Carter’s phone rang as he got back to the motel room. He was relieved to see his brother’s name on the screen. The last phone call he had with Katie had been so awkward he didn’t want to have to deal with another one today. He kicked off his shoes and pushed away the fear that he might be losing his best friend.
“How did it go today?” Beckett asked.
“Great. The crew works well together. I gave Todd a turn at the crowbar with the last couple of lengths of molding, and he did well. I think we can trust him on some of the moldings and tiles in the future.”
“Good to know.” Beck cleared his throat. “Listen, Carrie and Mom brought Pop into the shop this morning.”
His brother’s tone was definitely not upbeat. Carter was almost afraid to ask. “How did it go?”
“Not well. I could tell he felt self-conscious sitting there in the showroom, and he wanted to leave after only fifteen minutes.”
“Didn’t any friends come in to talk to him?”
“No. We should have called a few to come in, but I don’t know if it would have made any difference. He didn’t want Mom sitting with him, and Ginny’s chatter annoyed him. Do you think Katie would come in for a while next time? She might make a difference.”
“I’m sure she would, but she’s busy with senior photos this week. She might be finished sometime tomorrow. Give her a call.”
Beck cleared his throat again. “I was hoping you would.”
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of Katie.”
“Of course not. I figured there’d be less chance that she’d say no to you.”
Don’t count on it. “I’ll give her a call. But I can’t imagine her saying no to anything concerning Pop.”
“Thanks. On the plus side, Carrie picked up the computer program right off. She’ll fit in real well if we can get Pop to hang around. He sat in the shop with Pete and Jimmy for a little while, but then he got depressed and demanded to go home.”
Carter sighed. “Well, we thought it might take a while.”
“Oh, and did you know big brother and his new wife should be back home tomorrow morning?”
“I thought they were going to be gone a whole week.”
“Me, too. Mom didn’t say anything more about it than that. I wouldn’t be surprised if Noah called her to check on the business while he was on his honeymoon.”
“And when Mom told him about Pop, he decided he was needed here.”
“Because that’s the kind of guy he is.”
“Why do you make that sound like it’s a bad thing?”
“No, not bad. He’s always been the perfect one and, you know, I’m the wild one.”
That about summed it up. “What am I?”
“Just the middle one. Sucks, doesn’t it?”
Sometimes, yeah, but Carter wasn’t going to say it out loud. Especially not to his baby wild-one brother. The guy who was doing a surprisingly great job being a single dad. “Hey, how’s Holly’s first week of middle school going?”
“She was nervous as hell to begin with, but it’s getting better as the week goes on.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“Hey, how about the Sean-man? How’s he doing?”
“Good. I think.” But now he wondered if he shouldn’t be taking Kat’s concerns more seriously. “Katie’s got the feeling something’s wrong, but I’m not getting that vibe when I talk to him.”
“She’s not usually one to panic, is she?”
“No.”
“Hmm.”
That didn’t sound good. “Think I should be worried?”
“Maybe?”
“Great. I’ll give him a call tonight.”
“It’s probably nothing, but it’s good to let him know he can talk to you.”
“He knows that.” Doesn’t he? “I’ll let you know what Katie says about Pop.”
“Thanks. Talk to you later.”
Carter called Katie, but she didn’t answer. Maybe she wasn’t interested in another awkward conversation, either. He left a message about Pop and then called Sean. He didn’t answer, either. After he left another message, Carter turned on the TV while he waited for someone to call him back.
…
The inside of the Bullfrog looked nothing like what Katie expected. From the green and froggy exterior, she thought it would look like a fishing camp-slash-sports bar, but instead, the shadowy interior had the sleek look of what she thought of as a singles bar. Not that she’d been in one before. But wasn’t that what she was going to be doing for the rest of her life? Trying new things? Scary things? Exciting? Uncomfortable?
The three sides of the gleaming bar wrapped around tall shelves of liquor bottles and three energetic, amiable bartenders dressed in black. The lights from the pendants hanging from the high ceiling reflected in the etched mirrors behind the colorful bottles. Intimate seating areas crowded the rest of the floor space. Cozy circles of four chairs. Tiny tables for two in shadowy alcoves.
There seemed to be people of all ages drinking, chatting, and laughing. The barstools were nearly full. Most of the people sitting there looked much younger than her. A group of four women probably in their forties laughed at whatever a couple of young guys said. A sense of anticipation laced the tone of the laughter and the cut of their skimpy clothes.
Or was it she who felt a little frantic, more than a little reckless? Katie thought she’d jump into this plan with a sense of eagerness. She was confident and strong, and she’d enjoy herself. Own it. Control it.
Instead, she glanced around with a sense of awkwardness. Did everyone look at her and know she had a one-night stand on her mind? Could they tell she’d put on new underwear beneath the bright-purple dress she hadn’t worn since her mother’s fourth wedding?
Had she made a big mistake?
Katie nearly turned around and left, but then she made her feet take her across the floor. She wove around those tiny tables where the couples’ knees touched as they leaned in close enough to hear each other speak, then took an empty stool at the bar.
A good-looking bartender with a crooked smile and a dimple in his chin nodded to let her know he’d seen her and then finished shaking some kind of fancy cocktail. He took her wine order next, and when he brought it to her, she thanked him and said, “Looks like you’re keeping busy tonight.”
He chuckled. He had a nice laugh but not as nice as Carter’s. He probably wasn’t much younger than her, but he had a ring on his left hand. “Tonight? This is light. Friday and Saturday, it’ll be three deep at the bar.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” She took a sip of the crisp Pinot Grigio. “Nice. Thanks.” The bartender smiled and left her alone to wonder what her next step should be. She’d made lame small talk with the bartender but hadn’t embarrassed herself, so that was a plus. Now what did she do?
How could she glance around at the other people sitting at the bar without appearing to be checking them out? Or was she supposed to be obvious about it? Otherwise, how did she meet a man she’d want to fling with?
“Hello there.”
Katie froze with the glass at her lips. She took a long drink before turning to get a look at the man who’d come up next to her. His hair was a shiny silver, and his blue eyes were piercing. He was probably a few years older than her, and he would have been good looking except for his smile. It was like he was trying too hard. Maybe her smile looked just as fake.
“Hello.” Her mind suddenly went blank, and she took another sip of wine.
“I’m Steve. Come here often?”
Katie almost groaned. Somehow, she thought she might hear some new pickup lines tonight. “No.”
“I didn’t think so. A woman as gorgeous as you, I’d remember if I’d seen you here before.”
That’s because she’d never been here before. And the gorgeous line felt like overkill. “I’ve never seen you anywhere. I’ve always thought it’s strange that I’ve lived in this area my whole life and I don’t recognize three-quarters of the people I see when I’m out.”
He squinted his eyes when he frowned. “I’m from Cleveland. I’m just here for a few weeks for work.”
“Well, no wonder you’ve never seen me here before.”
If Steve was here on business, he’d be the perfect one-night stand, wouldn’t he? He’d be gone soon, and she’d never run into him on the street or in the grocery store. But there was something about him she didn’t like. Maybe the lack of imagination when it came to the pickup line. Probably the smile that smacked of desperation.
He sidled closer and placed his hand on her back. “I’ll buy you a drink.” He waved the bartender over.
Katie shifted away. If there’d been any spark to begin with, she’d probably appreciate him moving in, but she felt nothing but the unwelcome weight of his arm. She certainly didn’t want his hands on her, so she leaned forward. “No. No, thank you. I’m leaving soon, and I don’t want another drink.”
He leaned in over her shoulder. She could smell the gin on his breath. “What’s your hurry? Let’s get to know each other a little better before you take off.”
She swiveled on her stool, nudging him away with her foot as she came around to face him. “I’m doing you a favor, Steve. Go spend your money on someone who might actually go home with you tonight. Because it isn’t going to be me.”
He grumbled, but he turned and walked away. She felt pretty proud of herself for speaking her mind, but if all the encounters were going to be like this one, she might as well go home now. She didn’t want to give up yet, though. It had to get better, right?
Katie didn’t care anymore if she looked obvious as she glanced around. It was true. She didn’t know anyone here. There were one or two faces that looked a little familiar, as if she’d seen them in a coffee shop or had taken their senior picture five or ten years ago. Probably if she met someone here she wanted to have a fling with, she wouldn’t have to worry about seeing them again.
How did someone look interested without appearing needy?
The bartender came up to her with another glass of wine. “I didn’t order that.”
“The guy on the corner in the tie-dyed shirt would like to buy you a drink.”
Katie followed the bartender’s nod. The guy looked like an old hippy. Faded-blond hair hung to his shoulders, and the shirt looked like it had been in his dresser drawer since the sixties. She tried to picture Carter with hair like that, and the image made her want to laugh. Old Hippie might be a very nice man, but she felt no attraction. And not the slightest desire for him to come over so she could get to know him better.
She’d never been sent a drink before. Surely there would be some kind of obligation if she accepted. “Can I refuse it?”
“Of course. Happens all the time.”
‘Yeah, I’m not interested.” She was striking out so far, but she wasn’t going to latch onto the first guy she saw. Or the second.
A burst of laughter rose above the din of conversations going on around her. She turned to see the four fortysomething women still flirting with the twentysomething men. There were a lot of empty glasses littering the low table in the center.
They were having a good time. They were all certainly old enough to know what they were doing. Katie wondered if she wasn’t being too uptight about the whole thing. Was she being too picky? What had she expected to do with that confidence she wanted to find?
It was obvious. Instead of waiting for men to approach her, she should be going after the ones who seemed promising herself. Sure, she’d have to risk rejection, but she could choose her type of man. No used car–salesman smiles. No wrinkled T-shirts. She glanced around, trying to find a guy who was not too young, who had broad shoulders and warm brown eyes.
The phone in the purse on her lap vibrated, interrupting her perusal. She was just about to pull it out to see who was trying to contact her when she heard a deep, smooth voice.
“Hey.”
Katie whirled around to see the guy from the parking lot taking the barstool next to hers. He was cute and smelled really good. His smile appeared genuine, and he was wearing a pressed button-down shirt. His shoulders were broad, and his eyes were chocolate brown. But he was definitely too young. Then she thought of the women across the room. Maybe he wasn’t too young after all. “Hi there.”
“I’m glad to see you made it inside,” he told her. “Important phone call?”
“Very.” Of course she wasn’t going to tell him she wasn’t on the phone when he saw her in the parking lot. She’d never admit to anyone that she was trying to talk herself into getting out of the car.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
She almost laughed. “Did you know you’re the third guy to offer to buy me a drink tonight?”
“I’m not surprised.” Amusement shown in his deep-brown eyes. “Did you accept any of them?”
“Not yet.”
He had a nice smile, but it wasn’t as nice as Carter’s. She mentally rolled her eyes at herself. Would she compare every man she met to Carter? Apparently, she was in the wrong frame of mind for picking up a guy tonight. There was a distinct possibility she’d never be in that frame of mind.
“I think you should accept one from me.”
His hopeful, eager expression made her want to smile. “One drink is my limit when I’m driving.”
“I could drive you home.”
Sure he could. “How much have you had to drink tonight?”
“I’m the designated driver tonight. Soft drinks only.”
“Really?”
“I’m supposed to be my buddy’s wingman, but he already hooked up with an old girlfriend. I was on my way out when I saw you. Are you waiting for someone?”
She should have asked Ginny to be her wingman. Wingwoman. But Ginny still thought Katie and Carter were really dating, so that wouldn’t have worked. In the meantime, Parking Lot Guy still waited patiently for her to answer his question.
“No. I’m here alone.” But she wouldn’t mind spending some time with this pleasant, handsome young man. “I’m Katie, by the way.”
He smiled again. Nope, still not as great as Carter’s. “I’m Landon.”
“I’m curious about this place. It’s my first time here and not what I expected at all. Doesn’t look like it would be called the Bullfrog, does it?”
“I guess it used to be a bar for fishermen, but over the years, it was gradually taken over by a different crowd.” He settled on the stool, but he shifted back instead of invading her personal space. “You haven’t answered my first question, Katie.”
“Which was?”
“Will you let me buy you a drink?”
Why not? Her wineglass was almost empty. “A ginger ale, please.”
Landon smiled and gestured to the bartender. “Two ginger ales.”