––––––––
She was leaving.
Mind made up, Ava flew through her bedroom like a whirlwind, collecting anything she could fold up and carry on her person. There was no possible way of taking everything she’d been given, but she managed to create a makeshift sack from the bed sheet into which she stuffed a pair of shoes, two dresses, a hair comb, a tiny bottle of perfume one of the maids had given her, and a nightgown.
The clothes she’d been wearing when she came to 127 Dower Street she left in the corner. No amount of scrubbing had managed to remove the soot and stains from the cheap fabric and besides, she needed no reminders of the horrible night she was still struggling to forget.
Catching a glimpse of her reflection in a mirror hanging beside the bed Ava stopped short, eyes widening as she took in the woman who stared back at her.
With her cheeks flushed bright pink and her hair in tousled clumps and her dress hanging off one shoulder revealing the chemise beneath she looked half mad, but was it any wonder? The truth of it was she felt half mad, for which she placed the blame squarely on Heath’s shoulders.
The man made her feel things. Things she had no right to feel.
Happiness.
Hope.
Love.
Teeth clenching, she turned away from the mirror and went to the bed to tie off the sheet with two hard yanks. Happiness wouldn’t keep her safe at night when predators lurked in the shadows. Hope wouldn’t put coins in her pocket. And love... love wouldn’t fill her belly with food.
Those were the things she needed to be focusing on. Those were the things that would keep her alive.
Not Heath Mason.
He did rescue you, a tiny, very unwanted voice pointed out reasonably. And he’s fed you and clothed you, all at his own expense. He must care for you, even if it is a very little bit. You shouldn’t leave without a word. You shouldn’t—
“Oh, be quiet,” Ava muttered. She refused to feel guilty. It wasn’t as if she were robbing Heath blind, which was what she’d intended to do in the beginning. She was simply leaving a bit earlier than expected. And what was the harm in that? Heath didn’t own her. He wasn’t her keeper. There had been no promises made between them.
Which, she thought determinedly as she swung the heavy makeshift sack up and over her shoulder, is a good thing.
She had enough complications in her life without adding a man into the mix, no matter how handsome or desirable he was. Resolve strengthened, Ava tiptoed to the door... only to stop short when it swung outward without her hand touching the knob.
“Leaving?” Without waiting for an answer Heath stepped into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. The click of the latch falling into place sounded ominously loud in the sudden silence, and Ava’s grip on the sheet tightened.
“And what if I am?” she challenged, lifting her chin.
Moonlight fell across Heath’s face, turning his eyes to silver. “I would ask you not to,” he said softly.
Ava felt the tiny hairs on the back of her neck rise. She shifted her weight from side to side, struggling to support her satchel of belongings which had suddenly and inexplicably grown too heavy to carry. Stepping forward Heath gently covered her hands with his own, his skin warm where hers was cold.
“Let it go, Ava,” he coaxed, his voice a quiet rumble in her ear. “It is a burden you no longer have to carry. Not alone.”
But she clung stubbornly to the knot, for she intuitively sensed Heath was asking her to let go of more than the sheet. “I don’t want to.” The words sounded childish, even to her own ears. She tried to step back but he held firm and she expelled her breath in a hiss of annoyance. “What do ye want from me?” she demanded for the third time, twisting until they stood face to face, chest to chest, groin to groin. The white hot smoldering fire deep in that most secretive part of her that she’d thought had been extinguished ignited once again, the flames of desire burning to life even as she gritted her teeth and tried her best to ignore the lust pooling inside her belly. If she succumbed now.... If she succumbed now there would be no going back.
“I don’t want you to go.” A flicker of confusion passed over Heath’s countenance as though he were just as bewildered by his feelings as she was by her own. “I do not know what has been happening between us, or what will happen, but I do know that. Don’t go, Ava.” He drew a ragged breath. “Don’t leave me.”
How easy it would have been to drop the sheet and fold herself into his strong arms. But Ava was a woman who knew all too well the dangers of taking the easy road. “Ye want me now,” she managed to say in a voice that was surprisingly steady. “But ye won’t always.”
Heath growled low in his throat. Cupping her chin he tilted her head, forcing their gazes to meet, dark mossy green clashing against stormy gray. “You would be safe with me. I will protect you, Ava. I will keep you from harm. You never need worry about anything ever again. Not food. Not clothes. Not shelter.” His brows pulled together. “Nothing.”
Perhaps in that moment if Heath had spoken of love instead of basic necessities Ava’s waning resolve would have crumbled entirely. But he didn’t, and even though four days ago she would have given up anything to be handed the things he was now offering her freely, she now recognized they would never be enough. Yes, she needed food and clothes and shelter to survive, but to thrive... to thrive she needed so much more.
She could love Heath. She did love Heath. But to love and not be loved in return was a type of starvation that could be sated by only one thing, and that one thing was not something being offered.
Loosening her grip on the knot she let it slip through her fingers. The sack hit the floor with a dull thud and rolled on its side. Filled with a sense of inner-calm she’d never before experienced, Ava took a step forward and gently pressed the flat of her palms against Heath’s chest. He’d donned his shirt before coming upstairs but failed to button it and her fingertips began to explore the rigid planes of his flesh in ever widening circles. When she began a slow, steady descent towards his abdomen he sucked in a breath, every muscle going taut.
“Ava...”
“Shhh.” She pressed a finger to his lips. This time there would be no rushing. This time there would be no regrets. When she thought of Heath she wanted it to be with fondness. A memory she would want to remember. “Be with me,” she whispered.
Moonlight bathed both their bodies in a soft, silvery glow as they moved to the bed. This time there was no rush. This time there was no hurry. Heath lingered for what felt like a small eternity over her body, nuzzling every nook and crevice, wringing from her tiny gasps of ecstasy and dark growls of pleasure.
They moved as one, establishing a slow, sinuous rhythm that carried them steadily towards the elusive peak of mutual fulfillment. Ava arched her hips, nails racing down Heath’s back to cup his buttocks. He nipped her ear, then her neck, fingers tangling in her hair and pulling just enough to elicit a groan from deep within her throat. She reveled in the feel of him. The scent. The sound. And for the very first time understood why some called it ‘lovemaking’. For surely that’s what they were doing. Expressing with their bodies what they couldn’t say with their tongues.
When Heath’s breaths began to quicken Ava’s did as well. In tandem they hurtled towards sweet release, and when it came... when it came Ava closed her eyes from the sheer magnitude of it all, and wept Heath’s name.
“That,” Heath said gruffly as he tucked Ava into his side and skimmed a hand down her arm, “was how it should have been done from the beginning.”
He heard as much as felt her quiet rumble of laughter. “Ye didn’t like the floor?”
“Oh, I liked it,” he admitted. “But that is not how a lady should be treated.”
She went still beside him. “I’m no lady.”
“Perhaps not in title.” He kissed the nape of her neck, mouth lingering over the first tiny bump of her spine. “Actually,” he murmured against her creamy flesh, “you’re quite right. You are no lady.” Catching the sharp elbow she would have thrown into his stomach he pressed his lips against the point of it before wrapping his arm around her slender waist and holding her securely against him.
“Ladies, at least the sort I’ve encountered, are weak minded. You are the strongest woman I have ever met. They’re petty, cruel creatures without a thought for those beneath them. You treat everyone equally, no matter their title or lack thereof.”
“Most likely because I do not have a title,” Ava pointed out dryly. She tried to twist onto her back but he held firm, rather liking the feel of her naked body pressed flush against his. It felt... natural. But more than that, much more, it felt right. Mine, he thought once again, and for the first time the notion brought him peace instead of panic.
“Breeding doesn’t make a person who they are any more than money does. You are what you make of yourself.” Heath’s own words echoed inside of his head. He felt the weight of them, and the reason. There were some changes he needed to make, starting tomorrow when he went to meet with Lord Collinsworth.
Before Ava he’d had no reason to better himself. No reason to live by honest means. No reason to care for the people he was paid to hunt down. Now... now he had all the reasons in the world, beginning with the woman he held in his arms.
“If that is the case, why haven’t I made myself into London’s finest pickpocket?” Ava asked.
The room was too dark to see her face, but simply imagining her rolling her eyes had him biting back a foolish smile. “Because that life is not for you.”
“But it is the life I have.”
Not, Heath thought silently, for much longer. “You should rest. You’ve had a long day, and you are still recovering from your injury.”
Ava snorted. “I wasn’t recovering from my injury five minutes ago, now was I?”
Saucy wench. His arm tightened, eliciting a squeal of surprise before he burrowed his face in the crook of her shoulder and grazed his teeth along the curve of her collarbone. “No, you certainly were not.”
A long, lingering pause before she said, “Goodnight then.”
“Goodnight.”
Sleep came surprisingly quickly. His body sated, his mind at last content, Heath closed his eyes, drew a deep breath, and slipped into dream.
When he woke, Ava was gone.