I am moments away from submitting my manuscript and this is part of the whole shebang. It feels a monumental task to thank the many kind folks who helped me get here, so before I hit Send, let me just say, I could write a separate ebook filled with adulation and praise for the people who selflessly helped these words come. You are my people, my kin and company, my readers and friends. You helped birth this book, so I have you to blame . . . er, thank. Either way, we’re in this together.
To Josh, you’re the most faithful man I know. Thank you for the calluses on your hands and the ways you’ve labored in love for me all these years. You always let my cold feet find your warm ones under the covers. Thank you for circling the good garage sales, starting the wood fire for me when the sun hadn’t even made it up yet, and for always being home to me. I love you more than I even have words for and goodness knows, that’s a lot.
To my mom, thank you for your obedience to the absurd and foolish things in this world. You taught me to believe the kingdom of God would be just so. Thanks for keeping me alive with kimchi fried rice, dahl and curry, and all manner of high-caloric foods and for feeding me books when all else failed. You make the world more beautiful with everything you plant. You’re my BFF and not just because you feed me and cut me flowers, although that helps.
To my dad, I wish you were here to embarrass me by telling every random stranger who crossed your path to buy your daughter’s fantastic book and that it will change their lives, whether it’s true or not. Because in your eyes, it would’ve been. I miss your stories but our day is coming. I’ll see you in the by and by. Save me a seat by the lake and order me some momos. I’ll bring James Taylor on vinyl.
To my children, Judah, Kaia, and Nehemiah. You are the joy in my world and I’ll never recover from the gift of being your mom. You’ve all taught me so much. Thank you for being quiet, bringing me endless coffee just the way I like it, and binge-watching shows with me when I couldn’t write another word. Thank Jesus you all turned out funny. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you were humor deficient because your laughter is so beautiful it makes my heart hurt. I love that laughter is what we’re good at.
To Jordan and Sarah Boston, for hooking me up with a hotel room to write all hours of the night, and for letting me sit and talk it all through in your living room for just as long. I already miss you being down the road and you haven’t even left yet.
To Kathi Denfeld, for staying with me during the literal hurricane and some figurative ones too and for being my first writing friend. I’ll get the good ice and meet you at Red Robin. Let’s wear hats.
To Crystal Clute, for being the best Ms. Frizzle a girl could have. Thank you for the endless ways you serve and love me. I’ll even turn the Go Away sign around for you.
To Laurie McAlpine and Kimberly McKaig, you helped me find the lifeline I needed when I was drowning and made sure I had the resources to grab on. You two are a gift.
To Deidra Riggs, you opened the door and said we rise together. I’ll always be grateful.
To Tanya Marlow, who gave me a space to tell my story when telling was the scariest thing of all. You helped me be brave.
To Al Hsu, for being a prophet with a spreadsheet. You helped remind me of my somebodies.
To my JumpingTandem road trip friends, Ashley Larkin, Lisha Epperson, Dana Butler, Kathi Denfeld, and Amber Cadenas. That trip began this work and I’d travel anywhere in a minivan with you. Thanks for your honest words and also for not letting me die next to the nacho machine.
To my agent, Don Jacobson, thanks for your gentle pastoral heart telling me to wait until I couldn’t not write the book. Those years of rest made all the difference. Your wisdom, expertise, and belief in not only this book but me as an author helped me trust this story is worth telling. I can’t imagine this book in the world without your fingerprint on it.
To the team at Baker Publishing who took a chance on this first-time author known primarily for writing her feelings on the internet, it’s too late to back out now, so here we go! To Patti Brinks, for creating my beautiful book cover and pouring so much care and attention into every detail, I could not love it more. You had me at gold foil. To my editor, Rebekah Guzman, thanks for seeing something in the very first iterations of this message and for pursuing it. You’ve been a wonderful advocate for this book and helped me believe it could have a place in this world. To Nicci Jordan Hubert, for answering all my newbie questions, of which there were many, and for helping me not get too carried away with similes. To Julie Davis and Gisele Mix, thanks for putting the commas, dashes, and semicolons where they’re supposed to go and for making me look smart.
To my writing sisters—specifically those in The Inkwells, The Chapter, (in)courage, The Mudroom, GraceTable, Redbud Writer’s Guild, Hopewriters ‘Let’s Talk Shop’, and SheLovesMagazine. You told me I could write, you helped me find my voice, and you championed my words like they were your own. I can’t imagine writing anywhere but in community with you.
To #teamAlia, who with the mastermind skills of Holly Stallcup, formed on my behalf these last days to champion me to the finish line when I was all out of breath. Thank you for the quotes, memes, GIFs, prayers, playlists, daily emails, gifts, flowers, cuss words, and cards. You were a gift I didn’t even know I needed. I will email this to my editor singing “All 4 You” while thinking of all of you.
To Voxer, you are so much better than a phone call or a text message and without you, I don’t know how I would’ve done this work. I’m sorry I ever doubted you. Don’t ever leave me.
To my Voxer friends who sustained me during long nights, early morning writing times, and everything in between. Ashley Hales, Cara Meredith, Annie Barnett, Kamille Sellick, Kris Camealy, Adriel Booker, and Shannan Martin, thanks for all the things. You walked with me at different points on this journey and, let’s all admit, sometimes dragged me behind you. I’m just glad we’re going the same direction. I love you as much as I love the 3X speed option on Voxer.
To Grace Cho, Tasha Burgoyne, and Kathy Khang—it sucks so much less with you. You know what you did. Keep it in the vault. #kimchisisterhoodforever
And lastly, to my faithful readers who’ve journeyed with me all these years. You met me in my inbox and in messages and comments and reminded me why any of this matters the nine bajillion times I was ready to call it good, buy a pretty journal, and go back to scribbling in it and tucking it under my mattress. You helped me release these words into the world hoping they do a little bit of good. We hold each other’s hands and speak this beautiful mysterious language of hope. You help me stay fluent. I couldn’t be more grateful.