Most nights I can’t get to sleep. Things keep going around and around in my head. I try waking up Bernard and asking him to go get us some pop or something but he don’t wake up for nothing. He sleeps real heavy. It don’t matter how loud you yell for a houseparent most of the time either. Even if all you want is some water. If Anthony’s working he’ll get me water and sometimes he brings food like once it was Ruffles potato chips with ridges. Beverly always gets me water ’cause she said she knows what it’s like to not go to sleep easy. Candy came a couple times but she said I was the boy crying wolf, and I don’t know who that even is. My dad says don’t bother any of them because he don’t want me to get in trouble. But sometimes they get mad and sometimes they don’t and I don’t know why. That’s how the turd plops around here.
Tonight I’m lying in bed like I do in the middle of the night and I hear somebody in the hall outside my room making noises like they using the wall phone they got out there. I say, “Hey, who’s that out there?” Then it gets real quiet, so I say it more softer. “Hey, who’s out there?” Next thing I see is Yessie sitting in the door of my room.
“That you, Yessie?”
“No, it’s the Queen of Sheba.” She’s whispering. “Will you shut up before you wake up everybody in the damn place?”
“C’mere.”
“If I come over there will you be quiet?”
“Yeah.”
So she rolls over to my bed and asks me what I’m doing awake, so I says, “Well, what’re you doing awake and who’re you calling?” She says it ain’t none of my business and I says, “Okay, but you wanna stay in here and talk to me awhile? Because I ain’t tired.” She says, “Okay, but we have to think up a good reason for me to be on the boys’ side in case we get caught.”
“Just say you heard me yelling and screaming, so you came in here to see was I okay ’cause none of them heard me. And how you was awake anyway ’cause you was going to the bathroom.”
“I will beat your ass if you tell them I was on that phone.”
“I ain’t gonna get you busted,” I says.
“I know,” Yessie says. “If you must know, I was calling up this dude I met on Facebook. He gots a fire-breathing-dragon tattoo on the back of his neck with the fire coming around a little itty bit to the front. So he said to call him. And can you believe who answered tattoo boy’s phone? His mama. And she did not sound happy, so I just hung up.”
Yessie looks at me. “This must be the first time I ever seen you not wearing one of your raggedy-ass suits. I’m glad you don’t wear ’em to bed too.”
“You’re not suppose to wear suits to bed.”
“Thanks for telling me. Hey, is it for real you’re getting your own apartment?”
“Yup. I go to Access Now to learn how to do stuff on my own. Joanne took me to get a lawyer and the lawyer’s real cool and she’s gonna get me set up. And it’ll have a elevator so people can come see me.”
“Is that Bernard? It’s a shame a child that age can snore that loud.”
“You want I should introduce you to my lawyer?”
“They won’t let me outta here till I’m eighteen years old and not no sooner than that. But I’m happy for you ’cause I didn’t like thinking about you in a nursing home for the rest of your life. You’re a badass but you ain’t no criminal.”
“Yeah, I’m a badass. I’m a badass.”
“Shhh! Never mind. I thought I heard something. You know who needs a lawyer? Cheri. They up and moved her to the nuthouse.”
“Pierre too,” I says.
“Pierre? I thought he was in a regular hospital. Ricky had a card for him and we all signed it when we was on the bus.”
“Yeah, but they’re sending him to Riverwood after that.”
“How do you know everything?”
“I heard Mrs. Phoebe tell Joanne to send his file.”
“Ain’t that a bitch? Pierre gets a beat-down from Louie, so they send Pierre off to el manicomio. Is that where they sent Cheri?”
“Yeah,” I says. “They always send ’em to Riverwood. You wanna hear something cool? When I was at my lawyer’s, I saw all these pictures of people and they were pissed off and holding signs that said DOWN WITH NURSING HOMES.”
“I got that same picture. With the succulent disabled brother? All chained to the door?”
“I don’t think so. On the wall?”
“Taped up by my bed.”
“Yeah, but I’m talking about a whole big wall. Like all these people? It was like a drawing?”
“We’re talking about two different things.”
“We should do that! You wanna?”
“Wanna what?” Yessie says. “Chain myself to something? Where we gonna get chain at? Hey, when you get sent to the nuthouse, then what happens? Do they ever come back?”
“Sometimes. Louie use to be a prison guard before,” I says.
“You told me.”
“I’m glad he’s gone.”
“Louie isn’t fired,” Yessie says.
“Is too,” I says.
“Is not. He’s suspended till they decide what punishment he gets. He might get fired or he might not. Jimmie said if a houseparent beats down on one of us and gets suspended they might could come back. If they—Mrs. Phoebe or somebody—think it’s not their fault. You got a caseworker?”
“Nah. I got my dad.”
“Oh yeah. I forgot. Where your mama at?”
“I ain’t her favorite person.”
“Oh. My caseworker’s Tanya Epstein. She’s nice. I asked could I get moved to some other place with less stricter rules but she said there’s no such place. But I wouldn’t go nowhere now anyway on account of Jimmie.”
“You and Jimmie are friends.”
“Why you acting so stupid about Mia?”
“I ain’t acting stupid,” I says.
“She misses you.”
I say, “She does?”
“What do you care?”
“C’mon, Yessie,” I says. “Do she?”
“What you two doin’ up?”
George ain’t exactly in but leaning up against the door. He took Jerry’s place when Jerry got fired. He’s okay, I guess. But George—one time I was sleeping, sleeping real good, and I wake up and the light is on and there’s George talking on his cell phone right in my room. I guess that’s better’n what Candy does which is she’s not never around.
Yessie says, “What you doing, George? Lurking?”
George says, “You’re not allowed in here. You better get back in bed, Yessie.”
“Bye, Teddy,” Yessie says. “And Bernard with your pitiful snoring self. Move out the way, George, so I can get through the door.”
George says, “I’m gonna have to tell on you for breaking the rules,” and Yessie says, “I was just going to get some water for him because you all ain’t doing your job.” Then George says, “I’m supposed to believe that?” and Yessie says, “I don’t care what you believe, I got my story and I’m sticking to it,” and George says, “Get to sleep, Teddy,” and then they left.
I called out, “Night, Yessie,” but they was already gone.