Jimmie Kendrick

You wouldn’t believe what’s happening at ILLC. It is crazy. And it’s all because of little Yessie.

They hired two new houseparents, for one thing. So that’s a start. The grapevine is that Mrs. Phoebe might get fired or “retire” but that could be wishful thinking. They have a new psychologist and she seems very cool. First thing she did was get the wheelchair guy over to ILLC to measure Mia for a brand-new power chair. Her own power chair. Mia is—you would not believe her face. I mean, the chair’s going to tilt like Joanne’s and everything. And Joanne was so happy. First thing she asked was what color did Mia pick, and when I told her pink, she sighed really deep and said, “Perfect.”

Now none of this would’ve happened without Access Now. They told Mrs. Phoebe that it’s against the law to deny power chairs to people who need them in nursing homes. So she didn’t have a choice. They had a couple lawyers out here and everything. So I guess there are a lot of people who want to see ILLC changed or maybe even closed. But if they close it, that’s a big deal. For the kids, you know?

There’s just a lot going on and it’s got me thinking about something.

I mean, the downside of closing ILLC is the kids know it might happen, even though the lawyers haven’t said a thing about it. But the kids know it’s a possibility and they’re scared. I don’t blame them. And of course ILLC and Whitney-Palm are stirring the pot by sending letters to the parents saying that, you know, “What’s going to happen to your child?” Telling them the Center for Disability Justice is trying to throw their kids out on the street. The CDJ lawyers say if it ever happens that ILLC gets closed, the kids who are old enough will get the help they need to live in the community, if that’s what they want. The younger kids, the minors, will go to places that are smaller, you know, better than ILLC.

Yessie’s only sixteen. She doesn’t have, like, a parent to cover her. I told her, you know, don’t believe ILLC, ’cause all they want to do is scare the parents. And even if it does happen it’ll be a long minute till the lawyers fight it all out and she might be eighteen by then and be her own guardian. But you know, that’s too many “mights” or “maybes” for her and for me too. I mean she’s been bounced from one place to another since her tía died. What I want to do is see can Yessie stay with me. As my foster daughter. If she’s up for it, of course.

We click. It’s like, I get where she’s coming from and she gets where I’m coming from. And that’s what’s up, you know? That’s what’s up.

She may feel like—like she’s not ready, she might not ever be ready to have anybody step in and say, “Hey, I want to be your foster parent.” I don’t want her to think my plan is “I’m gonna replace your tía Nene, I’m your mother now” or whatever because that is not where I’m coming from. I’m more, “This is a piece of paper, okay? Paper you fill out so Family Services will let you live with me and not in an institution. That paper has nothing to do with who we are together. That’s—that’s something we decide.” You know? Whether we’re mother and daughter or just friends or in between that, that’s cool. I’ll be there. She doesn’t need to call me anything different than always. I’m still just Jimmie. That’s what I’ll say. And if she’s not into it, that’s not going to mess us up either. I’m still just Jimmie, either way.

I’m taking a day off next week and I thought I could work it out so I can pick her up after school and surprise her when she’s coming out of Hoover and take her out for a little dinner. She’s been talking about how she misses eating the food she grew up with, pulled pork and all that. There’s this place that has Cuban sandwiches, the food is great and you can eat outside and I know she’ll like that and—that’s the plan. I’m going to bring it up to her then. I’ll see. You know? I’ll see.

I haven’t told any of this to a soul, not even Joanne.

I admit some of it is selfish. I just love Yessie and I think I could finish raising her. I think I might be pretty good at it. But hey, if that’s not comfortable for her, if that’s not what she wants—I just want her to know she has options. I don’t care if ILLC closes or not. If she wants out of this place, she’s got a home with me.