Eunice wasn’t sure what she expected of a second date, never having been on a second date before.
“You’re kidding. Right?” Bethany had stopped by to drop off freshly baked bread and a casserole dish filled with chicken potpie.
“We’re not starving here. Why does everyone keep bringing food?”
“Because you have two jobs and you’re dating.”
“That sounds as if I have a full dance card.”
“You have a dance card?” Bethany’s eyes twinkled as she took baby Daniel from Eunice and propped him in her lap, then pulled a bottle from her large purse that doubled as a diaper bag.
“Nope. I don’t. In fact, I’m pretty sure I don’t know how to dance.”
“Imagine that. So tell me all about your first date.”
“I told Becca. I guess I figured she’d tell Ada and Ada would tell you.”
“She did. They both did. But I want to hear it from you.”
“Gotcha.” So Eunice went through the entire date again. Each time she told the pickleball story, it was funnier than the time before. But the kiss. How was she supposed to describe that?
“It sounds as if you like him.” Bethany put the baby up on her shoulder and proceeded to rub his back in gentle circles.
“I do. It’s...it’s all rather sudden and more than a little bit scary.”
“You’re afraid it will ruin your friendship.”
“I suppose.”
“Instead of worrying about what might go wrong, focus on what might go right. Just think of it, sis. If you two do fall in love, then you might marry. And if you marry, you might have a wunderbaar little boy like this.” She turned Daniel to face her.
Eunice thought he was the most perfect baby boy she’d ever seen.
“Or a wunderbaar little girl like me.” Lydia popped into the room. She walked over to Eunice, put her arms around her and asked, “Is it true? Are you going to get married and have babies? Because this family has a lot of them already, but I wouldn’t mind more cousins.”
Eunice shrugged, which was enough of an answer for Lydia.
Later that night, she sat on the front porch, wrapped in an old quilt and studying the stars. Her dat brought out two mugs of herbal tea and sank into the rocker beside hers. Eunice had always been close to her father, maybe more than the normal young girl since he was her only parent. There had never been difficulty between them. She’d never snuck out in the middle of the night or insisted on dating the wrong kind of guy. They’d agreed on most everything, other than his worries over her being single.
But since Sarah had married and moved out, Eunice had felt closer to her father than ever before. She appreciated his silence. She loved that he didn’t push a subject or try to coax a person into talking about a thing.
Which, for Eunice, helped to loosen her tongue.
She found herself telling him about the date, though she omitted the part about the kiss. “I don’t know why I’m thinking so seriously about this. It’s only one date. It isn’t as if we’re promised to one another.”
“First dates can be very important. Also, it sounds to me like you’ve made a turn in your journey.”
“What does that mean?”
Amos laughed softly. “Life is a journey, ya?”
“I suppose.”
“The Good Book says as much.”
Eunice must have given him a skeptical look, because Amos began ticking off examples on his fingers. “We are told about the journey of Abraham, Moses and the prophets.”
“True.”
“And what of Job’s journey? Now there’s a book worth studying.”
“It’s a bit sad.”
“And beautiful—sometimes the two go hand in hand. Then we have the life of Christ and the journeys of the disciples.”
“Okay. Okay. You win. Lots of stuff about journeys there. But how is dating a journey?”
“Two ways I think. It’s a journey inward.” He tapped his heart.
That simple gesture reminded Eunice of his heart troubles a few years before. She’d never thought of him as vulnerable before, but weren’t they all? Life was fleeting and precious.
“When we journey inward we learn about ourselves, what things are important to us, what we appreciate and like about someone else. But dating is also an outward journey, toward another person and also with the other person. It’s a very exciting time, Eunice. I’m glad you’re having this experience.”
“But I don’t even know how it will turn out.”
“When we’re the one on the journey, we never do know how it will turn out.” He nodded, sipping his tea. She could just make out the silhouette of him from the beam of the lantern light in the living room.
He was aging. It hurt her to think about that. She loved her dat very much. But she supposed that aging, too, was a part of each of their journeys.
“Gotte will guide you.” His voice was soft, confident, warm. “Your family—we’re all here to support you, regardless which way your relationship with Zeb goes. It isn’t about a pressure for things to turn out a certain way. It’s more about discovering what Gotte has in store for your future. And that, Eunice, is a very exciting time.”
She continued sitting there long after her father went inside. The night was cold, but she was warm wrapped in the old quilt that Sarah had made for her when she’d turned ten. How was it that a blanket could warm your body but a quilt could warm your body and your soul?
She slept well that night, her dreams filled with fields of ripe corn and laughter as she ran her hands along the stalks.
The sun rose over a crisp November day in northern Indiana. Amos had suggested they not have tours during the Christmas parade. Everyone was excited about the community event and wanted to participate. Eunice rode into Shipshe with Becca and Gideon. Her father was already there, having worked at the market most of the day. When she saw Zeb standing in the market’s parking area, waving as if he was afraid she wouldn’t see him, something in her heart soared.
Her family loved her dearly.
Her schweschdern were her best friends.
But when had someone looked so excited to see her? As soon as she climbed out of the buggy, Josh threw himself at her, wrapping his arms around her and giving her a gigantic hug before dancing away and saying, “We are going to find the best seats ever!”
Before she could respond, he dashed off to see Mary and Lydia.
Zeb simply reached for her hand. “Ready?”
“Oh, ya. I believe I am.”
And then her schweschdern and bruders-in-law and nieces and nephews and even her father, they all walked together, out to the main road, jostling and laughing. Eunice realized in that moment that one significant thing had changed in her journey. She no longer felt on the outside of things.
She no longer felt like the odd woman out. She knew that it didn’t take falling in love to feel like a part of a group. No, this went deeper. She’d purposely kept herself apart from others, maybe because she was shy or maybe because she was uncertain how to express herself in a group. Now, though, she felt no need to express herself or fit in.
And so she did. She smiled, showing she was feeling warm and content. She laughed. She scooched in with the group, Zeb on one side, Ada on the other. Eunice joined the others as they all clapped and whistled and cheered the floats that came down the road spreading their message of the sacred season.
Eunice thought that maybe it was a perfect night.
Maybe even better than their first date had been.
And she reveled in this new and exciting time in her life.
Zeb insisted on driving her home, though she could have ridden with a family member. Josh had fallen asleep in the back seat. When they turned into the lane, he called softly to the mare so that she stopped well before they reached the house. Turning to her, he said, “I care about you very much, Eunice.” And then he’d gently, sweetly kissed her again.
And Eunice was willing to believe that this was the real thing. That Zeb was the man she’d been waiting for. She walked up the porch steps in something of a daze. It was only a second date. That’s what she told herself as she said good night to her father, made her way upstairs, prepared for bed. But when she fell into another deep sleep, she was again in the field of corn, and this time she wasn’t alone.
Zeb had the feeling that things were moving quickly. It was only a few weeks ago that his mamm had suggested he see a doctor. He’d taken Eunice out a total of four times now, if you included the Christmas parade, which he did. Four times did not sound like very much, but it seemed as if he’d known Eunice forever. He had known her nearly all of his life. And these new feelings—they felt right.
She was a bright woman. Kind. Beautiful.
Josh liked her—that was as plain as could be.
Zeb thought he might be falling in love. Could that even be possible? Was he betraying Suzanne? Was he sure? He wasn’t sure. So after the church service on Sunday, he sought out Ezekiel in order to have a few moments alone with the man.
The day was cold, but bright and sunny. They walked around the little pond behind the house on Huckleberry Lane. Since both Ethan and Aaron lived on the property, they hosted church services twice. It felt right to be back there again. This place—this family—was beginning to feel like home.
“Those King bruders have made a nice home, ya?”
“They have. Ethan and Aaron seem quite content.”
“Married to Bethany and Ada and three children between them.” There was a mischievous glint in Ezekiel’s eyes. “Gotte is good.”
“All the time,” Zeb said—the words automatic. It was something their community said. But he realized it was also something he believed. God was good. God had been good to him when He’d directed his path to merge with Suzanne’s, which had brought them Joshua. And now his path was going a different way.
“But it wasn’t always easy for Ethan and Aaron. They’ll tell you about their family, what they went through with their parents. Times were hard when they were young and even when they became adults. They weren’t sure that they could give a woman the things she needed or the things they felt she deserved.”
“It’s something I struggle with myself.”
“Is it now?” Ezekiel nodded as if he weren’t a bit surprised. “Doubt is okay, Zeb. It’s natural to have doubts. But in Christ we can have confidence.”
“It’s Josh I’m worried about. Will my feelings for Eunice confuse him?”
“Have you asked?”
“Nein. I haven’t. Seems a heavy topic for a five-year-old.”
“And yet, it’s important to share what’s in your heart, in a way that he will understand.”
“Right.”
They were at the far side of the pond now. Zeb could just make out the group moving in and out of the barn. He supposed the parents were checking on children, the children were playing games of tag, the youngies looked to be attempting a game of softball in the field though it was probably too cold for that.
“What else is on your mind?”
“Josh. Josh is always on my mind. Am I parenting him as I should? Would marrying again be the right move for him? Would he adjust to Eunice being his new mamm, and before you ask... I have not asked her. We’ve only been on four dates. Why am I even thinking this way? It seems too soon. Too fast.”
“Perhaps your thoughts are catching up with your heart.”
“Maybe.”
“May I speak frankly?” Ezekiel asked.
Ezekiel was the only bishop that Zeb had ever really known. The bishop in Lancaster was someone that he’d been polite to, but never really become close with. He’d never had a heart-to-heart discussion like this. Ezekiel had married Zeb’s parents. He’d probably been present at Zeb’s birth. He’d always been frank.
But Zeb nodded as if he were taking the question seriously. “Ya, ya. Of course you can.”
“Gotte has chosen you to raise this boy, Zeb. It’s a precious job—a higher calling. You can trust that Gotte will also equip you to do this very hard thing. He’s started already, by filling you with an unmeasurable love for Joshua.”
Zeb nodded, though a lump in his throat prevented him from speaking.
“Pray on this. Don’t be afraid to ask Gotte for His direction. Pray about Eunice, about your feelings for her, about your concern for Josh. You’ll know the right thing to do.”
It was exactly what Zeb needed to hear.
That night he spoke to Josh, told him that he cared for Eunice, asked for his opinion on their dating.
Josh said simply, “Ya. Cool.” Then he preceded to knock over his glass of milk and refuse to eat his vegetables. The first was an accident of course, the second not so much.
On Wednesday, he broke a vase in Becca’s house.
“You were told not to play ball inside, Josh.”
“Ya, but it’s always raining outside.”
The weather had turned. The temperatures were cold, but not cold enough to freeze the roads. The rain was constant and much drearier than a week of snow would have been.
On Thursday, Josh woke in a bad mood, refusing to cooperate at all with anything that Zeb asked him to do.
By Friday, he had a meltdown in the buggy on the way to Becca’s home. Zeb couldn’t cancel the tour, but he didn’t feel good leaving his son with Becca.
“We’ll be fine. Maybe he can rest and read a book.”
He didn’t rest, and he didn’t read a book. Instead, he snuck outside and refused to come in when called. Apparently, he’d been hiding behind the chicken coop.
“I don’t know what’s going on with him,” Zeb admitted to Eunice.
“Well. Maybe it’s normal for a boy his age.”
“Maybe. He acted this way after Suzanne died.”
“Is it coming up on the anniversary?”
“Nein. She passed in March.”
“Has anything else changed?”
They were once again standing in the kitchen as Becca served the guests hot drinks and cookies. It felt natural for him to be here with Eunice. It felt right.
“I tried to talk to him about us.”
“About us?” Her eyes widened. She stared at him, waiting, unable or unwilling to say the words for him.
“About how we feel about each other. At least, how I think we feel about each other.”
“Well—” Her cheeks flushed, and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “I’ve enjoyed our dates.”
“But it feels like something more. Right? I’m not the only one who feels like this is going very fast?”
“This?”
“Our relationship. We seem to have gone from friends to...well, to something more in a very short amount of time.”
Eunice cleared her throat. “Sarah says it’s different for different people.”
“You’ve spoken to her? About us?”
“Yeah. I have.”
He reached for her hand, squeezed it, thought of kissing her. Which of course was when one of the tourists walked in looking for a refill on the coffee. Eunice helped him, and Zeb went in search of Josh who was supposed to be in Mary’s room but wasn’t. He finally found him in the buggy, lying in the back seat, throwing a tennis ball against the ceiling.
“Son, I’ve been calling you for twenty minutes.”
“Oh. Couldn’t hear you.”
“Couldn’t or didn’t want to?”
“What’s the difference?”
“We’ll talk about this more when we get home.”
“Whatever.”
Zeb felt as if he were talking to an antagonistic teenager. His son was five. Where had all of this attitude come from?
He spoke with Eunice on the phone the next day. “It pains me to say it, but perhaps we should put our dating on hold.”
“Okay.”
It was hard to guess exactly what she was thinking from one word. So, he asked. “Is it okay? Are you okay with this?”
“Zeb, I care about you and about Joshua. If Joshua needs time to process what is going on between you and me, then let’s give him time.”
They decided to take a break for the rest of December. Zeb didn’t like it, but he honestly didn’t know what else to do. He received word that his loan had been approved. The first thing he did was call Eunice at the yarn shop. She congratulated him, and he admitted how relieved he was. But the knowledge that he’d be able to raise Josh in his childhood home didn’t bring him the joy he would have expected. Did the place really matter? Or was it the people that made a place special? When he wrote in his journal, he admitted to himself that he’d been picturing Eunice there, sharing their life. And now, he didn’t know if that was going to happen.
Christmas wasn’t the joyous affair he’d imagined. He spent it at home with Samuel and Josh. The boy’s mood seemed to brighten when he opened his gifts. A ball and glove from Samuel. Newly knitted mittens, hat and scarf from Zeb’s parents. A book about farm animals from Zeb.
Then Christmas was over.
A week later, Zeb put the new calendar on the wall hook in the kitchen—where his mamm had always kept it.
He would still see Eunice at the tours that were set to begin again the next week. Would that make things better or worse?
He wasn’t sure he’d done the right thing.
He wasn’t happy that he’d put his relationship with Eunice on hold. And going into the new year, he had absolutely no idea what he’d done wrong with his son or how he could possibly fix it. But he did know that he needed Eunice in this new year. He didn’t want to even attempt it on his own.
How could he be sensitive to whatever Josh was going through and still hold true to his dreams, to the love he felt for Eunice?
And how long would she be willing to wait?