6. The Cadaver Who Joined the Army

* According to the Kind & Knox Web site, other products made with cow-bone-and-pigskin-based gelatin include marshmallows, nougat-type candy bar fillings, liquorice, Gummi Bears, caramels, sports drinks, butter, ice cream, vitamin gel caps, suppositories, and that distasteful whitish peel on the outside of salamis. What I am getting at here is that if you’re going to worry about mad cow disease, you probably have more to worry about than you thought. And that if there’s any danger, which I like to think there isn’t, we’re all doomed, so relax and have another Snickers.