14

Olivia’s dark cloud seemed to lift a bit on the way to San Ramon. Chris glanced at her in his rearview mirror as she gazed out the side window singing some nameless tune to herself. She seemed content and at peace, and it killed him that he was going to have to shatter both.

“So, Livvy. Have you thought about what kind of pizza you want?” He raised his voice a bit so she could hear him in the backseat.

“Well, I don’t like pineapple, and I don’t like mushrooms, and I don’t like olives, and I don’t like peppers.”

“What do you like?”

“Pepperoni and cheese.”

“That’s it?”

“Yep. Are we almost there?”

“We are.” Chris pulled into the parking lot, parked his Jeep, and turned off the engine. “Let’s go eat.”

Even after they had settled into their booth and ordered a pepperoni pizza, Chris couldn’t think of a way to tell Olivia that her mom wouldn’t be coming to get her as planned.

“Sorry your day didn’t work out like you hoped it would. I know you were really looking forward to it.”

Olivia just shrugged without looking up from the straw she was sipping from.

“Maybe you’ll get to see Belle again after all.” If there was any consolation in the news Chris was going to have to break, he was desperate to offer it.

“Nope.” Olivia leaned back and shoved her nearly empty glass away. “Sarah said she had to spend all her time getting ready for school now, and Mom’ll be coming for me. This was my last chance. And it got ruined.”

The pizza arrived and Chris slid a piece onto the plate in front of Olivia. “Really? Ruined? I know it didn’t go the way you planned, but you still spent the day riding Belle, didn’t you?”

Olivia, picking her way around the hot pizza, just nodded.

“And on the trail too. Not in the arena. It doesn’t sound all that ruined to me.”

Olivia gave him a glare that would wither plants and, having given up on the hot cheese, picked a piece of pepperoni off the top. If she had declared her day a disaster, she clearly was in no mood for a pep talk intended to convince her otherwise. Chris gave up and turned his attention to his own plate. This was not going well.

Finally, with only one piece of pizza left on the pan, Chris knew he couldn’t put off the news any longer. He slid his plate away and sat back.

“Your mom called today while you were gone.”

Olivia looked up. “Is she coming to get me?”

“Well, that’s the thing, Livvy. She will come back, I know you can count on that. But she won’t be here as soon as she thought she would. So what do you think about starting school right here in Last Chance?”

Olivia just looked at him, and Chris felt a twisting ache take hold in the middle of his chest. He hadn’t known what to expect when he told her that her mom wasn’t coming back. He had been braced for anger, questions, maybe tears, but the return of that hard little nothing-can-get-me expression just sucker punched him.

“So, I was thinking.” Chris picked up the check and slid out of the booth. Dinner was definitely over. “What if I took a few days off before school starts and we went to the Grand Canyon? I’ll bet Miss Juanita and Carlos can hold the fort just fine.”

“That’s okay.” He could almost see the wall that was going back up around her heart, and he wondered again that someone as small as she was could make him feel so inept and helpless.

After she was buckled into the backseat, he leaned in and waited for her to look at him. Her gaze fastened on his shirt button. “Olivia, I want you to listen to me. This is important. I’m so sorry that your mom won’t be here this week to get you. But I want you to understand that the reason I’m sorry is because it makes you sad, and I hate it when you’re sad. I’m not one bit sorry that you’re staying longer with me, though. I love having you live at my house, and I know the two of us will do just fine.”

He waited for her to say something, but when nothing came, he used his thumb to wipe the single tear that had found its way to her cheek. “I love you, Livvy. Don’t you ever forget that.”

He started to back out, but she threw her arms around his neck and held on. And even after the muscles in his back and neck started to complain, he stood there in a bent-double crouch gently stroking her back until she was ready to let go.

The stars had come out and a cool night wind swept the flagstone patio outside the restaurant where Brandon had taken Sarah. The umbrellas that shaded tables at noon were closed and tightly bound against any gust that might catch them and lift them over the low stone railing and into the gorge below.

“How did you find this place? I’ve lived around here all my life and didn’t know it was here.” Sarah sat on the low wall and looked across the valley. Off in the distance the lights of a small town flickered against the darkness.

“Oh, I have my ways.” Brandon tried to sound mysterious, but Sarah had known him too long.

“Seriously.”

He shrugged. “Internet research, what else? Actually, it hasn’t been here all that long—the restaurant, that is. It used to be a ranch house. I think the whole ranch is going to be developed into a retirement community.”

Sarah wished he hadn’t said that. More change. Visions of bulldozers and cul-de-sacs and golf courses thrust the gentle night aside. She took a deep breath. Nope. She wasn’t going to let an uncertain future spoil the here and now.

“Let’s take a walk before we head back.” She held out her hand, and Brandon tugged her to her feet.

Brandon kept her hand, and as they walked down the road, Sarah had to admit to herself that her hand felt right in his. After all, that was where it had been for most of their college years. When they reached the end of the road and turned to head back to the car, Brandon put both hands on her shoulders and looked down into her face. She knew he was going to kiss her and stepped back. This was not taking it slow, as he had promised. But before she could say a word, he bent over her and lightly, almost imperceptibly, brushed her lips with his.

“Something to remember me by.” He smiled down at her and took her hand again.

They walked back to the car without saying anything else, and even the drive back to Last Chance was quiet. Sarah was glad Brandon was leaving for Chicago in the morning. That kiss, more than anything Brandon could have done, had turned her thoughts upside down.

Over her protest, he insisted on walking her to her front door, but he didn’t try to kiss her again. And when she didn’t invite him in, he accepted it without a word.

“Thanks.” Sarah smiled up at him. “I really enjoyed tonight.”

“You sound surprised.”

“Well, I didn’t know what to expect. But this was fun. I’d do it again—most of it, anyway.” The corner of his mouth and one eyebrow tipped up, and Sarah changed the subject. “When do you leave tomorrow?”

“I’ll hit the road before dawn. I want to get to Oklahoma City tomorrow and then on into Chicago the next night.”

“Wow. Those are some long days.”

He shrugged. “I’ll take the scenic route next time. I’m anxious to get there and get started.”

“Drive safe.” Sarah put her hand on his arm. “Be sure to stop when you get tired. And let me know when you get there safely.”

Brandon covered the hand on his arm with his own and moved it to his chest. “You could still come, you know. Just for the ride and to see where I’m going to be.”

Sarah took her hand back and reached for the doorknob. “Good night, Brandon. I do wish you all the very best with your new life. I hope it’s everything you want it to be.”

She slipped into the house and closed the door behind her. After a minute, she heard his BMW purr to life and glide down the street until the sound was swallowed by silence. As smooth and tasteful as Brandon himself.

“Oh, Brandon.” Sarah slipped out of her shoes and wandered into the kitchen to put the kettle on. “Why do you need to complicate everything?”

It had not been easy to reclaim her life when she saw it disappear into Brandon’s plans, but she had done it. And now, when she was finally getting everything arranged the way she liked, here he came again.

By the time the whistle on her teakettle blew, she had changed into an oversized New Mexico State T-shirt and some gym shorts. She took her mug of tea onto the front porch and tucked one bare leg up under her as she settled into the rocker. Except for the whisper of the night wind through the cottonwoods, the night was silent. Even the crickets seemed to have gone to bed. Pushing the rocker into motion with the foot that still touched the porch, she took a sip of tea and offered a quick prayer of thanks that Brandon would be on his way tomorrow. She had been so sure of the way her life would go until he had turned up on her doorstep, and even now, she knew teaching here in Last Chance was what she really wanted to do. But Brandon had this way of stirring everything up and making it all murky again. She had promised him she’d keep an open mind and let things unfold as they would, but oh, she was glad he was going to be in Chicago.

Sarah glanced at her watch. Nearly midnight, and the town had pretty much rolled up the sidewalks. How different from Chicago where the city never slept. Or was that New York? The only light on her silent street came from the glow of Elizabeth’s front room. Gran must still be up. On impulse, Sarah got up and padded down the street in her bare feet, still clutching her mug of tea.

The curtain drew aside and Elizabeth’s concerned face appeared at the window at Sarah’s tap, followed almost immediately by the unlatching of the front door.

“Sarah, what in the world? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Gran.” Sarah smiled as she came in. “I was on my porch and saw your light and thought I’d come say hi.”

Elizabeth did not look at all reassured. “But you’re in your nightclothes.”

Sarah looked down at herself. “They’re only nightclothes because I wear them to bed. They can be day clothes too, you know.”

Elizabeth just stood in her quilted bathrobe and fuzzy slippers looking at her, and Sarah realized Gran was not going to buy the “zany visit in the middle of the night” story.

“Okay, I’ve got a lot on my mind, and I was hoping we could talk.” She held out her mug. “More?”

Elizabeth was a self-proclaimed night owl anyway, but even if she had begun to flag a bit, nothing could energize her quite like the promise of a heart-to-heart.

“Of course, honey. Let me just cut that television off and I’ll put the kettle on.”

Sarah followed her grandmother into the kitchen, and when Elizabeth turned from the stove, Sarah was already sitting at the kitchen table. Elizabeth got a box of cookies from the cupboard and joined her.

“Now, what’s got you running barefooted up and down the street in the middle of the night?”

By the time the kettle boiled, Sarah had told her story, ending with Brandon driving off to Chicago.

“I knew we hadn’t seen much of Brandon since you got home this summer, but I just assumed it was because you were both so busy.” Elizabeth poured boiling water over the leaves and set the teapot on the table. “I have to admit I was surprised, though. In my day, when you were in love, you looked for every possible excuse to be together. I just figured things must have changed there too, like they have everywhere else.”

“Nope, things haven’t changed all that much in that department. Which is why I tried to put distance between us.”

“Well, I’m just as sorry as I can be that I messed things up for you. If I had known you weren’t seeing him anymore, I would never have invited him in for a visit. And I certainly would not have walked him down to your house.”

“I know, Gran.” Sarah patted her grandmother’s hand. “I should have said something. But maybe it was for the best. Brandon says he’s changed and that I can have all the time I need to see that for myself. Maybe he is the one, and I would never have known it if you hadn’t brought him down.”

“Well, I’d be the last one to say a person can’t change. I’ve seen it too many times.” Elizabeth refilled Sarah’s mug and poured a cup for herself. “But it usually takes a lot more than want-to. What’s Brandon’s relationship with the Lord?”

“I don’t know. He went to church with me, and I do have to say he’s a good person, but it’s not something we’ve really talked about. Faith was just a given.”

“Faith is never just a given, sweetie. You haven’t asked for any advice, but I’m going to give you some anyway. When you do start talking about the future, start with that. Because with a shared faith, even a Chicago city mouse and a New Mexico country mouse can make a nest. And I should know.”

Sarah smiled. “That’s right. You’ve been here so long I sometimes forget that you came from Chicago. And you made it work.”

“It wasn’t always easy, especially at first. We were as different as chalk and cheese, and without our shared faith, oh my, I likely would have been on the first eastbound train.”

Sarah squeezed her hand, the one with the thin gold band almost embedded in her fourth finger. “I’m glad you stayed.”

“Oh, I am too. I wouldn’t have missed the life I’ve lived for anything.”

“I guess I should go. It’s awful late.” Sarah picked up her mug and got to her feet. “Thanks for the tea. And the talk.”

“Anytime, honey. That’s what I’m here for.” Elizabeth picked up her cup too. “I think I’ll just take my tea into the front room. Hawaii Five-0 is fixing to come on. They have the best shows on late at night.”

The sidewalk still felt warm against her bare feet as Sarah headed back home, though the night had turned cool. The days of August and early September could be among the warmest of the year, but the nights tended to whisper that summer was almost over and fall was on the way. Soon school would be starting and she’d be far too busy, she hoped, for all this emotional hand-wringing over Brandon. As if he sensed she was thinking about him, the phone in her pocket signaled a text: “DFILY.” Don’t forget I love you. It was a shorthand message they sent each other as texts, or left on untended computers, or even murmured when they parted all through college. Brandon was really pulling out all the stops. She almost smiled as she slipped her phone back into her pocket, but she didn’t respond.

Across Last Chance, in the yellow-and-white singlewide, Chris shut down his computer and stretched. It was way too late and that alarm clock was going to go off way too early, but he couldn’t help that. Olivia had had a rough night, and even going online shopping with her and letting her pick out a new bedspread and curtains for the bedroom that was now hers didn’t help all that much.

She was a tough little cookie, careful not to let anyone see her feelings, but good-nights were eventually said, the lights were turned out, and Chris had to leave her alone. After she went to bed, he tried again a few times to reach Kaitlyn, but his calls, no surprise, went straight to voice mail. Finally, fighting the urge to throw his phone through the front window, he took a deep breath and willed the calm into his voice. “Call your daughter. She deserves that.” Not trusting himself to say another word, he hung up and shoved his phone back in his pocket.

On his way to his room, he thought he heard sniffling as he passed her door and stepped in her room to check on her. She lay still and her eyes were closed, but her stiff little shoulders and the scowl on her face told him she was not asleep. He brushed the hair from her face and stooped to kiss her damp cheek.

“It’s going to be okay, Livvy. We’re going to be fine.” His voice was low, barely above a whisper, and though his words were meant to reassure his niece, he found himself repeating them after he had gently closed her door and gone to his own room. Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll be fine. Just before he turned out his light, he put his face in his hands. Lord, if ever I needed your guidance, it’s now. I don’t know what I’m doing. Please don’t let me ruin that little girl’s life.