22
Sarah kicked off her shoes at the door when she got home Monday afternoon and went to put the kettle on for tea. Sometime between now and the time she went to bed, Brandon would call, and she needed to think about what she was going to say to him. It would be so helpful to have someone to talk to, but her options in Last Chance were pretty slim. Chris was a great listener but hardly the right person for this conversation. She liked Megan, but Megan always did a whole lot more talking than listening. And then there was Gran—warm, wise, never judgmental . . . and her grandmother, for crying out loud. Who went to their grandmother for advice about men?
Me, I guess. Sarah sighed and dug for her phone.
“Hey, Gran.” She tried to make her voice light and casual. Gran could spot a problem at a quarter mile. “Say, I thought I might come over after dinner for a little while, if it’s okay with you. Maybe have some more of that pie, if you and Olivia haven’t finished it off.”
“Sure, honey. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” She laughed lightly. She tossed her hair too, for effect, but of course Gran couldn’t see that. “I just wanted to come over for a bit.”
“You can come right now if you want. Olivia’s busy with her homework, but we can go out on the porch if you need some privacy.”
“Gran, I don’t need privacy.” Well, yes I do. Olivia’s the last one I’d want to overhear me, which is why I’m not coming till after she goes home. “I just want to visit. Now that school is taking up so much of my time and Olivia is taking up so much of yours, I don’t get to see you as much as I’d like.”
Sarah was starting to feel uncomfortable. What had begun as hedging was turning into outright fibbing, and fibbing to Gran had never been a good idea.
But Gran was ready to let her off the hook. “Okay, dear. I’ll save you a piece of pie and see you after dinner. We’ll have us a talk.”
After scrounging around in her refrigerator for something to call dinner and eating it while leaning against the counter, Sarah walked down the street. Gran was in her recliner watching one of her old detective reruns and crocheting. She smiled when Sarah came in.
“Hello, sweet girl. I’ve been waiting for you.”
Sarah collapsed onto the sofa. “Oh, Gran, things are in such a mess.”
Elizabeth rested her hands on the afghan in her lap. “Cut that television off for me, will you, darlin’? And then why don’t you tell me what’s in such a mess. I bet we can get something figured out.”
Sarah did as she was asked and then plopped back on the sofa. She tucked her bare feet up under her and blew a gusty sigh. “I had such a good time last night.”
Elizabeth just nodded.
“We just went as friends, of course.” Sarah stroked Sam, who had jumped up next to her when she sat down. “But I think Chris would like for there to be something more.”
“And what do you want?”
“That’s just it. I don’t know. I mean, I told you that when Brandon came over that time, I promised him I’d give things another try, just taking it a day at a time. I’m going to go see him Thanksgiving.” She shot a quick look at her grandmother. “Don’t worry, Gran. I’m staying in a hotel.”
“It never occurred to me that you’d do otherwise.”
“But now,” Sarah went on, “I don’t know what to do. Chris is such a great guy, and I have such a good time with him. I think I want to see where things go with him too.”
“Do both men know about each other?”
Sarah nodded, feeling miserable.
“And what do they think?”
“Well, Chris accepts that I’ve made a commitment of sorts to Brandon, and he says he’s willing to just go out as friends. But Brandon hates that I went to dinner with Chris last night. He called five or six times before I got home, and we sort of argued about that. He’s going to call again tonight so we can talk things over some more. And really, Gran, I’m about ready to tell him I don’t think we have any future together and he should stop calling.”
The silence in the room grew until Sarah broke it. “So what do I do, Gran?”
Elizabeth picked up her crocheting again. “Well, you didn’t ask who I thought was the better man for you, so I’m not going to say anything about that. But as for the predicament you did mention, as I see it there are several different issues. First, you made a commitment to Brandon. I’m not saying it’s carved in stone, but the first thing you need to decide is what you’re going to do about it. If you’re sure Brandon’s not the man God has for you, then tell him so plainly and let him get on with his life while you get on with yours.”
“But that’s just it, Gran. He might be the one. I’m just not sure yet.”
“Well then, find out. Talk on the phone, write letters, go see him, and encourage him to come spend time with your family. Do a lot of praying on it. You thought he was the one at one point. And if you find his faith is real and not just a given like you said, maybe he is.”
“But what about Chris?”
Elizabeth sat back and looked at her. “Honey, I just don’t see how you can have it both ways. Brandon wants to marry you, and you have given him reason to think that might happen someday. So going around with Chris and pretending to yourself he’s just a friend isn’t right. It’s not fair to Chris, and it’s not fair to Brandon, and it’s sure not fair to you. It’s just tearing you up. So here’s my advice, for what it’s worth: go ahead and talk to Brandon tonight. If you decide to continue with him, then give it everything you’ve got until you know. That’s the only honorable thing you can do. And that means no more dates with Chris Reed until you’ve decided one way or the other. If you decide to end things once and for all with Brandon, why, I can’t think of a finer man to spend time with than Chris. Oh, shoot, I said I wasn’t going to tell you which man I favored, and then I went and did it.”
“Don’t worry, Gran.” Sarah’s smile was sad. “It didn’t come as a complete surprise.”
Elizabeth went back to her crocheting. Sam laid a paw on Sarah’s leg and hooked a claw in her jeans to remind her of her petting duties. After rubbing under his chin and scratching his ears for a few silent minutes, Sarah sighed again and got to her feet. “I just wish life didn’t have to be so complicated.”
Elizabeth just shook her head. “Well, it is, darlin’. And there you have it.”
Sarah leaned over her grandmother’s recliner and kissed the cheek Elizabeth turned up to her. “I think I’ll go on home. I need to do a lot of thinking before I talk to Brandon.”
“Don’t you want any pie?”
“No, I guess not. I’m just not in the mood for pie.”
“Okay then, sweetie. Just be sure to spend some of that thinking time praying.”
“I will.”
“And don’t forget, I’m right here if you need me.”
Sarah stopped with her hand on the door latch and smiled at her grandmother. “You always are.”
“Are we having macaroni and cheese for dinner?” Olivia wandered into the kitchen and leaned against the counter.
“Nope.” Chris didn’t look up from his cutting board.
“Awww. Why?”
“You know our rule. Macaroni and cheese once a week, and it’s not due till Thursday.”
“Mom let me have it any time I wanted it. Every night, even.”
“Yeah, well . . .” Chris let his thought fade away without finishing it. “Why don’t you set the table for us? Dinner will be ready in a minute.”
“I want to eat on the coffee table and watch television.”
“What’s with you tonight, Livvy? We eat at the table, you know that.” He turned toward the refrigerator and waited an instant for Olivia to move out of his way. She just stood there, looking at the floor.
“Livvy? Something wrong?” She sniffed, and Chris saw her shoulders heave. He squatted on his heels and waited for her to look at him. “What is it, honey?”
Her eyes were squeezed shut against tears that were finding their way out anyway, and her face was a mask of misery. At his touch, the floodgates opened. “I miss my mom.”
Chris drew her into his arms and held her while she buried her face in his shirt and sobbed. After a couple minutes, he became aware that he was either going to have to stand up or going to fall over, so he picked her up and they moved to the sofa. Olivia hardly ever cried, and when she did, it never lasted, so it wasn’t long before she was resting quietly against his chest, sniffing. Chris handed her a tissue.
It was the most natural thing in the world that a little girl would want her mother, and Olivia’s stay with him had never been intended to be permanent. In fact, when Kaitlyn first took off, he’d found the arrangement to be inconvenient at best, as much as he loved Olivia, and heading downhill from there. But the two of them had done just fine, hadn’t they? There had been a few rough spots, sure, most notably the fight at school, but things were looking up. She was doing better in school, loving her riding lessons, even making friends. She was happy, or least Chris had thought she was.
He leaned his head back against the sofa. What do you know anyway, Reed? In less than twenty-four hours, you’ve managed to get both Sarah and Livvy heading for the hills. The only thing you haven’t fouled up is the diner, but give it time. There’s always tomorrow. He straightened up and shook his head to clear it. But you are pretty good at feeing sorry for yourself, I’ll give you that.
Olivia looked up at him to see what was going on, and he gave a straggly lock of her hair a little tug. “So you think we need to tell your mom it’s time for her to come home?”
She nodded.
“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. Just this once, we’re going to have our dinner on the coffee table and watch television. But you need to set it with place mats and everything.”
“And have macaroni and cheese?”
“No. Don’t push it, kid. And then, after dinner, we’ll try to call your mom. But you have to remember that she’s already told us she’s not coming back till spring. So she’ll very likely say no. Got that?”
“Yep.” Olivia jumped off his lap and ran for the place mats, as if hurrying dinner would hurry her mom’s return.
Chris watched her go. He realized he hated the thought that Kaitlyn was going to return and take Olivia back home to Scottsdale. Kaitlyn was immature, selfish, and careless, but she did love her daughter, in her way, and would eventually want her with her. He didn’t want to think about what that would mean for Olivia, both in the near and distant future. And if he were honest, he didn’t want to think about what that would mean to him either.
When her phone rang at 11:00, Sarah was ready. She had thought, considering the way they left things the night before, that he might call earlier, but Brandon was not a random kind of guy. He called at 11:00.
Unless you’re checking up on me. Sarah picked up her phone and curled up in a corner of the sofa. “Hi, Brandon.”
“Hi.” There was a long pause. Sarah waited. “I guess first I need to say sorry for all the phone calls last night.”
“Well, that’s a good place to start.”
“I really thought you’d be home by 9:00 or so, since it wasn’t a date or anything.”
Was Brandon apologizing or taking shots?
“Anyway, when you didn’t pick up, I thought maybe you were just busy or saying good-bye to Chris or something, so I called again, and when you still didn’t pick up, things just got a little out of hand.”
“I’ll say they did. What did you do? Hit Redial every time you hung up?”
“I guess that’s how it seems. But it wasn’t quite that bad. Anyway, I am sorry for the whole thing—the jealous jackass I was before you left, and all those pathetic phone calls while you were gone. That isn’t me. And I give you my word that it’s not someone you’ll ever see again. Will you forgive me?”
“Of course I forgive you, Brandon.” Sarah took a deep breath. This was not going to be easy. “But I’ve been doing a lot of thinking today, and praying, and I just don’t think this is working. We’re just in such different places in our lives—literally, figuratively, spiritually, any way you can think of.”
“No. No, I don’t think we are.” Brandon cut her off. “Well, we’re in different places physically, obviously, but that’s the only problem I can see. The rest, no, I just don’t agree with you at all.”
“Brandon . . .”
“Let me finish. Please. These last few weeks have been hard on us both. We’re both starting new jobs, new careers actually, and I don’t know about you, but I’m finding I don’t know a fraction of what I thought I did.”
Sarah almost smiled. That was quite an admission coming from Brandon, but she had to admit to herself that she knew what he was talking about.
“And we live so far apart,” he continued. “Things that we might not even notice, or that we could talk over, get blown way out of proportion because we can’t be together—things like your dinner with a friend, or my having to change plans because of work.”
“That’s just what I’m talking about, Brandon. This long-distance thing just isn’t working.”
“And I say it can, if we give it a chance.”
Sarah closed her eyes. “Brandon . . .”
“Look, when I get married, and I hope it’s to you, it’s going to be for keeps. That means that every single problem that comes up is going to have to be met head-on and dealt with. You can’t run from them. Even I know that much. So, as I see it, this is just the first hurdle. I think we can clear it, and I don’t want to give up until we know for sure.”
“What if I think I already know?”
“Do you know, Sarah? For sure? I don’t. Look, you’ve already made plans to come here for Thanksgiving. Let’s give it till then. That’s only about six weeks. If you still want to end things between us then, it’ll kill me, but I’ll know you gave it everything you had.”
Sarah felt a twinge of conscience. Had she really given it everything she had? Or had she sort of taken Brandon’s attentiveness for granted while she kept her options open?
She took a deep breath. “Until Thanksgiving?”
Sarah heard relief, maybe it was even joy, flood Brandon’s voice. “Until Thanksgiving, that’s all I ask.”
Really, Brandon? That’s all? It sure sounds to me like you’re asking for a lot more than that.
“All right, then.” Sarah smiled into the phone and willed her voice to catch up. “If, as you say, this is just the first of a lifetime of hurdles we’re going to clear, then we should know by Thanksgiving.”
“We’re going to make it. Wait and see. This is going to be one of those ‘you kids today have it easy’ stories we tell our grandchildren.”
Sarah laughed. Brandon’s mood was infectious. “By then fifteen hundred miles will seem like nothing. Their long-distance romances will be between planets.”
“Long-distance romance. I like the way you say that.”
“Is it the long distance you like, or the romance?”
“You know the answer to that without my saying. I hate the long-distance part. And I want you to know that as of, well, last night, I’m butting out of your social life in Last Chance. I trust you implicitly, and that means if you want to go to dinner with Chris, go for it.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Sarah kept it breezy. “We had fun, but it was probably a onetime thing.”
There was just a beat of silence before Brandon picked up the conversation again. “Well, okay, but it’s totally up to you.”
“Thanks, Brandon. Your confidence means a lot.” She looked at her cat clock in the kitchen. “You know what? It is way late, even in Last Chance, and I need to get to bed. We’ll talk again soon.”
“Oh, one more thing. I was going to surprise you, but all things considered, I’d better let you know. I have a meeting in LA next Monday, and I thought I’d fly into El Paso Friday night and then go on to LA late Sunday. Are you free this weekend?”
“Oh, yes. I think we need a little face time.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
Sarah laughed. “That’s not what I meant.”
“We’ll just see.” Sarah could almost hear his grin. “I’ll keep you posted on my flight times. Call you tomorrow at 11:00?”
“I’ll be waiting.” She heard him blow a kiss as she hung up.
Sarah sat for a moment holding her phone. This was not how she thought the call would go, but she was okay with it. In fact, she found she was actually looking forward to the weekend and having Brandon in Last Chance.
Turning out the light, she headed back to her room. On the way, her phone signaled a text. It was from Brandon: “DFILY.” Don’t forget I love you.
She hesitated a long moment before she sent her own text: “DFILY.”
Chris turned off the television and tossed the remote on the coffee table. He had told Olivia she could wait up for her mom to return her call if she put on her pajamas and curled up on the sofa under a blanket. Olivia had been asleep since 9:00, and, of course, Kaitlyn had never called.
He turned out the light and scooped Olivia off the sofa, blanket and all. The princess movie he had put in for Olivia hadn’t really captured his attention, and he’d had plenty of time to think things over as the evening went on. He had come to a couple of conclusions. First, as much as he loved his sister, she was beyond rotten as a mother, and he was going to do everything he could to keep Olivia. He didn’t think Livvy stood a chance otherwise. And second, he wasn’t all that crazy about this Brandon guy either. Chris had been around women in love, and to tell the truth, all of them seemed a lot happier about it than Sarah did. He was done worrying about stepping on some other guy’s turf. If Brandon won the day, it would be because he was the better man. But it would not be because Chris hadn’t given him the fight of his life.
He strode down the hall with Olivia in his arms and her blanket trailing behind. He had learned a long time ago that if something was worth having, it was worth fighting for.