27

It was still dark when Chris wandered into the living room Christmas morning and plugged in the tree lights. Since Kaitlyn had been with them, he had come to treasure his quiet moments alone in the morning like never before. When he turned on the coffeemaker, he could see through the kitchen window the little travel trailer where she slept. He’d been concerned that she might feel isolated, even banished by the arrangement, but she had welcomed it. She said she felt safe there.

He put in a CD of Christmas music and sat in his big chair to wait for the coffee. Kaitlyn was a different woman from the laughing, irresponsible sister who rode her motorcycle down his driveway and left him to raise her daughter. She was too thin, too listless, and something had changed in her eyes too. They were always sad.

“Is it Christmas yet?” Olivia stood by his chair rubbing one eye.

“It is indeed, Liverhead.” Chris lifted her onto his lap. “And merry Christmas to you.”

“Can I open my presents?”

“When your mom gets up. But you can look at your stocking if you want.”

“Can I turn on the fire?”

“Sure.” Sarah had presented him with a fireplace DVD a week or so after Thanksgiving, and Olivia had hung her stocking over the screen.

He poured himself a cup of coffee while Olivia set the video flames to crackling and then sat down to watch while she dumped out her stocking on the floor.

This had been some year. Last Christmas Eve he had worn a white chef’s coat and prepared a four-course prix fixe menu at a trendy restaurant in Albuquerque. This year he was living in a yellow-and-white singlewide in Last Chance, running his own soon-to-be-famous diner, and raising his niece. And then there was Sarah. He smiled every time he thought about her.

Of course, with his grueling schedule at the Dip ’n’ Dine, Olivia’s needs, and Kaitlyn to worry about, not to mention Sarah’s own agenda, he hadn’t been able to spend a fraction of the time he wanted to with her, but they had managed. And in just a few hours, he’d be seeing her at the ranch when the three of them went up to spend Christmas Day with the Cooleys.

“When’s Mom going to get up?” Olivia leaned on the arm of his chair wearing the plastic earrings she found in her stocking and munching on a candy cane.

Chris glanced out the window. The sky had lightened and the sun was just about to burst over the crest of the mountains to the east. “Why don’t you go get her? Put your slippers on first.”

While Olivia scrambled to find her slippers and then tore out the front door, Chris got up to put the breakfast casserole in the oven. He smiled when he saw Olivia come racing around the corner and charge through the door of the travel trailer. Perhaps it was because of the change in Kaitlyn, or maybe Olivia still resented being left behind, but she had not warmed up to her mother like Chris expected her to. It pleased him to see Olivia chattering as she tugged Kaitlyn from the trailer and toward the house. Kaitlyn was even smiling.

“Here she is! Let’s open presents now.” Olivia and Kaitlyn came through the front door.

“Cool your jets, kiddo. We need to think about why we even have Christmas first.” He sat back down and took his Bible off the end table. “I know you’ve been working on learning this in Sunday school, so I’ll read and you say it with me, okay?”

Olivia came and stood next to him. He slipped an arm around her waist and the two of them began. “In those days, Caesar Augustus issued a decree . . .”

Sarah saw the Jeep coming up the road to the ranch house, trailing a long plume of dust, and went out on the porch to wait for Chris and his family. The air was cold and fragrant with wood smoke, but she found the stillness a peaceful respite from the chaos that had reigned inside since her nephews had roared through the house several hours earlier proclaiming the arrival of Christmas morning.

Chris smiled at her through the windshield as he stopped in the drive, and Kaitlyn, sitting next to him, returned her wave. Sarah had been ready to dislike Kaitlyn on sight. After all, who just goes off and leaves her kid? But far from being the heartless narcissist that Sarah expected to meet, Kaitlyn just seemed lost, and totally crushed. Sarah stepped off the porch to greet the Reeds and slipped her arm around Kaitlyn’s waist to lead her into the house.

“Come in this house, and merry Christmas.” Nancy Jo met them at the door wearing a holly-sprigged apron over white wool pants and a red sweater. She held up her cheek for a kiss from Chris and grabbed Olivia in a quick squeeze.

“Mom, this is Kaitlyn, Chris’s sister and Livvy’s mom.”

“I’m so glad to finally get to meet you, Kaitlyn.” Nancy Jo enveloped her in a warm hug that held no hint she had ever heard a negative word about her guest. “Welcome to the zoo. We’ll have dinner at about 3:00, but meanwhile, if you’re hungry, there’s all sorts of goodies laid out on the table in the den. So help yourself.”

“Mom’s one of those people who thinks if you’re not actually eating, you’re probably starving.” Sarah smiled at Kaitlyn.

“A woman after my own heart.” Chris gave Nancy Jo a one-armed hug.

“I got some boots for Christmas.” Olivia, who had been out of the conversation about as long as she could stand it, held up her treasure for inspection. “Uncle Chris said I had to wear shoes since we weren’t riding today, but I brought them just in case. Can I ride?”

“Livvy.” Chris glared at her.

Sarah laughed. “Not today, I’m afraid. Everyone’s got the day off, even the horses. Maybe later we’ll go see them though.”

“We’ll take her.” Two boys, maybe a little older than Olivia, skidded to a stop in the entry hall.

“Great.” Sarah put a hand on each shoulder. “Livvy, these are my nephews, Michael James and Jacob. You may have seen them at school.”

“We know you,” Michael James said. “You’re the one who beat up Emma Anderson.”

Olivia’s face fell into a scowl.

“Sorry you got kicked out of school for that,” Jacob chimed in. “She’s kind of a crybaby. So do you want to go see the horses?”

“Shut the door and don’t”—Nancy Jo sighed and finished her sentence too late—“slam it.”

“Listen.” Sarah held up a finger and tipped her head. “That’s called silence. It only happens when the boys are outside. Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone. Now, the first thing you need to know is that this is a house right out of the nineteenth century. We’ll find all the men sitting around like third base in the den, and we’ll leave Chris, the best cook in the county—sorry, Mom—with them. Then we’ll go join all the women in the kitchen, busy cooking dinner. They’ll put me to work unwrapping the butter or something. I know. It’s an odd system. But they seem to like it that way.”

“Sarah Elizabeth, you just wear me out.” Nancy Jo shook her head and headed back to the kitchen.

“Hey, everybody.” Sarah led Chris and Kaitlyn into the den, where a huge Christmas tree dominated one corner. “Here are some very special friends of mine. I think most of you know Chris Reed, the new owner of the Dip ’n’ Dine, and this is his sister, Kaitlyn.”

One by one the men half rose from where they were sitting playing dominos or just talking to shake Chris’s hand and nod at Kaitlyn. When Sarah reached the last two, she smiled and reached up to drape an arm around each of their shoulders.

“These are my two favorite cousins, Ray and Steven Braden. Ray is an artist in Santa Fe. His wife is Lainie and she’s you-know-where. You’ll meet her in a minute. And this is Steven.” She gave him a little shake. “Steven shocked the daylights out of all of us this morning by telling us the State Police has said they’ll have him. He’s in the next academy class. Who knew?”

“We all had a feeling he’d be getting up close and personal with the law one day.” Ray grinned. “We just didn’t think it would be from the good side.”

Steven ignored the jab. His eyes were on Kaitlyn, and he took one of her hands in both of his, smiling so his dimple showed. “Kaitlyn, was it? Are you in town for long? I’d love to show you around.”

“No! Steven, don’t even think it.” Sarah got between them and gave Steven a little shove. “Kaitlyn, stay away from him. I’m warning you. He thinks he’s God’s gift, but he’s a lump of coal if ever there was one. If you see him coming, just run.”

“Wow, if that’s what you say about your favorite cousin, I’m glad I’m not further on down the list.” Steven smiled his aw-shucks grin and ducked his head.

Sarah saw him check to see if Kaitlyn had noticed and rolled her eyes. “Come on, Kaitlyn, I’ll introduce you to the kitchen help now. Gran’s in there and she’s been waiting for you. Chris, I’ll see you later.” She smiled up at him and squeezed his arm before leading Kaitlyn off to the kitchen.

Chris watched them leave and turned to find every eye in the den on him. Clearly, they had not missed the warmth of Sarah’s touch. And the youngest daughter of the area’s biggest rancher had a roomful of bodyguards. He smiled. No one moved.

Finally, one of the hands spoke. “There’s some fudge there on the table, if you want some.”

“Um, no thanks. I’m good.” Chris looked around, but the only chair he could see was at the desk. He turned it around and sat in it.

“Big fella like you play any football?”

“I played in high school.” Chris tried to remember the name of the man who asked the question.

“Any good?”

“Well, the team was. We won the state championship my junior and senior year.”

“You don’t say. What state?”

“Arizona.”

An almost palpable wave swept over the room, and Chris saw everyone relax. Well, Sarah’s dad still looked pretty stern, but clearly Chris had passed some kind of test with the rest of them.

The conversation drifted from high school football to college ball, and Chris was starting to feel a little more comfortable when Ray cleared his throat. “Uh, Chris, I think you’re getting a page.”

Chris looked up to see Sarah standing by the front door holding his jacket and trying to get his attention. He stood up. “Excuse me, gentlemen. It’s been a pleasure. I’m sure I’ll see you later.”

Joining Sarah, he helped her into her coat and put his own jacket on. “What was that all about? Why didn’t you just come in and get me? Or holler or something?”

Sarah shrugged and led the way onto the porch. “I don’t know. I thought maybe I could catch your eye and you could just slip out unnoticed.”

Chris laughed and reached for her hand as they stepped onto the drive. “Well, I’m sorry, but that was the most noticed exit I’ve made in a long time.”

“Was it awful in there?”

“It wasn’t bad. Your dad doesn’t seem real happy with me, though.”

“Oh, don’t worry about him. He’ll love you when he gets to know you.”

“Be sure to tell him that, will you? I don’t think he’s all that convinced.” They headed down the road that led to the corrals. “Where’s Kaitlyn, by the way?”

“In the kitchen. She and Lainie hit it right off. I think they’re peeling potatoes or something. They were going to make me help too, but I escaped. I always cut myself.”

“You don’t need to cut yourself, all you need to do—”

Sarah held up a hand. “Do not go there. In fact, let’s get one thing settled. If I need a cooking lesson, you are the one and only person I’ll come to. If I don’t ask for one, you can bet I don’t want one. Agreed?”

“Okay.” They walked awhile in easy silence. “But I’m beginning to think you see me as just another pretty face who knows his way around the kitchen.”

Sarah burst out laughing and threw her arms around his waist. “I love you.”

Immediately she dropped her arms and jumped back, hands over her mouth. “I didn’t mean to say that. I mean . . .”

Chris took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. “It’s okay. I know what you meant.” He smiled. “You know, if I didn’t know it was impossible, I’d say you were blushing.”

“It’s possible. I feel like such a doofus. I’m surprised that thundering sound isn’t you running for the hills.”

“Nope. I’m not running. That thundering sound is them.” Olivia had spotted them and was leading Jacob and Michael James in a charge their way. “And I wouldn’t thunder if I did run. What kind of thing is that to say?”

Sarah laughed again and took his hand. “A pretty face, a great cook, and someone who makes me laugh. I like that combination.”

“Hey. What are you guys doing?” Olivia skidded to a stop in front of them with Jacob and Michael James close behind.

“Just walking.” Chris held his other hand out to Olivia. She took it.

“Where are you walking to?”

“Just walking, that’s all.”

“Want to come see the horses?”

“Maybe later.”

Olivia looked up at him. She was clearly torn between running off with her two new friends or staying with Chris and Sarah and “just walking.” The friends won, and in a few seconds they had thundered off again.

“She’s a different little girl. So much happier.” Sarah watched her go.

“She still has a long way to go, but we’re making progress.”

“How does Kaitlyn fit in the family picture?”

“I don’t know what’s going on with Kaitlyn. I do all the parenting, but that’s an agreement we made before she ever came back. And truthfully, I don’t think Livvy even notices. She’s just glad to have her mom where she can see her.”

“What’s Kaitlyn going to do?”

“She was in such bad shape when she got here that I’ve just let her be for a while. But after New Year’s, I’m going to have her come work at the Dip ’n’ Dine with me. She needs to start putting her life back together.”

Sarah nodded and walked next to Chris for a long while without saying anything.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Chris stopped and looked down at her until she looked up into his face, shielding her eyes against the glare of the sun with her hand.

“Your life is so full. You have Livvy and Kaitlyn and the Dip ’n’ Dine. I don’t see how you have room for anything else.”

“Sarah, listen to me.” Chris brushed a curl from her face, letting his hand linger on her cheek. “My life has, or had, a huge emptiness, no matter how full my days were. I’d say big enough to drive a truck through, but you’re nowhere near that big. This I do know, though—since you’ve been in my life, that emptiness is no longer there.”

Sarah started to open her mouth, but Chris laid two fingers against her lips. “Wait. I’m not done.” He took a deep breath and blew it out in a gust. “I spend a big chunk of my time kicking myself for dumb things I’ve said or done, and this may wind up being one of those times. But I’d a hundred times more rather kick myself for something I did than something I didn’t have the guts to do. A little while ago you said ‘I love you.’ I know what you meant. You meant you loved the way I made you laugh, or the way I can play the fool sometimes. But listen to me. I love you. And if love is that punch-in-the-gut feeling that never goes away, I’ve loved you since I first saw you in the Dip ’n’ Dine last summer. All it does is keep getting stronger until I can’t think of anything but how I want to spend my life loving you. Now if you want to run for the hills, go for it. But know that I’ll be here waiting for you.”

Sarah didn’t say anything for a long moment, and Chris was beginning to wonder if he hadn’t really blown it when she said, “You know, I had always pegged you as the strong, silent type, but you sure talk a lot.”

He stared. “That’s it? I pour my heart out and you just tell me I talk too much?”

“Oh, I didn’t say too much, just a lot. And by the way, I’m done having someone else do my thinking for me. If I want to run for the hills, I’ll do it without anyone’s permission. And if I say, ‘I love you,’ I’ll be the one to say what it means. Got that?”

“Got it. So . . . what did you mean?”

She looked up at Chris, and the smile that filled her face and shone in her eyes radiated through him like sunshine.

“I mean I love you.”

There was nothing for him to do but kiss her then, and he lifted her off her feet to do just that. It was a good kiss, warm and deep and passionate.

“Gross. Would you guys stop that? Miss Nancy Jo says dinner’s almost ready and you have to come in now.”

But not very long.