Alexa Wú: January 8
I have just completed a session with Alexa. Secondary traumatic stress is upon me. Work with her is proving complex and disturbing. After our discussion today, I feel ill, like I’ve been slung around at great speed, my head feeling like it might implode. There was so much switching. Three alters were here today: Oneiroi, Dolly, and Runner. When Runner was in control, she claimed that she “sees everything.” She believes I am interrogating Dolly and threatened me. Her contempt was shocking.
The switching of personalities is speeding up and it’s difficult to know exactly what might fly at me, hence my secondary traumatic stress. I have become fearful for my safety, as well as Alexa’s.
While dissociative fugue is diminishing, loss of time is still a factor. But it seems the personalities are coming out now at such speed that I suspect Alexa is losing control over her personas along with their actions. I also noticed a dissociative trance in Alexa’s face today (like her eyes were dead) that worried me greatly. It seems as though there’s a dehumanization to her at times, like she doesn’t feel anything, lacking emotion and empathy. This is disconcerting. Mostly because she is close to acting on her rage—just like Runner did today, who incidentally was vile.
Rethink: Containment for Alexa (especially Dolly), safety and possible intervention. Do I need to increase her medication . . . ? Involve Anna, her stepmother, as Mohsin suggested?
Or does she need to be committed?
To switch from a regular personality to seductress to killer within minutes is terrifying. Neither of us is safe.