List No. 021

RULES OF PARENTING

Susan Sontag

September 1959

Susan Sontag was one of the most important intellectuals of the last century – a critical essayist and celebrated author whose work never failed to stimulate debate. In September 1952, at 19 years of age, she had her first and only child, David, a son who went on to edit his mother’s journals after her death in 2004. On a page of one of those journals can be found this list of parenting rules, written by Sontag seven years after she gave birth.

1. Be consistent.

2. Don’t speak about him to others (e.g., tell funny things) in his presence. (Don’t make him self-conscious.)

3. Don’t praise him for something I wouldn’t always accept as good.

4. Don’t reprimand him harshly for something he’s been allowed to do.

5. Daily routine: eating, homework, bath, teeth, room, story, bed.

6. Don’t allow him to monopolize me when I am with other people.

7. Always speak well of his pop. (No faces, sighs, impatience, etc.)

8. Do not discourage childish fantasies.

9. Make him aware that there is a grown-up world that’s none of his business.

10. Don’t assume that what I don’t like to do (bath, hairwash) he won’t like either.