List No. 059

THE EIGHT KINDES OF DRUNKENNES

Thomas Nashe

1592

Born in 1567, Thomas Nashe was a popular Elizabethan satirist who made his name writing plays, poetry, novels and pamphlets – small, cheaply produced books that were largely seen as dispensable, and which were all the rage in London in the late 1600s amongst the reading public. One of Nashe’s most popular pamphlets was Pierce Penniless, His Supplication to the Divell, a quite cutting look at modern society from which this entertaining list – The Eight Kindes of Drunkennes – is taken.

THE EIGHT KINDES OF DRUNKENNES

The first is ape drunke; and he leapes, and singes, and hollowes, and daunceth for the heauens: the second is lion drunke; and he flings the pots about the house, calls his hostesse whore, breakes the glasse windowes with his dagger, and is apt to quarrell with anie man that speaks to him: the third is swine drunke; heauie, lumpish, and sleepie, and cries for a little more drinke, and a fewe more cloathes: the fourth is sheepe drunke; wise in his conceipt, when he cannot bring foorth a right word: the fifth is mawdlen drunke; when a fellowe will weepe for kindnes in the midst of ale, and kisse you, saying, “By God, captaine, I loue thee. Goe thy wayes; thou dost not thinke so often of me as I doo of thee; I would (if it pleased God) I could not loue thee as well as I doo;” and then he puts his finger in his eye, and cryes: the sixt is Martin drunke; when a man is drunke, and drinkes himselfe sober ere he stirre: the seuenth is goate drunke; when, in his drunkennes, he hath no minde but on lecherie: the eighth is fox drunke—when he is craftie drunke, as manie of the Dutchmen bee, that will neuer bargaine but when they are drunke.